WARNING: THESE STORIES ARE SMUT/PARODY. THEY ARE FOUL AND DISGUSTING AND STUPID. yOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS AT ALL

1. Curse of the She-Malcolm WARNING: Incest of the Reese x Malcolm kind ;)

In reference to: season 4 episode 10: If boys were girls

Reese knew that his mom and dad were busy watching a movie on the couch and Dewey was doing the dishes so he snuck into his room, where Malcolm was doing his homework, and closed the door behind him.

"Hey, bitch," Reese greeted.

"I'm not your bitch," Malcolm said, rolling his eyes.

"Ok well guess what? Everyone else is busy so that means we can play."

"I'm not gonna do anything with you if you keep calling me 'bitch'," Malcolm replied, never taking his eyes off his homework.

"Aww, c'mon I was just kidding," begged Reese.

"Fine," Malcolm agreed, rolling his eyes.

Malcolm got on his knees and pulled out Reese' 17+ inch dick.

"Get that dick nice and wet," drawled Reese.

Malcolm started sucking his dick real good.

"Ok, I'm through getting my dick wet," said Reese. "Now give me some of that ass."

Malcolm obliged and started undoing his pants when he noticed something was very wrong.

He didn't have a dick!

Malcolm looked down at his vagina like "Omafackingawd, whattafuck am I supposed to do with this?!"

"How am I supposed to know," cried Reese.

"Maybe we should try having sex anyways," suggested Malcolm because he's a horny little fucker.

"I don't think I wanna go near that cavernous abysmal," stated Reese, shaking his head.

"Please, Reese! Just try it."

"Eww it looks like a sad old man," pointed out Reese, looking at Malcolm's wrinkly vagina.

"I don't care, fuck it," screamed Malcolm, holding his vagina flaps open.

Reese shoved his dick into Malcolm's vagina and started fucking him.

"Dang, this vagina feels better than your asshole, Malcolm," Reese moaned. "I think I'm gonna come now."

"No, wait, shouldn't you not come inside my vagina?"

"Fuck it." Reese gave Malcolm a cream-pie.

~Three days later~

Malcolm woke up one morning with a really big stomach. "Oh my God! I'm pregnant! How are we gonna hide this from mom?!"

"Maybe I can kill it," suggested Reese. He started hitting Malcolm's stomach with a bat and then all of a sudden the baby came out of Malcolm's blood vagina.

The baby was covered in blood and Malcolm picked up the baby, holding it in his arms.

"Look, Reese, our baby," Malcolm said, showing the baby to Reese.

"It's beautiful," noted Reese, wiping a tear.

But the baby was evil. It killed everyone.
The End.

2. Cum-calling ghosts WARNING: Lots of cum, basically Hal x all his sons

In reference to: season 2 episode 14: Dinner Out

Hal was taking a shower early in the morning when he got really horny. He tried to call for Lois but she had gone to work early. 'Guess I better jack-off,' he thought.

Hal didn't want to get his jizz all over the place so he got a dirty cup that happened to be in the shower and jizzed into it. Once he got out of the shower, he placed the jizz-filled-cup on the sink, telling himself he would dispense of it after he got dressed.

Hal finished getting dressed and left the bathroom, leaving the cup behind.

Hal didn't remember until he was driving to work.

He raced back home to find his three boys eating breakfast.

They all looked at him, perplexed at his sudden return.

"Forgot something," he announced, rushing to the bathroom.

When he reached the bathroom he realized the cup was gone.

He raced back to the kitchen. "Uh, boys, did you happen to see my cup...of milk! in the bathroom?"

Reese and Malcolm said no.

"I did," Dewey chirped. He picked up the cup that was sitting on the table the whole time.

"Oh thank God," Hal sighed, reaching for the cup.

"No way, dad. That's the last of the milk, and you left it behind anyway," Reese griped. He picked up the cup and took a big gulp.

"Stop hogging it!" Malcolm ripped the cup out of Reese' hand and took another swig.

"NO," cried Hal.

"No fair! I need it more than you two!" Dewey ran over to his older brothers and in all the fuss the cup spilled.

The jizz coated the boys head, dripping down their faces.

"This milk is really gooey," noted Malcolm.

"Tastes funny," said Reese, licking the splooge falling down his upper lip.

"It's so good," exclaimed Dewey.

Then Dewey began licking the jizz off Malcolm's face, and Malcolm licked it off Reese' face and Reese off both his brothers'.

"No, stop," Hal insisted. But Hal was starting to get horny again so he whipped out his dick and started jacking it again.

"Hey boys," he said wistfully. "There's more over here," he told them as the first drop of pre-cum started oozing out.

The boys raced over on their knees and started making seal sounds as they held their mouths open, waiting for Hal's jizz.

Hal came on his boys like diarrhea coming out of a torn asshole.

"Thank you so much, dad," Malcolm said.

"Can we have more," asked Dewey and Reese simultaneously.

"Maybe later, if you behave well," replied Hal, patting their heads.

Hal left for work then Malcolm and Dewey died because the jizz made them sick.

But Reese survived so he ate his brother's dicks then he died as well.

When Hal came back home he started taking his clothes off to feed his sons again but upon finding them dead he started jacking off anyways. He buried his children in the backyard and told Lois they had run away.

Hal never got caught, but at night he would hear the ghostly cries of Reese, Malcolm and Dewey, begging for dripping cum.
The End.

3. I didn't even make an effort on this one WARNING: incoherent-ness
One day Dewey was making some toast when all of a sudden the toast sprouted teeth and killed Dewey. Then Reese walked in and saw dead Dewey and shit his pants from shock. Then Malcolm walked in and was like "fuck it stinks like shit in here." So Reese got sad and started jacking it. Then Malcolm was like "wtf?" So then Francis walked in with Piama and they both were like "wtf?" But then Eric flew in through the window like "Baby, Francis we belong together". So Francis was like "UUHH yeah" and killed Piama so then Jamie crawls in the room and everyone stomps on him because no one likes that little fucker anyways. Then Malcolm and Reese start making out and Eric and Francis were already making out and Lois and Hal walk in like "wtf faggots". But then Ida flies in through the window using her asscheeks and she dies then Hal and Lois were like "whattahell is going on?" It turns out Jamie had murdered someone so the police busts in and shoots everyone. Then they set the house on fire and left the pile of ashes there. They say if you go by there on Halloween night then you die.

The End

Happy Halloween.

I hope you get lots of candy and have safe fun! =D