Misfitverse: An Entry from Kid Razor's Blog
Author's Note: Hey, folks! L1701E here! I was struggling for ideas for what to write when I came across the fic "Spider-Man's Blog" by Brooklynn and was thinking about what to do next for "Misfitverse: The Korvac Saga", when an idea hit me. It has been established in NebulaBelt's Misfitverse that Kid Razor exists: The original Razor, Robert Redford Parkins, is active in the 21st Century, and Suzi Lee had taken up the magic guitar in the 31st Century. So, I thought, since NebulaBelt had Kid Razor appear as a member of Teen Titans Gold, what were his thoughts on his teammates (Danny Phantom, Kim Possible, American Dragon Jake Long, and Static)? Find out here!
This is set after Chapter 5 of NebulaBelt's "CIVIL WAR: CHECKMATE Misfitverse"
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners, Kid Razor is mine.
Kid Razor's Blog
Kid Razor is Cleveland's local superhero and a member of Teen Titans Gold. He is the greatest superhero of all time. He's also a multi-platinum rock musician.
October 16, 2007
Hello, loyal readers! It's me again, the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll! As you know, the Fearless One has been using this blog for a while. And since this is the Kid of Rock's blog, it is naturally the greatest blog ever in the history of blogs. This blog is better than your blog. This blog can beat up your blog. This blog will steal your girlfriend, so lock 'em up, boys.
The Kid of Rock felt like espousing his opinions, and I know you felt like hearing them (Who doesn't like hearing my opinions?! The Kid of Rock brings clarity to the confused, baby), so here he is, posting again.
Now, as you know, yours truly, the greatest hero of all time, had accepted an invitation to Teen Titans Gold, sort of an elite version of the Titans. Naturally, they knew they were sunk without the Kid of Rock, so he accepted. It helped they had a hottie on board, that Possible chick. She wants me. It's tough being the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, girls just throw themselves at me.
Anyway, the Kid of Rock just came back from a big battle alongside the Misfits and the Boston Titans, composed of that rock band the Superstars (They're always trying to swipe my number one spot on the Billboard), and those two wrestler's boys, the Wildfire brothers. Believe it or not, those two taught yours truly a few tricks when he was in Boston this one time. Good times. Yours truly likes that Thunderbolt kid. He says what's on his mind, and the Kid of Rock can respect that. What was up with that Middle Eastern broad who was arguing with him, anyway? She was hot in that "I-have-no-regard-for-human-life" kinda way. Meh.
The Kid of Rock never really liked the original Titans much to be honest, especially that little birdbrain Robin. Batman messed that boy up good. And he makes me want to smack him. In fact, I did once. The reason? I'm Kid Razor. What more reason do you need. I do what I want, and no one can stop me. Although, the Kid of Rock has to admit, Starfire, the resident Space Oddity of the group (A David Bowie song. Listen to it.), is a hottie. She wants me. Naturally.
Anyway, Teen Titans Gold had stuck the Kid of Rock with people who, quite frankly, bore me. It's tough being the greatest superhero ever. Always being bothered by people who want to be me, but never can.
Jake Long's this Chinese kid who can turn into a dragon. And he flies and breathes fire. Whoopee. He said he fights supernatural threats. Great, we could use more people who specialize in THAT. God, we got Blade and Moon Knight, and those New York clowns in the jumpsuits. You know, the guys with that stupid little green ghost mascot? The Kid of Rock hates those guys. They tried to blast a ghost friend of mine, the jerks. I beat them DOWN for that. I broke the jaw of that one guy, what was his name, Egan? Ah, it don't matter.
Danny Phantom. Ghost and Ice powers. He's a nice guy, but he's like a Nickelodeon cartoon, you know? Funny things is, he's half-ghost, and his parents hate ghosts like the FoH hate mutants. Talk about your dysfunctional family. The Kid of Rock thinks his family should get their asses on Springer. Now THAT is good TV, and if you don't agree, you are the Kid of Rock's enemy, and he will hunt you down, and beat you with his guitar.
Static. Throws lightning. Come on, the codename should be obvious to what he can do. The Kid of Rock don't know him too well. I don't make it my business to get to know other heroes often (except for my bud Sonic Blue in Cincinnati. The Bengals still suck, Spence), because I have my own stuff to deal with, and so does he in Dakota. He fights Bang Babies, products of some gang-related accident or something. All the Kid of Rock knows it's created more freaks than reality TV. His worst enemy is, get this, a living shadow. The Kid of Rock kids you not. Ah well, it could be worse. He could've been an X-Man. Those guys are lunatics.
