I wrote this to explain why I, like so many others, enjoy seeing the boys together, need it, even, to complete the legend of The Brothers Winchester. It isn't about how unbelievably hot it is (even though it reallly is, although the reason for that is probably one in the same.
For me it's something a little deeper than that, and maybe I'm kidding myself, rationalizing and justifying a sick addiction, but hey, can I help it...
Blatant Wincest Ahead.
Sam is lying sticky and sweat in Dean's arms, breath searing Dean's skin. Dean looks at Sam, his half closed eyes, the way he's trying not to fall asleep. A feeling tugs at him, familiar and sickening.
He never wants this to go away, and at the same time, he knows that this,this here, before him, can't be real. It burns his eyes, and he feels himself automatically cover it, pretend it doesn't exist. But then Sam does something he's never done before - he rises his head, mouth finding Dean's, content just to feel, not moving. He pulls away and grins before falling back against Dean's bare chest. What... Sam has never looked at him like that, happy and loving, no lust filling his features. Nothing driving him but pure and simple love. The words are falling from his mouth before he knows it, so suprised he can't stop them.
"Sammy?"
"Hmm?" Dean can feel the sound in Sam's chest, and it pushes him farther.
"Why, you know, why do we do this? Why do you keep being here? With me? You don't have to, you know, I just, I..." He sounds like a broken child, scared to ask.
Sam goes still, rises in Dean's arms and faces him, his brow crumpled.
"What are you talking about, Dean?" The words come out rough, almost angry, and Dean trys to shrink back into himself.
"Nothing...I..." Sam's gaze softens, his hand lifting to curve around Dean's jaw.
"No, tell me. It's okay..." His voice is softer, worried.
"It's just...I know you don't want this. Not like I do, and you still, I mean, I love you so much, and I just..." He's going in circles, but Sam understands, his head shaking before Dean can finish.
"I want this, Dean. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. How can you not understand that. This is you and me, nothing else."
He's practiced this, he knew Dean was going to ask, knew this was a problem. He's gearing himself up. "We are fighting every day, and I might lose you, and it would kill me. I do this because I love you with everything, I feel like we are one person. This is just another part of us. Being around you has always been intense, and scary, and blinding, and it turned into this. I couldn't leave this behind, no matter how much I wanted to." The last words come out dark and deep, and then Sam is kissing Dean wildly, pushing him back into the matress. And Dean believes him.
I wrote this to try and explain wincest - while some writers do it just because of the hot sex (which, in those cases, usually isn't even appealing) many more do it because it's really intensely beautiful, like no one has a bond like the brothers, anyway, and it just seems natural that it should be expressed in all ways...
But whatever. Maybe I'm not explaining this right, but at least I tried.
Please do not Flame, its simply not appreciated...