One of those tumblr prompt things again. This was actually the first one I wrote for that series of asks and I just forgot to put it here after deciding to put the others (and I still have one or two left to write).

Again, this is about Jane's miscarriage after it happens, so don't read if that makes you too sad. :-(

"Maura, you awake?" Jane whispered tentatively.

No response from the sleeping woman beside her, who was curled into a fetal position facing away. They were only an inch or two apart.

The soft blue glow of the alarm clock on the nightstand was the only light in the room.

"It's probably better you're not awake then," Jane continued in a whisper. "Right now I think I can only say this in the dark, even better if you aren't hearing it."

Still no movement or sound.

"I'm sorry," the brunette said. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect the baby. I'm sorry that what I did took this away from you. You were so excited about it. You pumped me full of prenatal vitamins, chastised me when I tried to eat bad things. You went with me to my first doctor's visit. You did everything right and you took care of me and this baby way better than I ever could have."

Hot wetness prickled Jane's eyes and she squeezed them shut, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "It was me. I screwed this up. I was trying to be so careful, for the baby, for you, for me, and I know I saved Tasha. I just…I wish I'd been able to think of a better way to save us all. I had to sacrifice what was probably my only chance to become a mother to save her and myself. I'm not sorry I did my job. I could never be sorry about that. But I still…"

Tears slipped down Jane's face and a few trickled onto her ears, the wetness cold to them. She tried to sniffle as quietly as possible.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't do it. I wanted to. With the way everything was going…" Jane paused and took a deep breath. "It just seemed like it'd be you and me raising the baby and I loved that. I don't think I would've wanted to with anyone else. I don't think I could have done it with anyone else."

Jane bit her trembling lip hard, trying to calm the emotional storm inside. "I'm sorry I took all of that away from you." She hiccupped silently. "I'm so sorry." Arms lifted, fingers brushing away the tears, then returned to her sides.

The bed shifted slightly beside her and Jane stiffened, holding her breath.

"Jane," Maura said softly before she turned over completely to face her best friend, even though they couldn't see each other.

Letting out a quiet, mirthless laugh, Jane said, "How much of that did you hear?"

"I woke up when you mentioned your first doctor's visit."

"And you let me keep going?"

Maura reached blindly down the bed and put her hand on top of Jane's. "Because you needed to get that out. It's the first time you've said anything about it since the hospital a week ago."

Turning over her hand, Jane linked her fingers with the blonde's. "I'm sorry," she hiccupped.

"You don't have to apologize for anything."

"I didn't–"

"You did what you were supposed to do, Jane. And it's okay," Maura said. "I am sad about you losing the baby. I can't lie. But you're still here with me and that means more to me than anything."

Silence for several moments.

Then Jane turned over to face Maura, pressing her forehead against Maura's upper arm and sucking in a deep breath as she wrapped her left arm around Maura's midsection.

Maura swallowed hard. "I love you."

The grieving woman dissolved into tears.

Let me know what you think. I don't write sad stuff very often, so I like feedback for things I don't usually write.