A/N: My first Clintasha fic. The italicized stuff is all flashbacks. Enjoy! :D
"Is this really all that happened?" questioned Director Nick Fury. In his hand, he held my report from my most recent mission. "This is incomplete."
I sat still in the in the chair, unresponsive. The sunglasses hid any sign of a response from my eyes.
Fury's glare softened as he stared back at his reflection in the lenses. "The Council needs to know," he continued. "We need the whole story."
I stared ahead with an unreadable expression. Truthfully, there were things left out of my mission report…
I had been assigned on a mission to Paris to infiltrate an enemy base developing weaponry using blueprints stolen from S.H.I.E.L.D. I put in a request to have Nat as my partner, once again. Even though we were going to kill some baddies, we were still going to be in the city of romance, so I figured why not. After all, it's hard keeping our relationship under wraps when living in a penthouse with the blabbering alcoholic, a Norse god who doesn't know what's what here, the old man living in a young man's body, and the Doctor who can't be pissed off in the slightest. What I'm saying is, we're never alone, Nat and I. It's always the team- the Avengers. Not that I mind or anything, but when you've just spent four figures on a diamond ring, you kinda want to be alone with that special someone while popping the question.
So we were off boarding our plane, First Class, going under the aliases Caleb and Nicole Bailey. We took our seats and sat, awaiting the flight that was going to be far too long for my tastes. I noticed Natasha had a book with her. Me? I had nothing, other than what was in my suitcase. "Finally alone," I noted.
"Yes, dear," she replied. I could tell she was playing her character, my wife.
"Hey," I said gently, "We're alone here. No need to get all in character yet, right?"
She kept her eyes on her book while she replied to me. "They give me a part, I stick to it," she said boredly.
"Sounds to me like you just broke character, Mrs. Bailey," I whispered into her ear.
She rolled her eyes, but I noticed a smirk, followed by a subtle giggle.
"Wake me when we get there," I said. I leaned back against the headrest and loosened the tie around my neck before shutting my eyes. After a moment, I felt her fingers intertwine with mine.
I wasn't sure how long I was out for. All I remember was waking up with my head resting against her red hair. She, too, had fallen asleep. I felt her head resting on my shoulder and I was afraid that even the slightest twitch on my part would awake her. Nat was always a light sleeper. I stared down at my thigh to see that her warm hand was around my own. The simple gesture left me comforted and put my mind at ease…
Once we arrived in Paris, we checked into our suite and reverted back into ourselves, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff, two master assassins sent from S.H.I.E.L.D.
"So, dinner?" I asked her. I couldn't help but take note of an unopened bottle of champagne that had been left out for us. That was going to be perfect for later.
She stared up at me, her green eyes seductively luring me in. "I was thinking about maybe lying down for a bit." Her arms wrapped around my neck.
"That sounds even better," I replied slyly. My hands rested against her hips.
"Perv," she muttered.
"Hey, you implied it!" I retorted.
She raised a brow. "To sleep," she corrected me.
"You're giving me mixed signals, Nat," I warned her with a grin. I pulled away from her and hopped onto the King-sized bed. "Sleep it is, then!"
She kicked off her heels and crawled over to my side.
Her lips brushed against my neck and I turned to stare at her with a stoic expression. "Jeez, Nat, I'm sleeping. Can't you tell?"
She began to laugh, a musical sound that always made me feel comforted. Her mouth pressed against mine as she positioned herself on my lower chest.
My hands made their way up her dress, caressing the bare and milky flesh underneath.
Her fingers skillfully unbuttoned my shirt as she kept her lips pressed to mine. Soon enough, both of our clothes were gone. We laid in the bed, hips joining together as we became one. My name escaped her lips as she begged me for more. I never cared for my name, but hearing her say it made all the difference.
Afterwards, we simply laid there, staring into each other's eyes, holding hands. That's the thing about Nat and I, we didn't need to use words. Just by staring into those jade green eyes, I could read her so easily. Some would say it was due to the fact that we had been working together for so long, but I believed something completely different. I believed this was fate. My mind thought back to the tiny satin box that I had stashed between layers of clothing.
"What is it?" she asked.
The downside of our wordless communication. Nat could tell when there was something going on in my head. "I love you," I breathed. My hand reached out to stroke her cheek.
"You were spacing. What is it?" she asked.
For a moment, I was hesitant about bringing anything up. Ever since Fury assigned me to this mission and I bought the ring, I always imagined a moonlit proposal following a romantic dinner. That's the kind of guy I am. Classy and romantic… Maybe not all the time, but still. After a moment of silence, I spoke up. "Did you ever think about settling down, Nat?" I asked.
