Thriller bark's aftermath.
That idiotic Marimo, what the hell had got into him?
He just kept working out harder and harder all day, everyday, he barely poked his nose out of the gym. He was starting to miss lunch nearly everyday, since he would only stop training at sunset, when the sun would slowly drown into the sea, making it look like a pool of blood.
Ah, blood.
I've never had a problem with it, otherwise I couldn't be a pirate, left alone a cook!
But that day...
There was so much blood, that day, I don't think I've ever seen that much all at the same time in my whole life.
Another morning, the sun hadn't even completely rose and Zoro had already made his way to the gym, walking through my kitchen.
"Oi, oi... You going training, already?" I asked while I was putting up some coffee for breakfast, I didn't even bother turning around to look at him, of course.
"Aye." was the only answer I got from him. Of course, the swordsman was a man of few words, mostly, but especially with me.
"Have something for breakfast, at least. It's not good to work out on an empty stomach, you should know that." I said as I slipped the butt of a cigarette between my thin lips.
"Mind your own business, cook."
I could hear him scratch the back of his head, something that he was pretty used to do, and then he yawned like a hippo.
"Whatever." I bent over to light up my cigarette on the stove, taking a couple puffs of tobacco.
Zoro opened the door and stepped out before he shut it behind his back, a little too hard. I smirked, knowing that I had annoyed him, it was part of my daily routine to tease that stupid moss head.
Still I was concerned about him, he was being too hard on himself and was acting weirder than normal. Plus I knew – and of course Chopper knew, too – that his wounds hadn't completely healed, but he was too stubborn to let our doctor cure him properly, he would get bored and annoyed of having to rest and not move for a while.
But it wasn't just that, things had got slightly awkward between the two of us, after he faced that Shichibukai bastard. I was the only one who knew what had happened – Well, apart from Brook, of course – and we both knew that we weren't going to tell anybody about it, it needed to be kept a secret, it was a matter of honor... And maybe something else, too.
He had stood up for his captain, his whole crew, and he did that because he was definitely sure that he was going to survive Kuma's attack, underestimating his opponent too much. I knew he would have died, he was in such a bad shape that I was sure that he was just going to kill himself. I couldn't allow it, I've always hated how reckless he could get, he always took his life too lightly, it was like what had happened with Mihawk all over again.
So I got up, despise the fact that I could barely stand, shaking from the great amount of pain I was suffering, and got in his way, thing that he always hated with a passion.
No one should ever get in Marimo's way.
I wanted to save him, I wanted him to keep on living and achieve his life goal, being the best swordsman in the whole world. He's going to make it, eventually, in my eyes he already is, especially for his strong will and pride alone, but I'm never going to say it out loud. He deserved to live in order to fulfill his dream and the promise he had made to his dear Kuina, years ago, this is why I was ready to die in his place.
I've always been a reckless guy, just not the suicidal kind like Zoro, anyway, but that day I was seriously determined to just give up on everything to save him.
My brain doesn't know why, but my heart does.
He didn't let me, of course, he knocked me out, but I'll never know for whose sake he did it.
I can't stop wondering about it, every single day, and sometimes even at night, before I can actually fall asleep. My eyes wander around the bedroom and never casually end up on his sleepy green head. I try to read his mind, it's stupid I know, but I just can't help it.
Lunchtime.
Zoro hadn't showed up, of course, no one except Chopper was as worried as I was.
"Sanji-kun! May I have some more soy sauce on my takoyaki?" our navigator had to ask me twice for her extra sauce, because I kept spacing out and getting lost in thought.
"Sanji-kun?" Nami bat her lashes and then cocked a brow.
"Oi, cook-san! You with us?" Franky asked, nudging me.
I jumped, nearly dropping the soy sauce on the floor, so I kicked it up and grabbed it again.
"Shitty cyborg! Quit startling me or I'll kick your ass!" I growled a few inches away from his face.
"Easy, bro! You keep spacing out, Nami-san was asking for more soy sauce and you didn't even hear her!" the cyborg rolled his eyes and shook his head, downing a big swig of cola from the glass bottle he was holding.
