A requested one shot/short story from the amazing LillithKiss: If you've yet to see her incredible artwork you are seriously missing out!

Thanks again Miss Lillith! I hope you like it! :D

Pairing: Greens

Prompt: Buttercup finds out she's pregnant; freaks out about it. Butch couldn't be happier. He's got this stupid ear to ear smile 24/7 and she just wants to (violently) erase it from his stupidly handsome face.

A/N: Completely AU to any of my PPG universes- Ruffs and Puffs are respectively in their late twenties. Probably 26 or so.

-o-o-o-

Dear God this can't be happening. Please tell me I heard that wrong.

And stop smiling you idiot!

"C-Could you repeat that? I… I must not have heard you correctly…"

The ding bat grinned. "You're pregnant Miss Utonium, congratulations."

The moron was beaming so broadly next to her Buttercup wanted to hit something. Preferably hard. Preferably Butch's thick skull. Hopefully it would break. And being in a hospital like they were he'd be quick to get medical attention- it was an ideal situation. Perfect even.

She was cold. This place was like a fucking ice box. And this stupid gown or whatever she was wearing didn't do shit for the cold!

Stop. Smiling. You. Asshole.

She was fucking cold. She was fucking humiliated. Seriously puking in the middle of a goddamn carnival!? What was she Bubbles!? Bubbles had been Pukes' McGee for four straight months- her lame ass boy toy- husband thing- had been at her beck and call like a freaking loser thought Buttercup would have obviously beaten the crap out of him if he'd done anything less- but still. Still.

That…That was Bubbles! That was her living fluffball of a little sister made out of kittens and rainbows and candy sprinkles! Bubbles with the baby and the husband! The Joy and the Laughter!

Buttercup… no see Buttercup… Buttercup was the toughest fighter. She didn't do… mushy… shit… in public. Sure the moron next to her still grinning like some kind of psycho could sometimes manage to scrounge up enough charm to get her to take her shirt off first and shit- but… no. Shit…this…this no way! Uh uh! Nope.

STOP. SMILING.

God damn it. Look at that smug fucking mug. Ugh- he was probably thinking of ways to announce it to the whole fucking city. He'd probably jump on some rooftop and start howling like some kind of howler monkey. Beat on his chest too- like some kind of stupid ape or lame impression of Tarzan.

He had the intelligence at best of a Neanderthal after all.

Ugga Ugga- Me Butch. Me Big Bad Rowdyruff. Me knock Powerpuff Girl up. Me Best Rowdyruff in world.

It had been once. Once to shut up his stupid whining. She was on the goddamn pill! The fuck was the point of the shit if it didn't do shit! 99% effective!? Bull! Buuuuuullllll!

"Miss Utonium?" She met the vapid gaze of the fucking doctor- seriously how could one with so many degrees look and act so stupid? That smile was so annoying. Not as annoying as the idiotic grin to her left Buttercup was going to take great pleasure in breaking but still irritating at best.

Her older sister was never going to let Buttercup live this down.

Oh no- Blossom who Buttercup of course had not interrupted her totally not "sexy fun times" with this lame ass's older brother in her panic over having puked about two meals worth all over the boardwalk's tilt-a-whirl-: Again lame ass date. Lame. What were they kids? – but regardless the Commander and Leader had sprinted all the way to Townsville Harbor District in nothing but a pair of hastily thrown on shorts and a red hoodie that seemed awfully familiar and was also about two sizes too big for her- with a Red Rowdyruff mysteriously showing up mere moments later with the generous offer of driving Buttercup and his panicking caveman of a brother to the ER while Blossom had been in complete leader mode and scolded her all the way here. How Brick suddenly knew about Buttercup's upchucking was never discussed.

Not the issue- stop changing the subject. It doesn't matter!

The scolding had been shriller than usual.

But of course Blossom had totally not been pissed about being interrupted. Nope. Not at all. This was all business. Because her and Brick were totally not fucking like rabbits as soon as they thought everyone else's eyes were closed . Yep. Sure. They were completely professional in their forced relationship due to "being in laws"

Yep. Uh huh. Suuuuuure.

The doctor was still spouting out nonsense- proper diet- nutrition- plenty of sleep. The caveman nodded and with that creepy ass smile still on his dumb face was asking stupid question after stupid question.

