Artemis Fowl: the Infinite Ages
A/N: Well, ladies and gentlemen of the Artemis Fowl fandom, welcome to the infinite loops.
1.1: Moonlight
The golden world spirals from unconsciousness. Ceiling tiles fade into reality. The bustle of soldiers and Recon members flirt with the hum of the lights as cleanup continues. Noxious smoke swirls with abandon around her. Familiarity clicks together, and instincts kick in. She sits up, just in time to be yelled at.
"SHORT!"
Captain Holly Short twitched irately as Commander Root's anger hit her. "Ugh... Commander?"
Root was livid, his whole body shaking from his boots to his pointy ears. "What in Frond's name were you thinking! You were given direct orders to wait outside until Recon showed up! How'd you even get in here?!"
Holly fought to avoid rolling her eyes. "Sir, the Troll was inside. A mud-woman called for help. It's an invitation to enter a human dwelling."
Root verbally growled and chewed his cigar. "You're on thin ice, Short. Entering a human dwelling is too risky, even if you used a flash grenade to knock them out."
Holly glanced around the restaurant, pixies, elves, gnomes and dwarves swarming around and tending to the unconscious humans, mind-wiping them before they came back to consciousness. Still more were tending to the massive, ape-like troll, notably unconscious thanks to Holly's interference. The whole mess was surprisingly empty of blood and gore, an attribute that Holly took immediate pride in. "With all due respect, sir, I think that the Council will go easy on me."
At that point, everything went right to hell. A pixie shot out of the bathroom, panicking,"A human child! A human child got missed by the flash bomb!"
"SHIELDS!" Root roared, his Magic already surging through his cells, vibrating his body into invisibility. Around him, the other LEPrecon officers vanished into thin air, lost to the naked eye. Holly gasped, summoned up her own Magic...
And bleakly remembered that she was running on empty. "D'Arvit."
The human child walked out of the bathroom and glanced at Holly impassively. "Ciao, perdere fata." The boy climbed into his mother's lap and fell asleep in an instant.
Holly sighed as Commander Root reappeared, purple-faced and shaking. 'Oh boy...'
"SHORT!" Root roared. "WHAT WAS THAT?!"
Holly winced. "Commander, I-"
"You don't have any Magic, do you? You haven't done the ritual in months!"
Well, he was right.
Root was glaring hard at Holly, two instincts warring in his mind and rather clearly on his face. "Short... You're going to do the ritual. Tonight. There's a full moon out. But after you do the ritual, you will turn around, you will haul your ass back to Haven, and you will seat it right in front of the Council. Do I make myself clear?"
For the first time that night, Holly Short looked her commanding officer dead in the eyes. Root choked on air when he saw exactly what had changed. Holly didn't notice, of course: she was too busy smiling at him. "Of course, Commander. I'll get right on it."
Holly activated the wings on her suit and launched into the air. She stared up into the night sky with her mismatched eyes, one her natural hazel, the other Artemis Fowl's cerulean.
Artemis Fowl silently gazed out of the small encampment he and Butler had ensconced themselves in. The Irish bog they were hiding in was empty save for the duo and a few small, ground-dwelling mammals. Across from them was an old, gnarled tree, overhanging a narrow bend in a river. Shrouded in silver moonlight, the area looked simply Magical.
'Now that is an incredibly apropos statement,' Artemis thought. "Butler, be sure to aim low tonight."
Butler, first name irrelevant, gently lowered the air rifle, modified for his spectacular stature. "Of course, Artemis. Do you have a feeling that something is going to happen tonight?"
"No feeling, merely certainty," Artemis answered. "In fact... I believe tonight we will have something else with which to slog through three swamps, two fields, and over a fence."
Butler raised an eyebrow. "Master Artemis, I had no idea you were aware of that."
"I have my ways."
Butler clicked his teeth. "Right..." Butler's grip on the rifle immediately tightened. Artemis smiled as he saw exactly what was waiting outside of their hidden position.
"Yes..."
Across the clearing, gently touching down below the tree, was a short person. Barely three feet tall, with brown skin, red hair (a buzz cut) and strikingly pointed ears. She couldn't have passed for human... though maybe a human child? The Faerie knelt and picked up an acorn.
Butler inhaled, exhaled slowly, and squeezed the trigger.
Holly hit the ground and rolled beneath the dart, seizing her helmet and pulling back it on. Her hand dropped to her Neutrino sidearm, bringing it up. A dart to the hand killed that idea fast. Holly leapt behind the tree, her only offense lost. "Not again..."
Holly scratched a hole into the dirt, rapidly trying to see where Artemis and Butler would come from. It was around the time she was burying the acorn that she realized something was wrong. "I return you to the earth, and in return take my birthright."
Magic flooded Holly's body, flushing her with power. Clenching her teeth, Holly brought up her shield, vanishing into thin air. Stepping out from behind the tree, Holly stared at the young boy who was standing across the clearing from the tree.
For too long, Artemis Fowl and Holly Short stared at each other without speaking. Artemis broke it. "Good evening, Captain Short."
"Good evening, Artemis Fowl."
Artemis adjusted his glasses. "Am I to assume that you used your helmet's facial recognition software to identify me?"
"Am I to assume that you are still a wiseass?" Holly retorted peevishly.
Artemis adjusted the mirrored glasses he wore, a safeguard against Holly's ability to hypnotize him with the Mesmer. "Miss Short, as I understand it, you need to remember that I am a dangerous criminal who has obviously succeeded in hacking Foaly's immense array of firewalls and technological advantages used to defend you from us mere 'mudmen'."
Holly tapped the edge of her helmet. "I would imagine so. He's probably in shock, though, otherwise he'd be screaming my ear off."
Artemis nodded once. "Well, Miss Short, I do believe that would conclude the necessity of our correspondence, if it were not for a single situation. That of my mother."
Holly made no comment. "You still intend to kidnap me?"
Artemis smiled deviously... actually, no. Artemis smiled sincerely, but after years of seeing him as the magnificent bastard that he was, Holly had come to see almost everything Artemis did as devious or cunning. Artemis removed the mirrored glasses, still smiling at Holly. "Holly, you may not believe this, but you just confirmed that you are also time traveling."
Holly opened her mouth, choked on air, and stared slack jawed at Artemis. "You... You've time traveled as well. Again?" she tacked on, recalling their previous adventures through the time stream.
"It would seem so," Artemis said slowly. "Though I take it by your tone that the revelation of our mutual temporal displacement is not what elicited such surprise. Was there anything else?"
"Well, it's... your eye. It's mine." Holly pulled her helmet off of her head and turned the tunnel lights on, pointing it at the ground to illuminate her without blinding herself. "Artemis, what are the color of my eyes?"
Artemis' hand ghosted to the foreign hazelnut eye in his socket. "Now this... this is unexpected. Obviously something more than time travel is occurring here."
At that point, Holly's helmet started screaming at her. Holly sighed and put the helmet down. "Sorry, Julius, Foaly. There's something I need to handle."
"Speaking of the situation at hand..."
A red dot appeared on Holly's chest. "Wait... you're going to knock me out again?"
"I'm terribly sorry, Holly," Artemis said. "However, Butler would much rather you be unconscious while we're transporting you. Whether or not you'd come willingly with us is... out of the question."
"You're going to knock me out again," Holly said in annoyance. "Artemis Fowl, did you regress to your original standard of cartoon villainy?"
"Surely not."
PSSSH, went Butler's air rifle. Thump, went Holly's unconscious body. Artemis chuckled.
