Hugh Collins was to say the least, mortified.
He sat on the outside of the house, head buried in his hands hoping to hide the clear redness of his face.
The day had started well, or as well as a day could when investigating a murder. He had been working with the inspector on another case and Miss Fisher was helping. It was horribly grizzly really, a serial killer who took particular delight in killing women in slow and painful ways.
They had received a tip off that someone with a high resemblance to their main suspect had been seen with a woman. Obviously there had been no time to waste; the three of them had raced to the house a few other constables in tow.
Jack had quickly taken control of the situation
"Collins I want you to take the top floor, Jones and Saunders take the ground floor!" he had cried.
Collins had raced up, revolver at the ready, he was completely alone- a fact which he was not totally comfortable with. He knew Jack and Phryne were somewhere, but it was a very large house and knowing Miss Fisher they were probably climbing up some drainpipe or had worked their way into an inconspicuous basement.
He stealthily moved through the house, or at least he thought it was stealthily but as Hugh Collins was not a man known for his grace of movement this wasn't entirely true. Still to his credit he only managed to nearly trip over twice.
He was moving through the top floor when he heard it; it was only muffled at first. He followed the source of the noise, the closer he moved the more obvious the noise became- faintly he could hear a woman.
The noise sounded like cries, moans perhaps, she sounded in pain. He sped up trying to follow the source of the sound; he needed to get there quickly.
It was louder as he drew closer to the closed door at the end of the corridor. The noises were getting progressively more stilted and noisy; he clicked the gun off safety. This was a maniac.
It was the woman's scream which finally caused him to run into the room kicking the door open and pointing his gun straight ahead.
"LET HER GO!" He cried before Hugh Collins promptly let out a rather unmanly scream.
His screaming was accompanied by the screams of the woman and the man who desperately tried to maintain their modesty she pulling the sheet up around her chest whilst his hands flew to try to cover his privates.
Apparently that woman's scream… was not a scream of pain.
Hugh tore his eyes away from the scene; horror written in every inch of his face, so shocked was he that he dropped his gun- which promptly proceeded to go off, which naturally induced more screaming.
"I'm sorry! Oh god I'm so sorry!" Hugh cried whilst still looking away. He began to try and feel his way to the door when Jack and Phryne burst into the room.
"Collins what's going on?" Jack asked surveying the chaos.
Hugh still averting his eyes looked utterly traumatised. "Ah well sir, you see, umm I heard sounds in the room, I thought…I thought…it was a victim he was torturing, I heard some cried sir and so I burst in trying to stop him and…" he trailed off.
It had taken every piece of strength developed from over a decade in the force for Jack not to laugh at the poor Constable. Phryne standing beside him was having a slightly harder time. He turned to look at her barely restraining her grin and raised an eyebrow at her.
"If you wouldn't mind Miss Fisher it would probably be best if you waited outside."
Phryne simply frowned at him and crossed her arms in an act of defiance.
Jack, although tempted to argue with her realised there was still a naked man with his hands over his crotch standing terrified beside the bed. So instead he made a hasty retreat.
"Our sincere apologies. If you would care to get dressed we can give you a full explanation and formal apology for the intrusion." He said dragging Phryne and Hugh out.
Hugh by this point looked about ready to cry from embarrassment whilst Phryne seemed to be quite enjoying herself. After a few moments the lovers opened the door once more to them, heads hung in shame. The man as it turned out was not the one they were after.
"Once more have our sincere apologies, we were looking for a potentially violent criminal, we received a tip off he would be here."
The man simply gave a meek nod.
"Clearly the uh…sounds coming from the room were giving a mistaken impression to the constable, he was after all looking for a dangerous man." Jack continued. "Naturally this event should not be mentioned again by any of us. We shall not speak of it." Jack announced finally.
"Thank you." The woman murmured.
There was an uncomfortable pause. Phryne surveyed the scene before grabbing the inspectors and Hugh's arms. "Well we'll just be off then."
As soon as they had got outside Hugh had virtually collapsed, it was hard not to feel sorry for him.
Phryne meanwhile watched him from afar. "Poor innocent Collins." She whispered to Jack.
"Well he would've had to learn eventually." Jack noted.
"Yes but generally you don't learn by walking in on the deed." Phryne noted "Unless there's something you want to tell me Jack?" Phryne teased.
"Don't be ridiculous Miss Fisher" He said seriously turning to leave but unable to resist leant in close a salaciously whispered in her ear.
"You learn far better from practice any way."