A/N: Before you review me, let me just assure you I understand how AU this is. Just sit back and enjoy the smutty delusion with me, okay?
It was happening again.
Though they swore, promised, and even locked pinkies last time- emphatic in their conviction that this would never again occur, it was happening again.
Tenzin couldn't be sure how it began this time. One minute he was having a casual chat with his fellow council member and the next he was struggling to remove her belt.
It was early afternoon at the time when stomachs begin to growl and mouths begin to open as reluctant yawns escape that he received a note from Kanut, explaining that he would be stopping in for a moment to discuss security measures for the upcoming Harmony Festival. It was a city-wide event, drawing thousands of visitors from every corner of the globe. They came to see the great city, they came to dine in its fine restaurants, but mostly they came to glimpse the last occupied Air Temple in the world.
Tenzin and his family were such an attraction that the seaside was practically impassible during the festival and most of the docks were closed in fear of any fanatics hitching a ride across the bay.
In short, security was tight. It meant long waits for the ferry, it meant invasive checks at the dock, and it meant Lin. His heart beat in time with the sound of her metal-clad footfalls coming down the hall just beside Kanut.
They entered Tenzin's office and he addressed Lin- calm and professional. Lin bowed her head, polite and impersonal. Kanut stood between them, suggesting measures both could take to ensure a safe week of celebration.
"I don't think any of my team need to present on the island this year. The White Lotus are there for the Avatar, of course, but I think that should be enough security. Wouldn't you agree, Councilman Tenzin?" Lin's cool stare caught him and Tenzin had to swallow once before replying.
"Yes, I think that should be sufficient," Tenzin returned, just as Kanut's fist slammed his open palm and his lips pursed.
"You'll have to forgive me," he began, "All this talk about dock security has reminded me that I have a meeting with the fisherman's union in less than five minutes. Please excuse me."
Lin and Tenzin met panicked eyes, both quickly realizing if they didn't act now they might be left alone in a room together, which was the number one point on their list of 'Things to Avoid.'
"I'll walk you out," Lin offered, turning.
"No, no, no…" Kanut insisted waving his hand at her, "you and Councilman Tenzin have so much to go over- please don't let my absence hinder your planning."
"We'll all meet another time," Tenzin offered quickly.
"It's quite alright," Kanut reiterated, "I'll show myself out."
He made his way to Tenzin's office door in a hurry. He grabbed the handle and scowled, "Goodness it's noisy out here," he commented, "I'll give you two some privacy."
He pulled the heavy doors closed in his wake and Tenzin was left standing in his large cavernous office with the first and last person he wanted to be alone with.
She sighed, looking up at the vaulted ceiling as she asked, "Is this some kind of cosmic joke?"
Tenzin shook his head slowly, "If it is- it's not very funny."
"I'm going to go," Lin told him solidly, though her feet didn't move at all.
"I think that is for the best," he agreed, catching her eye again.
They stood in silence a moment, gathering the will to move apart and defy the spirits, which had so obviously planned such a divine intervention of fate.
Tenzin sighed, audibly, "I wish it didn't have to be this way."
"It does," she shrugged, looking away with her arms crossed protectively. She felt his hand on her cheek, fingers sliding along her jaw to cup her face sentimentally.
"I wish I didn't want to do this," he exhaled, taking a step closer, "or this," he finished as his lips met hers.
Their kiss was soft, sweet like it was the very first. They felt as if each kiss lately was their first, or perhaps their last. It was an ongoing situation that each continued to acknowledge as a single, solitary instance. Lying to themselves was becoming almost as exhausting as lying to everyone else, but that exhaustion disappeared each time their lips met.
They were suddenly alive with feeling- their senses heightened so that the lightest touch was charged with unimaginable electricity. His lips pulled away from hers, but he stayed so close that their noses touched and he sighed again.
"Tenzin…" she warned. It was an empty warning, uttered for her benefit as much as his. Her hands came to rest at his sides, slowly wrapping around his waist.
