The Origin of Vodka
Despite the relatively nice weather here Russia was dressed in his long coat and scarf, as per usual. Poland stood an arms length away dressed in a brown pant and vest with yellow tinted shirt combo, hair tied back out of his face. Poland flipped through his text messages to the one he had gotten from America the week before with a brief message and high school address in it. He yelled to Russia to get his attention, looked at the address on his phone one more time before declaring,
"Yup, we've got the right place"
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"Ok, dudes quick run down on the two"
America exclaimed to both Poland and Russia.
"They both know English real well, so no problems there- but well…"
The pause stretched, awkwardly, and slowly on until Poland pushed him along telling him to "get on with it" Still America remained silent, Thinking about how to carefully word his next statements. Russia and Poland exchanged looks but stayed silent as well. America grumbled out something about how "-all the other Poles were fine with him…" Poland was about to ask, that is before he saw the thoughtful look america was giving them both, "I really need you-" he paused and begrudgingly gestured to Russia as well "BOTH, to do something" Poland smirked a bit, "hmmm that bad huh?" he replied leaning back on the heels of his feet, arms crossed.
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The argument could be heard before they had even opened the door. Poland and Russia expected as much, but suddenly a voice expressed it's exasperation louder than the other's.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS" one teen yelled in an unbelieving voice which clearly seemed to ask 'is it possible to be that stupid'.
the other was the ice to the fire, "completely"
"Are you trying to tell me woda and vodka sound NOTHING alike to you!?" 1The other snapped with venom.
"-And yet, when people think vodka, what country do they think of?"
"Why you little-"
America cleared his throat grabbing the attention of the two teen boys sitting at the table in the school council office.
"Lukasz will you please remove your hands from his neck, you'll get detention again" America asked.
A boy with ash blond hair held back with an elastic, quickly did as told. He seemed to just have noticed America was not alone, slightly embarrassed he looked at the wall like it was covered in beautiful art. The other student, similar in hair color, wore his hair down it being a bit longer than Russia's himself. The similarities the two held made them look related, it was a bit creepy. However, The two other nation soon forgot all about it when America shot them a look clearly telling them not to bring it up.
"Pol-Feliks", America corrected quickly, ''This is Lukasz Wieczorkowski2" he said gesturing to the first teen.
Poland gave a mischievous smile to Lukasz,
"don't kill anybody" he replied sarcastically.
Lukasz in turn gave Poland the same look,
"Nice to meet you too" he replied in good humor.
American turned to then looked at the next teen, "Ivan meant, well..Ivan, Ivan Darenkov"
Russia smiled cheerily, "Nice to meet you Ivan, what a coincidence, da?"
The teen looked at him coolly before he too broke into a grin,"The pleasure is mine"
America smiled inwardly, I hope they know what they are getting into…..
"Lukasz , Ivan, These two guys are from Poland and Russia! I thought maybe they could help with whatever seems to be making the two of them 'dislike' each other" he added "maybe even help you them in America!" That seemed to get their attention, The board Polish student looked up from the wall, which had to count for something American thought.
"Im gonna leave you two at it then, good luck" he slipped in as an afterthought. America quickly opened and shut the door behind him before the other two could think to ask him what he meant by "good luck".
Poland turned to Russia "Well that's comforting" Russian nodded numbly.
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Russia and Poland both sat opposite of the two teens which were from their respective countries.
"Well," Poland was the first to speak, "now that he's gone why don't you two start from the top"
Lukasz seemed taken back, "What? you actually want us to fight"
"How else are we going to find the problem?"
There was a long silence as neither of the boys started to fight as they had when the two nations had first walked into the room.
"From what I see, you two not jumping onto eachothers throats the moment I give you the ok and all, I've come to the conclusion that you two don't hate each other you just end up provoking each other from time to time" Poland let it sink in a moment longer as he collected his thoughts and started again, "If it's something cultu-" Lukasz looked at the ground and bit his lip.
"Co to jest?"3 Poland asked hushed.
