Word from the Author: Right then. Though I've claimed Cwyatt incest here, it's really only by implication - though you don't have to read too hard to find it, so I guess it counts just fine. That said, on with the show!
Disclaimer: And, I still don't own Charmed. Or Chris or Wyatt. Or magic, even. Bummer, huh?
Replica
Chris sometimes wonders how he compares to the old him.
He imagines that his mum, his dad, his aunts, grandpa, all of them, must look at him as he is now and still see vestiges of a time gone by, no longer in existence, and yet still there, haunting all that he does, shadowing his every move.
He feels it most strongly when he hears, at times, his mother or father say, with such vivid certainty, "You know Chris would never do that."
Only, they're not really talking about him, they're not even thinking about him in the most hypothetical sense, use of the conditional withstanding. When they speak those words, what he hears is not his name, but that of the one that came before, the one who disappeared even as he himself was being born into this world.
Chris knows his dad mourns him still.
How does Chris know all this? Or even the fact that he-but-not-him once was? Well, even though such stories belong to a time before his own, his parents never once hesitated to tell him, or Wyatt for that matter, of the future that had been, of the future the other him had done everything in his power to change.
He hears such pride in their voices, and wonders if this is part of the great balance that must be upheld or else all would be lost.
It's unfair, really. That Wyatt had to be evil for there to be a world in which he was the son worth being proud of.
That's not to say that he wants such a world to exist, he just… can't help thinking about it, and everything it means. When he thinks about it, though he knows he shouldn't, all it does is make him doubt himself.
Because the worse thing about it all is the feeling that he'll never live up to what everyone expects of him, everyone that met the him from before, anyway. When they speak of that Chris, they tell tales of his bravery and his conviction, his determination not to let what came to pass in his timeline happen in this one, and they marvel, no, rejoice, at the fact that he succeeded. But not only that, they also speak of his loyalty and devotion. Of how the one thing he cared most about at all times was saving Wyatt.
Chris hates it when they talk about the other him in this last regard. Because out of any of those characteristics, that last one is the only one Chris knows he can live up to. That he has lived up to, and he thinks that they should realize this.
And so it hurts.
That they don't.
But such a pain has already dulled with time, having long dissipated into nothing more than an ache, flaring up on occasion, yes, but for the most part more like distant background noise than anything else; easily ignored when necessary.
Only, he thinks that maybe he shouldn't have to. And yet, there's nothing he can to do change how things are. He can live with it – apparently he's survived worse.
And that's another thing he hates – how they always talk about this Bianca and how much he must have loved her, despite all that happened, how tragic her death was and how painful it must have been. He detests their incessant attempts to match-make him, a strange rationale but one they feel justified in, as if they are compelled to somehow replace her, regardless of the fact that he never lost her in the first place.
He hates the assumption that they've made – that he even likes girls.
Given that Chris knows all about the other timeline, he also knows that the other Chris never had to grow up surrounded by Halliwell females that were his age, a multitude of cousins not all that different from their mothers.
Chris is sure it's enough to scare any boy off women, permanently. As a guy, he considers the amount of female angst that he has to deal with as being so far beyond what any man should ever have to endure, even without adding his own involvement with such beings to this already volatile mix.
And even though Chris has never told anyone any of these things, there is still one person who knows them all.
That person is, of course, Wyatt – because out of everyone, Wyatt sees Chris most clearly. It's only part of why Chris loves him so.
Even when they bicker, it's just another facet of who they are; to squabble and taunt and tease as much a part of them as loving one another as fiercely as they possibly can.
Wyatt is Chris' cornerstone. He is at the heart of everything that Chris is. Or perhaps it would be more precise to simply say, he is Chris' heart. Because you can't live without your heart and Chris sure as hell can't live without Wyatt. It scares him a bit, this thought, that and the fact that, as far as Chris can tell, it's exactly the same for Wyatt. And yet, he wouldn't have it any other way.
If he were honest with himself, Chris supposes he would be willing to forgive the other Chris everything, if only because it's thanks to the other him that Chris now has all that he does.
And seeing how Wyatt is his everything, Chris knows he really shouldn't complain.
All things considered, he likes to think that if he had been in the other Chris' position, he would have done the same; anything and everything in his power to stop Wyatt from changing, from being less than he was meant to be.
It's certainly a nice thought; that maybe they're not so different, after all.
Finis.
Another Word from the Author: Whee! Another, another! ...Yeah. So I've been in this crazy writing mood lately. I think it's a procrastinatory defence mechanism against actual work - the best one, in fact, because at the end of it, you do feel rather accomplished. XD Anyhow, let me know what you thought, yeah? Always much appreciated!
So, once again, until next time,
Kamikumai.