"I have always had a degree of cartoonish villainy."
Commander Root was obviously quite enraged when Holly returned to the subterranean faerie city of Haven. "Captain Short, you have exactly thirty seconds to explain to me how and why you allowed yourself to be kidnapped by a Mud-Man," he growled as Foaly, resident centaur super-genius and tinfoil hat fanatic, ran a humming, glowing device over Holly's suit.
Holly sighed. After healing Angelina Fowl of her grief induced insanity, she and Artemis had gone their separate ways, albeit with the promise to meet up later and possibly figure out how they had managed to time travel and restore Artemis' memories after his death. "Commander... you know what, I'm going to let the Mud-Boy explain this."
Foaly cocked an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, what?"
Holly pointed at a screen. "I'll bet Artemis will be calling you in a few minutes. He's probably already watching this."
"I am."
"No, no, no," Foaly said. "It's patently impossible that any human could have matched Faerie technology. Why, the entire idea is absurd, especially when compared to myself: I am the foremost leader in technological innovation amongst the Faerie Families."
"And you bring up the rear in situational awareness," Root said, pointing at the screen that Artemis Fowl was watching through. Foaly choked on air at the sight. Holly merely rolled her eyes.
"I admit, it was a fair challenge to hack into your systems Foaly. In fact, it took me a record fifteen minutes. You really should be honored to have given me such a challenge. Truly, it was an enjoyable exercise," Artemis said, snarking a mile a minute.
Foaly looked like he was having an aneurism. Root growled. "Alright, Mud-Boy... I've have had it up to here -"
"Not any significant amount, then."
"- With this day. Give me an explanation, or I will personally bring the entire Lower Elements Police Force down on your head and have them pull your brain and your hard drive apart piece by piece. So explanation. Now."
"I was under the impression that Captain Short would be the one charged with explaining the situation," Artemis said, driving Root's blood pressure up another three notches. "Regardless of your lack of knowledge, I do believe that surrendering the responsibility -"
"Artemis Fowl, you will explain this to Root, or I will be the one leading the assault on your manor," Holly retorted.
"SOMEONE -"
"Time travel."
Root caught himself and glared at Artemis with a look that promised violent retribution. "What in Frond's name does time travel have to do with this?"
Artemis smiled and leaned in to the camera, Holly's hazel eye staring out at Root next to the human's natural' sapphire. "Commander, I am aware of the insanity of the situation, intimately so. Trust me, though: I am going to make the next few months of your life much, much easier. Shall I begin?"
Foaly was engrossed in the computer stations and trying to find out how Artemis had snuck in,, Holly was exasperated, and Root just wanted an explanation. "Start talking, Mud-Boy. Maybe when you're done, I will only have your mind wiped."
Artemis smirked. "Let us begin, then. Perhaps at the beginning: It all started in Ho Chin Minh City..."
1.2: Repeat?
Holly Short's world swirled around her, building towards recognition. Blurry lines gained definition, colors burned into existence. Slowly, other senses returned. The stink of sweat and wet troll hung in the air, overpowered by noxious fumes. Hustle and bustle all around, marked merely by the noise. The cold tiles underneath her, and the rank taste of warm spit in her mouth. A voice: "Holly?"
A snap to attention, and then a shout. "SHORT!"
Holly Short jolted in mid-motion as she recognized her location again. A small restaurant in Italy, which until very recently had been the target of a rogue Troll. A restaurant, filled with mud-men, women, even children. Only Holly's interference had stopped the restaurant from becoming a slaughterhouse.
Faeries bustled around her, the LEPrecon moving to mind-wipe every human who had seen anything, repair the tiles the Troll had cracked under sheer weight, and tend to the Troll itself, now bound and being moved out of the restaurant.
Holly Short was back to the fateful night she had meant Artemis... Again. This was the third time. It was the third time she had watched these men: elves, gnomes, pixies and sprites, all of them her coworkers, struggling to clean up her mess. Holly's mouth was dry. "How..."
"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"
Holly numbly turned to stare at Commander Root, her eternally exasperated commanding officer a shade of purple to put royalty to shame. Seeing her empty look was a shock to Root, though - Holly was one of the strongest Recon Captains in the force. If she had been broken by this... "Short, what happened in here? What went wrong?"
Holly gulped, her heart suddenly deciding to take residence in her throat. "Commander... you're not going to belie-"
"A human child! A human child got missed by the flash bomb!" The same Pixie from before came racing out of the bathroom.
"SHIELDS!" Root shouted, already vanishing. Holly nearly froze up, her own instincts fighting, for a moment, with her knowledge of her powerlessness. She had to move, she had to -
"Ciao, perdere fata," the young boy said to her. The boy walked back to his mother, as before, and climbed into her lap before falling asleep. Holly kicked herself mentally.
'Great job freezing up, Short. This is Hamburg all over again...'
Commander Root reappeared, his shield dropping while his blood pressure rose. "Short..."
Holly gulped. 'Think fast Holly, think fast.' "Commander, I used up my Magic healing from a... wound that the troll inflicted on me. I-"
Cue chewing out by Commander Root for both not having Magic and being a liar.
Holly sighed as she climbed into the air above the restaurant, despondent. "Great... Now I'm going to be court-marshaled and under scrutiny. Just... D'Arvit."
"Language, miss Short," an equine voice intoned through her speakers. "For what it's worth, it was a good use of LEPrecon technology. Maybe we can get some mileage out of how you took down that Troll."
Holly cocked an eyebrow, no doubt seen by Foaly, the ever-present centaur. Climbing higher into the night sky, her feet scraping the clouds, Holly sighed into the speakers. "I don't know. I'd hardly be the first LEPrecon officer to take down a Troll solo."
"The first female officer, though," Foaly said, trying to cheer Holly up.
For what it was worth, Holly snorted. "I'm a lot of firsts, aren't I?" she admitted. As she slowly climbed above the clouds and watched the starry sky roll above her and the rough earth pass below her, Holly opened the filters on her helmet and breathed the cold air. It was laced with human pollutants and stirred by their aircraft, but there was nothing, nothing, quite like surface air.
The soft loam beneath her feet was enough to convince Holly to take her helmet off. Fully free from the stifling confines, the young elf (by Faerie standards, eighty was young) set her helmet down and picked up an acorn. After a moment of thought, Holly sat up a little straighter. 'Come on, Butler... this is the best target you'll be getting tonight...'
PSSSH. The world returned to its blurry qualities. Holly gasped theatrically, and collapsed into the soil. Acting quickly, she stowed the acorn into her boot, waiting for the Mud-Boy to come.
And come he did. Artemis Fowl advanced on Holly, looking down at her from behind mirrored glasses. "Hmm... well, miss Faerie, it seems we've caught you."
Holly, for show, overlaid her voice with the Mesmer, an attempt to control Artemis' will. "No, Mud-Boy. I've caught you."
Artemis adjusted his mirrored glasses. "Quite. Butler, if you would."
Butler flipped the rifle over and reared back. Holly realized what Butler would be doing, and rolled her eyes. "I'll get you ba-"
Clunk. Thump.
For the second time in so many hours, Holly awoke to blurs, indistinct noises, and the rotten smells of fumes. The silence was new, though.
Sitting up in her cot, Holly glanced around the cell that had become her room. The door was sealed, a camera was in the corner, the concrete was empty, and Artemis Fowl was standing by, staring at Holly. The elven woman chuckled slightly. "You already trust your prisoner enough to leave the room empty, save for yourself? Better watch it, Artemis: better men than you have been undone by lesser mistakes."