Her eyes seemed to narrow in disappointment. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know… just slow down…" Crap, maybe I screwed up a bit there.
"This is my job, Clint," she reminded me.
"Yeah, I know that, but I was thinking of us. Taking it slow, settling down…"
She shook her head and rose from the bed. "Not now, Clint…" she breathed.
My heart sank as I watched her naked backside walk to the bathroom. No. I didn't screw up. Nat just wasn't that kind of person. She lived for this life of spying and pretending, shooting and killing… She wasn't the kind to settle down.
My hand formed a tight fist.
"Agent Barton…" continued Fury.
I waited alone in the bed, listening to the sound of water falling from the shower. I grabbed my pants from the floor and slid them on. My gaze fixed upon my suitcase and I went through it until I held the tiny satin box in my hand. I lifted the lid and stared down at the diamond ring.
Eventually, Natasha emerged, her body wrapped in a towel as she went to grab her clothes from her own suitcase.
I snapped the box shut the instant the bathroom door opened and shoved it into my pocket. "I didn't mean what I said before," I began.
No answer, just the sound of a zipper.
"I love you, Nat," I admitted. "I don't want us to be a secret."
Natasha didn't bother to look my way as she cradled her uniform against her chest. Quickly, she headed back into the bathroom.
"Don't you love me, Nat?"
She stopped, and then shot me a cold glare. "Of course, you idiot."
"You're pissed," I noticed.
Her gaze was fixed upon the black cat-suit in her arms. "You know the Council will disapprove."
"We don't need their approval." My hand reached out to touch a lock of her dripping hair.
"We work for them, Clint!" she snapped. "We can't just disobey them!"
I felt myself slowly growing irritated with her. "So you're choosing them over me?"
"Look at me, Nat!" I didn't mean to yell, but knowing that she didn't feel the same frustrated me.
"Stop it, Clint!" she shouted back. Her fierce gaze met with mine.
"No! Not until you tell me why you don't want to be with me!"
"I do!" she yelled.
"Then why are you freaking out like this?!" I tightly grabbed her wrist.
"Dammit, Clint! If the Council knows we're together, do you think they'll keep partnering us up?!" she protested. "They'll just assume we're off fooling around- It's unprofessional!"
For a second, I swore I actually saw tears in her eyes. Regret washed over me in an instant. Suddenly, I felt like such an idiot. I released Natasha's wrist, only to have her slap me across the face. Hard. "Nat…" I rubbed my jaw, watching her dart off to the bathroom and slam the door behind her. "I'm sorry." My voice began to crack. "Nat?"
The ringing of her phone broke an uncomfortable silence. I stepped away from the bathroom door to allow for her to emerge and answer it.
"This is Agent Romanoff."
I watched her talk to Fury as though nothing had happened. How did she do it? How did she manage to play it off so coolly as though nothing ever happened while I stood in place, regretting ever opening my mouth… Deep down, part of me was starting to rue buying the ring in the first place. The cost wasn't the issue- it was the fact that she wouldn't accept it…
"We need to get to the factory," she informed me. "Suit up."
Of course she was already prepared. She was always at least three steps ahead of the game. Slowly, I approached my bag and grabbed my uniform.
"Your report feels incomplete, agent Barton," Fury noticed. "I can't go easy on you with this. What we're dealing with is serious…"
We snuck to the enemy factory that night in silence. Before breaking in, she flashed me a knowing look and I readied my bow.
"Let's talk later," she told me. "About us," she added in a hushed whisper.
The ring box I kept tucked away in the breast pocket of my uniform suddenly felt as though it were made of lead. "No," I said. "We're partners, Nat. You said it yourself. I'd rather have that than nothing at all."
She unexpectedly kissed me on the mouth. "Maybe the Council will cut us some slack," she coolly shrugged.
Before I could say anything in reply, she was off, running towards a back entrance. I slipped on my sunglasses and made my way to my post.
"Barton!" I was unaware that I had the Director shouting at me.
I spotted a guard on duty and thanks to my sharp shooting, he was down in a second. I jumped in through the nearest window of the run-down and seemingly empty factory. There were no sounds, only deafening silence. Carefully, with an arrow held steady on my bow, I wandered the darkened factory.
"'We entered the factory and went our separate ways,'" Fury recited as he read from my report. "'I took a man down and everything was dark'… Are you listening to me, Barton?" he snapped. "Talk to me!" He was starting to sound as though he was pleading with me. "All you've given me is that you boarded the plane and after arriving at the hotel, I contacted you. Then you give me this factory nonsense! What happened after, Barton?" He snatched the sunglasses from my face.