Of course he'd want to know if it was a boy or girl. Dumb ass.

Of course it would have Chemical X in their system. Dumb. Ass.

Ugh… why… just whhhhyyyyy!?

Another nod of the vapid doctor's head- seriously Buttercup would like to see this chick's medical degree- she looked too dumb to have undergone medical school. Blossom didn't look dumb and she was just an intern. Blossom looked smart all the time- except when she was yelling at Brick at family functions- then she looked pissed. And turned on. And then the two would storm out in separate yet perfectly timed intervals and both of their phones would mysteriously be off for the rest of the evening.

But they hated each other. Totally. Completely. Just like Bubbles and Boomer hated each other. And just like Butch and Buttercup too.

Oh God… why did he have to be smiling like that!?

Seriously- any wider and he was gonna break his face! And then Buttercup wouldn't get to do it and that wasn't fair! Only Buttercup was allowed to break Butch's face! Counterpart privilege damn it!

And oh God…

GodGodGodGodGodwhywhywhywhythiswasterriblethiswasawfulthiscouldn'tbehappenningohmygodwhywhywhwywhwywhwywhwywhywwhwywhwhywhwywwhy!?

The door clicked and Dr. Dumb Dum had stepped out. The grinning caveman whipped around to face her- that fucking grin- she was gonna break it. She was! Don't tempt her! No! Don't touch her! Get those filthy stupid caveman hands off asshole! Now! Right now!

Stop petting her tummy like some kind of creepy creep! There was nothing in there! Well there was but there wasn't and

shitshitshitshitshiishitohgodwhatwasshegonnadoshewastooyoungforthisBubbleswasalwaysreadytobeamommyButtercupcouldn'teventakecareofthedogwellthattalkingdogwasannoyingsoitwasn'therfaultbut why!? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Stop smiling! Stop looking so fucking cute and happy! No! Bad! Bad Caveman!

"So a baby Butch in there eh Baby." That smile was unhinged. Terrifying and Oh. Dear. God.

Two… TWO BUTCHES?! Well great it was the apocalypse come to life.

Great. She'd been supposed to save the world by bedtime not end it by breakfast.

Great.

Greeeeaaaaattttt….

How was she gonna fight?! How was she gonna beat up bad guys!? How was the toughest fighter gonna do her thing and take names while doing it!?

What was she supposed to do?! Sit home and knit!?

Fuck that shit!

Stop smiling damn it!

"Doc says you gotta take it easy baby." Rub. Rub. Buttercup had apparently been turned into a doggie. Woof Woof. Fuck. Fuck.

"I'm a Powerpuff Girl. I don't take it easy. I fuck people up."

"Yeah well now you got a baby Ruff in there soooo…"

"I ain't quittin'!"

"Gotta do what you gotta do baby." That smile was unhinged. And fucking stupid. She was gonna smack it off.

"Stop calling me that dumb ass! And this is your fault!"

"Yep- it sure is- and man oh man am I the best Rowdyruff or what?"

"You fucking seduced me."

"Yep I sure did."

"Fucking pulled the sweet talk on me like some kind of wannabe Casanova."

"Yep- whoever that is I sure did."

"I fucking hate you."

"I hate you too pumpkin- you gonna marry me now or what?"

"Fuck no!"

"Good girl."

"I ain't wearing a fucking dress. I'll look like a cake. Like Bubbles did in her monstrosity."

"Well I ain't wearing a monkey suit neither- Boom looked fucking stupid- more than usual."

"I'm a superhero. I fight bad guys. I don't do… Mommy shit."

"Yeah well I'm a Rowdyruff I fuck shit up for kicks and I'm gonna be the best fucking dad on the planet."

"Stop looking so goddamn happy! This is a disaster!"

"You helped make it."

"Like I said you fucking seduced me you fucking piece of snail slime."

"Ooh good one baby."

"Two Butch Jojo's in one world. I'm supposed to save it- not END IT!"

"Yeah… our Bad ass baby Jojo is gonna be a walking apocalypse."

"I'm shocked you even know that word."

"Meh- I heard the banshee shriek it at my brother once- called him that and a bunch of other big words."

"Oh you mean at Christmas? So was that before or after they ended up getting locked in Mojo's basement for two hours- you know when the door got stuck."

