I was home alone. Nobody to bother me. I was sitting on the couch, flipping my coin. I wanted to use, I wanted to. But some thoughts made me not want to. I sat there for hours just flipping the coin around in my hand. I wanted the drugs right now. I knew a place on the side of the streets where I could get some. That guy had good stuff. I just sat for a long time. I knew I was supposed to be at work. But who cares right? Who would even care if I wasn't at work today? Owen would but he's not here. Meredith? Maybe. I flipped the coin a few more times. I really wanted the drugs. I couldn't help it. I sat the coin on the coffee table and got up to grab my things. I grabbed my coat and headed out the door. I drove around for awhile and then finally found the guy on the streets. I asked for a bag and he gave me one. I was back in my car headed home. The only place I wanted to use, was home. I got back home sat my purse on the counter. I stood there in the kitchen. Then I took out the bag. There's no one to stop me. I reminded myself. I opened the bag, poured out the five pills of oxy, crushed them and then swallowed them.
I couldn't remember what day it was. It seems although I had lost track of time. Why can't I just give myself a vacation is that too hard to ask?
I was back on the couch, lying down when I heard the knock on my door. Who could possibly want to visit me? I thought. I got up anyways to answer the door.
"Dr. Shepherd?" Edwards asked me. I was very surprised to see her at my doorstep.
"What do you want Edwards?" I asked her.
"Well. Umm. You've been gone a couple of days. More like two weeks. And I'm worried and so are people at the hospital. I was supposed to be on you service last week but uh you weren't there." she tells me.
"I'm taking a break." I explain.
"You didn't notify anyone." Edwards said.
"Because I just wanted time off okay! You know I had a lot on my plate. I just wanted a break!" I say loudly.
"Dr. Shepherd are you alright?" she questioned. I give her a look.
"What kind of question is that?! I'm fine Edwards. Go save lives." I told her while walking back into my house and closing the door on her.
It felt like another couple of days and again I hear a knock at my door. This time Dr. Webber and Meredith.
"You look awful." Dr. Webber said.
"I'm fine." I tell him.
"You're not fine Amelia. I know that and so does the whole hospital." he said. I look away.
"You're a drug addict. Yes I know that. And to me, Meredith and Edwards, it looks like you're using again." he says.
"I'm not using." I tell him.
"But you are Amelia." Meredith adds in.
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shout at them.
"Amelia let us help you." Meredith trys to say.
"I don't need your help." I say and again close the door.
That night I sit in bed and hear my phone ring. It was Addison. I answer it.
"Amelia don't go anywhere. I'm taking the next flight out to Seattle. Okay? Amelia please let us help you. We're all coming up." she said. She hung up before I could say another word.
I wake up to Addison sitting at my bedside.
"You need to stop." she said.
"Go back to LA."
"Amelia, please." she said softly. Then, I hear a knock on the door.
"Its Sheldon." the voice said.
"Sheldon I don't think it's best for you to come in right now." Addison told him.
"I would rather talk to Sheldon then you Addie." I said to Addison. I could tell Addison did not appreciate me saying that. Addison got up and it looked like she wanted to say something but didn't. She opened her mouth and then closed it.
"If it takes only Sheldon, to get through to you, then I'll leave." she told me and opened the door to leave. Sheldon slowly walked over to me.
"Amelia." he said calmly.
"Can you just tell everyone to leave me alone?" I ask. He sits on the bedside.
"You know we're just trying to help you." he said. I didn't respond right away.
"I'm a terrible doctor." I told him.
"No, you're not. You're one of the best doctors I know." he tells me.
"No, I'm not. I'm a junkie doctor who overdosed with her boyfriend." I said.
"Who told you that?"
"A patient once. Its okay though."
"Amelia, can you take my advice?"
"What?"
"Go to rehab please?" he asks.
"For a third time?" I questioned back.
"It doesn't matter how many times you go. What matters is that you'll have your life back the way you want. Come on." he said holding out his hand waiting for me to take it. I didn't. I wanted more oxy but I was out. I shook my head.
"No, Sheldon."
"Amelia." he says quietly.
"NO! I said no, I won't go back to rehab." I yell at him. He gets up.
"If you won't take my advice, I don't know who you'll listen to." he says leaving the room.
Addison POV
I sit downstairs on the couch, waiting for Amelia to come down with Sheldon. But all I see is Sheldon coming down alone. I looked at him and he shakes his head.
"I tried." he tells everyone.
"Is there anybody at the hospital that'll try and get through to her?" Violet asked.
"Nobody, expect for Owen. Who is gone. Away in the army." I tell her.
"What about Meredith? Her sister in law?" Violet then suggests. I shake my head.
"We can't let her be like this. She'll end up dead." Charlotte says.
"What if I want to die?" We all hear Amelia ask as she comes down the stairs. I watch her go over to the counter.
"Amelia, please don't do this." Violet says. Amelia looks down and then back up.
"Go get me drugs. Please." she replies. At this point I get up.
"Amelia, no." I say.
"I WANT THE DRUGS!" she shouts. I turn to Jake.
"I don't know if I can go through this again." I tell him softly.
"Amelia, we are your friends. Let us help." he said.
"If you want to help me. Then go get me some oxy!" she yells.
"Amelia-
"No, don't Amelia me. I'm tried of putting up with everyone." she shouts again.
"Amelia!" I said loudly.
"Just get out. All of you. Get out of my house. NOW!" she yells. I stand there, looking at her eyes. I know her well enough to know that face.
"Lets go Jake." I say to him.
"What? Seriously, you're going to let her be like this and let her ruin her life?" he questions.
"She won't let us help, so lets just leave." I tell him walking out of Amelia's home.
"Thank you. Thank you for listening everyone. Great talk." Amelia says as everyone else leaves the house. Now Amelia stands hopeless in her empty house.