REVENGE OF THE TRUCKINATOR
Legolas Greenleaf stood brushing his hair, whilst staring in the mirror. Little did he know of the trouble that was brewing in the deepest pit, in the darkest spot of Mordor.
The dark lord Sauron, had devised a creature more evil than the nazgul, more powerful than the troll, more darker than the shadow...
This creature was the Truckdor the Truckinator. A being created for one purpose, to rid the world of Legolas Greenleaf.
Legolas happily skipped across the road, when he heard a loud HONK he looked up to see a monstrous semi trailer standing staring at him.
"YOU MUST BE LEGOLAS" Honked the Truckinator. "Yes I am, who might you be?" asked Legolas, shaking his head, to show off his golden hair.
"I AM THE TRUCKINATOR, TIME TO DIE MWAHAHAHHAHAHA," said the Truckinator, half laughing half honking.
Legolas quickly drew an arrow and loosed it at the creature's chassis, but it just bounced off.
Legolas turned and started to run, BUT NO ONE OUTRUNS THE TRUCKINATOR. The Truckinator lowered itself onto its eighteen wheels and took off after the elf.
Soon Legolas fell over, with the truck looming over him, the elf cowered and yelled in a high-pitched voice. "Don't hurt me, Truckinator. I'm not really an elf"
Then Legolas proceeded to tell the story of how he was really just an ugly dwarf. To prove it, Legolas removed the rubber face and wig, that all matrix fans knew were fake, to reveal a hideously maimed face, with three eyeballs, lots of nose hair and a tie that resembled Mr. Sculthorpe's.
In the end they all lived happily ever after, Sauron was no longer after Legolas' blood for being prettier than he was. The Truckinator had saved the world from the evil FAKE, supposedly good looks that were Legolas's. And last but not least we come to Legolas, no one really knows what happened to the poor ugly dwarf, he was believed to have been captured by an angry mob of now ex-legolas fan girls, and locked up in a cage full of hungry ants, who ate off his legs.
The End.
Special Thanks: this book is dedicated to Aury, without her constant support of my legolas hating, I would never have written this best seller.
REVENGE OF THE TRUCKINATOR, revised edition.
Legolas Greenleaf was an exquisitely beautiful elf, with hair the colour of spun sunshine and eyes deepest azure. His hair was long and silky, sleek and smooth to touch, usually braided so that it did not hang over his lovely face. His face was fair and perfect, long and slim with high cheekbones that sent the fangirls into a lust filled rampage. To top of the elf's stunning head, were perfectly pointed ears, a trait that all of Legolas's kin shared. With pointy ears, Legolas's hearing was exceptional, and like all elves, his eyesight was also.
Legolas was tall and lithe, swift on his feet, strong and agile as well. He was an expert shot with a long bow, and could most certainly shoot over long distances, as well as on horseback. However, little did he know that there were a few select people out there who hated his guts. Neither Legolas nor his loyal fangirls could possibly understand why there were some sickos in the world who were not in love with everyone's favourite elf, particularly the prince of Mirkwood, Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil of Mirkwood.
Our story begins one fine sunny Wednesday morning. Legolas, dressed in his immaculate leggings and shiny blue shirt was standing in front of the mirror braiding his hair. He was not aware of the horrors that the dark lord Sauron was breeding. A creature had been created, more terrible than the Nazgul, deadlier than Uruk Hai, more powerful than a troll, and darker and more evil than shadow itself. This creature was not the fourteen-year- old peanut butter sandwich that had grown into an enormous size under Legolas's bed, but rather a creature named the Truckinator.
Legolas, prancing in his usual dreamy way, made his way outside to perform some of his princely duties, being a prince and all. Hair perfect, quiver full of expertly made arrows slung over his shoulder, NON WUSSY BOW in his hand, Legolas strode confidently through the city.
He was about to step out onto the road, skipping along happily, whist being followed by the loving mob of fangirls that followed him wherever he went, catering to his every whim. A particularly feeble looking fangirl stepped out onto the road and was nearly knocked over by a bus, one of the Truckinator's evil helpers, despite the fact that no one knew that yet. Legolas rushed to the feeble fangirl's aid, being very brave, risking his own life to save the fangirl. Once safe in the strong, muscular, but lean arms of her rescuer, the fangirl knew she would be forever in Legolas's debt.
She babbled on and on about it, but the elf, tossing his hair, magnificent mane of golden locks, merely shook his head, saying it was nothing, and smiled. He flashed another perfect, white-toothed smile, making all the fangirls swoon. A few even fainted from the sheer loveliness of it all.
However, though a little distracted, with his excellent hearing, Legolas heard a honk that sent shivers up the spines of all the fangirls and passers by. A huge semi trailer came around the bend, grinning maliciously.