"It's hardly a mistake if it is all according to plan, Holly," Artemis said. Pulling off his mirrored glasses and blinking his mismatched eyes, Artemis sighed. "But this... again."
Artemis transposed himself to Holly's side of the room and sat on the bed. "Another temporal reset? Again for no reason?"
"I know," Holly muttered, her surprise lacing her tone. "Everything was the same again at the Restaurant. Same kid, same speech, even the same problem with my Magic." Holly's hand slipped to her eye. "And this again... our eyes. How is this possible?"
"Magic abides by a complex establishment of rules, but they are rules that would permit time travel. Perhaps it is merely the translation of neurological data across the medium of space time, but this model is... flawed, at best. And if it were true... how would I remember what happened after I had died the first time?"
Holly opened her mouth and closed with a click of her teeth. "Artemis..."
"There's nothing to worry about, Holly. It never happened," Artemis intoned, expertly hiding his discomfort with the topic. "I must admit, though, I do lack the information necessary to draw an accurate conclusion. In all honesty, we altered the timeline to a truly ludicrous degree. How could different circumstances produce similar results?"
Holly shrugged. In the first timeline, they'd been working... well, blind. The last time, though, they'd had three critical pieces of information to work on: Opal Koboi's guilt in supplying the Goblin gangs with Softnose laser rifles, the location of Turnball Root, and the time when and if Hybras would arrive on Earth. Those three facts effectively headed off almost all of the problems they would have encountered.
Almost all, of course, was not every single one. For example, Leon Abbott had nearly managed to crash Hybras into the moon, and Minerva and Billy Kong's interference had been so much worse than they had expected. Fortunately, between a powerful demon warlock, a trainee imp apprentice, the man mountain named Butler, a small squadron of LEPrecon specialists, and, naturally, our heroine and hero themselves, the entire mess was nearly averted.
They still ended up landing several days outside of what they had projected, but oh well. It had been rather fun, even, seeing how far Artemis and Holly could use their foreknowledge of events to influence what would and wouldn't happen.
It had been a joyride. They even managed to avoid dying once! Now though, they were back. Again.
Holly sighed and squeezed at the bridge of her nose. "Alright, Arty. What's the plan?"
"The plan?" Artemis said, obviously dislodged from his train of thought involuntarily. "Oh yes, the plan. The plan from here on out is our original plan. Or rather, my original plan. Just with fewer Trolls."
Holly rolled her eyes. "So... you want to repeat what happened the first time this all happened? Despite everything that's gone wrong?"
Artemis smirked. For Artemis Fowl, what went wrong wasn't a setback: it was a challenge. "Holly, I do believe that what doesn't kill you is a perfect learning opportunity, and since time is going to repeat itself again, then now is an excellent time to be taught."
Holly groaned. "I always hated school."
Artemis stood up and walked to the door. Throwing open the cell door, he stepped past Butler, who fell in behind him. "Artemis, should we expect any issues with our prisoner?"
Artemis shook his head. "Not tonight, Butler. Not tonight."
1.3: Ad Infinitum
Artemis suppressed a sigh as, for the fifth time, he found himself crouched in a cold hiding hole in a bog in the middle of Ireland. The chill air didn't help hold back his shudder.
Butler, bless his massive heart, could sense the change in his charge's disposition. "Artemis?" The word, innocuous, carried unfathomable weight.
Artemis turned his head minutely, hiding the suddenly hazel eye he had developed. Despite Butler's total loyalty to him and full willingness to believe him when he had explained that he was time traveling, Butler hadn't been fully able to deal with the situation immediately. It was best that Artemis wait for a while. "I'm having one of those 'gut feelings' you brag about. I think tonight is the night, Butler."
Butler's grip tightened around the gun ever so slightly. Artemis held in his sigh and waited as Madame Ko's disciple returned to staring stoically out at the tree and river bend.
Predictably, Holly touched down just beyond the riverbank, pulling her helmet off. Artemis gently tapped Butler's shoulder, a sign to be patient. "Trust me, Butler, we need to wait."
Holly had scrounged up an acorn and was now digging into the soft, loamy soil. What Butler and Artemis couldn't see was that Holly was stashing handfuls of dirt into her boot, along with a second acorn. Presently, the elf stepped aside from her hole, cradling the acorn. "Now, Butler."
The hiss of the air rifle was herald to Holly slumping against the tree. "Urgh... what? No..."
'She's being overly dramatic,' Artemis thought. Extracting himself from the hole, he led Butler to the rapidly fading elf. "Hello, Faerie."
Holly glanced at Artemis and growled dramatically. "Human, your will is mine."
Artemis rolled his eyes underneath his glasses. "Goodnight, Faerie," he said menacingly. Stepping over the faux-unconscious elf who was rapidly becoming actually unconscious, Artemis grabbed the helmet she had 'conveniently' dropped and turned it over, allowing it to partially capture his face. Needn't make it too easy for the Faeries. "Well, Faeries, I believe we have a game to play."
Artemis inverted the helmet, reached into the guts, and hit the connection switch. The connection terminated.
The plan was flawless. Every cog spun as it had to, and each and every action that was predicted came to pass. Without fail, the Lower Elements Police stormed Fowl Manor, knocked out Artemis, Butler, and Juliet, and summarily mind wiped them. As Artemis felt his consciousness seeping into the carpet he lay on (courtesy of a low-power shot from Holly's Neutrino), he smiled.
'Perfect work, Holly...'
Artemis Fowl was in shock, a truly rare occurrence. Similarly, Butler and Juliet were stunned. The only person who was acting anywhere approaching normal was Angelina Fowl, happily walking about the Fowl's kitchen, putting together a bowl of cereal (despite Butler's immediate offer to cook his standardly lavish morning meal). Angelina was smiling and eating and talking about Christmas preparations.
Juliet finally composed herself. "Miss Fowl, are you... feeling alright?"
Angelina smiled, albeit a wilted, weakened smile. "Oh, I'm fine. I am hungrier than the dickens though." A bit of life bled back into Angelina's smile. "So hungry I'm saying 'dickens'."
Artemis' shock at seeing his mother, his mother who just yesterday had been mad with grief, broke at the sight of her smile. Instantly, Artemis was transformed from a teenage mastermind with plans for global control to a young boy looking at his healed mother. He rushed to her and hugged her.
Behind it all, though, Butler was quiet. Thoughts of confusion and suspicion danced in his head, half-remembered thoughts building in his shaven cranium. The master bodyguard then looked at his charge, holding dearly on to his mother, and decided to suspend telling Artemis his suspicions until later. Even he wouldn't ruin this moment.
The days rolled by. Artemis, in his elation, had temporarily suspended all plans and designs. Currently he was trying to enjoy what time he had with his mother. The sudden interlude from the status quo was jarring to the Butler siblings, though. Juliet was honestly surprised and disturbed by Artemis' sudden shift in demeanor, to the point of discomfort in his cheerful company. Butler did share her sentiment to a lesser degree. Artemis had been... well, a rather disturbing child for so long that his sudden alteration to cheer and even the rare smile was a shock.
Butler had been taking the change in stride, though. Artemis had, for so long, struggled to shoulder the burdens of an adult that he had forgotten to be the child he was. Seeing him acting like this was both comforting and uncanny.
