Love is something perishable, taintable, but friendship can be immortalized for a lifetime.
xxx
Christa liked many things about Ymir but she would never allow herself to voice any of them. For all her personal reflections, she'd only recently come to the realization that she liked the taller woman at all though it had hardly been surprising.
That was one of the things she liked about Ymir. Her height. She towered over Christa; occasionally intimidating but most times it was comforting. It was a feeling she could only vaguely associate with a very old memory she couldn't clearly recall anymore. Christa felt as safe in her shadow as she did in her arms and that made her happy.
Oh, that was definitely another thing. Not just her arms but all of Ymir's body was strong and muscle hard and prime for battle. Christa loved it. Every inch of her was a warm gold covered in freckles and scars, curves and divots where hard earned muscles sloped across her skin. Ymir would likely never think herself beautiful for these same reasons and Christa would likely never find the courage to tell her.
There were many other things that she cherished about Ymir, things unrelated to the physical. For all of her posturing, Ymir didn't want to be regarded as the man she seemed to strive for. Of course she was tougher than nails and her personality was far from feminine but she was still a girl. She knew that, Christa knew that. Everyone knew that – and it didn't bother her at all. She was content being the girl who could beat up plenty of men and Christa was happy to clean her wounds up afterward.
Her devotion was another thing. Christa never would have thought she'd apply that word to Ymir when they first met and she'd had doubts about both of them making it out of the forest alive. It seemed like an eternity had passed since they'd trekked through the blizzard that had ultimately bound them together. So unexpected but here they were, fighting alongside each other and even sharing bunk space. They trained together, they ate dinner together, they bathed together. They were practically inseparable and Christa would not have wished for anything different.
Her presence was comforting and reassuring, everything that Christa could have ever asked for in a partner. She wanted to kiss Ymir, to thank her for that kindness, to tell her how much she adored her but in the end Christa knew that was an impossibility. Not for social stigma, not for parental backlash, not for the ridicule of their squad. She could never allow herself that happiness because she cared too much for Ymir. She quite possibly loved her and it would have been cruel to allow that feeling to take root in reality because at any given moment either of them could die.
It was a sad truth but a truth none the less. Ymir could be devoured the next mission they were sent on and if Christa allowed herself to speak the words she so desperately wanted to whisper then where would she be? Desolate. Heartbroken. Alone. The same as before and it will have been like Ymir never existed in the first place and Christa could never, ever allow that to happen.
She swore to herself that she would hold Ymir's friendship close to her heart, closer than her love for Ymir, because that could never be taken away from Christa. Not even in death.
xxx
This is little more than a practice piece. I'd like to get myself back into writing and the only way to do that is with practice. And yeah, I ship it.