[As you probably know Molly Weasley's book has been number one on the
wizard's best seller list for 27 straight weeks now, but this is the
first negative review of it I've seen. The Daily Profit people won't be
happy about having their copyrighted review posted here but they can't
sue me, my real name isn't eggplant]
BOTTOM OF THE BIRDCAGE
by Severus Snape *
It seems that anyone who had even a passing acquaintance with the man
is writing a book about Harry Potter, and people are actually reading
the silly things too. This dismal avalanche of stale books and the
unhealthy fascination the wizarding world has for Potter is a
puzzlement. Far from being the most naturally talented wizard in a
thousand years as many ludicrously call Harry Potter, his defeat of
lord Voldamort probably had as much to do with luck as anything else,
and he didn't even survive the encounter. The latest addition to this
distressing trend is by Molly Weasley [MY HARRY; Popular Witchcraft
Press; 236 pages, 5 galleons] Even though both books are about Potter
and both are flawed nobody could confuse this insipid fluff with the
scholarly tome written by her daughter in law Hermione Weasley [HARRY'S
WAR, The Life And Times of Harry Potter; Hogwarts University Press;
1466 pages, 35 galleons]. At least Molly Weasley makes no pretence of
being an objective impartial observer of history, she makes it clear
she was always fond of Mr Potter, and after he was of some assistance
to her daughter who go into a bit of trouble when she was in her first
year at Hogwarts, her motherly feelings toward him really went into
high gear. I'll spare you the boring details.
However the book is not totally without entertainment value, in one
unintentionally hilarious scene immediately after he finishes the
Tri-Wizard tournament, mighty heroic Harry Potter is depicted as crying
like a baby in the arms of Mrs Weasley. It seems that Harry Potter had
a guilty conscience about the death of Cedric Diggory. Now that's
interesting, but she does not explore this intriguing revelation in
greater detail, rather we are treated to page after page of tedious
preparations for the marriage between Mr. Potter and Mrs Weasley's
daughter. From reading the book I'm sure Mrs Weasley found these
activities delightful, but why the author thought anyone else would be
interested in such an unimportant matter is a mystery, after all it
never amounted to anything, the marriage only lasted a month. The only
part of this long boring chapter of any interest is when she overhears
Potter casually say to her son Ronald that he wants to write a will and
get married as soon as possible because he doesn't expect to live much
longer. It seems to me to be the height of irresponsibility to marry
and father a child if you expected to get killed soon, but Mrs Weasley
has perversely chosen to interpret this as heroism.
Mrs. Weasley goes on and on page after uninteresting page about
Mr Potter's death by lord Voldamort and the effect it had on his wife
and friends, no doubt she was aiming for epic tragedy but what she
achieved was maudlin claptrap. This dumpy little woman would do well to
stay in the kitchen and leave the writing of books to those who have an
aptitude for it.
_______________
* Severus Snape is the potions master at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft
And Wizardry. His book "Manufactured Hero, the Building of the Potter
Myth" will be published early next year by Slytherin Press.
====================================================================
[The day after the above review was published I found this report also
in The Daily Profit, and on page one]
STRANGE MALADY AFFLICTS PROFESSOR
Professor Severus Snape was taken ill today as he was giving the first
of a series of planed public lectures promoting his upcoming book about
Harry Potter. Ronald Weasley was in the audience at the time and talked
to reporters. Obviously struggling to keep his voice under control he
said "It's all so very sad, he had just opened his mouth to start the
lecture when his tongue started to swell, in less than a minute it was
4 feet long, then he started running around the stage dragging his
tongue behind him making this odd little squeaking sound. I just
happened to have my camera with me at the time and got a shot of it"
see photo on page 1 "I of course have absolutely no idea what could
have caused such a thing, I've never seen anything like it before in my
life. It's a shame, a real shame, my entire family was so looking
forward to hearing what the professor had to say about Harry. You'll
have to excuse me now as I wipe a tear from my eye." Mr. Weasley's
brothers Fred and George were also in the audience but were too
overcome with emotion to speak to reporters. Doctors say the tongue
will return to normal size in a day or two but have no explanation of
why it grew so large. Professor Snape has indicated he has no plans to
continue lecturing in the immediate future.