Beyond this, though, Butler didn't strongly worry for Artemis' health. His teacher, Madame Ko, had long stressed the safety of the principle, and with Angelina back around and Artemis temporarily acting his age, Butler could rest a little easier than the night before, and take care of what nascent responsibilities he had outside of Artemis. Like answering the door.
The doorbell had been unexpected and had drawn Butler to the front door to answer it. His training and instincts were telling him that something was up, as they had since Angelina had first returned to the land of the lucid. Glancing through the window, Butler froze at what he saw, before hastily yanking the door open to confirm what he saw. He would later spend a few hours kicking himself for such a blatant mistake, especially considering it could have resulted in his death from a bomb, or assassins. It was Artemis Fowl Sr., though: he took precedence over everything.
Butler had already pulled his phone out and dialed in for an EMT. "Yes, I need emergency assistance. We've found an unconscious man on our doorstep. Artemis! Angelina! We need an ambulance. I am taking his pulse now."
Butler gently checked Mr Fowl's pulse through his wrist, relieved to feel its gentle, rhythmic beat. "He is breathing, his pulse is normal... his name is Artemis Fowl Senior... No, he does not seem to have any specific abrasions or scars... Everything is as it should be..."
Angelina shrieked behind Butler and forced herself around the mountainous man. Butler stood up hastily, still relaying information through the phone to the doctor on the other side. Next to him, staring numbly at his joyfully sobbing mother and blissfully unconscious father, was Artemis, silently stunned.
Then Artemis pulled himself into the hug, embracing his parents. Butler decided that was good.
"...Sir?" the EMT on the other side of the phone said.
"Yes, I believe he will be fine. We'll all be fine."
Artemis opened the laptop, clicked through a selection of applications, and opened a voice log. "Audio log, date December sixteenth, twenty eleven. Today is Myles and Beckett's fourth birthday, and both are being rather... demanding, as usual."
Artemis wiped at a stray line of paint on his face. "The day is proceeding well regardless. The cake is up to par, even if the piñata was substandard. I must find some way to improve this infernal device. Certainly removing the blindfold and introducing skill to the game would be sufficient."
"Father and Mother, by all appearances, are enjoying themselves today. I would imagine that Myles' little stint as his own face painter is what achieved the effect. Myles is... getting better."
"Beckett seems to refuse to be outdone. He's already deduced all of his presents, bar Butler's. I will hand it to Butler, his grasp of children's psychology is impressive. No doubt he developed the skill after years of service to myself. The picture books were a nice touch to Beckett's cache though."
Artemis rubbed at his forehead. "Beyond this situation though... there is something else. A 'gut feeling' as Juliet would have called it. It's quite disturbing... as if I've forgotten something. I simply cannot... put my finger on it. Déjà vu may be an applicable... no..."
Artemis steepled his fingers, thoughtful. "I simply cannot -"
Artemis, having regressed from age eighteen to age twelve in an instant, was left in a certain amount of disorientation. After a moment of concentration, though, Artemis' memories returned with a metaphorical snap of his fingers. Artemis resisted the urge to chuckle as he recognized that he and Butler were ensconced in the blind that he had designed to conceal them from Faerie thermal imaging technology. It seemed that his little experiment had succeeded: memories, even those which had been removed by a mind wipe or destroyed by virtue of resurrection from death, were restored after time reset to this critical moment.
Artemis smiled and settled in for the long night. He and Holly had many, many more experiments to run, and it seemed all the time in the world to run them.
1.4: Eternity
In a small cafe just inside of London, Artemis Fowl sipped a glass of spring water. Butler stood next to him at full attention. Surrounding Artemis and Butler were some of the deadliest assassins in Europe, a hodgepodge of private military contractors, former KGB and NRA, Swiss soldiers, and of course Miss Juliet Butler. If Artemis could recall correctly, this happened to be the exact composition of violent folk who had been hired by Jon Spiro to kill him after he presented the C Cube.
Naturally though, Artemis had brought these men onto his payroll. Best to use your knowledge of the future, should you have it. He had already lived this point of his life seven times before. The eighth iteration would not be the point where he began to neglect his foreknowledge, and he planned to never allow Butler to experience the same tragedy that had nearly take his life the first time.
Artemis sipped his water again, slipping into his 'professional' mode. This did not, in any manner, significantly depart from his 'resting' mode, but it allowed him to be slightly more snarky. Addressing his oldest... well, second oldest friend now, Artemis spoke softly. "Butler, are you certain that your 'suit' is fitted well?"
Butler pulled at the high end Armani suit that Artemis had ordered for him in preparation for this job. "Artemis, if you are so worried about this, why did you arrange to meet Spiro here? Did you intend to enrage him to the point he would personally make an attempt on your life?"
"No Butler, but I do intend to exact a modicum of justice on this man," Artemis said. His tone left his control though, and the word 'justice' edged from being 'spoken' to 'growled'. Artemis frowned as he spoke.
Butler glanced at his charge. "Artemis, are you certain -"
"Absolutely."
In a manner that someone may have viewed as showy but Artemis simply saw as mediocre, the aging bastard known as Jon Spiro walked into the cafe, his bodyguard Arno Blunt in tow. Artemis marshaled and marshaled again his features, burying the abject disdain for the two men beneath layers of false joviality and pride. He was going to enjoy this. "Mister Spiro, welcome to London."
"Heh. Almost wished I'd stayed in Chicago," Spiro muttered. Grabbing a seat, the elderly business man grinned like a viper at Artemis. "So, mister Fowl, I have to admit I wasn't expecting someone quite like you."
"Someone older? Age is irrelevant in terms of genius," Artemis intoned, aware of the hypocrisy. "If you had such little confidence in my skills as an inventor, why would you have humored me with a visit?"
Spiro cackled venomously. "Well, when the great Artemis Fowl calls, what is there to do but answer? Besides, I liked your proposal. An entirely new frontier in technology? I'm looking for bit of newness at my age."
Artemis cocked an eyebrow. "And I take it that this has nothing to do with your competitors suddenly gaining a significant profit in stock?" A profit Artemis had caused, though no one needed to know about it.
Spiro growled. "Phoenix Tech is working on my foundation, ya hear me. I'm gonna wipe them out once we get your tech on the market."
Artemis nodded and smiled a smile that would have made a vampire proud. "What is this 'we' you are implying? A partnership? Hardly."
Jon blinked. "What the..."
Artemis scoffed. "The C Cube is an instrument of immense computational power. Do you really believe I would have parted with such a masterpiece?"
Spiro returned the scoff. "Well, well, the bird has some teeth. That masterpiece of yours sounds like quite the little jack in the box. Though I speak too soon. Who'd put their eggs in one basket when they haven't even seen what the basket is capable of?"
"A fool," Artemis stated. Leaning forward slightly, Artemis addressed the cube. "Cube, respond."
"Yes, Master Fowl," the Cube responded.
"Perform medical scan on subject Jon Spiro, relaying biochemical graph of notable substances in quantities exceeding biological norms within his body."
"Scanning," the Cube said. "Scan complete. Subject Jon Spiro currently has trace quantities of: Acetylene, Acetone, Bitropodoxin, Capchalogite, Methamp-"
Jon Spiro put an hand on the cube, silencing it. "How did it do that?" he asked in a strained tone.
Artemis' evil grin grew. "The Cube possesses a unique scanning function that enables it to process data from organic, analog, or digital means, along with several others I won't bore you with. Care to try it out?"
Spiro narrowed his eye and then spoke. "Cube. I have been dealing with several recent, shall we say, invasions of privacy. Detect and list all surveillance devices in the vicinity."