Legolas knew at once that this was the Truckinator, the creature so evil he had only heard about it in myth. The fangirls scattered, as did the rest of the population nearby. But Legolas remained steadfast and un afraid. He glared defiantly up at the Truckinator, who was coming closer.
"Are you Legolas Greenleaf?" asked the huge thing, wanting to be sure that this beautiful creature before it was the right elf.
Legolas nodded resolutely. "That is Prince Legolas Greenleaf, to you," he said, reaching to his quiver for an arrow. "You must be the Truckinator." He glared. "How dare you come here, scaring my fangirls, my people, my worshipers! You shall pay for your insolence!"
He nocked the arrow to the string, but at that moment the Truckinator gave a mighty laugh, despite the fact that it seemed to sound a lot like a horn. Before Legolas knew it, the Truckinator was speeding towards him, each wheel deadly, headlights flashing, smoke rising from the exhaust pipe. Legolas fired his arrow, and much to his dismay it bounced right off the bull/elf bar.
The elf quickly fired two more in rapid succession, this time both arrows finding their mark. One punctured one of the rapidly spinning front wheels, the other breaking the windscreen. Legolas knew that this would wound the Truckinator deeply, but it would still be dangerous. Now the creature bored right down on top of the elf prince, and he fired more arrows, almost all of which penetrated deep into the flesh... err, metal of the Truckinator.
Then, when everyone thought all hope was lost, and Legolas was going to be squished by the giant wheels, the elf leapt lightly up and swung himself up onto the bonnet.
So, after a complicated maneuver, Legolas managed to position himself on the roof of the Truckinator, without even getting a single scratch. He aimed his final arrow directly at the engine and loosed it, leaping to the ground just in time.
The Truckinator exploded and was nothing more than a smoldering pile of twisted metal and tyres.
Legolas flashed his smile and dusted the single piece of dust off his shirt. He tossed his hair and rejoined his fangirls, having just saved the day.
The Truckinator was no more, and it would no longer terrorize handsome elves. Legolas had saved the world from evil, again. Sauron would be after the elf for being so pretty, but time and time again the clever prince of Mirkwood would foil his plans, saving the day. So except Sauron, and the Truckinator, who was now a burning pile of scorched metal, everyone lived happily ever after.
THE END.
Special thanks: This revised edition of 'The Revenge of the Truckinator' is dedicated to Leggie, without whom Aury would have had no reason to write this even better selling revised edition of the best selling book. Mwa haa haa haa
Legolas Greenleaf stood brushing his hair, whilst staring in the mirror. Little did he know of the trouble that was brewing in the deepest pit, in the darkest spot of Mordor.
The dark lord Sauron, had devised a creature more evil than the nazgul, more powerful than the troll, more darker than the shadow...
This creature was the Truckdor the Truckinator. A being created for one purpose, to rid the world of Legolas Greenleaf.
Legolas happily skipped across the road, when he heard a loud HONK he looked up to see a monstrous semi trailer standing staring at him.
"YOU MUST BE LEGOLAS" Honked the Truckinator. "Yes I am, who might you be?" asked Legolas, shaking his head, to show off his golden hair.
"I AM THE TRUCKINATOR, TIME TO DIE MWAHAHAHHAHAHA," said the Truckinator, half laughing half honking.
Legolas quickly drew an arrow and loosed it at the creature's chassis, but it just bounced off.
Legolas turned and started to run, BUT NO ONE OUTRUNS THE TRUCKINATOR. The Truckinator lowered itself onto its eighteen wheels and took off after the elf.
Soon Legolas fell over, with the truck looming over him, the elf cowered and yelled in a high-pitched voice. "Don't hurt me, Truckinator. I'm not really an elf"
Then Legolas proceeded to tell the story of how he was really just an ugly dwarf. To prove it, Legolas removed the rubber face and wig, that all matrix fans knew were fake, to reveal a hideously maimed face, with three eyeballs, lots of nose hair and a tie that resembled Mr. Sculthorpe's.
In the end they all lived happily ever after, Sauron was no longer after Legolas' blood for being prettier than he was. The Truckinator had saved the world from the evil FAKE, supposedly good looks that were Legolas's. And last but not least we come to Legolas, no one really knows what happened to the poor ugly dwarf, he was believed to have been captured by an angry mob of now ex-legolas fan girls, and locked up in a cage full of hungry ants, who ate off his legs.
The End.
Special Thanks: this book is dedicated to Aury, without her constant support of my legolas hating, I would never have written this best seller.
REVENGE OF THE TRUCKINATOR, revised edition.
Legolas Greenleaf was an exquisitely beautiful elf, with hair the colour of spun sunshine and eyes deepest azure. His hair was long and silky, sleek and smooth to touch, usually braided so that it did not hang over his lovely face. His face was fair and perfect, long and slim with high cheekbones that sent the fangirls into a lust filled rampage. To top of the elf's stunning head, were perfectly pointed ears, a trait that all of Legolas's kin shared. With pointy ears, Legolas's hearing was exceptional, and like all elves, his eyesight was also.