wizard's best seller list for 27 straight weeks now, but this is the
first negative review of it I've seen. The Daily Profit people won't be
happy about having their copyrighted review posted here but they can't
sue me, my real name isn't eggplant]
BOTTOM OF THE BIRDCAGE
by Severus Snape *
It seems that anyone who had even a passing acquaintance with the man
is writing a book about Harry Potter, and people are actually reading
the silly things too. This dismal avalanche of stale books and the
unhealthy fascination the wizarding world has for Potter is a
puzzlement. Far from being the most naturally talented wizard in a
thousand years as many ludicrously call Harry Potter, his defeat of
lord Voldamort probably had as much to do with luck as anything else,
and he didn't even survive the encounter. The latest addition to this
distressing trend is by Molly Weasley [MY HARRY; Popular Witchcraft
Press; 236 pages, 5 galleons] Even though both books are about Potter
and both are flawed nobody could confuse this insipid fluff with the
scholarly tome written by her daughter in law Hermione Weasley [HARRY'S
WAR, The Life And Times of Harry Potter; Hogwarts University Press;
1466 pages, 35 galleons]. At least Molly Weasley makes no pretence of
being an objective impartial observer of history, she makes it clear
she was always fond of Mr Potter, and after he was of some assistance
to her daughter who go into a bit of trouble when she was in her first
year at Hogwarts, her motherly feelings toward him really went into
high gear. I'll spare you the boring details.
However the book is not totally without entertainment value, in one
unintentionally hilarious scene immediately after he finishes the
Tri-Wizard tournament, mighty heroic Harry Potter is depicted as crying
like a baby in the arms of Mrs Weasley. It seems that Harry Potter had
a guilty conscience about the death of Cedric Diggory. Now that's
interesting, but she does not explore this intriguing revelation in
greater detail, rather we are treated to page after page of tedious
preparations for the marriage between Mr. Potter and Mrs Weasley's
daughter. From reading the book I'm sure Mrs Weasley found these
activities delightful, but why the author thought anyone else would be
interested in such an unimportant matter is a mystery, after all it
never amounted to anything, the marriage only lasted a month. The only
part of this long boring chapter of any interest is when she overhears
Potter casually say to her son Ronald that he wants to write a will and
get married as soon as possible because he doesn't expect to live much
longer. It seems to me to be the height of irresponsibility to marry
and father a child if you expected to get killed soon, but Mrs Weasley
has perversely chosen to interpret this as heroism.
Mrs. Weasley goes on and on page after uninteresting page about
Mr Potter's death by lord Voldamort and the effect it had on his wife
and friends, no doubt she was aiming for epic tragedy but what she
achieved was maudlin claptrap. This dumpy little woman would do well to
stay in the kitchen and leave the writing of books to those who have an
aptitude for it.
_______________
* Severus Snape is the potions master at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft
And Wizardry. His book "Manufactured Hero, the Building of the Potter
Myth" will be published early next year by Slytherin Press.
====================================================================
[The day after the above review was published I found this report also
in The Daily Profit, and on page one]
STRANGE MALADY AFFLICTS PROFESSOR
Professor Severus Snape was taken ill today as he was giving the first
of a series of planed public lectures promoting his upcoming book about
Harry Potter. Ronald Weasley was in the audience at the time and talked
to reporters. Obviously struggling to keep his voice under control he
said "It's all so very sad, he had just opened his mouth to start the
lecture when his tongue started to swell, in less than a minute it was
4 feet long, then he started running around the stage dragging his
tongue behind him making this odd little squeaking sound. I just
happened to have my camera with me at the time and got a shot of it"
see photo on page 1 "I of course have absolutely no idea what could
have caused such a thing, I've never seen anything like it before in my
life. It's a shame, a real shame, my entire family was so looking
forward to hearing what the professor had to say about Harry. You'll
have to excuse me now as I wipe a tear from my eye." Mr. Weasley's
brothers Fred and George were also in the audience but were too
overcome with emotion to speak to reporters. Doctors say the tongue
will return to normal size in a day or two but have no explanation of
why it grew so large. Professor Snape has indicated he has no plans to
continue lecturing in the immediate future.