AN: This is my first time ever doing a character read story. In this story I am having Harry do the character read of the story Shattered Dreams by Shadow's Liight. In this story he will both read and remember things which relate to and are from the other story. I didn't feel I could simply have him read about it without remembering it as well. Please note I can only update my chapters when Shadow updates her next one so that's when you'll be able to read more. I do hope you like it and please read and review so I may know what you think of it. I hope it lives up to everyone's expectations thanks and many hugs, Hermione xxx
Harry went up the pull down ladder to the attic something he'd not done in many years. He wondered what he'd find up here but as he could never tell it was slightly interesting to him. He saw the first box full of his uncle Vernon's college trophies and wanted nothing more than to smash up or burn the entire lot however he restrained himself from doing so. He was better than that at least that's what he kept telling himself. He then saw a box of old toys and looked inside it finding all of Dudley's old video games. As a child he'd wondered why he didn't have them but seeing the tear tracks on the cheeks of his aunt who'd so often tried to hide them told him well. They'd not had much money because anything Vernon earned was either given to Petunia as mere pocket money while he drank the rest but not before paying the bills. Ironically you could call Vernon a smart drunk if that was even such a thing but Harry of course knew better didn't he?
How could he forget that day he'd first witnessed it. "Vernon just gets angry sometimes" Petunia explained, turning away from the child so he wouldn't see the tear tracks on her cheeks. "I know deep down he does love all of us. I couldn't leave him even if it is the right thing to do". He remembered her every words. Just how long had she believed what she was saying or more to the actual point for how long had it been true. Maybe she only said those things because she really couldn't leave him. It was the first time in a long time that it had actually occurred to her that maybe Vernon Dursley wouldn't have let her go. He closed the box of toys and tried to shake the memory from his mind as he moved on. He found a book shelf at the back labelled with many different sections for the different types of books. Finding a diary of Petunia's he opened it reading it. It was from when she was a young woman and spoke of an incident at a party, moving on throughout her life as she aged.
I think Sam and I might have hit it off tonight if only Vernon had not stepped in and punched him. The whole party saw and it was shameful. Daddy said as I am now in trouble as he puts it I must marry Vernon lest I wish to disgrace the family. I will do it because it is the right thing to do. Maybe he won't hit me and only men who approach me. Dudley Vernon Dursley is what we called him. He was beautiful.
The Doctor said to me I can't have any more children. I wish it wasn't true. He said I'd been hit so many times now my ovaries needed to be removed or safety. I am so worried about leaving young Harry and indeed Dudley alone with Vernon. I have no choice however. I have begged my doctor not to tell anyone about what Vernon has done but he is insisting I go to counselling for it. I cannot leave Vernon now even though it's the right thing to do. I don't have a job and the little money I have comes from Vernon. We couldn't survive without him and it's a sad day in the Dursley household when I admit this. My counsellor says I should just leave him but she doesn't understand I can't. I love him. Sad as it sounds it is true. I do love him and I do know it's my fault it happens. I should change what I do. He gave me flowers the other day and once just once hope bloomed in my heart. We made love that night and he was actually tender with me for once. It all changed the next day however. All he's ever done is placate me and I must face this fact once and for all.
I don't know what to do with my life. It has all come to a head in the last few hours. I can sort of handle Vernon turning on me because I'm used to it and can at least attempt to defend myself. What hope have children? "Let me go" he cried struggling against him. Here he continued to read as the memories came flooding back to him and like a wave of emotions he felt he couldn't move as he remained rooted to the spot reliving his worst nightmare.
He was tempted to use magic because Uncle Vernon's grip was too tight but considering how uncaring the Ministry of Magic was, it could lead him to losing the only home he ever had. So thus he simply continued struggling as much as he could even as he was dragged into the living room.
"Vernon, stop!" Petunia screamed and Harry stopped struggling only for a moment to see the large handprints on her face and neck as well as her cracked lip as well as Dudley huddled in the corner, looking terrified. He didn't have time to worry about his Aunt and cousin though because suddenly he felt the large beefy hand wrap around his throat and lift him up. He felt his vision blur and he was momentarily disoriented. He couldn't see, he couldn't speak. Was he going to die? Why was it wrong to use magic if it was to save his own life? He didn't understand.
He turned his attention back to the diary reading once more. I couldn't stop it. I tried so hard to stop it. I'm so weak I couldn't even protect him. Oh Lily I'm so sorry. I know I resented you for being special like mum and dad always viewed you but I should have been able to protect your son and I couldn't even do that. Why couldn't it have happened to me instead? Huh? I'm so ashamed of myself. I was weak and because I yet again didn't do what Vernon asked we all got punished for it no one more so then Harry. He couldn't even protect himself magically as it's against the law. I know from your own days at that school. RAPE! Of all things Vernon has done raping a child is the final straw that broke the camel's back. I can't believe it! Words can't describe how I'm feeling. I tried so hard to stop him I even called out but I couldn't I simply wasn't strong enough.