Legolas was tall and lithe, swift on his feet, strong and agile as well. He was an expert shot with a long bow, and could most certainly shoot over long distances, as well as on horseback. However, little did he know that there were a few select people out there who hated his guts. Neither Legolas nor his loyal fangirls could possibly understand why there were some sickos in the world who were not in love with everyone's favourite elf, particularly the prince of Mirkwood, Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil of Mirkwood.
Our story begins one fine sunny Wednesday morning. Legolas, dressed in his immaculate leggings and shiny blue shirt was standing in front of the mirror braiding his hair. He was not aware of the horrors that the dark lord Sauron was breeding. A creature had been created, more terrible than the Nazgul, deadlier than Uruk Hai, more powerful than a troll, and darker and more evil than shadow itself. This creature was not the fourteen-year- old peanut butter sandwich that had grown into an enormous size under Legolas's bed, but rather a creature named the Truckinator.
Legolas, prancing in his usual dreamy way, made his way outside to perform some of his princely duties, being a prince and all. Hair perfect, quiver full of expertly made arrows slung over his shoulder, NON WUSSY BOW in his hand, Legolas strode confidently through the city.
He was about to step out onto the road, skipping along happily, whist being followed by the loving mob of fangirls that followed him wherever he went, catering to his every whim. A particularly feeble looking fangirl stepped out onto the road and was nearly knocked over by a bus, one of the Truckinator's evil helpers, despite the fact that no one knew that yet. Legolas rushed to the feeble fangirl's aid, being very brave, risking his own life to save the fangirl. Once safe in the strong, muscular, but lean arms of her rescuer, the fangirl knew she would be forever in Legolas's debt.
She babbled on and on about it, but the elf, tossing his hair, magnificent mane of golden locks, merely shook his head, saying it was nothing, and smiled. He flashed another perfect, white-toothed smile, making all the fangirls swoon. A few even fainted from the sheer loveliness of it all.
However, though a little distracted, with his excellent hearing, Legolas heard a honk that sent shivers up the spines of all the fangirls and passers by. A huge semi trailer came around the bend, grinning maliciously.
Legolas knew at once that this was the Truckinator, the creature so evil he had only heard about it in myth. The fangirls scattered, as did the rest of the population nearby. But Legolas remained steadfast and un afraid. He glared defiantly up at the Truckinator, who was coming closer.
"Are you Legolas Greenleaf?" asked the huge thing, wanting to be sure that this beautiful creature before it was the right elf.
Legolas nodded resolutely. "That is Prince Legolas Greenleaf, to you," he said, reaching to his quiver for an arrow. "You must be the Truckinator." He glared. "How dare you come here, scaring my fangirls, my people, my worshipers! You shall pay for your insolence!"
He nocked the arrow to the string, but at that moment the Truckinator gave a mighty laugh, despite the fact that it seemed to sound a lot like a horn. Before Legolas knew it, the Truckinator was speeding towards him, each wheel deadly, headlights flashing, smoke rising from the exhaust pipe. Legolas fired his arrow, and much to his dismay it bounced right off the bull/elf bar.
The elf quickly fired two more in rapid succession, this time both arrows finding their mark. One punctured one of the rapidly spinning front wheels, the other breaking the windscreen. Legolas knew that this would wound the Truckinator deeply, but it would still be dangerous. Now the creature bored right down on top of the elf prince, and he fired more arrows, almost all of which penetrated deep into the flesh... err, metal of the Truckinator.
Then, when everyone thought all hope was lost, and Legolas was going to be squished by the giant wheels, the elf leapt lightly up and swung himself up onto the bonnet.
So, after a complicated maneuver, Legolas managed to position himself on the roof of the Truckinator, without even getting a single scratch. He aimed his final arrow directly at the engine and loosed it, leaping to the ground just in time.
The Truckinator exploded and was nothing more than a smoldering pile of twisted metal and tyres.
Legolas flashed his smile and dusted the single piece of dust off his shirt. He tossed his hair and rejoined his fangirls, having just saved the day.
The Truckinator was no more, and it would no longer terrorize handsome elves. Legolas had saved the world from evil, again. Sauron would be after the elf for being so pretty, but time and time again the clever prince of Mirkwood would foil his plans, saving the day. So except Sauron, and the Truckinator, who was now a burning pile of scorched metal, everyone lived happily ever after.
THE END.
Special thanks: This revised edition of 'The Revenge of the Truckinator' is dedicated to Leggie, without whom Aury would have had no reason to write this even better selling revised edition of the best selling book. Mwa haa haa haa