I widened my eyes, glancing from the shipwright to our beautiful navigator with my cigarette nearly slipping off my lips.
"I-I... I'm sorry Nami-san! Here you go!" I smiled brightly and poured some soy sauce over her food.
"It's okay, Sanji-kun." she said with a small smile, then glanced over at Robin.
"Are you sure you're okay, cook-san?" the brunette's voice sounded inquiring, but her eyes looked detached as usual.
"S-sure! I'm brilliant!" I tried to look as convincing as I could, but then I looked over at Chopper, who probably knew what I was worried about.
The blue nosed reindeer furrowed his brows, and when he gave me a small nod of the head I knew what I had to do.
"My apologies, but I gotta... Well I'm gonna bring some food to that shitty Marimo, he needs to put something in that stomach of his." I nearly muttered as I filled a couple dishes with food, placing one on my forearm and the other one in my hand, so that I could hold a bottle of the finest sake with the free one. I left the dining room, not really caring about the weird looks that everyone shot me, and made my way upstairs to the gym. It wasn't exactly an easy task to climb up that damn ladder, so I actually had to hold one of the dishes with my teeth. As I approached him, I could hear the swordsman's heavy breathing and the clanging of his weights.
"Oi, shitty moss head. I brought you lunch." I announced when I finally stepped into the gym.
He didn't even look at me, not that I was expecting him to. I wrinkled my nose, because that place stank like sweat and fug, he barely left that place and he probably had never even opened the windows.
"I didn't ask you for any, I can't waste my time on food, right now. I'll eat at dinner." he said as he lifted God only knows how many tons on his barbell.
I rolled my eyes and set the dishes and the bottle on a pile of huge weights. I sunk a hand into the pocket of my tight trousers only to pull out a crinkled cigarette and a lighter.
"You need to eat, or else you're gonna die of starvation. Isn't that a stupid way to die for a swordsman?" I arched my curled brow, trying to hit a weak spot, right before I lit up the fag.
"If I died for such a thing, then it means that I'd deserve to. I'm too weak, anyways... So." he threw the barbell in the air only to do a handstand and began lifting the weights with his legs.
"What kind of fucking stupid answer is that?" I growled as I stuck my hands into my pockets.
"You're a cook, you can't understand this." he muttered as he kept working out, still not looking at me.
"Look, you did all you could do, back there. It was more than enough. You're lucky to even be alive!" I knew I shouldn't have said that, but I couldn't help myself.
Zoro flared his nostrils and dropped the huge barbell that made an earsplitting noise as it hit the ground. He got back on his feet and walked up to me, his tanned hand fisted at collar of my hoodie pulling me only a few inches away from his face. I clenched my jaw, with my hands still stuffed in my pockets and the cigarette between my lips.
"That wasn't enough! I should have beaten that fucking bastard!" he really nearly sounded like a roaring tiger, but I was used to his fury so I didn't even flinch.
My eyes, though, were inexplicably caught by a couple drops of sweat that rolled down the tip of his nose, ran down his lips and fell off his chin. It made me gulp and once again I was totally unfocused, just like in the kitchen.
"Oi, look at me in the eyes when I talk to you!" Zoro woke me up from that daydream with his gruff voice.
My eyes snapped up and stared at Zoro's.
"You saved us. You saved me. You should be happy that you survived that kind of power." I said slowly, moving the cigarette away from my lips and exhaling the smoke into his face.
He let go of me immediately, pushing me away slightly and then fanning the smoke away with his hand.
"Fucking disgusting smoke. I didn't save you so that you could kill yourself with cigarettes."
I widened my eyes and Zoro did too, before he turned around and grabbed the barbell again.
"So you actually saved me? Why?" I licked my lips and decided to just put out the cigarette, dropping it on the floor and stepping on it. I was gonna clean that up, eventually.
"I didn't do it for you, I did it because I already had decided to face him, you just got in my way." he began to lift the huge weights all over again.
