I don't think anyone realizes how much this is really bugging me though: y brother was the reason i continued to intake oxygen on a daily basis

I don't think anyone realizes how much this is really bugging me though: y brother was the reason i continued to intake oxygen on a daily basis. He was the reason i woke up, and the reason why i haven't died yet. he was my world; i worshipped the ground he walked on, i cherished the air in the rooms he'd been in. every time he even poked me, i had butterflies in my stomach and my heart was on warp speed, like it was going to fly randomly out of my eye sockets and hit someone at full speed, probably resulting in several deaths. He was and is the only person i have ever really, truly loved. I will always love him. He'll always have a part of me with him, even though he may not realize it. I feel so incomplete. Even after he's hurt me and ripped me so many times, i still feel so incomplete when I'm not even near him. Just knowing that he'll never feel the same way about me is enough to bring me to hysterics. I've never felt so strongly about anything or anyone in my entire life. Nothing compares to how much I love Itachi. I never really understood what people meant when they say "i miss you so much or i love you so much it hurts" or "this love or this distance is killing me" but now i do and now i can see how it really is killing me. It's tearing me apart, i can feel it. Every day since he ended my reason for existing, I've felt a part of me crumble inside of my soul; I've felt something go missing again, never to be found. I don't know how much more of this i can handle. If he only knew or began to comprehend how much this meant to me, or how much it's hurting me, i think he'd at least try to talk to me. He hasn't tried to talk to me. I don't blame him for killing the clan anymore, I hated him for that, hated him, But I still loved him, and I always will. Time won't heal anything; time was never, never on my side. I won't move on. I've tried. Oh, believe me; I've tried so many times, but i keep retreating to my old ways of loving him so very much. i can't smile, at least not really .yeah, when something's amusing I'll smile and laugh and take in the moment, but i can feel it and even see it on myself ; it's not genuine. I just can't take it anymore. It truly is impossible to make it through.