"I know," he agreed, eyes closed.
"Anyone could walk in," Lin continued in a quiet murmur.
Tenzin opened his mouth to reply, but felt the weight of her hand disappear from his hip- followed by a snap of the fingers and sound of the lock on his door clicking shut.
He pulled back slightly to catch her eye, understanding that sound was like a starting pistol, signifying the beginning of their race to devour one another before their sense returned.
Tenzin gripped her face, kissing her passionately as his fingers became lost in her hair. He inhaled- seeking her air, which was unlike the rest- untamable. It was something he could never bend to his will but fought desperately to capture if only for a moment.
She gave it to him without hesitation, bringing her arms up to wrap around the back of his neck, drawing him down to her level. His own hands traveled down, dauntless in their pursuit of her body beneath the metal armor. He began with her belt, attempting to remove it with a single hand. His effort was paused as she pushed against him, urging him into a chair wordlessly. Lin climbed onto his lap, straddling him where he sat as his hands went back to work on her belt. Their lips never lost contact with each other as he moved- tugging and fiddling until he finally had to break away and gripe, "what is wrong with this thing?"
It was a rare moment of lightheartedness in their reckless endeavor and Lin let go of a small laugh, undoing the belt herself.
"I suppose I'm in charge of the rest as well," she mused, bending her fingers in and then out to remove her armor. There were two clicks as it unlatched at her sides and then a knock.
The knock was on the door.
They met horrified eyes and Lin scrambled up, locking her armor back into place and latching her belt. Tenzin stood, albeit a bit awkwardly, grateful for the loose robes that would disguise his excitement.
Lin smoothed out her hair once as the second knock came from the doorway, she and Tenzin met eyes and her fingers snapped, unlocking the door.
"It's open," Tenzin announced as evenly as possible.
The two of them stood, trying in vain to appear casually engaged in a professional conversation just before the desk in his office.
The handle turned once and the council clerk, Bao appeared in the doorway. He jostled the handle again once, watching it suspiciously, "Hmm. I thought this was locked."
He looked up, quickly discerning something was amiss by their body language alone. It was far too put on, much too impersonal to be realistic and he decided not to comment. Instead his eyes darted about the room awkwardly as he explained, "Sorry to interrupt, Councilman. You wife is here. She wanted to know if you are available for lunch?"
Lin's face paled and Tenzin swallowed, nodding, "Yes. Yes of course. Please send her in."
Bao nodded, slipping back out the heavy doors into the hallway. Lin gathered a breath, shooting one nervous glare in Tenzin's direction just as the door swung open again.
Pema breezed in, basket in hand, "Hello, dear," she greeted him, "I was at the market and I thought I'd stop in and—" she paused, finally spotting Lin, "Oh. Hello, Lin."
"Pema," Lin nodded curtly, "I'm sorry. I was just leaving. Tenzin- just let me know if you need any extra officers on the island."
Tenzin nodded, "we were just discussing the security measures for Harmony Week," he provided hastily, causing both women to side-eye him.
"Anyway," Lin continued, "enjoy your lunch."
"Actually, Lin," Pema interjected just as Lin moved to exit, "I was thinking we could use a few extra officers…for the children."
Tenzin interjected, "Pema, I think the children are perfectly safe as is. The presence of the metalbending police would only make them feel less secure…."
Pema gave him a skeptical look then directed her attention back to Lin, "that's what he thinks. You know I could probably just use the extra security to protect them from themselves. You should have seen Meelo earlier," she continued only to pause when catching the uneasy look on Lin's face, "Sorry," she apologized, "I won't bore you with the story- I know you aren't much of a kid person."
Lin blinked, lips thinning into a smirk, "Right. Well, just let me know what you two decide," she managed to say before finally taking a step past Pema to make her way out of the office.
Tenzin watched the door close and his wife turned to him with one raised eyebrow, "She's still got feelings for you. You know that, right?"
Tenzin laughed, a little too heartily, "Lin?"
