AN: This was inspired by a group of fics on adultfanfiction that were inspired by that series of signatures that details stories of the hardships faced by homosexuals and their loved ones. Being in a particularly angsty mood after reading them this one in particular pulled at me, and being a ShinoKiba shipper, this happened, and then a second chapter happened, too. Props to the one who started it on adultfanfiction though. Also beware of ANGST OVERLOAD. Just a warning.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother through the painful, tear-filled nights.
"Oh god I can't do this…"
You had never imagined that your adorably uncouth little brother was anything but an average, spirited young boy who hung out with his friends, messed around, and wrestled with his dog in his free time.
You had never imagined that the way he looked at his friends was anything but relaxed and slightly protective, just like anyone else.
You had never imagined that the cocky, devil may care attitude was anything but him being the spoiled youngest child that he was.
You had never imagined that he was different until you found him collapsed at the front door, shaking and sobbing and screaming it in your face, clinging to his dog like it would be his savior.
You had never imagined that Kiba was gay, but that didn't stop you from holding him in your arms and trying to tell him that it was okay.
"Shh, Kiba, it's alright—"
"It's not! It's not! Oh god I'm such a freak. I can't take this anymore Hana!"
It's not that you're some naturally saintly, accepting individual. You can't lie to yourself and say you had a feeling all along. You can't even say you're truly and honestly, 100% comfortable with the idea.
You never imagined that Kiba was gay, but Kiba is still Kiba and your adorably uncouth little brother that you love to pieces and god help you if you're not going to do everything in your power to make him happy.
"Don't you dare say that Kiba! You're not a freak! Pull yourself together!"
"That's just it Hana! I can't! I can't pretend like this anymore! It's too painful and too hard and he just doesn't give a fuck! He never has and he never will and—"
Two years he tells you.
Two years.
Twenty-four months.
One hundred and six weeks. Seven hundred and thirty days. Seventeen thousand five hundred twenty hours. One-million-fifty-one-thousand-two-hundred-minutes-Sixtythreemillionseventytwothousandseconds—
For two years Kiba has been hiding the fact. For two years he shouldered the guilt and the self-doubt and misery and you never had a clue. For two years his only consolation was Akamaru's inquisitively concerned whines and unwavering companionship. For two years you've been the worst possible big sister that you could ever imagine and you didn't even know it.
You never imagined that Kiba was gay, but that doesn't keep you from wanting to make up for lost time.
"—god just kill me now! Put me out of my misery! I've had enough! I'm just a worthless, fucked-up faggot—!"
"KIBA!! So help me god I will never hear those words from your mouth ever again, do you understand me!? No matter what you do, no matter what you say, and certainly no matter who you choose to love will ever make you any less of a person. Do you hear me Kiba!? Never again!! Now get a hold of yourself!"
Two years worth of tears are shed into your lap that night. The despair, terror, and hurt built up from two years of living a lie was entrusted to you with the last of the hope he had left.
You never imagined that Kiba was gay, but that doesn't make it any easier when you realize there's nothing you can do but hold him while he cries.