A light suddenly blinded me and an explosion made my ears start ringing. The only thing on my mind as I ran towards the explosion was her.
"The room was engulfed in flames," I said finally. "Then I managed to find Natasha…"
"They destroyed everything, Clint!" she hissed as she hugged me tightly.
"Mission failed, then. There's nothing we can do," I assured her.
"They took our blueprints with them…"
I ran a hand through her hair. "Stark can develop something better."
"That's not the point! We failed!"
I pulled her head against my chest. "Let's get out of here," I warned her. "The smoke's getting bad…" We still had a clear path unaffected by the flames to escape.
"Then I heard footsteps," I continued in a monotonous tone. "I saw a figure, shoved Nat away, and waited to get a clear shot…"
"Get out of here, Nat, I've got this guy!" The thick billows of smoke made it difficult to make out a clearer silhouette, so this was going to be a lucky shot. With my surefire aim, though, I didn't need luck.
"Clint, no!" she shouted.
Both of my fists were now clenched at my sides. "She saw that he had another grenade and was ready to throw it at me…"
I fired my arrow just as the grenade had been thrown. Over the sounds of the engulfing flames, I could hear his screams, followed by an explosion. "Nat?"
"She jumped out from behind me and shoved me aside." My voice cracked. "Then I looked around and I finally saw her…"
"Nat!" Amidst the thickening smoke, I could see her sprawled out on the concrete. I ran to her, ignoring the stinging of several newly-acquired scrapes on my arms.
"When I reached out to touch her…"
There was blood surrounding her body. "Nat!" I screamed, tears in my eyes. With a look of sheer terror in my eyes, I stared down at her side…
"She had been hit…"
"Nat!" I cried. Carefully, I reached out to touch her face. "Nat, come on. You're okay!" My voice was shaky, along with my hands which trembled violently. "Nat…"
As I continued, my hands began to quaver. "I felt sick. Like I was gonna puke or something…"
"You're strong, Nat! Come on, I'm gonna get help!"
"Agent Barton, you don't need to go any further," Fury begged. "We already know she was K.I.A-…"
I cut in before he could finish. "We're going home together,' I told her."
"Nat…" She wasn't moving. There was no heartbeat and no pulse. She had died instantly. Saving my life... I lifted her body, only to drop it as my hand brushed against the gaping wound and feeling the sticky wetness of an organ.
"I hurled. I honestly couldn't take it…" Tears fell from my once empty and expressionless eyes. "That was when I called you…"
After retching off to the side, I removed my shirt and wrapped her up in it before moving her outside.
"'Help me,' I said to you."
"Clint, please stop!" Fury barked.
"But my report was incomplete," I drawled. "You want my whole report?" My tone grew heavy as I rose from the chair. "I'm giving you my report. Right now! You and the fucking council!" I yelled, beating my fists on his desk.
"And I'm sorry for this," said Fury gravely. "I was unaware of the whole situation." He bowed his head and folded his hands behind his back. "Agent Romanoff remained a fighter until the end. She has always been one of our best agents." He glanced up and stared at me. "We won't forget her."
"I should've been the one to die…" I muttered in defeat.
"And leave her to grieve over you? Either way, Clint, someone would've died, leaving the other to mourn…"
I turned on my heel to walk away. In my hand, I clutched the satin box, stained with her blood.
The flight home was unbearable. S.H.I.E.L.D. had sent Nick Fury over on a private jet to come and get me. In one hand, I held the ring box while in my other arm, I held the urn containing her ashes. I had told her that we would go home together. This wasn't how I had imagined it, though. Our arrival was supposed to be happy. The last conversation we had replayed through my mind. It all seemed so promising. Natasha sounded as though she was willing to accept a relationship. Now, I just felt alone.
I made my way to Nat's room, so empty and lonely. I laid down on her bed and buried my face in her pillow. Her sweet scent still lingered and hot tears clouded my eyes. My arms embraced the pillow and I felt like a child. "Nat," I choked. I needed her, but I couldn't get rid of her. I scanned the rather plain room and felt her lingering presence. The thought of seeing her dead and lifeless corpse left me scarred. I close my eyes and there she is… a gaping wound at her side. I was trapped in a nightmare I could never wake from. Off to my side where her pillow had been was her gun. For a moment, my mind went completely blank. I was mesmerized by Nat's weapon of choice. My fingers grasped the cool handle and cradled it between my clammy palm. "We'll be together, Nat," I whispered before I could taste metal on my tongue. My aim with an arrow was always exceptional. The same went for a gun.