"Yes, Lin," Pema returned obviously, making her way to take a seat in the chair they'd just recently vacated.
Tenzin gave a non-committal shrug as he took the seat across the desk. He was sweating too badly to say anything that wouldn't instantly rouse suspicion. He watched as Pema opened the basket in her lap and began pulling out small bamboo steaming baskets that smelled heavenly.
She slid one across the desk to him with a smile, "vegetarian dumplings."
Tenzin forced a smile as his stomach lurched. On a regular day he would have been starving, but just now his appetite had completely disappeared. He forced himself to take a bite regardless and looked across his desk at his wife. He watched her as she raised one dumpling to her own mouth. Her eyes flitted up, catching his stare.
"What?"
Tenzin sighed and fixed her with a solid look, "I love you," he told her. He was testing the sound of it, hoping that saying these words would somehow alleviate his guilt and banish any alternative feelings from his mind. His words were genuine, but lacking any true passion as if he were conditioning himself instead of speaking from the heart.
Pema regarded him suspiciously and then chuckled lightly, "I love you too."
Her statement was simple and unvarnished, something she said with conviction- so obvious and true that it could be taken for granted.
Just as Tenzin had done.
He gave her a second smile- this one just as forced and even less enthusiastic than the first. She launched immediately into their plans for Harmony week and as he listened his mind wandered. He considered all the things he would need to do to serve his penance. He would take Pema out for a date, he would make her a meal, he would bathe the children and put them to bed so that she could relax, he would tell her exactly how lucky he was to have her, and he would most certainly never commit another marital transgression as long as he lived. His situation with Lin was nothing more than a phase of clouded judgment and comfort in familiarity masquerading as lust.
He would have to see her in secret, one last time, to draw a line in the sand. He would end it today, for the sake of all parties involved.
When they day was through, Tenzin departed his office- shoring up every ounce of his resolve for his meeting with Lin. He made his way to police headquarters, steeling himself on the front steps.
This would be the safest location for such a conversation- the building was crawling with people and every one of them demanded some amount of Lin's attention. They wouldn't be left alone long, if at all. Not that Tenzin needed to fear being left with her now that his mind was made up.
Gathering a breath, he moved forward through the front doors. The lobby was bustling with officers and offenders- some chatting, some yelling, others simply waiting. Tenzin made his way to the front desk where he was greeted brightly by the young man behind the counter, "Councilman Tenzin! What can we do for you?"
"I was wondering if Chief Beifong might be available?" Tenzin answered.
The young man's brow furrowed and he called over his shoulder to a fellow officer passing through, "Khen? Is the Chief still here?"
Khen paused, giving Tenzin an apologetic look, "No, I'm sorry, Councilman she's left for the day."
Tenzin's stomach sank.
"Would you like me to set up an appointment? Or give her a message?" the man behind the counter offered helpfully.
Tenzin shook his head, "That's quite alright. It can wait. Thank you."
It couldn't wait. Every moment that passed without resolution was a moment of adultery. He made his way back out into the city streets, back at square one. He hadn't planned on having this conversation at her house. His earlier confidence in his self-restraint was all but drained. His feet continued to move, carrying him in the direction her home, but his mind was racing so quickly he almost didn't notice his progress.
He considered that this might potentially be just as safe, knowing surely that Lin was just as ready to put this phase of their lives behind them. She said it all with the look she gave him earlier as Pema stood between them. She was done with this scenario- her body language and her eyes were nearly as valid confirmation of that fact as her words would be.
Still, the conversation had to happen. It had to be said out loud and with conviction this time. He arrived at her front door, straightening the lapels of his cloak and swallowing hard. For a moment he considered that she might not be in her uniform and the thought of her in almost anything else gave him pause.
His fist hovered at her door only a moment before he shook his head resolutely and thought of his children. He was doing this for them. And for his wife too, of course.
His knuckles rapt the door, three times quickly and he gathered another breath which carried the scent of something savory to his nose. She was cooking.