"Before I think. The monkey still won't go down there. Kinda weird."

"I think that would traumatize anybody. That scream was loud enough- I never knew the ape was secretly a soprano."

"I thought that was your sister?! Wait- Seriously that was Mojo!? Well shit."

"Yep."

"Uh huh."

"Stop. Smiling."

"You're smiling too."

"Am not.'

"Am too."

"AM. NOT."

"ARE. TOO."

She was gonna do it. She was gonna beat him to an inch of his life and knock all his damn teeth out- perfectly white or not she was gonna do it!

"So… a baby Ruff." Rub. Rub.

"You know it could be a Puff. Don't forget that."

"Yeah I know." Rub. Rub. "And she'll be a spit fire like her mommy."

"Don't say that."

"What? Mommy?"

"Don't call me that…." She was going to be sick again. That smile finally faded and he cocked his head like an idiot.

"Why?"

"Cause I'm gonna be a shitty mommy. I'm too loud. I'm too mean. I'm too…hard." Her hands began to shake and the moron put his own paws over them. "I ain't some mushy gumdrop like Bubbles! I don't do the whole lullaby singin' and rattle shakin' – and I ain't a super genius like Blossom! I can't ya know- just learn shit on the fly- I'm gonna fuck up so many times that I'm gonna fuck up my own kid!"

"You ain't gonna fuck up our kid."

"Bullshit."

"Seriously the kid's gonna come in the world fucked up anyway- look at his daddy? The Baron of The Berserk mother fuckers he's gonna be a chip off the ole' block!"

"You are not helping this situation."

"Nah baby just listen for a sec."

"I'd rather puke."

"Okay-." He grabbed a barrel and handed it to her. "Well do that and still listen- you got super hearin' after all."

"I'd prefer to puke on you."

"…Ya already did Baby."

Oh yeah. Tilt-a-whirls spin like crazy and she'd had nowhere else to turn but her unfortunate ride mate. Whoops. Well that explained that stench that seemed to be surrounding them and why the nurses even were giving the guy space. Dumb ass. Hadn't even changed. Shock Brick had let the guy in the car actually.

Then again he was likely stewing over the whole not being interrupted thing to care about anything but how to not get her sister naked again. You know- because he wasn't interested in seeing that.

Cause it totally took two hours to get a bottle of wine from a cellar. Her sister was just picky.

Dumbasses.

He folded his arms all smug and proud like a dumb ass- then cradled his chin in an attempt to look intelligent. A failure of course but he tried. Had to give the Neanderthal some credit. And meh he looked cute doing it so whatever.

"So first off you're gonna be a kick ass mommy- Our kid's gonna learn pretty quick that they're the epic spawn of the best Ruff Puff combo in the city!"

"Actually I'm pretty sure a pretty valid argument can be made that this is the single worst combination of a child ever conceived."

"Nah baby listen- so bad ass Jojo in there- you know gotta keep the tradition up and all-."

"Okay one- no we don't. Two. We are not naming my child "Bad ass" you idiot."

"Aw why not?"

"Because A) you're an idiot. B) what's if it's a girl Sherlock."

"… Bad assa?"

"… Oh my fucking God this is a disaster." She let herself fall backwards and her head hit the pathetic excuse for a pillow hospitals provided.

"No it ain't baby- it's gonna be fucking great! Seriously! You'll teach our little bad ass how to be a superhero and shit- you know punch bad guys and kick evil's ass while I teach Bad ass how to be a rough and tough little shit who don't take no shit from no one! They can protect their cousins you know- cause you and I both know the way the blondes baby im' Bryce is gonna be a wimp like his dad."

"… Bryce is six months old."

"Exactly- totally babying im'."

"Butch… he can't even control when he goes the bathroom."

"Exactly baby- see our little Bad Ass-."

"We're not naming our child Bad Ass." He ignored her.

"No see Bad ass is the spawn of the toughest and most kick ass fighters in the city- if not the world – he's gonna-."

"Again so sure its going to be boy…"

"He or she – there better?-"

"Much, but you're still a moron."

