Beware: this story isn't a slash, but it will be one day. With love,

~Cara Lea

"Look at the state of you!" Prowl's usually smooth voice cracked as he continued on with his ranting. "Ratchet has been working on you for at least a Groon and you're not looking any better!"

An Autobot fighting party had been sent out earlier that day to respond to Decepticon activity. Although they had succeeded in stopping their raging enemies from getting the most recent power source (a new "wind" farm the humans had invented), it had been a bloody battle. The fighting force sent out had limped home for repairs. Brawn had gone on the fighting force, and thank you Primus above hadn't been too severely damaged. Unfortunately, that meant he had to wait for some of the more critical injuries to be fixed up, which meant he had to listen to Prowl's rant.

Everyone knew that it was only out of concern that Prowl would reprimand a fellow bot for getting injured. In fact, there were only two bots in the entire fleet that Prowl would be this upset over. Optimus Prime, of course, was the first one. No one liked to think of the Autobot's chances of winning the war if their own heroic leader were to be murdered by the enemy. The other warrior that Prowl ever got this upset over was Jazz. It was no secret that the two were very close. Brawn suspected that they were bondmates, which meant that if Jazz ever got seriously injured in battle, Prowl was bound to feel it.

It was great and all, that Prowl and Jazz were so happy together, but Prowl's insistent fussing over his mate's wounds had long since passed necessity. It was obvious that the cool musician was going to make a full recovery. Ratchet had not yet failed to save a patient, and Jazz was not to be an exception.

He wasn't even that badly hurt, Brawn thought angrily to himself. And why doesn't he shut Prowl up? Jazz wasn't even making any attempts at calming his enraged bondmate down. He was just watching the other with his blue visor, not even speaking out. This was a warrior's job, for Primus's sake! They were meant to be thrown in the line of battle and to use any means necessary to take down the enemy. Prowl was primary tactician. Surely he realized when he'd sent Jazz into the fray that he might come out in a worse state.

"Calm down, Prowl," spoke a soothingly familiar voice. Windcharger entered the medical bay with a light smile on his face. "I'm sure that if Jazz were in any serious danger, Ratchet would have let you know by now."

Prowl bristled at the magnetic bot's relaxed face. "He's always in danger! Until the Decepticons are done for, we all are!"

Windcharger shrugged. "We were all in danger from the moment Primus created Megatron and his fleet. We all knew what we were signing up for when we joined Prime. So please, don't scream your aft off. I'm sure Jazz will recover just fine."

"No I won't," Jazz said suddenly from the table. "I'm sure that when I'm all nice and healed- thank you Ratchet –Prowl'll just kick my butt right back into the repair bay."

Everyone laughed except Brawn, who leaned back sourly in his chair. Prowl leaned over Jazz and took the latter's hand. "I couldn't beat your butt anywhere."

"That's cause I'm the better half."

Even Prowl laughed at that one. Brawn, however, was not to be amused. "Speaking of better halves," Windcharger's light voice spoke beside him. "How are you, Brawn?"

The yellow and green transformer snorted. "I've been better. Still waiting for my chronometer to be fixed. How long have I sat here listening to Prowl rant?"

Prowl smirked horribly. "Probably a breem."

Brawn sniffed, "Well, that's a breem of my life wasted. I would just love to be fixed so I can get on with it."

Prowl glanced down at Jazz, and Brawn hated the look in his optics. He looked to Windcharger, hoping his comrade shared his frustration. Instead, he was surprised to see a similar look in Windcharger's eye. He chose to ignore it. "When my communicator is done, do you want to go see what Prime thinks the Decepticons'll do next?"

The red bot shrugged. "I was actually hoping we could, ya know, relax." The other mechs in the room began to laugh, slow at first but it builds. It always did. Brawn did not miss that his red companion was not quite looking at him. He looked around and noticed that Prowl was smirking again, and Jazz was sniggering behind his mate's arm. Irritated, Brawn spoke up.

"What are you all laughing at?"

"Oh Brawn," Bumblebee (who was also waiting for repairs) giggled. "I didn't know that you could relax."

"Yeah," Prowl chuckled. "Perhaps Windcharger could show you how."

Brawn glanced in confusion at his comrade. He was surprised at his friends glowing blue optics as heat flushed through them. The humans reacted similarly, though it was usually their skin that changed color, not their eyes. They called it blushing.

"Aww, look at them," Jazz crooned from his place on the table. "I don't think I've ever seen a bot looked so embarrassed."

"Stop picking on them," Ratchet snapped briskly. "Or I'll have to repair Windcharger too, and I have enough charges to be going with!"

But Brawn had finally caught on to what the others were laughing at, and he did not like it. He did not like it at all. Standing up fluidly, he tried to speak with a business manner. It would not at all do to let the others know just how upset he felt. "I think I'll be getting Perceptor to do my repairs, if we're going to be taking so long."