Lin opened the door giving him an exasperated look. Her lips were drawn and her jaw set as she shook her head at him, cutting him off at the pass, "What are you doing here?"
He opened his mouth to reply, but she interjected by throwing one hand up before him, "That was rhetorical. I'm telling you that you need to go. I am done with this whole….whatever this thing was."
Tenzin nodded, watching the line of the muscle in her arm as she gestured. She wore a plain tank top and drawstring pants- her hair was pulled back accentuating her cheekbones and confirming that she was indeed cooking. She always kept her hair back when she cooked.
It was a casual look, bordering on frumpy even, but Tenzin couldn't explain that to his quickening pulse, which pumped manically at the sight of her exposed collarbone. He broke out into a cold sweat when he noted she wasn't even wearing that cumbersome belt.
Now that her piece had been said, she turned her head slightly, unwilling to meet his eyes.
"That is exactly what I was going to say," he explained and she looked back at him skeptically.
"Really?" It was rhetorical again, but he answered her anyway.
"Yes, I really think we just got swept away with this whole situation. I had been missing you so badly and being around you again confused me."
Lin nodded absently, lost in her own similar thoughts.
"And I understand if maybe we need to take a break from each other," he continued, "but I hope that we can find our way back to being friends at least. Platonically of course."
Lin cracked a smile at how hastily he added the word 'platonically' to his sentence, "That's all I really want as well."
Tenzin returned her smile, "Good. I'm glad we can agree."
His muscles relaxed as if some great weight had been lifted, "It's funny," he mused, "we went so quickly from being together to being so decidedly apart I think we forgot how to be just friends. We lost our sense of the 'in between.'"
Lin's smile grew slightly in recognition of the truth, "I suppose we did."
She looked up at him and he swallowed, suddenly overcome by a feeling of foreboding. The feeling which preceded each of their encounters; that sudden desire to put his hands on her as if her skin would relieve the burning he felt when they were apart.
He could see it in her eyes, her desire to lean in and accept his touch. They both looked away though, grounding themselves in the midst of the electrical charge that passed between their bodies.
Tenzin cleared his throat, "I am going to go," he announced, surprising even himself with how convincing he sounded.
"Goodbye," she agreed, confounding his claim.
"Goodbye, Lin."
Her door closed and he sighed, relieved.
He'd made it.
He stood in the face of temptation and though he faltered in his thoughts, his willpower won out. He stood on her step, celebrating this victory. He stayed true to his original aim, even when his eyes were focused on the unevenness of her waistband, dipping on one side to reveal her hip and that small space which led directly down to when he wanted to go. He remained firm even when he caught sight of her nipples through the fabric of her shirt. He had even managed to resist the sight of her collarbone, which was commonly his undoing, even as a teenager….
His fist was knocking the door before his thought was completed. It swung open in a hurry and they lunged at one another desperate in their pursuit of each other's bodies. They backed into her hallway as a single entity and the door closed behind them on a gust of wind.
Their breath was lost to one another and they both gasped between frantic kisses. Lin's hands grappled with Tenzin's sash this time, feverishly tearing at it until it finally came loose. She pushed his robes over his shoulders as he continued backing her into the house, connected at the mouth.
"I can't" Tenzin explained between kisses. It was understood that what he couldn't do was stop himself, evidenced by the way in which his kisses seemed intensify in their passion as his hands wandered beneath her shirt.
"Me neither," Lin agreed in a breath, just as the back of her legs met the edge of her couch. She fell back with him on top, legs hanging over the edge.
Without warning Tenzin pulled back- kissing her neck, then her chest, and then her stomach as his fingers curled under her waistband. He pulled her pants off in one quick motion, an atypical move for the traditionally methodical airbender. His eagerness only served to heighten Lin's anticipation as he tossed her pants over his shoulder and moved his mouth straight to the meeting of her legs without ceremony.
