A/N:Just a quick heads up before anything else. If you haven't noticed, I have finished editing all the current chapters of Forget Me Not! If you haven't already, I suggest rereading the chapters so you know what's changed/for a refresher. I will hopefully update it with new chapters sometime this month or next month. Also, I mentioned a long time ago that I was working on a nsfw piece. I will not be uploading that here because I don't want it being taken down. Instead, you can find it on my tumblr account german-italian-ties. There should be a link labeled My Fiction and you just have to scroll down until you find the title 'The Art of Enjoyment' under One-Shots.
For this one-shot, I based it off of one of my experiences. It happened a long time ago, but it's still painful for me to remember it so I apologize if the sad part isn't as detailed as it should be. I was going to base it off of one of my friend's experiences, but this was originally a vent for my own sadness so I switched it back to my own experience. Enjoy!
EDIT: I forgot one line of text somehow. My bad. Also, I don't remember why I never mentioned this, but there is animal death in this story. I think I wanted it to be a big secret for some reason but that's not something that should be unannounced.
Feliciano bit his lip as he walked home from school, not paying attention to his surroundings. The brunet's focus was mainly on his phone as he stared at unanswered text messages.
-XX/XX/XXXX Mon-
Ludwig! Is it okay to meet you outside for lunch? I need some help with Pre Cal.
Lud? I didn't see you in class. Are you going to be late?
Kiku said he didn't see you at all today. Are you not feeling well?
-XX/XX/XXXX Tues-
Hey Ludwig? You weren't in school yesterday or today. Are you okay?
Kiku said he emailed you his notes. I can send you mine if you want. Though…they're probably not as neat as you like.
I sent you my notes. I know I'm not the best note taker but I can explain what happened in class today! If you have any questions, call me okay?
-XX/XX/XXXX Wed-
You weren't in class again today. You want me to tell you what you missed?
Feliciano sighed as he thought about Ludwig. The German always went and responded when he sent a message to him, yet it has been three days with no word. Kiku didn't even hear anything from him and that only made the Italian worry more. For the whole day, Feliciano had been paying more attention to his phone than class. He nearly got in trouble with his history teacher who thought he was using his phone to cheat on their pop quiz and his Pre-Calculus teacher nearly took his phone away. Kiku had done his best to reassure Feliciano that Ludwig was okay since.
"I'm sure Ludwig is fine." Kiku's words came back to Feliciano, "He's probably not feeling well and hasn't had time to reply. You know how Gilbert acts when Ludwig catches a simple cold."
Yeah, Feliciano knew very well how Gilbert reacted. He was a bit over protective of Ludwig, especially when the German got sick. If Ludwig was sick, that usually meant that he was forced to have bed rest and anything prohibiting that was taken away. But even then, Ludwig always found a way to send a message back. Feliciano thought, finally putting his phone away. It took him a moment to take in his surroundings and blinked in confusion. Before Feliciano was Ludwig's house. The Italian had thought he was almost home, but he had been so distracted he walked several blocks further than expected.
Ludwig… Feliciano bit his lip. He hadn't meant to walk this far but since he was here, he really wanted to go and check up on his friend. He took a step forward before looking back in the direction of his house. Ludwig never did like it when I came over unexpectedly. Feliciano thought, thinking back to the times the German scolded him in the past. If Ludwig wasn't feeling well, the Italian didn't want to stress him out or have him waste energy in lecturing him. But…
Feliciano looked up at Ludwig's house and nodded to himself before going up the German's porch to ring the doorbell. He could hear the chime of the bell from where he stood, but other than that everything was strangely quiet. Pursing his lips, the Italian wondered if anyone was home. Usually if anyone rang the doorbell, Ludwig's three dogs would begin barking. Both Ludwig and Gilbert have tried to stop this behavior, but the dogs never broke out of the habit since they always got excited over visitors.
Feliciano was debating whether he should leave or try the doorbell again when the door opened and nearly hit him. Jumping back, the Italian's eyes watched the door swing away from him before looking to see who answered.
"Feli?" Gilbert stared at the other in surprise before smiling, "It's been a while. What's the special occasion?"
