A/N: This is my first new fic in ages! Well, the idea was given to me by a line in one of my previous stories. It's just a bit of fun. Brighde's my beta and any other errors of my own, for which, I apologise. This story is also dedicated to her.
Ron stared in the mirror, he was absolutely gobsmacked as he stared at his naked upper torso in awe. That was no ordinary chocolate frog!
The dormitory was empty, thank God as it saved Ron a bit of embarrassment.
He had checked the mirror thoroughly, and it bore no signs of enchantments, or anything else for that matter. I'll get Hermione, I might have missed something. Ron put his shirt back on with a bit of difficulty before flinging himself through the door of his dormitory and practically flying down the stairs at top speed.
The brown haired individual he had been seeking was nowhere to be found within the confines of the Gryffindor common room, he rolled his eyes as he had been hoping that venturing further than the Fat Lady would be absolutely unnecessary, he had been wrong. Picking up a discarded jacket, he wrapped it around himself tightly and set off in search of Hermione.
He was lost in his thoughts of hexing the culprit into oblivion when Hermione found him.
"Ron? Why on Earth are you wearing a woolly cardigan in the middle of a heatwave?" She looked at him bewildered, he stared back at her like a demented donkey for a good while before he regained the ability to form coherent sentences. Nervously, he shuffled closely to her so nobody could hear what he was about to say.
"Willyoucomeupstairs?"
"Ronald!" She pushed him away quickly.
"No, no, not like that. You see, I have this problem that I need help with." He said hurriedly and he shuffled a bit closer. Hermione looked stunned and Ron could see that his version of an explanation wasn't helping. "Look, I need you to check the mirror in my dormitory, to make sure it's …. you know…. all right."
Hermione eyed him suspiciously before agreeing to what he asked. Ron heaved a deep sigh of relief, his eyes immediately widened at how tight his shirt felt upon doing so. Bloody hell. So he could avoid causing a scene, he nodded to Hermione for her to follow him before setting off for the Common Room at a fast pace, drawing the cardigan tighter around his frame. He soon became lost in more of his culprit-torturing thoughts as he made his way through the castle and didn't realise that by the time that they'd reached the Fat Lady, they'd been joined by Harry and Ginny. Ron muttered the password, his lack of enthusiasm for the weather had drawn a disapproving look from the Fat Lady as the door swung open to reveal the common room which was, fortunately, deserted. His gaggle of confused followers all began spewing questions as they came into the common room. Ron said nothing, again, he nodded at Hermione for her to follow him. Harry and Ginny exchanged grins as they had hoped that Hermione and Ron would finally get together.
"What is it, Ron?" Hermione asked him as he silently faced the mirror.
"Is it ok?"
"Is what ok?"
"The mirror." He replied. "There's nothing wrong with it, is there?"
Hermione stepped closer to the mirror and inspected it.
"The mirror is fine, Ron." Hermione sighed and stepped back, "is this what you asked me here for?"
Ron was silently contemplating once more.
"I didn't mean what I said last night, when we were all laughing and joking in the common room. I wasn't being serious!"
"Ron, tell me what is wrong with you!"
"I never wanted tits!" He shouted, spun round and ripped off the already tight shirt from his torso. Hermione could barely suppress the laughter that was threatening to erupt. Then, to Ron's horror, the door opened and Fred Weasley casually strolled in.
It took a few moments for Fred to register the fact that his youngest brother had somehow grown a pair of women's breasts. However, in no time, he promptly shouted from the doorway : "Oi, you lot! Ron's got tits!" Which had Harry, Ginny and George running up the stairs to get a peek for themselves and Ron looking extremely red-faced and fumbling to cover his modesty with his hands and the shreds of white shirt he'd torn in a fit of rage.
"I do not… appreciate… having my … you know… personal disfigurements… broadcasted across the common room!" Ron managed to say through clenched teeth.
"This is brilliant." George's voice could be heard as he came in the dormitory accompanied by Harry chuckling and Ginny's girlish laughter.
"I bet it was your doing! Wait until Mum finds out you've given me boobs!" Ron threatened.
Hermione's laughter was the first to subside to a large grin as she studied the extra lumps of flesh in detail.
"God, Ron," exclaimed Fred, "forget us sending you another toilet seat, we'll be sending one of mum's bras instead!" Ron's face roared a fiery shade of red as the comment brought another bout of laughter amongst the friends.
"It's all right, I'll close the door." Said Harry, "after all, we don't want it getting too nippy in here for you." he added.
"Why are yours bigger than mine?" The female Weasley asked.
"Ginny! Please, you're my sister!"
After a while, the raucous laughter came to an end, with the exception of a giggle from one of them as they studied Ron intently.
"I've got to say, mate. I'm proud of you. It's a fabulous pair you've got."