"Scanning, Mr Spiro," the Cube answered with just a slight intonation of disgust. "Scan complete. Currently, three unmarked vans are within range of this café. Two appear to be in the ownership of the CIA, while the third is an unknown party, most likely in your employ. An array of CCTV cameras are surrounding the café, though none are directed at us. Finally, a news van is parked down the street and is filming, though there is again no direct visual of this group. Summary complete. Would you like to listen again?"
"Nope," Spiro said. He reached forward and wrapped a hand around the cube, only for another hand to cover his own. Spiro glanced up at Artemis. "Boy... I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Artemis and Butler remained still, Artemis' hand firmly on the C Cube. "You and what army?" Artemis asked, indulging himself in theatrics.
Spiro frowned and looked around. None of the hitmen he had hired were moving, or even looking their way. Had he been slightly smarter, it would have occurred to him that Artemis had bought them off. Spiro glanced at Arno. "Well."
Arno pulled a gun out of his coat, and then Butler's hand lashed out like a cobra, knocking the safety on. Butler proceeded to pull the gun from Arno's hand, remove the receiver, eject the clip, and pull the firing pin before squeezing the gun's metal ever so slightly, ruining it.
This all happened in three seconds flat.
Blunt and Spiro stared at the disassembled gun and at Butler, before going back to Artemis. Artemis smiled, and removed Spiro's hand from the Cube. "Cube, cease recording and transmission."
"Recording and transmission ceased," the Cube said. Spiro went paler than a sheet.
"Record..."
"Congratulations, Spiro, you've had your bodyguard pull a gun on a minor. Bravo. Enjoy your stint in prison." Artemis stood, nodded to Spiro, and left the building.
Then all the hitmen and women in the room turned to stare at Spiro. The elderly bastard gulped. "Mommy."
Outside the bar, Butler glanced at his ward. "Artemis, what was that?"
"Revenge," Artemis admitted.
And revenge was sweet.
1.5: Till Death
Deep beneath the earth, a small, luxury stealth shuttle barreled through the deep, dead magma tubes that made up the Faerie tunnel network. Inside the shuttle, five beings (three pixies, one elf, and one human) were either strapped down or moving about the cabins. One of the pixies, the ever-insane Opal Koboi, smirked at her human and elf prisoners. "I would have thought you two would have been a more difficult fight, and though obviously I was wrong, I do prefer this arrangement."
Artemis and Holly rolled their eyes. "I would have rather liked to disappoint," Artemis muttered to Opal.
Opal grinned a maniac's grin. "Oh, but a boy such as yourself must have had fun. After all, being taken by a beauty such as..." Opal winked lasciviously.
Artemis glanced at Holly. "Hon, I think this silly floozy is trying to seduce me."
"Sweetums, I can only imagine the reasons why she wouldn't," Holly replied with equal sarcasm.
Opal mock-pouted. "Ooh, you two are always such spoilsports. Can't a little pixie have her fun?"
Holly glanced at Artemis. Artemis glanced at Holly. And the two burst out laughing.
Opal blinked. "Um... what?"
"Hahaha-have your fun? If you think this is fun for you, then it's a game for us," Holly choked out.
Artemis suppressed his snickers as Holly continued. "Koboi, you don't know what you're dealing with. You're working against the best, let me repeat, the best Lower Elements Policewoman under the world, and most certainly on it. I am allied with humanity's finest and most devious mind. And then there's the fact that your plan is insane."
Opal bristled, her slowly building fury fighting against her common sense... or what was left of it in her psychotic mind. "My plan is insane? No, you're insane. You've lost it if you're going to antagonize me."
Artemis rolled his eyes. "Koboi, to reiterate a point that has been stated more times than you've pulled off this little plan of yours, you have long since passed the point of average, everyday evil, and have graduated to cartoonish super villainy. Due to my preparations, I would imagine that Butler, Mulch, possibly even Major Trouble Kelp, have already interfered with the launch of the Zito core probe. Opal, the only act that remains is to escape and bring you to justice in Haven. I am sure that Foaly and Trouble will be looking forward to throw you in jail... assuming Holly does not succeed in performing the act first."
Opal's temper flared, stray sparks of Magic flicking on her hands. "Cartoonish... Fowl, I am going to enjoy seeing the Trolls rip you two to shreds." After a moment, though, a look of tranquility overtook Opal's face. "Yes... You two shredded by Trolls. Mmm... a happy thought, aren't I right?"
"Right..." Holly drawled.
"Mervall!" Opal called through the shuttle's cabin. A moment after her call, Mervall Brill, one of her two henchmen, entered the room. He very pointedly averted his eyes as Opal gestured him over. "As you can imagine, being looked at directly is terrible for my skin. I find it rather detestable."
"Is that an invitation to HURK!"
Artemis and Holly stared Opal dead in the eyes for a millisecond before glancing down at Artemis's chest. The smoking hole that Opal had blasted in it with Mervall's Softnose laser rifle glowed back at them. Artemis seized and passed out from the pain. Holly slowly gasped. "No..."
Opal giggled as Artemis' corpse sagged. "Oh what a lovely day. Wh t a lo-o-o-/yyyy$ 2)(2
Holly jumped awake in the restaurant in Italy that she always started in. The LEP were racing around, trying to contain/cover-up the Troll attack, Root was screaming at her, and one thought was on Holly's mind. "Artemis."
"What?" Root said.
Holly leapt up, engaged her wing rig, and launched out the window she had rode in through. "SORRY COMMANDER!" she called behind herself, even as she rocketed into the atmosphere, heading to a small, ancient tree perched on a river bend in Ireland.
Artemis Fowl gasped as his awareness snapped back into his twelve year old body. Without ado, he staggered out of the blind and made it ten feet before doubling over and spewing forth the contents of his stomach. All the while his hand grasped at his whole, untarnished chest, searching for the hole his subconscious screamed was there.
"ARTEMIS!" Butler roared, racing to his young charge's side. The premier guardian scooped up the heir, visually examining him. Artemis, on the surface, was hale and hearty, even if he was fighting down what little bile his body still possessed. The lack of visual cues to his sudden change in health was not something that soothed Butler's fears. "Artemis, we're going to the hospital."
"What?" Artemis choked out, green in the face as he swallowed sick. "No... Butler, no."
"I'm not asking Artemis," Butler said, turning to leave, abandoning the blind and the supplies. "You're ill, and we're going to see a doctor and learn why."
"Butler..."
Domovoi Butler looked into his charge's mismatched eyes.
"Domovoi, we stay."
Instantly, Butler's decisiveness evaporated under Artemis shocking statement. Shaking off the confusion, Butler set Artemis down and, after inhaling deeply to rest his nerves, the student of Madame Ko spoke. "Artemis, how do you know my name?"
Artemis made his way, slowly but steadily, to the gnarled tree. "It is a long story, Butler. To be concise... I am a time traveler, and now I need to speak with Captain Holly Short. She'll be arriving soon to perform the ritual. We won't need the mirrored glasses."
Butler sighed quietly, accepting the complete alteration of his world as Artemis stated the facts. "If you say so, Artemis."
Artemis gently sat himself down at the base of the tree, letting the natural curve of the oak become his cradle. "I'll give a more expansive explanation in time, Butler. I merely wish to use some of that time to rest."
Butler didn't respond, instead turning around and returning to the blind to collect his Glock sidearm and the pneumatic rifle. Artemis made no comment as Butler took to a defensive position and rested.