"Thank you. Anyway, he or she is going to be the luckiest damn baby in the world- never has to worry about anything- they're gonna be tough, they're gonna be brutal, and they're gonna know their mommy and daddy would do anything for em' and will always be looking out for em'! Cause that's what mommy does you know? She looks out for everybody and protects em' too- she even deals with me on a daily basis without a bat of an eye. Cause she loves everybody- even stupid Rowdy cavemen who drive her crazy- cause that's all a kid needs baby. Love. And you got plenty of it."

Silence.

His smile began to waver again. "Uh baby?"

"You're an idiot… that was the sappiest mushy bull crap I ever heard." She snapped.

"And you're cryin' still."

She sniffed. "No I ain't- don't think anything of it- it's the stupid hormones. Remember Bubbles!"

"I don't like to- I still wonder how the hell Boom lived past the third month."

"He bought her chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And ice cream. "

"Oh yeah. Damn better get me some tips."

Silence.

"I'm not gonna be a shitty mommy?"

"Nope- kick ass mommy."

"… We're not naming our kid Bad Ass."

"Awww… fine you're no fun. We'll go with a boring one then- how about Brad?"

"No."

"Bob."

"Fuck no. Be a bit more original- and remember- girl is a possibility. Dumb ass."

"… err…"

"Let's not do this now. Your head will explode from the effort."

"Aw I love you too baby."

"Yeah yeah, whatever- c'mon lets go make sure our siblings haven't killed each other… or they aren't traumatizing more innocents in the waiting room with their "hating" each other."

He chuckled and before she knew it the asshole had her in a sissy bridal hold.

"Dumb ass put me the fuck down fore' I pound you into next week!"

"Nooooope. You heard the doctor honey pie-."

"I'm gonna kill you- and that doesn't even make any sense- take some blonde lessons… wait no don't. That will traumatize the children." His grip tightened and she buzzed her lips. "You fucking reek. Put me down! How the hell did Brick allow you into his fucking car!?"

"He was distracted making sure we didn't notice his shirt was on backwards and the banshee had the world's biggest hickey."

"Wait she did? Where was I?"

"Puking."

"Oh yeah."

Their siblings awaited them… but not the ones they were expecting. The blondes stood up immediately- little Bryce peeked out from the baby sling and Bubbles cradled him instantly. Her eyes softened and Boomer like a dope even leaned over and tucked the little ruff's chin.

"What are you guys doing here?" She smacked him in the head and he finally released her. Still grinning with like an idiot.

"Blossom called us and told us you were sick so we wanted to check in on you." Her blonde sister immediately was at her side- Bryce having been scooped up by his daddy with a little gurgle.

"And brought the kid? Ain't that not a good idea?"

"Only way the kid's going to develop anti…bodies and stuff like that is being exposed to the air and junk." Boomer explained. "That's what Bloss and the Professor said at least."

Butch continued to look perplexed- shocker- but he had walked over to his brother regardless.

"So what's up? Is everything alright?" Bubbles murmured quickly, Butch was staring at the kid with the weirdest look on his face: Almost… confused. The big blue eyes of her nephew only stared back at him- before with a happy little gurgle he held his arms out. Boomer's own eyes widened.

"Well I'll be- you want Uncle Butch to hold you buddy? Do ya mind Bro?"

Butch seemed hesitant for a moment but then that stupid big wide toothy grin he'd been sporting all night returned and he plucked the tiny Rowdyruff up and into his arms.

"Sure little bro- I could use some practice heh."

"Practice?" Boomer cocked his head.

"PRACTICE!?" Bubbles gasped and whirled around. "Oh… Em… GEE! Buttercup are you-!?"

Ugggh…. Prepare for screeches. She nodded. Said screeches commenced.

"Holy! That's awesome BC!" Boomer beamed. Bubbles however paused in her wild jumping.

"Wait… are you two gonna get married now?"

"No-."

"YUP!" The dumb ass grinned and continued bouncing their nephew.

"Since when did I agree to this!"

"You agreed in the room- no cake dress or monkey suit remember?"

"If that was a proposal than you suck at it."

"Aw gimme a break baby- how was I supposed to know you'd upchuck at the carnival?"

"Because I- wait what?"

Boomer snickered, "I'll take this." He reclaimed his son. "Go get em' tiger."

"Plannin' on it." He started digging in his pocket. "Sooooo-."