"You're not helping, George." Hermione berated and both of them smirked. "When did they, uh, start growing?"
"After I ate that chocolate frog from the Common Room." Ron looked as confused as the rest of them.
"Well, I suppose taking you to Madam Pomfrey is the next logical step…."
"I'm not exposing myself to, Madam Pomfrey!"
"Ron," began Ginny "worrying about showing your boobs to Madam Pomfrey shouldn't outweigh the fact that you've got a pair of boobs in the first place."
"She's got a point, mate, if she can regrow bones I'm sure she can shrink your boobs a couple of cup sizes." Harry chipped in.
"Yeah, George, what size do you think they are?" Fred asked.
"Hmm, easily a double D. I'm sure Lavender Brown would be glad to measure them for you, given the chance." George quipped and Ron looked far from impressed.
Hermione magically enlarged a clean shirt to accommodate Ron's new features and threw it over.
"Put that on and hurry up." She said in a tone that left little room for argument.
"Ron, I'm sure Hermione could enlarge one of her bras if it would make you feel more comfortable."
Hermione gave Fred a death glare, not bothering to reply to that comment.
The effort to conceal Ron as much as possible during the walk to the hospital wing had drawn its fair share of curious glances from the staff and pupils who were not outside enjoying the fine weather. Six students walking in a tight cluster with Ron in the middle did look a bit suspicious after all.
Madam Pomfrey looked at Ron's torso with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.
"How did you get into such a predicament, Mr. Weasley?"
"I'm not entirely sure. Well, I had a chocolate frog as a pre-breakfast snack, then, they just started growing!" He replied.
"And you didn't have these before?"
"I bloody did not!" This caused his friends to snigger from behind the curtain.
"I just had to check. It seems to me that this is the result of a breast enlargement charm, it's pretty simple to cure. I'm sure Professor Snape should be able to whip you up and antidote in no time."
"Oh, brilliant."
"However, you will need to go for it yourself because I have far too much to do here." Again, his friends sniggered at the thought of Ron asking Snape for an antidote to shrink his boobs.
"Just don't run there, Ron, or you'll get a black eye." Came George's voice.
Ron was about to retort when Madam Pomfrey gave him a stern look which made him reconsider. He huffed and buttoned up his shirt again.
Ron could only imagine the pleasure that these circumstances would bring Snape. How he would delight in tormenting him for months, perhaps years, to come. The friends moved along the halls of Hogwarts in their previous formation, garnering more suspicious looks from passers by. He was just thankful that they were clueless about the reason that they were walking as such.
"Just be thankful that we don't need to go into Hogsmeade for this antidote." Muttered Ginny.
"That was some chocolate frog…"
Snape's dungeon was as intimidating as ever, even more so when you had to ask the potion's master for an antidote for a personal, yet unnatural, problem. The group had made him go on his own at the risk of not witnessing his humiliation first-hand. Ron knocked loudly, hoping that once was enough for him to be heard. The door opened on it's own to reveal Snape at his desk marking papers.
"Weasley, to what do I owe this visit?" he said without looking up.
"I, uh, need help, Professor." Ron drew the woollen cardigan around him self-consciously as Snape eyed him curiously.
"Care to elaborate or are you going to have me guess your problem?"
"Well, I, uh… it's sort of personal you see, Professor." Ron's face was gradually turning a magnificent shade of crimson.
"Weasley, if your father has not told you the facts of life, it is not down to me to do so…"
Ron looked absolutely mortified as he stumbled over his words in a bid to say them as fast as he could.
"I, well, I'."
"Start that sentence again, and say it in English so us mere mortals can understand it, Weasley."
With a deep breath, Ron re-started.
"I've accidentally, well, drunk or ate some breast enlargement potion, and now, well, I need an antidote to get rid of them. Please?"
Ron could see the amusement dancing across Snape's features. He rose slowly from his desk as he made his way over to the quivering red-head.
"And tell me, Weasley, how did you come to ingest such a potion?" Snape was clearly enjoying terrorising him.
"I.. I… I don't know."
With a smirk on his face, he turned towards his chambers and vanished through the door in a regal fashion.
Ron had to wait the longest ten minutes of his life while his potion's master created his antidote. He never thought he'd be as thankful for Snape's existence. Snape returned moments later, his black cloak billowing around him as he came towards a terrified Ron once more and handed him a colourless liquid in a glass vial.
"Next time you seek me in search of an antidote to cure some more strange features that you've sprouted, I'll make you keep them." He said maliciously. Ron begrudgingly pocketed the vial and left the room, not forgetting to whisper a quick thank you before the door closed behind him.
Only when he was in the safe confines of the common room, did he remove the hideous cardigan and drink the potion given to him by Snape without hesitation. Then suddenly, his shirt felt far too big for him.
"I'm never having another chocolate frog."