Presently, the nearly silent hum of wings and a flying blue speck falling from the clouds heralded Holly's arrival. Pulling her helmet off, the Elf ran to Artemis' side and knelt to eye level. "Artemis, do-"
"Yes, Holly."
Holly sighed, her breath escaping her explosively. "Gods, that was too much. Without you... D'Arvit."
Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Did something happen while I was away?" he asked nonchalantly, as if his death were a trivial detail.
Holly pulled her helmet off and looked at Artemis. "That's... It's not important right now, Artemis. Just tell me that you're okay."
"...I'm alright," Artemis said.
It was at that moment that Foaly remotely switched the speakers of Holly's helmet on, and patched Root into Holly's comm line. "Short, do explain to me why you are making googly eyes at the Mud Boy, why you have disregarded protocol to meet with him, and why you're -"
Holly switched the helmet speakers off and slipped the helmet back on. "Commander, we're dealing with a significant issue at the moment. Namely, time travel. I'll let Artemis handle the details for you."
Foaly broke into the conversation. "Time travel? What, have you gone Section 8 on us?"
Holly glanced at Artemis and Butler, who were discussing the situation in hushed tones. "Something like that, Foaly. Yeah, something like that."
1.6: Job Titles.
There was a knock at Artemis' door. The prodigy boy, having not been expecting the knock, eventually answered it himself. The person standing at the door was... surprising.
Holly Short was at the door, in a green three piece suit with a belted hat and pointed shoes. In short, the attire of the stereotypical leprechaun. The leprechaun pulled off her hat, reached in, and pulled out a pot of gold. "Room and board? Because I am so done this time."
Artemis took the pot of gold, which turned out to be a big mistake. After barely avoiding the unsightly crushing of his toes, Artemis pulled a gold coin out of the pot and bit it. Seeing as the gold did not bend, Artemis took it to be genuine (since real gold coins did not bend when bitten). "I would take it that something rather... disturbing has occurred."
"You don't say," Holly grumbled. Flopping gracelessly down on a couch in the Fowl's living room, Holly kicked up her feet. "I don't get it. This is the twenty first time we have lived in this period. The twenty first time you've been twelve. Why is this loop different from all the others? How could this have happened?"
Artemis sat on a loveseat, reclining slightly. "Holly, may I say I have no idea why this iteration of time is any different from the previous twenty recurrences. Though..." Artemis chewed on his cheek, thinking. "If I recall correctly, my obsession with Faerie-kind is... non-existent."
"Meaning no time travel," Holly surmised.
"Meaning I never encountered myself after selling Jay Jay, which in turn leads to my past self never learning of Faeries or being poorly mind-wiped by No 1. Which means that I never sought out Faeries, and in turn, never tried to kidnap you."
"Well, I ended up in your grasp anyway," Holly muttered. She stretched out and sighed. "So, looking forward to having a real leprechaun under your roof?"
"Lepre-what?" Juliet Butler said as she walked into the room. Then she saw Holly and Artemis and threw up her hands. "Uh... I didn't walk into some sort of role-play, did I?"
Artemis clicked his tongue. Holly facepalmed.
This would be a long six years.
1.7: One Woman Army
The volcano of Hybras:
Scrambling up the ashen, craggy slopes of the mountain, Artemis, Qwan, and No. 1 finally reached the lip of the crater, looking down into the gaping, smoking maw. Far below them, Leon Abbott and his army of Demons had formed up into their ranks, prepared to escape their temporal limbo and enter the human world. If none of those present had been aware that Demons were merely another family of Faerie, they would have thought they had walked into a religious apocalypse. As it was, the sight remained one of great awe and inspiration for Artemis: a true demonstration of the potential of Magic and Magical manipulation, even if this was his thirty-fourth time seeing it.
Artemis pulled a megaphone out of the bag of supplies Holly had been lugging around since their arrival. "You have any words for them, Qwan, No. 1?"
Qwan shook his head. "I'll let you lead, Artemis. I'm still trying to figure out how much Magic we'll need to move Hybras back to earth. No. 1?"
The fledgling Imp warlock shook his head. "I don't think I really have anything to say right now... oh, see that guy at the head of the army? That's Abbott."
"Duly noted," Artemis said. Flicking the megaphone on, Artemis addressed the demonic army bent on raising hell on earth. "Attention, jackasses."
The army visibly ground to a halt at Artemis' loud address, broke from their collective revelry. Artemis followed up. "The demon who is leading your armed forces -"
"A MUD MAN!" an Imp screamed from inside the crater. Around him the other Imps began screaming, either in confusion or bloodlust. The elder demons started shouting them back into order, but very little would contain them.
Amongst the fully warped demons, Leon Abbott marched out and stared up at the lip of the crater, sneering. "A human? Here? How is such a thing..." Abbott trailed off as he noticed the two Imps alongside Artemis. "YOU!"
"Us," No. 1 said laconically. Qwan raised an eyebrow as he noted the oddly familiar demon. He had been told that Abbott had been in the original war against the Mud Men and had been thrown forward in time, but he hadn't been told Abbott's identity as N'zall, or that he was controlling the Magic of his apprentice Qweffor. Artemis hadn't any way to verify such claims before, and so had elected to suspend explanation of the facts to a later time.
Abbott thrust his sword at Qwan. "Traitor! You're the leader of the Warlocks, who stole our rightful victory from us at the battle of Taillte!"
"Hey guys, I'm all set up back here," Holly said from behind the crater. Artemis, Qwan and No. 1 all stopped staring at the demon army to check on Holly's hard work.
Qwan shrugged. "If it comes to that, then it does."
"Good," Holly said, cresting the lip and leveling a very big Neutrino at Abbott's head. "Goodbye, snakes head." The rifle pulsed, and Abbott fainted. The Demon Army very, very quickly dissolved into complete chaos from there, before turning on the demon pair and their itinerary. Artemis, Qwan and No. 1 ducked beneath the slope of the volcano and waited.
Five minutes (thirty in the case of some Demons and Imps, thanks to screwy time mechanics) later, Holly holstered the hilariously oversized and overpowered Neutrino onto her back and stared down at the field of unconscious, prone demons that had once been a fearsome army. "Well, that was fun."
Artemis pulled a nuclear fusion battery out of the bag that Holly had brought up the mountain. "Well, now. Abbott is down, so we have an opportunity: we have the power, the mages, and the spell. We just need to land the island."
"If I recall correctly, Artemis, we needed five Magical beings, and only have three: myself, No. 1, and Holly. I thought you were smarter than this," Qwan said.
Artemis smiled and allowed a small spark of Magic to erupt from his hand. "I was getting to that, Qwan. Leon has some… advantages, so to say, over the average demon. Trust me: I am not merely smart. I am exceptional."
Holly pulled the fusion battery and heaved it over her shoulder. "Are we ready? Because with time running in, up, left and out, we'll need to hurry." Holly hopped over the edge of the volcano and began to slide down the ashen banks.
"Allow me to correct myself," Artemis said after a moment of watching Holly's back. "We are exceptional."
1.8: Rabbit Time
The temporal iterations, as Artemis referred to them, were an utterly fascinating phenomenon. It was a purely physical reset for all of reality, excluding himself and Holly. Only memories carried over, and if those memories were removed during the iteration, they were restored at the beginning of the next. Beyond that, the only physical mark of the iterations was... well, the hazel eye in Artemis' left socket.
