Just a few words for the end of Glee as we know it.
See what you think—and yep—getting right back to It's Not Like…
New York both was and wasn't what Rachel imagined it would be. Finn's grand gesture—putting her on a train—was and she had to admit, after crying for hours, pretty and romantic but it was ultimately a little strange. School wasn't starting for three months, after all. A summer by herself. She supposed she'd had to be gotten out of the way before he changed his mind or she changed it and that was understandable in a very 'them' way. Her dads had completely bought in and had sublet a micro-apartment for her until school and the dorms were open.
Finn texted her every day but seemed to think calling was something an ex-fiance shouldn't do. She didn't push and he hadn't been kidding. Basic training. She was a romantic but she wasn't stupid. Finn very deeply wanted something very far away from what she wanted. She hadn't known it and knowing she hadn't known her lover was thinking of things, needing things and wanting things he'd never felt able to share with her was strange. Or maybe it really ultimately wasn't. Everything felt shaken up, rattled into order and strangely hyper-real when she was all alone in New York.
Kurt texted her every day. He was funny and self-deprecating and she felt like she wanted to murder the people at NYADA because now she and Kurt had to pretend he wasn't dying inside in Lima, Ohio and she was having to pretend New York was awesome but not 'rubbing it in' awesome.
When it really wasn't. Turning over in bed night after night, she was ashamed that she wished she were home and he was here because maybe he'd handle it better than she was.
Her fathers talked to her every day. Another set of happy lies. Yes, things were great! Wow! New York!
Wow.
She was alone and friendless in the most intensely beautiful, promising and frightening city on planet Earth. A city that met her energy and punched her right back in the face with so much more than she had or was. Even though she was physically small, she'd never felt little. She felt tiny in New York. The idea of being comfortably alone and completely friendless in Lima seemed like a sweet, sweet dream.
She sang a mix of hopeful songs to herself very quietly in her little apartment every morning. Very, very quietly. So she wouldn't make her neighbors, whose faces seemed to look down on her and whose names she didn't know, mad.
Quinn Fabray: Rachel?
Rachel Berry: Quinn? Wow
Quinn Fabray: Hi
Rachel Berry. Hi
Quinn Fabray: It's been 26 days since you left
Rachel Berry: I'm sort of flailing here even hearing from you but yes
Quinn Fabray: Don't. Don't flail. 26. 2+6 = 8. Kick eight over on its side and you have the sign for something without mathematical limit. Infinity, okay?
Long, long pause.
Rachel Berry: Okay.
Quinn Fabray: That's how much I miss you
Rachel Berry: Quinn
Quinn Fabray: Rachel, can you go outside?
Rachel Berry: Yes
Quinn Fabray: Do so
Rachel Berry: Okay
Quinn Fabray: While you're walking, I hate to be the one to inform you that Lima in summer, even after graduation, is exactly as exciting as it's always been
Rachel Berry: Oh—well. I guess I should say sorry?
Quinn Fabray: You should be—you left and sucked every bit of interest out of this place
Long, long pause.
Rachel Berry: Is this a joke?
Quinn Fabray: Good catch. It's called text Rachel and talk about infinity with her because it pays off for me because…oh wait…feel free…answer in your own time
Rachel Berry: You're completely baffling
Quinn Fabray: And that's a better b word than the usual for me. Are you outside yet?
Rachel Berry: Yes
Quinn Fabray: Look up—there's a full moon tonight
Rachel Berry: So there is
Quinn Fabray: I'm outside, too, okay?
Rachel Berry: Okay
Quinn Fabray: We're looking at the same moon, Rachel
Long, long pause.
Rachel Berry: Yes
Quinn Fabray: You're not alone
Rachel Berry: How did you know I needed to know that?
Quinn Fabray: Because you're my friend
Rachel Berry: I still really find it hard to believe that
Quinn Fabray: Believe it
Rachel Berry: Okay
Quinn Fabray: Go inside and lock your door. Wanna watch a movie together?
Rachel Berry: Really?
Quinn Fabray: Yeah
Rachel Berry: Your choice. Please be snarky
Quinn Fabray: Looking around, up, down, behind me. When am I not?
Rachel Berry: Sigh. I had to write that because I just did that
Quinn Fabray: Sigh right back
Rachel Berry: Quinn
Quinn Fabray: Rachel
Rachel Berry: Shhh. I'm ordering Chinese. Find a movie
Quinn Fabray: Rachel?
Rachel Berry: Quinn?
Quinn Fabray: I'm smiling
Long, long pause.
Rachel Berry: It's so strange to be here by myself
Long, long pause.
Rachel Berry: But I'm going to be okay, right?
Quinn Fabray: Of course you are, Rachel
Rachel smiled.
Two more tiny chapters and out—and back to It's Not.