"Hello!" Feliciano smiled back with a wave, "I was just wondering how Ludwig was doing. He hasn't been at school so…"
Feliciano's smile disappeared as Gilbert frowned and looked back in the house. He turned back with a sigh, looking exhausted. The Italian felt his body become ridged as his worry became worse and expected to hear really bad news.
"The past three days have been rough for us." Gilbert admitted.
"What happened?"
"…I'm not going to say. Ludwig might want to tell you himself though so why don't you come in. I'll show you to his room."
"I know where his room is Gilbert." Feliciano protested as the elder closed the door behind him, "I haven't been gone that long."
Gilbert didn't answer, leading the way upstairs to the second floor. Once they were outside Ludwig's room, Feliciano's hand reached for the doorknob only to be stopped by Gilbert knocking. He stepped back, seeing the platinum blond press his ear to the door as he leaned against it.
"You got a visitor Lutz." He called out.
Feliciano could only hear the faintest sound of mumbling, but Gilbert seemed to understand as he nodded to himself. He sighed and patted Feliciano's shoulder as he passed by. The Italian watched as he disappeared around the corner, feeling confused as he looked back to the door. Was he allowed enter now or should he wait outside until Ludwig opened the door? After a moment of uncertainty, Feliciano finally moved to open the door and peered inside.
Ludwig's room was usually neat and tidy. His desk that was placed under the window was always organized. Usually if he wasn't finished with homework, you could see the blond's work spread across the desk. Ludwig's backpack was always hung on the chair for easy access while he worked and placed on the seat once all of his work was complete. There was only one window to illuminate the small room, but it was enough to show off the few posters of bands the German liked and the trophies he won in the robotics club. But as Feliciano now looked, the room was dark.
With the only source of light coming from behind closed curtains, Feliciano could barely make out the posters, trophies, and the now cluttered desk. He saw movement on the bed as he walked through the doorway. Ludwig had been laying down with his back to the door, but was now sitting up to look at his visitor. There was more movement on the German's bed and Feliciano was surprised to see Blackie and Berlitz, Ludwig's Dachshund and German Shepard, on either side of him. That stumped him considering that his friend was normally strict about letting his pets up on furniture.
Maybe they snuck up on the bed. Feliciano theorized in his head. Ludwig's dogs loved to try and sleep beside him whenever the Italian slept over. But even as the German got comfortable, he didn't shoo them away; instead allowing both dogs to get more comfortable and lay their heads on his lap. Feliciano didn't notice Ludwig staring at him as the Italian watched him pet the dogs' heads. Once he finally moved his gaze upon his friend, Feliciano saw that Ludwig looked like he just woke up and… Were his eyes puffy? How sick was Ludwig?
"Feli!" Ludwig said in a loud voice as he waved his hand. He didn't sound sick so maybe he was merely recovering?
"Huh?" Feliciano blinked. Ludwig rarely raised his voice unless he wasn't paying attention.
"I asked why you were here."
Feliciano pulled out his phone, pointing to it as he answered, "You weren't responding to my texts…" Ludwig sighed in annoyance, looking like he was getting ready to lecture the poor Italian. After a moment of silence, Feliciano continued. "Are you okay?"
Ludwig seemed to freeze at the question before moving his gaze away to his lap. Blackie moved to lick his chin. He ran his hands over both dogs' heads in silence as Feliciano moved across the room to sit on the end of his friend's bed. Neither dog moved, not even sparing the Italian a glance. The brunet frowned at this matter with concern. Ludwig's dogs always came to greet him whenever he visited. What exactly was going on? Speaking of dogs… Feliciano looked around seeing that Aster, Ludwig's Golden Retriever, wasn't present. She was usually the first one to greet the Italian.
"Is Aster here?" Feliciano asked, looking around the dark room, "Or is she getting a bath?" Ludwig didn't answer, visibly becoming rigid. The Italian didn't see, focusing on trying to look about the room for his friend's dog. "Oh! Speaking of baths. Remember when I helped you give Aster a bath for the first time? Hahaha. I never saw her squirm so much before. Not only did I get wet, but I accidentally pulled you into the dog bath as well. We spent so much time chasing her around the yard and when we finally caught her, Aster was covered in mud!"