Oh hell no. Not in public! Bubbles swooned next to her and started her jumping again.

Aw hell no!

"Don't even think about it! Fine. Yes. Sure- but not in public ya hear!" She put her hands out and he blinked like an idiot but nonetheless shrugged, took her hand and slipped the dratted thing on her finger.

"You're no fun."

"I'm fucking pregnant- you don't question a thing from me for the next nine months ya hear!"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!?"

Ah. Speak of the devil. The redheads returneth.

Huh… indeed his shirt was on backwards… and looked kinda ripped in the collar area and her sister was indeed sporting the biggest "bug bite" on the side of her neck she had ever seen. Bubbles' eyes were as dinner plates and followed their older sister silently as she sailed towards them- ever so dignified as usual. "You're pregnant Buttercup?" She repeated.

"Sure am."

Her sister's jaw dropped and her smudged up lipsticked lips opened and closed like a gaping fish- though why she'd be wearing lipstick on a night she was spending reading by the fire all by her lonesome Buttercup had no idea whatsoever.

Brick on his part- also sporting some lovely lipstick himself strangely enough all over the sides of his mouth… and the sad remains of that shirt collar- apparently got over his shock first, brought his fist to his mouth and with slightly wide eyes hastily wiped it on his pants before he managed to clear his throat. "Well.. that explains the… little vomiting episode. Nice goin' smart ass- bring the pregnant girlfriend to a tilt a whirl real smart."

Butch sneered. " Very funny. How was I supposed to know!?"

"Did you at least manage to pop the question?" Brick said dryly. Blossom's mouth dropped more.

"WHAT!?"

Butch grinned that stupid grin again and grabbed her hand- wiggling it his brother's face. "Sure did Bro! Looks like Big Bad Brick Jojo is the last bachelor of the Rowdyruffs. Ha!"

"You say this as if this is a bad thing…" Another dry retort.

"OKAY- Explanation. Now!" Blossom put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. "Let me get this straight- you." She pointed to Butch. "Brought my pregnant sister to a carnival."

"I didn't know she was preggers!" Her hand went up.

" You brought her there to propose?"

He nodded.

"Ah yup."

"Which I'm going to kill him for when he's not being my bitch."

"Oye! Whaddya mean your bitch?"

"You're gonna be my bitch for the next nine months bitch- anything I want I get got it!"

"Well duh! But I ain't your bitch- What do I look like Boomer?!"

"HEY!" The blondes both exclaimed at once.

"I don't believe this." Blossom whispered.

"The way they go at it like rabbits I don't see why?" Brick folded his arms- he'd also strangely enough ended up directly at her side again.

"A super powered trio is now a super powered uno." She whispered and held her hands up to her eye level. "I'm last." That whisper seemed more strangled.

"Eh!? Whaddya mean!" Buttercup yelped. "I'm still fightin' long as-!"

"Oh no you are not missy! You are officially benched."

"WHAT!? You won't last a week without me!"

"I'll manage just fine thank you. Me and myself and I and… and-." She continued looking at her hands with that weird look on her face- a combination of: Oh God I'm gonna cry and Oh God I'm fucked.

"Well… I mean I can-." Bubbles began but Boomer shook his head firmly.

"Uh uh. We talked about this hon- not until Bryce is in daycare."

"Well yeah but-." The blonde Rowdyruff looked surprisingly stern. She pouted but then sighed.

"Sorry Bloss?" Boomer shrugged. "But I got my kid to think about ya know- nothin' personal-."

"Y-Yes… I understand Boomer of course I do- Bubbles it's absolutely out of the question you have other priorities and so does Buttercup I'm the…" She gulped and continued looking at her hands with the weird look still on her face. "I'm the one with the least p-priorities." She laughed uneasily.

"Blossom are you sure?"

"Positive! I'll be A' Ok! Don't worry about a thing!- The commander and Leader has this! She's the one with a plan and forever in control of the situation! Alone. But that's okay! I've done plenty of solo missions before!" Her laughter seemed brittle. The blondes gave each other looks.

"Yeah fuck this- no. Bloss I ain't lettin' you fight by your lonesome- that shit's nuts. You can borrow my bitch- he'll fight with ya." Butch stiffened.

"Say what!?"

"What you scared?"

"No! But I got a rep to keep!"