"Right." the answer made me light up a new cigarette.
"Do not smoke while I'm working out." he said slowly.
I exhaled some smoke through my nostrils and briefly chewed on my lower lip while I was scanning the swordsman's body, mentally counting the ridiculous amount of scars that grazed his skin.
"If you'd let me take your place, that day, you wouldn't be injured, still." I was still teasing him, I was going to be happy only when he was going to burst.
"And you would have been watching the roots of the flowers from underneath the soil." he muttered, he was tired but he wasn't going to admit it.
I laughed at his joke and looked down at the floor.
"Why do you care? You would have finally got rid of my annoying presence." I shrugged as I took a large drag of tobacco.
Zoro hesitated for a moment, I could have sworn that I had seen him stop his training for some moments, maybe to think about a good answer, or just to think about how life would have been without me.
"We need to eat, you're our cook."
What a smart answer!
"You could easily find another one." I huffed, not exactly amused.
The earsplitting noise from before broke the swordsman's silence, startling me so bad that I took a step back.
Zoro turned around, furious, and pinned me to the nearest wall making me gasp as I secured the butt of the cigarette between my teeth.
"You say I am the reckless one, you say I am the one who should value himself more." I saw his pink tongue poking out of his chapped lips only to moisten them. "Truth is that you should value yourself more, too." his nostrils flared at the same time that my eyes widened
"W-what?"
"Don't give me the find-another-cook crap, you're our friend, you're our nakama." he shook his head slightly "You're our family."
My knees shook, ready to give out, but Zoro's strong hands kept me from falling to the ground. Never in my life I thought that I could hear the swordsman speak such words, not about me at least.
I wasn't answering yet, so he just went on "Do you know how much pain your loss could cause?"
No, I didn't.
"Do you know how much our nakamas would mourn and grieve over your death?"
No, I really did not know.
For some reasons sometimes I felt like I was just the cook.
Especially to Zoro.
I shook my head slightly as my gaze slowly moved away from his deep, dark eyes. I still could feel them burn against my skin as he kept staring at me, making me feel slightly uncomfortable.
Then the swordsman's voice lowered and softened in order to pronounce the last sentence "Do you realize that no one would ever mourn and grieve over your demise as much as I would?"
My eyes snapped back to lock with Zoro's and automatically filled with tears. I bit my inner lip as I tried not to break down crying as I completely lost all the strength in my legs. I began to slide down the wall as my knees bent and warm, salty drops started running down my cheeks.
"O-oi..." Zoro's sharp eyebrows furrowed as he idly tried to keep me up. He wasn't expecting me to react that way, of course, but I wasn't expecting him to make such a confession, either.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" my voice came out as a whisper, my lips quivered and I could barely hold the cancer stick between them. I still wasn't looking at my nakama.
Zoro squatted and roughly ripped away the cigarette from my lips, putting it out and forcing me to look at him by holding my chin up.
"Look at me."
I ground my teeth and slowly rose my gaze to look at the swordsman in the eyes.
"You're just saying that." I scoffed and ran my tongue over my lower lip. My eyes quickly wandered across the crow's nest just so I didn't have to directly stare into those eyes. They made me feel exposed, naked, and I didn't like it.
A scoff and then the tingling sound of Zoro's earrings when he shook his head really made me want to look at him, but I shut my eyes instead.
"I'm not just saying that. I mean every single thing I said." his voice was so calm and gentle that I was starting to think that maybe some kind of supernatural being had possessed him.
"Who are you, and what did you do to the stupid Marimo?" I asked as I gave in and finally stared back into Zoro's eyes.
He looked confused for a few moments, he even furrowed his brows but then just rolled his eyes "Shut it, Swirly Brow."
A small smirk curved my lips as I let out a relieved sigh.
"Quit putting everyone else's needs and dreams before you and your dream. We're all equally important and so are our aspirations."
His words made me shiver and bite my inner cheek.
"I could say the same about you..." I muttered as my eyes casually wandered over my lap.
