So...I'm not exactly sure what a crack fic is but if I had to compare this to anything..I imagine it would be that. I wrote this on one hours sleep.
Warning: This contains some bad language and mentions of rape.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with WWE or Silent hill.
Onwards! Please read and review, if that's even possible.
Justin Gabriel was walking down a windy street. The street stretched for miles. From where he was standing, you couldn't see an end on either side. Trees lined the entire street almost like a cave but without the roof. So was it really even a cave if it didn't have a roof?
With no form of communication and plenty of time to waste, Justin decided to kick a stick that was on the ground. His boot hit the stick and to his surprise, a deep voice screeched angrily. "Hey mother fucker..what do you think you're doing!" Justin looked down at the stick. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me bitch."
Justin stared at the inanimate object before quickly scuttling away. "That was weird.."
"You think that's weird, try sleeping with Mrs Claus and Rudolph at the same time." Justin turned around. "Santa?"
"No you dumbass! It's me! Wade!" Wade pulled off a Santa hat. "Damn, I turned that bitch into a ho ho ho."
Justin looked wearingly at his friend. "Uhhh..."
His eyes widened as his friend Wade fell to the floor, a candy cane sticking out of his chest and glitter shooting out around it. He was dead.
"Noooooooo!" Justin got down on the floor and put his fists in the air. "Why? WHY I ASK!"
A muffled laugh could be heard from behind him. A stickman with a machine gun? Before Justin could ask the stickman questions, he loaded his gun with candy canes and started shooting them to elves.
"Where the hell did the elves come from?" Justin asked out loud.
"Wade set us freeeeee!" An elf pranced victoriously around Justin. "We spent years being abused by that mean, mean man." The elf cackled and continued off with his friend.
"What the fuck is going on?"
A siren started going off..The same one as from the silent hill movie.. Everything started running off into the forest. Even the stick, and the stickman. They knew what was coming..The darkness.
Soon enough, the darkness had engulfed Justin. Wades body lay on the concrete. Some strange life form with no arms started making it's way over to Justin. It had a straight jacket made from it's own flesh...
"I can not leave Wade here all alone!" He grabbed Wade's arms and began to drag him. Justin, not having very good navigational skills, accidently dragged Wade's body closer towards the monster.
"Oh shit..Umm Nice little monster.." It squealed at him in reply before spitting some acid. Narrowly missing the acid, Justin quickly turned around to drag Wades body the other way. Justin started laughing mockingly at the monster.
It may have had no arms, but that didn't mean it had to walk like it had one leg shorter than the other.
Justin was interrupted by a strange jabbing in his back. Slowly he turned around. It was Pyramid head..The one that rapes mannequins with his pyramid head..hence the name pyramid head..
"Oh my god! Mr Pyramid head sir! I am your biggest fan!" Pyramid head looked at the man in front of him. Way too excited for someone who was about to get raped.
"Arghghhg" was all he replied with. Justin grabbed a notebook and pen out of his jacket pocket. "Please can i have your autograph?"
"Gyghgghj." Translation: I'm going to rape you now.
"Yes! I would love a picture with you!" He took a camera out of his pocket. Justin stood next to Pyramid head smiling widely. He was about to take the picture but Pyramid head smacked the camera away.
"ARGTGTGH!"
"Oh..Camera shy are we?" Monsters had gathered around watching the situation unfold with Justin and Pyramid Head.
"Mr Pyramid head sir! I have so many questions I want to ask you!"
"GTGARA ARGDRG!" Justin took that as 'Fire away' when in reality it meant 'fuck up and co-operate'.
"Okay! First, Why do you rape mannequins?" Justin stared at Pyramid head inquisitively.
For the first time, Pyramid head spoke english...or at least tried. "Iay..goeng..reap..uoo."
"You're what? I thought we were friends!" Justin broke down and started crying.
Pyramid head had finally looked down to see Justin holding what looked like..a mannequin.
"Oh god! I don't want to be raped! I'm too pretty!" Justin was still blubbering on the ground.
"Wahett..ess...thaht?"
Justin looked at the lifeless body. "Just my friend Wade. I loved him so much! I would have saved him! but it was too late..."
"Geev..tuh..meh..ahnnd..uoo..beh..freeeee."
"Take him!" Justin threw Wade at Pyramid Head and fled for his life, making sure to yell out "I still love and obsess over you" as he ran.
The darkness went away and light was restored. Justin wasn't going to take any chances though..he continued to run. He ran for what seemed like hours, but in actuality, it had only been 13 seconds.
All of a sudden..there was no more road..It was..gone. He stopped and looked into the distance. There was more road. The problem was jumping far enough to reach it.
He went back and ran as fast as he could before attempting to jump across. As he was in the air, it looked like he was going to succeed, until he felt himself dropping. Dropping to the death that surely awaited him.
So, maybe Justin misjudged the jump by about 18 meters, but he would still die having accomplished his lifelong dream. Meeting Pyramid Head.
1 minute, 23 seconds later. Was there no end to this damn hole? "Let me die already!" Justin yelled angrily.
"Why would I let you die? Justin? Hello? Wake up! JUSTIN!"
Justin opened his eye's. Wade's eye was directly in front of his own. He shot back startled. "Woah man! What are you doing?"
"Waking you up." Wade replied innocently. "I think you were having a bad dream.."
Justin looked back at Wade cautiously. "Oh right..Yeah.."
He thought about his dream. He shivered, remembering that he had thoughtlessly given Wade's body to Pyramid head. How was he going to look Wade in the eye now?
"So what was so bad about your dream anyway?" Wade asked curiously.
"Uh...I ah...I got to meet my idol..." Justin couldn't help but think about what he'd done to his best friend.
"That doesn't sound bad.."
"The bad part was that you got to meet him too."
Wade, clearly confused, gave up on figuring out Justin's dream. "Whatever man, if that's your idea of bad, I'd hate to see what happens if you ever have a dream about rape or murder or something."
Justin's eye's widened. Both of those things were in his dream. "Hahahahaha! Yeah, you're probably right, do you want some tea, maybe I could make you some tea, you like tea right?"
Wade raised his eyebrow. "No thanks...I'll just be going now..."
Sighing in relief, Justin watched as Wade left the room.
He was continuing to muse over his dream when he realized something. "Oh my gosh! Me and Pyramid head both speak english as a second language! We could be brothers!"
Justin grabbed his laptop and quickly logged on to all of the social networking sites he knew. "Wait until the fan club hears about this!
So there you have it people. The crazy tale of Justin Gabriel and Pyramid head.
Justin has some pretty stuffed up dreams aye? xD
I couldn't end this with Justin dying and Wade being in the hands of Pyramid head.
Anyway, Please read and review! :)