The others stopped laughing immediately. With the rocky relationship that Perceptor and Brawn had had in the past, it was not at all out of the ordinary they were so surprised. Brawn glanced down once again at his red companion. He tried to ignore the hurt look on his friend's face.

"Oh relax, Brawn," Prowl's stern voice sounded after a moment. "We were just kidding."

"Yeah," Bumblebee added. "What's your problem?"

Brawn trembled with slight rage. "My chronometer! I want it fixed. You all are taking so long I'm not sure if I'll ever know the time again. Now if you're quite finished!"

With those words (and still trying very hard to ignore Windcharger), the four-wheeler-transformer stomped out of the medical bay. He tried to imagine Perceptor's face when he stormed in and demanded repairs. Deciding that it wasn't a good idea after all, and knowing that Ratchet would probably fix him up later anyway, Brawn changed course. He left the Ark entirely and glared up at the hot sun. It wasn't the sun's fault, but that didn't make Brawn smile at it.

If he was being at all honest with himself, he would admit that the conversation had feared him. His hate for everything cowardly about himself prevented him from coming to that realization. He began to climb the vast volcano that they had long ago crashed into. It was a way to work out his frustration, a place to vent. There were not a lot of things Brawn wasn't strong enough to handle. His fear of the direction that conversation had taken was one of them.

Before too long, he found himself sitting on an outcrop in the side of Mt. Saint Hilary. The air was cooler up here than on the ground, and a pleasant breeze cooled his hot metal head-piece. He didn't have to wonder to know why that conversation had scared him. It was hard enough when most of his comrades were now pairing up with each other, (like you couldn't tell that Sideswipe and Bluestreak were more than just friends) but now they expected him to participate too?

And what was with Windcharger? They had never been more than friends before, and Brawn was not about to change that. Windcharger was every weakness Brawn sought to avoid (like his magnetism, for instance, could kill Brawn if they ever needed to fight one another). Did they have to try and make something more out of nothing?

As if called by Brawn's the thoughts, the very mech he did not want to see came into sight. "Brawn," his light voice sounded from below. The red transformer had a look of carefree concern on his face, and Brawn made sure to cover up his own frustration and fear before meeting the other's optics. When Windcharger had finally reached his friend's perch, he was panting slightly. Brawn sniffed. How weak.

They were quiet for only a klik or two. Windcharger might have been sporadic, but the red mech was uncharacteristically stubborn when it came to his friendship with the green and yellow bot. It was something that rather grooved even deeper Brawn's dislike for the coming conversation.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Brawn spat, turning his head away so that he did not have to look at the other. "I'm perfect. Just peachy. Yes sir, nothing wrong here."

"Now I don't believe that, and I know you don't either." Brawn snorted. Of course he didn't. "You might be strong, but you're an idiot if you believe that we didn't notice something was off about you back there. What was that, anyway? They were only kidding!" Windcharger's voice became suddenly subdued, and Brawn realized that the mech might have been "blushing" again. "Was it…me? Did I do something wrong?"

Brawn remembered the hurt look on Windcharger's face as he had left. "Oh no," he moaned sadly. "Oh, Windcharger, please…it's not that, really." The red robot tilted his head as he stared up at his companion, waiting for him to continue. "It's just that…it's a war, and times are tough enough without adding on…that."

Windcharger bowed his head. "I know. I see Sideswipe and Bluestreak, or Jazz and Prowl, and I don't get it. How can they act like this in the middle of a war? But Brawn," he added, looking up into his friend's optics. "I do understand it. I do get it, because…oh Primus, Brawn, I feel the same way! I look at you and I get it. I want to be like them, with you." He shifted uncomfortably on the rocky outcrop. "I can't help it. You're like everything I've ever wanted, but couldn't have."

"You're right," Brawn whispered. "You can't have it. I'm sorry, Windcharger. You will always be a good friend."

"Now wait a moment," Windcharger cried. Was that desperation in his voice? "Why do you turn it down without even thinking about it, or talking about it? Brawn, I know we're in the middle of a war, but things could work out between us!" Brawn did not answer. The red mech beside him misread the silence. "Please Brawn…we could be so happy together. And it would be forever…"

"That's where you're wrong," Brawn said coldly. "Nothing lasts forever. What if one of us died, huh? Do you have any idea what that feels like? What it feels like to have stone cold misery living in your soul? It's not something you'd ever want to live with, Windcharger! I would give my life up if it meant winning the war; surely you can figure that out!"

Windcharger was silent for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was soft on Brawn's audio receptors. "You speak like you know what that feels like."

"Maybe I do," Brawn hissed quietly. Grief tore at his heart as he thought back to his life before the war. Everything had been perfect. But like Windcharger had said, everyone had been doomed from the moment Megatron had been created.

Windcharger gaped at him. "Who? What happened?"

Brawn winced. This was exactly what he had been afraid of.

"I thought I loved him…he made promises of forever, just like you are. Forever ended much quicker than I thought it would."

