To the wife of Malachai Parker,
You don't know me.
You've never met me and you probably never will. But while you were away on your business trip, I was your daughter's nanny. While you dealt with work in another country all summer, I spent nights with your husband, ensconced in his arms, letting him mark me wherever he chose. I woke up entangled in his limbs, breathing in his scent as his fingers traced patterns along my skin. I undressed for him, spread my legs for him, let him take me on your bed.
I had an affair with your husband.
I wish I could say it was my ignorance and that I was duped into believing he was a single man, but the fact of the matter is, I knew. I knew from the start that Kai Parker was married to you, that your marriage was fairly stable, that you would always come first in his life, being the mother of his child and all. And yet, I still interjected myself between you both in hopes that I could potentially steer him away from you.
When I first came to Portland, it was never my intention to get embroiled in this whirlwind affair with a married man. I just wanted to have a peaceful summer vacation with my grandmother. It started out as just an itch I needed to scratch. An urge to try something new, to break the monotony of my life, to feel something for once. I regretted it immediately the first time.
And I wish I could say it happened once and that was it, but it didn't stop there. We didn't want it to stop there. And then came the point where I knew there was no turning back. I was consumed by it. By him. Before I knew it, I knew that I fell for him. I knew I wanted more from him. And above all, I knew that I needed him.
Despite everything I've done wrong and all the pain I've suffered from our trysts; despite all the sneaking around and the disappointment I have for myself and from my family; despite it all, I wouldn't change a thing that happened. I don't regret it one bit.
You see, I'm writing this letter, not as an apology for sleeping with the man you've given your life to, not as an apology for being an accomplice in aiding him to break his vows to you, and not as an apology for trying to take him away from you.
I'm apologising for falling in love with Kai.
It's crazy. It's stupid, and I know I should have known better when we first kissed him that this could only lead to heartbreak and pain and struggle, but I didn't know how to stop. I didn't want to stop. But it has happened, and I can't take it back, and I can't stop.
All I can do is say I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
The Other Woman