Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
A phrase used to comfort some people. A reminder that physical pain is worse than verbal abuse. Also a lie. You have never found solace in this lie. Strange, considering how much you lie to yourself. But sometimes lies are the only things keeping Karkat Vantas alive.
You'll stay alive. They won't find you. You're stronger, better, smarter. You'll survive, no matter what. You'll be okay.
They used to convince you, comfort you. False promises that you would live, you would.
Sometimes, you just wanted it to stop. Let them find you. Anything to escape another day of dodging Terezi's questions about your blood, listening to Vriska's complaints about her own. They had it so easy, if only they knew. But you know what would happen if they did. None of them would stand by you.
And why would they? Why would anyone? This was what it always came down to. That you were just a useless, worthless, piece of shit mutant, incapable of loving or being loved by anyone, ever. That it would be better if you just snuffed it, so the universe could just breathe a huge sigh of relief and continue without the miserable waste of your existence. That no one would miss you if you died, they would hate you and curse you and your mutation. And you couldn't blame them.
You used to tell yourself that it was just a game. That there was a way out and a happy ending. But lately, you've realized that you're not going to make it. It's only a matter of time.
You dream about it sometimes. They find you and kill you in horrible, painful ways. They torture you and laugh as you scream. They call you awful things, but nothing they could ever say compares to how much you hate yourself. You are nothing but a horror, an abomination. You tell yourself every day. Your own words are slowly tearing you apart; your sanity is slowly crumbling into the smothering abyss of your self-hatred. Your words are hurting you worse than any pain you have ever known.
Sticks and stones would be easier to bear.