"What rep! You haven't done any crime or shit since we were kids. You helped a little old lady cross the street last week for Christ's sake."

"She was holding up traffic! I had places to be!"

"Bull. You're doin' it. I won't be able to relax if my sis is out there by herself."

"Well duh I know that too! I was gonna offer to help if she wanted it but I ain't bein' ordered to do it every time like some kind of-!"

Another abrupt throat clearing. Brick folded his arms. "That won't be necessary. I'll be taking over- I'd prefer not to end up living in a crater because Miss over confident here gets her sorry ass kicked by some monster or whatever."

"WHAT!?"

And… here we go.

"I do not need your help Brick Jojo!"

"It ain't help. It's an insurance policy."

The blondes sighed and Butch backed away. Here we go…

"Insurance policy!? I'll have you know I have fought numerous creatures of varying strengths and sizes for many years and I am not about to be belittled! I do not need help!"

"Too fucking bad woman. I'm not going to end up homeless because of miss perfect fucking up! Look at you you're shaking like a-!"

"SHUT. UP."

"MAKE. ME."

"You're not helping and that's final!"

"The hell I'm not!"

"You would simply get in my way!"

Bubbles tapped her shoulder, "You and Butch wanna come with Boom and me- this won't end well."

"I really hope they're careful- we can't have all three Puffs out on mommy leave." Butch muttered.

"Knowing our brother and his complete and utter fear of commitment. He probably wears three or four." Boomer muttered back.

"Good point."

"What was that Powerpuff."

They'd ended up chest to chest.

"You. Would. Get. In. My. Way. Rowdyruff."

And...Buttercup recognized that look. That flaring of nostrils. That curling of fists. That biting of a bottom lip already swollen. And she saw the darkening of those irises on the guy's end as well as the crooked smirk that was crawling up his face a near match to the challenging one that had already curled on her sister's as they glared.

But Buttercup and them had this innocent baby boy and unborn child to think of. They must not traumatize the children.

Therefore…

"You wanna say that again… Blossom?"

"As many times as I need to…. Brick."

Time to go.

Now.

She grabbed the caveman's arm and pulled him away. The blondes hastened their pace.

The Redheads continued snarling and eye fucking each other. Didn't even notice their siblings… rather frantic exit. Or… anyone else for that matter… and ugh. Bad images. She'd hurled enough today thank you.

The yelling ceased behind them. Oh God. RUN! RUUUUUUN!

"Do you think they'll ever get it?" Bubbles whispered frantically.

"Who the fuck knows just keep running!"

"H-Hey! Baby slow down! Think of Bad Ass!"

"For the last time… We. Are. Not. Naming. Our. Child. BAD ASS!"

One year later….

"D'aww who's my little Bad ass. Huh? Who's my little tough guy?"

"What happened to not naming the kid bad ass?"

"Shut up it's a pet name."

"Whatever you say baby."

"So… crazy about my bro and the banshee huh?"

"You heard that too?"

"I think everyone in China heard that scream."

"Yeah Blossom was pretty freaked."

"That was my brother."

"... Oh. Pass me the powder will ya?"

"Sure thing.

"… Well… We got insurance right?"

"Yep."

"Kay. Just making sure…. So by the way when's our little Ruff gonna get a baby sister?"

"When you're able to squeeze her out."

" Aw c'mon! I want a little girl to go with my tough little boy."

"Sugar, Spice, and Everything nice- your father-in-law has a nice little lab right downstairs. Have a party."

"But that's no fun!"

"Not my problem."

"Fuck… love you too."

"Yeah yeah. Take the kid's shit will ya."

"Can do- So… Townsville's pretty much fucked huh?"

"Probably. Bubbles is expecting number two."

"…"

"No."

"Damn it."

Fin.

-o-o-o-

Well this was fun. Me thinks I like doing these random prompts and short stories- I might continue this as a short story collection now that I think about it XD – not all of them will be connected of course but who knows this was a very fun exercise so ce' la vie.

So… my lovelies farewell for now :D

Drop me a line if you so wish: If you come up with a prompt or so- Kind of thinking I want to do a Reds next actually but maybe a Blues- or maybe the Greens who knows XD

A big thanks to LilithKiss again for that gorgeous piece of art!