Disclaimer: Own Harry Potter? Nah.

You Mess with One of the Messrs, You Mess with All the Messrs.

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"I can't believe Emmeline could do this to our baby werewolf!" James seethed, looking out at the Hogwarts grounds from the astronomy tower, finding every tweet a bird made in the daylight just plain insulting.

A hand slid around his waist from the back and rubbed his tummy. "There, there, Prongs," The gorgeous voice of Sirius Black cooed. "I got something to cheer you up."

James turned around and batted his eyelashes shyly, bringing up a hand to his chest in a questioning fashion. "For me?" he asked, looking astounded. "Paddy, you shouldn't of!"

"How could I resist anything that has my wittle 'deery' written all over it?" Sirius simpered.

"I love you, Paddy Pie," said James, his eyes watering.

Sirius shook his head as he bit his lip, as if he could scarcely believe James felt the same way he did. "C'mere, Prongsie Poo!" He gasped in happiness.

The two boys embraced tightly then pulled apart, staring hazel eyes into gray eyes. Niether spoke as the meaning was clear without words. Both of them began bringing their heads in at the same time.

Closer... and Closer. James' lips quivered with anticipation, and Sirius' eyes fluttered closed as he put a hand behind James' neck. Just two centimeteres away, James suddenly ducked under Sirius' arm and staggered back.

"Say it, bitch!" Sirius grinned victoriously, flicking his radiant dark hair back.

"You're a sexy gay winner and I'm a sexy cowardly straight loser," James sulked.

"Yes, you are, my friend," Sirius guffawed.

James sniffed irritably. "I don't even get that game. I AM straight so how is this fair?"

"Bcause I'm straight, too"

"But you're gayer than me."

"Yes, but still straight," Sirius pointed out with a smirk.

"Whatever!" James was confused. He hated when Sirius did this to him. "You said you got me something?"

"No, I said I have something that'll cheer you up. But it's not for you," Sirius rolled his eyes and took his book-bag off his shoulders, and pulled out a bag marked ZONKOS. "It's for Vance."

James grinned widely, his eyes sparkling a bit as they always did when trouble was underfoot.

Sirius sighed dreamily as he looked at James. "You are so hot when you get mischief in your eyes."

"I know," James winked. "But c'mon, let's have it," he nodded at the Zonkos bag.

"Right!" Sirius said in a business-like tone, reaching into the bag and taking out a neon-green box.

Taking the small box, James read the title and took in a hefty breath. "Damn..."

"She won't be snogging any other boys for a while after this," Sirius smirked.

James looked back at him, looking very serious. "I thought I loved you five minutes ago. But now, I see that I was just a child then. THIS is real love," he gestured between himself and Sirius, who grinned wider.

"So gay," he chortled, shaking his head.

"We gonna slip this in her morning pumpkin juice then?" James asked, ignoring that last comment.

"Yep," Sirius said, happily. "Worst halitosis in Hogwarts history I bet."

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Over.