He couldn't explain why he had kept Holly's eye, or why she had kept his. It had certainly made for a number of awkward conversations, though, seeing as it only manifested when the iteration occurred. In Holly's words: it was downright weird.
Artemis was quite in agreement with the sentiment.
Hence why he intended to plumb the depths of the strangeness of time this fine, if hot, day. This was the reason why he and his faithful bodyguard Butler were standing in the hot sun in Barcelona, Spain. They were waiting for a very particular demon to arrive, Butler waiting vigilantly (with a brace of silver chains running up his arm to pull Artemis back to the present) and Artemis himself, quite naked of silver ornaments, patiently awaiting their temporal visitor.
Presently, Butler spoke. "Artemis, are you certain that your so-called 'demon' will be arriving soon?"
"Absolutely, Butler. Precisely three minutes and forty-seven seconds out, if you are wondering. Once they have arrived, you must be sure to take me by the shoulder. Remember?"
"Absolutely, Artemis," Butler stated, having already gone through the scenario several dozen times within his head. Artemis claimed that his preparations would be sufficient to deal with almost any contingency, though he had welcomed Butler to fashion his own emergency plans. Hence why, not two blocks away from Artemis and Butler, Juliet and Holly were sitting in a black, heavily armored sedan, recording the situation from a distance.
Inside the sedan, Holly brought up a holograph of the area surrounding Artemis and Butler's location, a mosaic of red and green dots on a canvas of blue lines. "This is Commander Holly Short, radio check seven. T-minus two hundred and twenty seven seconds. All units channel in."
"Unit one, in."
"Unit two, in."
"Unit three, locked and loaded."
"Unit four, good to go."
"Unit five, all visuals checking out."
"..."
"Unit seven, cocked, locked and ready to rock."
"Unit eight, in. Frond damnit, Grub, get off your ass."
"But mummy said-"
"Corporal," Holly growled through the comm link.
"Ugh. Unit six, in."
Holly checked in with the outer perimeter squad leader, Raine Vinyaya, and opened a private channel to Trouble Kelp, the local team leader. "Trouble, you think your men are ready?"
Trouble, under Magical shielding and perched neatly on the rooftop directly above and behind Artemis and Butler, channeled up to Holly's private frequency. "Holly, I don't know what to think. You're claiming a demon is going to pop out of thin air and you're letting Fowl go along for the ride?"
"Artemis is our best asset when it comes to the situation. After all, he's the smartest time traveler we have at our disposal," Holly interjected.
"I still think it should be someone with actual training. You're the Commander, dammit. Why not toss yourself in?"
Holly rolled her eyes. "The temporal anomaly of the island of Hybras is something Artemis worked out himself with only a handful of data points and guess work. When it comes to him, he's our best and brightest in this field."
"Right..." Trouble grumbled. "Look, Holly, I still think this is a big mistake."
"He did it the first time, and saved our asses while doing it," Holly countered.
"I know, you told us all that, but can he really handle himself? The mud-boy can barely hold a Neutrino, let alone fight a demon."
"The demon won't be fighting back."
Trouble sighed. "You're sure this will work?"
"No, but if worst comes to worst he'll just have some swapped fingers."
"You're kidding."
Holly rolled her mismatched eyes. "Trubs, I'm giving you my word that Artemis will be our best chance at this."
"Ugh..." Major Trouble Kelp's groan crackled in the airwaves. "Commander, your call. I'll see it through. Just don't call me Trubs."
"Thanks for the warning Trouble. Radio clear." Holly switched back to the public channel and checked the time again. "T-minus 163 seconds to arrival. Signal and recording jams team, get ready and get on your toes. We don't want any surprises."
"Projectors one through three and five and six are good, but projector four has blown a fuse. We're patching it up-"
"No, leave it. Just focus on keeping our working projectors working. We don't want any surprises for the Mudmen up here."
"Affirmative. Radio clear."
Holly pressed the mute button on her headset and grumbled. "At least it's all working out."
"I wouldn't be surprised it was," Juliet said, idly stripping a twenty-two magnum. "Artemis did plan out this entire encounter, and you say you're both time travelers. What could go wrong?"
Holly nodded gently. "We have a lot of practice. I just hate being in the sidelines."
"Well, we can get closer if you want to," Juliet said pointedly.
"No, Artemis planned for us to be at exactly this position. If he says we stay, we stay," Holly pointed out.
Juliet chuckled. "You've been in these... what do you call them, time loops? You've been here way too long: you're imitating my brother now."
"Butler has a good head on his shoulders," Holly said neutrally.
The Eurasian girl next to Holly smiled. "That he does."
Holly grabbed the radio again. "T-minus 100 seconds. Everyone, whatever you're doing, drop it and pick up a gun. Curtains are coming up soon."
The affirmatives rang in, even if Grub's was a little slow. After the response though, Holly bit her lip and channeled up to Artemis' private comm line. "Artemis, are you certain me and Juliet are supposed to be this far back?" she asked in Gnommish.
"Completely," Artemis stated confidently across the link. To the wider world though, they would think he was talking to himself. "You and Juliet must be exactly three hundred feet away: close enough to intervene in a timely manner, but far enough back to avoid suspicion."
"Said suspicion coming from miss Minerva Paradizo," Holly surmised.
Down the street, Artemis glanced at the cafe across from him and Butler, where Minerva Paradizo and her father and bodyguards were taking tea and coffee. For a moment the physically young genius admired the once equally brilliant young girl who had come close to outsmarting him. Then he shook himself out of it and damned his teenaged hormones. "Holly, I assure you, your suspicions is correct. There are many dangers you must be aware of as Commander now, and much riding on you. Julius did not retire for nothing."
Holly nodded to herself. "T-minus fifty seconds Arty. Get ready."
Artemis flinched. "Arty? Really?"
"What?"
"Nothing."
Holly went to the public channel. "T-minus forty. Everybody at the ready."
"Ready!" was the collective statement. Holly smiled.
"Then lets get the show on the road. Holo-projectors?"
"Check."
"Inner perimeter?"
"Check."
"Out perimeter?"
"Check."
"T-minus thirty." Holly shut off her connection for a brief second. "Juliet, start forward. We're going to get closer to Artemis."
Juliet smiled. "Now that's what I'm talking about." She turned the engine over and shifted into first.
"T-minus twenty. Grub, Trouble, are you two ready?"
Trouble glanced at Grub, who had shouldered his Neutrino and was aiming at the approximate spot a Demon would appear. "We're all set here Holly. Give the word."
"Go forward," Holly said to Juliet. The sedan began to roll forward, towards Artemis and Butler. "T-minus ten."
"Commander, what are you doing?" Artemis said through the comm link.
"T-minus five."
Artemis sighed. 'I hope this works.'
The air, for a second, seemed to bend and flex in front of Artemis, before the holo-projectors his the newly appeared demon to everyone except Artemis and Butler. The tall, red skinned and horned demon, looking like a live children's nightmare, looked at Artemis and Butler. "Salutations from the dear Lady Worthington."
Artemis grabbed the Demon by the shoulder just as Butler grabbed him by the shoulder. "Let's go, demon."
And the world spiraled away.
Magically induced time travel is not the most exact science, and could even be called an art by more poetic mages. While the form of time travel is simple, merely require a solid entry and exit point, the nature of the power source complicates the manner tenfold. Imagine, if you will, harnessing the power of Mother Nature, channeling it through an emotional, living form, and then using it to bend the most powerful force in the universe. Naturally, time travel is very complicated and prone to flukes and mistakes in equal measure.