Kim Possible. NOW we are talking. Red hair, and the body of a Playboy model. She tries not to show it, but the Kid of Rock knows it. She wants the Kid of Rock, as I said earlier. When she's not kickin' ass as one of the Titans Gold (and looking good in those jeans as she's doing it), she's hanging out with that loser Ron Stoppable. I met him once. He's a twig. I could break him in half just by looking at him. He dared to get in my face once when I complemented Red. He thought he could take the Kid of Rock. What a moron, heh heh. I knocked the little monkey-ass out on his duff with one shove. Didn't even need to punch him, not that he was worthy of the honor of being punched by me. What a wuss. Of course, Red got mad, saying I had no right to do that. No right?! NO RIGHT?! I'm Kid Razor, the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll! The Juke Box Hero!I had every right! Not my fault Red got terrible taste, if she's willing to stoop low enough to date that worthless loser.
Sheesh, I get no respect. But then again, I'm not surprised. Everybody hates me because deep down, they want to be me. They're all jealous of my greatness. It's hard being the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll.
Anyway, there's also been rumblings about the Registration Act. Whoopity-doo. Let the Kid of Rock tell you, this is all paranoia, man. It's like the big Red Scare in the Fifties, folks. Some supervillains blow up a town, and the heroes get blamed. This is idiotic. It's like blaming a truck for smashing into a bicycle. Blame the driver, a truck with no driver just sits there. Sheesh.
You know, the hero community is really divided by this whole. Me, honestly...I don't really care. It's more political bullcrap, and politics bore the Kid of Rock. A lot of people believe I'm against it. I guess I am in a way, but you know what, I don't care what they do. Pass it or not, it don't matter. The Kid of Rock is gonna do what he wants anyway.
Anyway, yours truly's gotta get going. Keep on' rockin'!
COMMENTS:
(Subj: Shut up, Razor)
Razor, you really need to get to get that ego in check.
- Danny Phantom
--
(Subj: RE: Shut up, Razor)
You're just jealous, Ghost Boy.
- Kid Razor
--
(Subj: Unbelievable)
Razor, I know you like to think you're untouchable, but I can't believe that you actually don't care how things go with the Registration Act. This act affects everyone who wears a costume, including you. This thing is a violation of our rights. I kept my identity secret to protect my family from evil Bang Babies. One villainess found out who I was, and my dad got into big trouble for it. I am definitely against this.
- Static
--
(Subj: RE: Unbelievable)
Whatever, Thunderhead. Do what you want. This whole thing is just more whining and crying from cowards. People were terrified of Elvis's hips, too. 'He's shaking his hips, it's the end of society as we know it! Ahhhh!' Come on! People survived Elvis shaking his hips, and they'll survive superheroes.
- Kid Razor
--
(Subj: GRRRR)
Razor, you are still an egomaniacal slimeball. You actually think that because you're some primping preening Mick Jagger-wannabe pretty boy, all the girls like you! So not true! I've read your blog, and from what I can see, you don't care about the people you protect, you just care about yourself and glory. And you wonder why most of the superhero community hates your guts.
- Kim Possible
--
(Subj: RE: GRRRR)
Whatever, toots. You know you want me.
- Kid Razor
--
(Subj: Here we go again)
Hey, guys. Sorry I wasn't able to help you guys in Boston. I was busy. Reflector and Mr. Fahrenheit had escaped prison.
Anyway, I'm not surprised that Razor wouldn't care much about the Registration Act. To him, it's inconsequential. The only way he'd care is if it benefited him. As for me, I'm not sure. I can understand why some people will want it. They feel if we worked for the government, we'll be less feared and more able to operate in our hometowns. However, I don't feel comfortable exposing my identity to the government. Knowing them, they'll just put it in a big fat database, which some supervillain can hack. There are plenty of them smart enough to do it. And as a result, in one fell swoop, they could learn who we all are under our masks, and come after our families and those we love. Not to mention that the government may use Registration to prevent us from operating in countries our government may not like. I made this armor to help people, not enforce government policy.
Sorry, just had to say my piece.
- Sonic Blue
--
(Subj: RE: Here we go again)
It's alright, Sonic Blue. Don't you worry about it. We were able to handle it. We got plenty of help in Boston. And you do have a good point there.
- Static
--
(Subj: RE: RE: Here we go again)
Nice to hear from you at last, SB, ol' buddy.
And of course, you're right on about me and that Registration Act. I ain't afraid of no Act. I don't really care much for it. It sounds no fun.
- Kid Razor
Thanks for reading!