"I was protecting my nakamas, I was protecting every single one of you, because I was the last one standing." his nostrils enlarged imperceptibly as the memories of that day snapped back into his mind.
I could see it, I could almost touch it, all that pain made his eyes look horribly empty. That sight made my heart ache.
"I... Only wanted to save you. B-because you need to achieve your goal." I failed at keeping a straight voice, but I didn't notice how wet my cheeks were from all the tears.
"You need to achieve yours, too. All Blue, I want you to find it."
Of course, that was the most obvious thing to say.
"I couldn't bear to find that sea without you teasing me about it by my side."
I couldn't even recognize my own voice in that moment, it sounded like someone else had said those words.
Zoro's jaw dropped slightly, making him unable to form any sentence.
"...I shouldn't have said that. Forget it." I shook my head and tried to brace myself on my hands to get back up.
It was in that instant that the swordsman's hands firmly pinned me against the wall all over again and covered my soft lips with his.
I froze. My eyes widened as I stared at Zoro's eyelids. His rough, chapped lips were still pressed against mine and I couldn't quite wrap my mind around the fact that it wasn't a dream.
I slowly let my eyes fall shut as my lips finally moved against Zoro's, responding to the kiss.
It felt like we kissed for a whole year, none of us was willing to give up and pull back to fill our lungs with air even though we both needed it. We kept sucking, biting, kissing and licking each others' lips until I gave up and pulled back, bumping the back of my head against the wall.
"Ow..." I breathed out, making the swordsman smile slightly.
That was the first smile that had curled Zoro's lips in a long time and I was damn proud to be the reason for it. I tried to smile myself, in an idly attempt to choke back the tears that were fighting so hard to come out and eventually gave in to them.
"Don't." Zoro shook his head and let go of my right hand to wipe my tears away "Don't cry again." he stared at me concerned.
"You're an asshole. What if you died back there?! Do you think I would have been happy?" I barked suddenly, much to the swordsman's surprise.
"You would have lived, still and-" Zoro made an attempt to answer, but I went on.
"There's no... Shitty happiness for me, if you get killed, alright? No goddamned happy ending." I sobbed, staring into the swordsman's shocked gaze. I would have kept on ranting for hours if Zoro's hands wouldn't have cupped my cheeks, making me freeze as he scowled slightly.
"Stop it, I'm here. We're both here, no one died and I'll make sure that none of us is ever going to get killed. I'll get stronger." he nodded then raised his brows "You'll have to get stronger, too." he added, his thumb wiping away another stray tear from my cheek.
"Alright..." I breathed out, a shiver slightly rocking my body as I nodded slowly, agreeing with Zoro's words.
"We'll be fine." he reassured me once again.
I nodded one more time in response and wrapped my arms around Zoro's neck, pressing my forehead against his chin.
"You idiot..." he hummed into my golden hair.
"You bastard." I muttered under my breath, relaxing completely into his arms.
We kept quiet, not even shifting from that position.
"You need to eat." I croaked, breaking the silence.
Zoro reared back and I did the same, blinking my eyes open as I woke up from that odd slumber "Then come here..." his lips stretched into a smirk as he grabbed my chin.
"Since when am I food?" I scowled, pouting slightly as I teased him.
"Actually... We both happen to be quite edible, you should know that. You're a cook." the swordsman pointed out with a cocked brow.
"Spare me the lesson on nourishment." I rolled my eyes.
"You cannot force me to say things that I'm too prideful to say." he just shrugged, his thumb stroking my slightly hairy chin softly.
"Fuck your pride, it nearly killed you." I scoffed.
"But still it saved you."
"Oh good God, quit being a smart ass!"
Zoro pulled me into a kiss, I don't know if it was only to shut me up or to let me know how he really felt about me... Either ways it worked perfectly.
"I love you." my eyes dropped shut as I hummed my feelings against his lips. I felt them curl into a smile, and I'm pretty sure that what he whispered in return were the words "So do I." but of course he was too prideful to openly admit that yes, he loved me.