Feliciano laughed as he got up, deciding to look under the bed. He didn't see Ludwig shaking and blinking his eyes rapidly. Both dogs whined in response and moved closer to their master as the Italian's head popped up from his search. He couldn't see Aster anywhere and was about to ask Ludwig again where she was when he saw tears streaming down his friend's face.
"L-Lud?" Feliciano asked, getting up as fast as he could so he could aid his friend, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Ludwig didn't answer, shaking more as the Italian fretted about him. "Please tell me what's wrong! Should I get Gil?"
"A-Aster's dead!" He abruptly said and the Italian froze. Ludwig's hands shook from their place on either dogs' head, his voice shaking as he continued. "W-We don't know what happened. She was fine w-when I went to school, but then… I-I came home to f-find she was breathing funny. S-She d-d-didn't even greet me. She stayed laying down until I let her out, b-but was acting funny still. G-Gilbert took her to the h-hospital when he got home b-b-but…" Ludwig could barely keep himself from sobbing any longer.
Blackie and Berlitz moved to cover their master's face with kisses, pressing closer to him until he wrapped his arms around the both of them and buried his face in their fur. The German cried, and the fact it sounded like he was trying to stop his sobbing made Feliciano's heart break. The Italian himself felt his eyes sting from the news and his whole body seemed to have gone cold. He only moved when he heard Ludwig's crying become an occasional sniffle and sharp intake of breath. Feliciano felt useless. He had experienced loss before, but his only medicine was probably one Ludwig didn't want to consider.
Feliciano moved, his body feeling like static as he sat down beside Ludwig who barely responded. He watched, seeing his friend who once looked so strong before now looking pitiful by society's standards. No. Ludwig wasn't pitiful by any means. He was just experiencing the loss of a family member. He was still strong, but the German wasn't doing the strong thing. Feliciano wrapped his arms around Ludwig, feeling his friend stiffen up as he rubbed his arms.
"Let it out Ludwig." Feliciano stated, his soft voice filled with sympathy and sadness, "It's not good to keep all of that inside. Crying is the best way to heal." Ludwig choked out a sob and the Italian held him closer. "Come on. Let it out Lud. It's going to be okay."
With one last choked sob, Ludwig let go of his dogs in favor of burying his face in his friend's shoulder. He cried louder than Feliciano had thought possible and clung onto the Italian's school uniform as if it was a life line. Feliciano held Ludwig, giving him comforting touches as a few of his own tears slipped down his cheeks. The two of them stayed like that for a long time, both mourning for the loss of Aster. Even after Ludwig calmed down, neither moved; even if their current position was starting to become uncomfortable. The German's grip had loosened a while ago and his ragged breathing had finally calmed. Feliciano continued on to stroke his friend's hair, his own dry tears irritating his cheeks but he didn't move. He listened to Ludwig's soft breathing, believing the other had fallen asleep in his arms until he stirred.
Ludwig gave Feliciano a weak push and he let go, letting the German sit up. He pulled his blanket aside, revealing a tissue box and pulled some out for himself. As he cleaned the snot and tears from his face, the blond offered one to the other which he accepted. As Feliciano did his best to clean his cheeks, he took a glance at Ludwig to see if he was alright. He was a mess. Hair was matted to his forehead. Blue eyes almost looked bloodshot while the German's cheeks still looked pink after that long cry. Feliciano opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by a knock on the door.
"It's late, but lunch is ready if anybody is hungry." Gilbert said quietly from the doorway and Ludwig only nodded as he blew his nose with a new tissue.
As he walked away, Blackie and Berlitz ran into the room and jumped onto the bed to lick the blond's face. Ludwig's laugh was hoarse, but he smiled as he returned affection to his dogs. Feliciano watched with his own smile on his face. Ludwig may have not looked it, but he was feeling better.
"Thank you." The German murmured, looking over to the other.
"Anytime." Feliciano gave a light laugh, moving to squeeze his friend's hand, "I'm always here for you."
Ludwig smiled bigger, squeezing his hand back. "Why don't we go eat?"
The Italian nodded, getting excited about the idea of eating a well-deserved lunch as he helped his friend to his feet. Gilbert saw the two of them heading down and looked relieved to see his brother smiling as Feliciano recounted how his art teacher got startled by a fellow student's art project. He internally thanked the Italian for giving Ludwig the best medicine available: A shoulder to cry on.