Her backed arched when she felt his tongue circling her sex as if he couldn't possibly drink her in fast enough. His appetite for her was insatiable. As the sound of her moaning grew in volume, Tenzin's hands moved up her legs lightly to assist in building the tension. His fingers caressed the inside of her thigh as his tongue moved soft and quick against her. After teasing her this way for a moment, he finally slipped two fingers inside, curling them gently until her felt her muscles tighten around them. She gasped and he responded by increasing the pressure from his mouth while keep his fingers moving in and out as lightly as possible.
That did the trick and she cried out just as he felt her muscles contract, pulsating finally against his mouth. When he was sure she was done he pulled back again, wiping his mouth on his forearm.
He anticipated a pause as she may need to collect herself, but Lin was on him in the blink of an eye- climbing into his lap as he sat back on floor. She kissed his mouth hard, grinding herself against the erection in his pants.
His hands moved up her back, lifting her shirt over her head as they traveled and she used their short moment of disconnect to hook her finger in his waistband, tugging his pants off with aplomb.
The separation was too long for Tenzin, who reached out- gripping her ass to pull her back into his lap with urgency. She settled against him and kissed him again before reaching down to take his erection in her hand. She ran her fingers up and down him a few times, propped up on her knees, teasing him by sliding his tip along her wetness.
His hips jumped slightly, seeking relief and she obliged, sitting on him finally. He grunted as she did and though he pulled her to him to kiss her chest, she leaned back lifting her hips up and then back down slowly so that he could watch their bodies meet time and again.
Erotic as it was, he was soon overwhelmed by the desire to hold her closer and he drew her back in with a kiss. When they broke away her mouth moved to his neck, nipping and kissing him there between the small hums of pleasure she released indicating she was reaching a second climax.
His hips shifted faster and though his hand moved to assist her further, he never made it. She let out a gasp just at his ear and it sent him over the edge. His body contracted; tensing with a low groan that was muffled against her sternum as he released into her.
They paused, catching their breath together on the floor in the middle of her living room as the dull light of evening cut its way through the curtains. His lips pursed, kissing her heaving chest softly as they both fought to steady their breathing.
He let go of one heavy sigh, leaning back to lie flat against the ground- energy entirely spent. Lin followed suit, rolling off of him to rest her head along his chest.
Tenzin stared up at the ceiling, suddenly overcome by reality again. His jaw clenched though his arm around Lin tightened instinctively. He sighed when she shifted to lay flat against the ground beside him. He chanced a look in her direction and saw her eyebrows rise and fall as she chewed her lip. It wasn't a great sign- this was characteristic of some internal argument taking place inside her head and she finally scoffed aloud.
"Fuck," she muttered to herself quietly, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," she repeated, louder each time.
His eyebrows lifted in response and he turned his head to catch her eye, "this didn't go exactly as I planned."
Her eyes narrowed at him and she sat up, reaching out to grab her discarded tank top, pulling it on once again. He sat up as well, gathering his pants into his lap as he watched her carefully.
She found her underwear and stood to pull it back on before falling back on the couch to mutter, "motherfucker."
He stood, pulling the whole of his saffron pants back on, taking a seat beside her. They both stared forward blankly until Tenzin's head finally dropped into his waiting hands with heavy sigh.
"This is bad," he lamented quietly and Lin nodded.
"This is beyond bad," she continued, "this is…this….this is…fuck."
Between the slits of his fingers he could see her knee bouncing nervously. At that moment, his overriding desire was to reach out and settle his hand upon it gently, because though his own mind was awash with fear and frustration, the only thing he wanted to do was alleviate her worry.
His eyes filled with tears as soon as he realized that this would always be his trouble.
As soon as he opened his mouth to verbalize it she stood with a growl, "and now my fucking food is burning."
She made her way from the living room into the kitchen, which Tenzin could see, was hazy with smoke. He followed after her, spotting the flame on the stove just over her shoulder. He cupped his hand and extended it so that a small gust of wind sailed past her, extinguishing the flame on contact.
She turned to face him, eyes simultaneously grateful and distraught. She moved to the kitchen window, throwing it open before she turned back to him, "you can go now."