Lukasz looked up to him,
"It's stupid but it's a matter of pride"
"tak to jest kulturalne?"4
The other let out a long sigh, before he begrudgingly agreed,
"Tak"5
Poland sat up in his chair, he knew he was right. Russia raised an eyebrow at the pair before he asked Poland in one word what on earth he was so proud about.
"So..?"
"Oh nothing" Feliks grinned back.
"Я чувствую что они говорят о нас."-Ya chuvstvuyu chto oni govoryat o nas*"
The kid, Ivan, cut in.
Lukasz looked towards the heavens before offhandedly adding "Вы настолько глупы." -Vy nastol'ko glupy.
Poland admits that the look he gave Ivan must have been priceless, as if to say "did you know he spoke Russian?" Darenkov looked taken back as well, Then he looked sick.
"Shit does this mean you understood all those times I-"
"Yup" The Pole looked at him then back out the window on the other wall,
"every single time." Then he smirked,
"The least you could have done was pronounce my name correctly in your angry little rants, Darenkov"
Ivan sputtered a bit, "You've got to be joking I could have it written on paper and I still wouldn't remember what the hell it was, Wierchokooski"
Lukasz tsked,
"correction,Wieczorkowski" Then he smirked, "with a 'V' "
"then Why does it have a 'W' in it? what the Hell is up with 'cz' and 'sz' both being in your fucking name?!" Ivan rambled.
Lukasz laughed lightly while leaning back in his chair,
"Don't question the Poles"
Feliks could agree with that he thought chuckling slightly.
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Doing an entire 180 Feliks asked the boys once again what seemed to make them hate each other so much. Sure there was a whole lotta water under the bridge for Poland and Russia, but he doubted that would bother them now in the U.S. so what was it?
"I just don't like him" they both answered in near unison, "They are trying to turn it into a national thing, but it's not"
"then this has nothing to do with vodka hmm?" Poland pried, he turned to Russia, in a mock voice he asked dramatically, "Ivan, WE wouldn't happen to know the true origins of vodka would we?"
Russia kept the charade going supplying the next words which hopefully would get the two boys to crack, "Oh, I wonder, I'm sure we could remember if we tried"
Lukasz snapped in immediately,
"It was Poland it had to have been!"
Ivan was not much farther behind yelling over the Polish boy, "No way! it was Russia!"
Russia and Poland exchanged sly looks, "Do you really want to know?" asked Russia
"YES!" They both yelled. Poland and Russia shared one more look before stating proudly,
"It was Poland"
"It was Russia"
One then two seconds went by, Poland and Russia looked at each other for a third time each pointing to themselves. What happened next couldn't have been stopped.
"I believe you're mistaking Feliks, Russia invented vodka"
"I think your English is getting bad Ivan, I think you meant to say POLAND"
"No, I'm certain my English is just fi-"
"Ty głupi Ruski, Polacy wynaleźli wódkę!"8
"Ваша глупая маленькая страна никогда не могла придумать что-то важное!"
-Vasha glupya malen'kaya strana nikogda ne mogla pridumat' chto-to vazhnoe!"9
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Lukasz and Ivan sat watching the mess then turned to each other, a shared message was sent and they both shot of from their seats and ran for the door. Lukasz stood in the door frame read to slam the door shut, but called out first, "Było śmiesznie, ale może to tak zostawmy!"10
~Thus, the world may never know who invented vodka~
1 Polish: water/woda Pronunciation: Voda
2 Polish: Pronounced (ready for it?): Wucash Vyechorkovski
3 Polish: What is it?
4 Polish: So it is cultural?
5 Polish: Yes
6 Russian:I feel like they were talking about us
7 Russian: You're so stupid
8 Polish: You idiot Russian, The Polish invented vodka!
9 Your silly little country could never come up with it - it's too important!
10 Polish: It was fun, but lets just leave it be!
Thank you so much to two guest and SernaJ ( u/4626239/SernaJ) For Polish and Russian corrections, They where much needed!