He hoped that Windcharger would not ask his first question again, but knew that it was hopeless. "Who?"

"Does it matter who?" Brawn turned away again, anger and desperation. "He's gone from my life, and talking about it won't change that!"

"Gone from your life?" Windcharger puzzled.

"Yes, he's no longer a part of my life."

It suddenly seemed to klik. "But…that means he could still be alive! Brawn, we can find him, track him down."

"No, we can't," Brawn said. Now he was truly afraid. "I mean…I know where he is. I just don't want…him anymore."

Windcharger was excited now, though Brawn could not fathom why. If his previous bondmate was still alive, that meant that he could never be bonded to another. It also meant that Windcharger's chances of having any sort of relationship beyond friends with Brawn dwindled to about zero.

"Why not?" He looked directly at Brawn's face and his features fell from their excitement into something a little like suspicion. "Who is he?"

Brawn shook his head, putting his hands up to cover his audio receptors. It was as if he blocked his hearing, he would not have to answer Windcharger's question.

"Brawn, is he…are you bonded to a Decepticon?"

Brawn shook, moaning slightly at his partner's question. He was brave in many aspects, but he couldn't take it. He didn't want to have these questions asked of him, or to face the fact that yes, he and his partner had chosen to go separate ways at the start of the war. He trembled as Windcharger brushed his hand to take hold of it. It was a firm grip, and the other's voice grew sterner. "Who is it?"

"Th-the worst…I c-cannot s-ss-say."

But it seemed that Windcharger was fed up. "Oh come on, Brawn! Where's your bravery? You were always so strong, and now you can't even say your mate's name. How horrible. At least I had the gall to come up and tell you how I felt about you. Didn't you think that might be difficult for me? But I did it. If you're so strong, you should be able to say his name."

Brawn stared in wild panic. He couldn't admit that he, the strongest of the Autobots, second only to Prime, was bonded to the worst Decepticon ever to live. He was connected by his own being to the one who had started the war in the first place.

"Brawn, look at me!"

The green transformer looked directly into the calming blue optics. In his spark, he felt a jolt. He hadn't realized that his fear had opened the bond again. In the core of his being, there was a feeling of curiosity and…was that anger? Brawn closed the connection carefully while he composed himself. He was still trembling, but at least his panic had gone.

"H-he was so d-different then. He wasn't kind, no he was never kind, but he wasn't like he is now. Cold, and indifferent, and monstrous. But back then, he actually cared about things. He asked me questions, got to know me. He…l-liked me, I think."

Come to think of it, it was possible his ex-lover still liked him, or at least thought about him. It was so surprising that the others hadn't figured it out. After all, how many Autobot names did the Decepticon feared above all others know other than Prime?

Windcharger didn't speak at first. It must have been hard for him. He had come out here to admit that he loved Brawn enough to want to bond their souls for life, but now he was discovering his strong and courageous friend was already entwined with an evil being for eternity.

When he finally spoke, it was so quiet that Brawn wasn't sure he was supposed to be hearing it. "Primus above…no wonder you're so upset."

Brawn nodded miserably. "I have always regretted parting ways with him. I want this awful thing between us to be gone. If I can, I will kill him."

Windcharger nodded vigorously. "I would too. But still, you haven't told me who it is."

"It's better that you don't know," Brawn whispered. He was thankful that Windcharger didn't press the matter anymore. When he next spoke, he was almost hopeful.

"And, if your old…mate, is killed and you are free again…will you consider joining with me?"

Brawn was silent for a moment. His red companion was a great friend. He was fast-paced and usually acted on a whim. Often, he had the green transformer laughing at some odd quirk he came up with on the spot. He was everything that Brawn had to fear, but everything Brawn had to cherish as well. Would he want to be mated again after everything he'd been through? Oh, Primus yes. He'd want that warmth he'd once had to come back, and this time with somebody he knew he could trust. He wasn't that young, naïve mech anymore. Now, he was an experienced warrior. And Windcharger was experienced too. Together, they were a great team, but as lovers….

Mmm…If only life were that easy.

"I would," Brawn answered at last. "Oh yes, would I. But don't get your hopes up, Windcharger. I don't think my ex-mate is going to be killed any time soon."

The red mech smiled tentatively. "I will always hope."

Hope. An emotion that Brawn felt in every battle. He had his target. He knew who to shoot at. He knew that it was impossible odds, but Primus above, Brawn would kill his ex one day. He glared up at Cybertron. Megatron would never see it again, if he had anything to say about it. He didn't know how, or when, but someday, that evil slag-spawned son-of-a-glitch would pay for what he had stolen from everyone.

Leaning against Windcharger, he let the wind blow against his warm chassis. His companion was exceptionally better now that they had finally spoken. Later, each would tell himself something different had happened: That they had both been nervous, but still strong. Perhaps they would even let the rumors of their "love" spread. But in that moment, each knew where they stood, and the future seemed remote and far away.