We've reached the middle of the Second Series. I'm simultaneously proud of myself and sad that it's going to end before too long.
I have created a playlist on YouTube called Pit x Viridi, which contains the songs I use to inspire these stories. I'm sorry if I've mentioned this before. My YouTube user name is N00dleGal.
I don't own Kid Icarus. I don't own a car, too.
Thanks to Konpeki Rei for being awesome about betaing.
Chapter 1
Takin' Care of Business
Cereal. I need some cereal. It's breakfast time and I am craving some corn flakes.
Palutena is leaning over the toaster, waiting for the bagel to come up all warm and brown. I yawn and slump down into my place at the kitchen table.
"Morning, Pit," the Goddess of Light says cheerfully- until she turns around. Then she stares at me.
"Pit, have you looked in the mirror lately?" she asks. I sense pride in her voice, but I have no clue why.
"I just got up. What, do I have bed head?"
"Here," she tells me and hands me a frying pan. I look in the shiny reflective surface and gasp.
"WHAT THE HECK?" I shout. "ARE YOU PRANKING ME RIGHT NOW?"
Because the face I'm staring at isn't mine. It has a more defined chin, smaller eyes, longer hair, and, from what I can see of the chest, plenty of muscle. It's taller, too- a good inch on me. The wings look more aerodynamic as well.
"Growth spurt," I hear Palutena whisper. "My baby's growing up."
That's when I figure it out. No longer am I the scrawny angel that defeated Medusa and Hades. I've grown. A lot. I look like a 15 year old human boy.
"Well, this explains why you've been eating so much," Palutena laughs. I'm still looking at my new appearance.
"I look... I look good," I chuckle. I turn around to scan the back. "Whoa, check out the sacred buns now!" I face the goddess with a huge smile. "I can't wait to show Viridi!"
Suddenly, a wave of confusion passes Palutena's eyes, but only to be quickly replaced with a look of clarity and enjoyment.
"That reminds me, I need to call a meeting of the gods," she says as she claps her hands together. "Us godly beings haven't sat down and talked in ages. We really do need to discuss how the world is doing."
"Huh," I think aloud. "You've never held one before. At least, not as long as I can remember." Whoa, my voice is deeper. It sounds kinda manly now. Sweet.
"The last one was what, 100 years ago? I think we're a bit overdue," she explains.
"Yeah." Then a thought hits me. "This means Viridi will be coming over too, right?"
"Yep."
"Man, it's been 15 years since we had that dinner date... I really miss her," I sigh.
I have had a few chances to hang out with the Goddess of Nature since that meal so long ago, but the humans are beginning to ransack the planet more and more, which means Viridi has a lot of work to do. I haven't seen her in a while.
"Well, then, I think it's time to have another meeting. Let me send out a g- mail." She waves her staff and closes her eyes. After about a minute she opens them up and smiles. "Done. Everybody should know about it soon."
"So when are you going to have it?" I ask as I spoon some food into my mouth.
Palutena winks. "Tonight. Is that a problem?"
I shake my head. "No, not at all! Need any help setting up?" I respond.
I'm given a grin in reply. "That would be fantastic. Meet me in the west wing of the temple in an hour, OK?" I answer the affirmative and the goddess leaves to eat her bagel (she likes to eat in bed some days).
60 minutes later, I'm waiting in the hallway like Palutena asked. I'm shuffling my feet when she strolls up.
"C'mon Pit, we need to set up the conference room," she says, motioning towards a door.
Inside is a large room completely void of furniture. The only noticeable thing about this place is that there's a small hot spring tucked in the corner.
"All right, we'll need a long table, a dozen chairs, a bookshelf, some books to go on said bookshelf, maybe some towels in case someone wants to take a dip..." she lists.
"Thank goodness I've learned how to read," I chatter. "Otherwise that bookshelf would be a waste of space." Palutena laughs.
Along with the help of the Centurions, the room is soon full of the desired equipment. There's even a prototype music box that can play more than one song. It's shaped like Palutena and it's made out of some shiny stone. For some reason it seems familiar.
Of course, the entire place is a bit too girly for me- plenty of flowers and pale colors. But the room is being decorated by a goddess. A woman. It's gonna be girly.
"You did a good job, men," Palutena tells the Centurions. "Go ahead and rest for the evening." The soldiers leave and she turns to me. "Now, Pit, help me get the appetizers ready. You've gotten pretty good in the kitchen since the last time Viridi came over."
At the very name of my girlfriend I feel myself get warmer. Palutena notices. "Pit, sweetie, I have some good news. Viridi, believe it or not, doesn't have much to do today. She's coming over early."
I break out into a smile. "Really? Does that me I can spend time with her before the meeting?"
"Yep. Now be a dear and fetch me some olives."
"Yes sir, Lady Palutena!" I exclaim with a salute. I dash off towards the pantry.
Viridi... it's been too long.
. . .
Any second now... c'mon hurry up...
I'm pacing around in the conference room, waiting for Palutena to arrive with Viridi. My ears perk up when I hear a voice.
"You look nice tonight, Viridi. Are you wearing makeup?"
"Just a little blush. And some lip gloss." That's the voice. That's HER voice.
"Getting all dolled up for your man?" Palutena teases.
"Shut up!"
"I also notice you've curled the ends of your hair. And are those new shoes?"
"What are you, the fashion police?" Viridi counters. Their voices are getting closer.
"Pit got all dressed up, too. He's wearing a new belt, I believe." Great, spoil the surprise Palutena. I don't care.
"But I want to warn you, Viridi. He's... he's still Pit, but it may be a shock to see him."
"Why?" I hear the fear in the Goddess of Nature's question. "Is he hurt? Was he in a fight?"
"No, not at all. He's been- pardon the pun- a perfect little angel. It's just that... well, I'll let you see for yourself."
They've reached the room. The door is wide open. I look up and see a small blond figure staring at me.
"Pit?" She's confused. "Is that you?"
I nod slowly. "It's me, Viridi. I swear it is." Her eyes grow wider, but now she's smiling and laughing.
"Pit. PIT!" she yells and next thing I know she's ran straight into my arms. After catching my breath from her impact I peer down onto her face. Palutena was right- her cheeks seem redder and her lips are more shiny. "You've grown. You're so much taller than me now..." It's true. I tower over her- her hands can barely reach my neck. I wrap my limbs around her.
"Viridi," I whisper. She answers by burying her face in the folds of my toga.
"Oh wow, you are ripped now," says Viridi, her words muffled by the cloth.
"I have missed you so much," I tell her. I close my eyes and just hug her. It's all I want right now- just to hold her, just to be near her.
I don't know how much time passes with us in this position.
And then I hear a click.
I look up. Palutena has left the room. Viridi and I are alone.
The door is closed.
I release myself from my girlfriend's grasp and try to wiggle the handle. Nothing. It won't budge.
A laugh booms throughout the chamber. "Don't bother Pit. I used my godly powers. And Viridi, don't try either. Your powers are blocked against that door."
Then I figure it out.
Palutena locked us in here.
End Chapter 1
Uh oh.
It's the dawn of Pervy Palutena! What's going to happen next? You'll see...