He didn't move, "I can't," he explained and his voice cracked on his statement- never more fearful of how certain he felt.
She ticked her head and looked skyward, folding her arms across her chest with an exasperated sigh. She shifted her weight and his eyes moved from her cocked hip down to her large feet and he couldn't control the smile that tugged at his lips.
He recalled Bumi teasing her about her feet when they were younger, "bigfoot beifong" he would say at the risk of his own life. Tenzin would come to her defense, not that she needed it, but he did so unfailingly though he faced endless teasing in return.
"Tenzin loves Lin," Bumi would sing teasingly and Tenzin laughed in the present because it was still true.
"I can't leave," he said aloud finally.
"You don't have much of a choice," Lin reminded him, "your wife will be expecting you."
"I'll have to talk to her," Tenzin said quietly with a nod and Lin laughed caustically.
"Yes, go home and explain exactly what you've been up to. Tell her all about us," Lin agreed sarcastically.
"I have to," Tenzin agreed with a nod. She watched him for a moment before discerning the sincerity of his words.
Her entire body reeled back with shock, "What? No. Fuck. I was fucking kidding, Tenzin! "
He shook his head, smacking his hand into his chest, "but I'm not," he insisted as a few tears slipped out.
"I'm in love with you, Lin. I am. Do you have any idea how hard I've tried to change that? How many times I've tried talking myself out of it? This isn't going away."
Lin took a deep breath and tears began pouring from her eyes at an alarming rate, though her face remained passive. She wiped at her cheeks and sniffled, "you don't have the right to say that to me. You made your choice."
And suddenly Tenzin could feel his cheeks flushing with anger, "what was I supposed to do, Lin?" he shouted, "Please explain this to me. What else was I supposed to do? You were the one making that decision. I didn't have a choice. Don't put that on me!"
They met eyes, fierce in their anger and looked away quickly, both deflating as the moment passed. The silence stretched, as they both remained still, refusing to look one another in the eye after his outburst.
Lin spoke first, losing her patience with their standoff as she typically did.
"Well, here we are. Neither of us can change what happened now. You have four children, Tenzin."
His face contorted and a few more tears escaped at their mention, but Lin continued, "and I'll admit I've wanted to hear you say those words to me again. I thought it would feel great, but it doesn't. It just feels like I'm breaking up a family."
She shrugged sadly and he shook his head, "it's not like that. I'm not happy, not really."
"Tenzin…" she led sympathetically, "what if this had been your parents?"
"This would never be my parents," he returned quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Because my parents were meant to be," he replied without hesitation, "and Pema and I …aren't."
Lin sighed and he continued, "Look. Whatever this is between us- it's not going away. I can't keep this from her in good conscience. I owe her honesty at the very least."
Lin shook her head again, disparaging his plan, "we had sex," she stated simply, "we've done it hundreds of times before."
She was reasoning, flawed logic and all, but it was bigger than the issue of intercourse, "that's the thing, Lin. It isn't just about sex. I want to be with you. I want to cuddle with you after sex, not argue about my marriage. I want to stay for dinner, I want to talk about my day with you again, I want to laugh with you, I want to be with you."
There was something about that rant that finally broke through her stubbornness, convincing her finally that maybe this was real. She bit her lip to still it's shaking and tears ran down her face, "I really want that too," she admitted, voice hitching on the naked truth. She hadn't let her guard down like this in over twelve years.
He stepped forward and slid his palm along her jaw, "I love you," he confessed with a tearful laugh and a shrug.
"I love you too," she replied returning his watery smirk before wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head along his chest.
Tenzin hugged her back, wondering if admitting his feelings to himself would be harder than coming clean about them to his wife.
He entered his home later that night to find Pema in bed with a book. His heart was heavy as he entered their room.
"Where have you been?" she asked sharply as he came through the door.
Tenzin sat on the edge of the bed, gathering his courage and his breath.
And it ended just as it began; when one of them stuck their chin out and confessed.