Luckily or unluckily depending on perspective, Vernon did throw Harry on the ground before he could completely run out of air but the boy was still too disoriented to see what was happening. He could vaguely hear Aunt Petunia's screams and the sounds of Dudley's whimpers but nothing could prepare him for the pain that came next. He kicked and thrashed but every resistance of his was met with a swift punch and a kick to the stomach that made Harry cough out blood and grimace in pain.
On and on it went and I couldn't stop it. Even Dudley tried to stop him but he was terrified of getting hurt himself. I mean what Harry did next shook me the most. He wrapped his arms around his own throat to try and end his own life before us all. Being dead was better than living in that moment and I can safely say I have never agreed more. I ran over to the phone calling the police as fast as I could. I told them what was going on. Vernon was so preoccupied with Harry he didn't think to check on what I was doing.
Why? Why is this happening to me? Why isn't anyone stopping this? Why does it hurt so much? I don't understand. Sirius, Ron, Hermione, help please. Please stop him...get his hands away please. Please stop this. Please!
All at once the thoughts came flooding back to him. Looking at the book once more he continued as it seemed he was unable to stop reading. Maybe it had been I the attic as she'd wished to hide her thoughts away up here where she wouldn't have to be reminded of them every time she saw the diary. However she'd be reminded if it every time she saw him and that was very hard for him to take. Yes he was slightly older now but one never forgets things like this.
"Don't Harry," Dudley said in a shaking voice. "T-the Police is going to take Daddy away." He looked ready to burst into tears just saying that. "It'll be okay." Dudley tried to stop Harry taking his own life and I was so scared I just stood froze rooted to the one spot. The police were on their way and that's all that counted right now. This hell would be over soon enough and she knew it. Harry had never deserved that. It is something I'll never be able to forget and I am so sorry I was so weak. I really did love him and feel he could change eventually and all because of my thoughts about him and our situation I didn't leave and then this happened. I will never again think of things the same way. Oh Harry if only I'd been strong enough to save you. You lost your parents and the only family you had left turned out to be the worst ones. You deserve so much better.
Harry was once again in his thoughts as he recalled what happened next. This house never was the same afterwards that's one sure thing. Harry stared at him blankly. He didn't really understand what Dudley was saying. He understood he was speaking something but he didn't know what the words were that were being spoken were. However, he did remove his hands from his throat and attempted to sit up, a sharp pain running down his spine causing him to crumble back to the ground. A chuckle escaped his lips. He wasn't supposed to move after being raped was he? He really was an idiot wasn't he? However, he didn't have much time to think about that either considering his vision was blurring right in front of him and he could barely understand what was going on. He just wanted to pass out. Nausea filling inside him, the last thing he saw was Aunt Petunia moving towards him before his world went black.
He wasn't alone however as Petunia often had her thoughts on the matter which weren't in the diary but plagued her mind none the less. The realisations she'd come to her about herself were the hardest things to accept. I mean now she was faced with the awful truth that she'd failed as a parent as well as everything else. Was there nothing she could right? The things which happened afterwards always stuck in her mind the most.
Her eyes did water slightly as she saw the police take her husband away because he meant so much to her for a long time but she had enough. She wouldn't let herself, her son or her nephew suffer under this man any longer, not after what he had done. Speaking of nephew, her eyes flitted over to him, seeing the blood and injuries on him and seeing Dudley trying to reach him. A shiver ran down her spine as she saw how empty his gaze was and even more when he chuckled.
Pushing in her fear at seeing him like this, she slowly approached him as the paramedics entered inside the house. She was about to speak but he passed out before she could do anything. Trying not to panic, she turned to the paramedics. "Can I ride with him?" Petunia asked the lady paramedic there who simply smiled.
"Of course," she replied kindly. "You have a few injuries too so you should be checked out as well."
"Mom," Dudley quickly spoke up. "
I don't want to stay at home alone." The fear in her son's voice made her heart clench and a few tears filled inside her eyes. She had failed. She had failed as a mother. She had failed as an Aunt. It looked like Lily was a better mother too, out of all the things she did better. She wiped away her tears though not wanting Dudley to be more scared while seeing her in tears. This was all her fault. She had never really hit Harry but she had never stopped Vernon either and now things had come this far. This was all her fault and it always would be.
Back in the attic Harry wept at the memories he'd read and seen in his own minds eye. He was tempted to leave the diary there but knew as he descended the stairs he could never just leave it up there. He'd carry it with him always wherever he went from now on.