Artemis Fowl and his demon companion were now witnessing one of those flukes first hand, falling deep into the temporal rabbit hole. Artemis glanced at the rapidly shifting, dissolving and flickering landscapes of the time stream, as centuries and eons rocketed past both too slow and too fast for a mortal man to see. "Hmm... Calm yourself demon. It seems we are on quite a ride."
The demon Artemis was traveling with had digressed into furious hysterics, but his words brought the Faerie back to it's senses, at least due to shock. "You speak Faerie tongue?"
"Obviously, and much better than you," Artemis muttered. Raising his hands, Artemis concentrated. "Now then... speak to me universe… reveal your secrets."
Slowly, perhaps most like liquid lightning, a sprinkling of blue sparks escaped from Artemis' hands. It was no great quantity; barely a dash, enough to heal a cut, or let Artemis speak Swahili. It was as much as Artemis could easily control, but it was all his own.
Perhaps what had most immediately allowed Artemis to determine that he and Holly were not merely time traveling... other than their eyes of course, was her Magic, and his own. Holly had reported, after the seventh iteration of time, that she seemed capable of retaining a nascent quantity of Magic in her system, certainly more than what she had whenever she began the iteration. By now, the fifty fifth time Artemis and Holly had lived their lives, Holly could stockpile as much Magic as her body would allow. The more surprising addition was Artemis though.
Artemis had made it a policy to steal as much Magic as he could from the time stream when Qwan, No 1, Holly and himself traveled to Hybras. The reasoning he gave Holly was simplistic: Magic was an incredible resource and one not meant to be wasted. Since he could, why shouldn't he?
And yet, to his surprise but not shock, it was during the thirtieth iteration, not four repeats ago, that he found himself able to heal. Incredibly, Artemis, a mere human boy, had gained the Magic of the Faeries. It had stunned him.
Now though, the Magic was needed. Artemis pumped a minuscule amount of his personal Magic into the time stream, the equivalent of fluorescent dye into water. Next to him, the demon watched in silent awe as a mud-man harnessed Magic.
The Magical energies swirled out and melded with the turbulent stream, bonding to it and vanishing. Artemis released another stream, and then another, slowly building his influence. "Now then... take me to Holly."
The time stream, infused with Artemis' Magic and bonded to his emotions... did absolutely nothing. Artemis may have had a humans Magic, but he couldn't time travel. The heir to the Fowl estate frowned as the world shunted into reality around him. "One hypothesis disproven: human Magic, at my level, cannot influence the time... stream..."
Artemis and the demon were coalescing, forming into solid beings. Around them, the world shifted and rounded, but it was unlike any place on earth Artemis could have seen. It could not exist on earth in any manner.
All around Artemis, the branches and leaves of an ineffably huge tree were taking shape. The tree... Was beyond him. Pain surged through his eyes as he gazed into it's depths, swirling and breaking against his mind. Artemis knelt, and screamed.
Holly screamed in the car, agony lancing out of her eye socket. Her left eye socket. Shutting her eye did nothing to stop the pain, but instead built the reality of what she, what Artemis was seeing, even clearer. "Oh gods..." Holly said as she saw the vast tree Artemis was witnessing.
The LEP commander seized the comm from Juliet, who was already signaling Butler. "Butler, get him out of there, now!"
Across the street, Butler tightened his grip on Artemis' shoulder, planted his feet, and heaved. All of reality seemed to distort, straining to pull Butler into the time stream with his young charge. Butler gritted his teeth, and pulled right back.
With a 'pop' of Magic, Artemis Fowl staggered from the strange, ineffable place he had seen, and back into reality. Butler picked Artemis up, cradled him gently, and casually ran to Juliet and Holly's car, stepping in with speed and grace. "Get us out of here," he ordered gravely. Juliet was happy to comply.
Holly squeezed her all too sensitive human eye shut and opened a comm link to Haven. "Foaly, are you downloading the feed from Artemis' iris-can?"
"Done and done, but... something's wrong," the subterranean centaur said. "There's a segment missing from the cam: approximately seven seconds long, right towards the end. It's like the camera shut down, but it started working the moment Artemis returned."
Artemis leaned forward, his Faerie eye shut against the light. Butler tried to pull Artemis back, but his charge waved him off. "Foaly, would you believe if I told you I saw a giant tree, bigger than the world itself?"
Down below in Haven, Foaly raised an eyebrow. "Define 'bigger than the world itself'."
"Exactly that," Artemis said simply. "I could not succeed in viewing it for an extended period of time. It caused physical pain to examine."
"Artemis, what happened in there?" Butler asked gently, trying to force his young charge back into his seat as Juliet weaved through the streets of Barcelona.
Artemis paused, and then smiled. "I believe I've witnessed another piece of this strange temporal puzzle Butler. Soon, I suspect, myself and Holly will be escaping the curious temporal iterations we are caught up in. All we need is to further examine-"
"No."
"...I beg your pardon?"
Holly glanced back at Artemis, both Faerie and Human eyes open and drilling into Artemis. "Artemis Fowl, under no circumstances are you to attempt to perform such a dangerous task again. Your mind was almost ripped to shreds by... whatever it was we saw in the time stream. As the only military personnel present in this situation, and as your friend, I refuse to let you repeat this act."
Artemis, Butler and Juliet all stared at Holly, who returned to her computer screens and began coordinating the breakup of the LEPrecon's presence in Barcelona. In less than half an hour, no one would know that the Faeries were there, let alone what they had done.
As the streets slowly cleared and Juliet began driving the car towards the distant shuttle station that the LEP had used for staging, Artemis frowned gently, and tapped Holly's shoulder. "Holly, are you certain-"
"Yes, Arty. You're not going back in there."
Artemis, for a moment, thought of rebelling, but soon returned to silence. There were be future iterations, he consoled himself. In time, he and Holly would be free from this strange temporal prison. They wouldn't be alone.
Artemis furrowed his eyebrow. He and Holly weren't alone, they had each other. Which... wait...
Artemis blinked, shook his head from the thoughts, and returned to watching the passing countryside.
In the front seat, Holly finalized the exit strategy and went dark in the radio as the Lower Elements Police began breaking camp. Glancing out the window, Holly watched the beautiful surface world rush past. Human development had long since shattered the peace of nature, but the sights remained, even if slightly diminished. Holly lost herself in her thoughts.
Foaly and the best of Haven's minds had turned on Artemis and Holly's predicament like wolves on rabbits. Repeated, involuntary, mental time travel. It was beyond amazing to them, and they had spent months arguing the facts. With the island of Hybras only three years away from arrival and No 1 set to enter the world soon enough, the chances to study time travel had never been better. The theories were vast and complex and had left Holly rolling her eyes at their incredulity. She wasn't a scientist, she was a soldier. A fighter. The science of the loops, as she called them, would be left to Artemis. She would be the one keeping them alive.
Her job, thus far, had also been to avert as many tragedies as possible. The Goblin Rebellion was squashed easily enough. Opal Koboi was so far behind bars Holly knew she would never see the light of day. Commander Julius Root was alive, well, and retired, living in the remote tropics and getting a tan, enjoying one of Artemis' private islands. With these problems solved, Holly Short was left to watch the world spiral along towards the return of Hybras. This little stint though...
Holly wouldn't lie to herself. After fifty five repeats of time, Holly was beginning to wonder, to worry, when it would end. Six years, by fifty five, plus her own eighty, left Holly feeling older, more jaded, than she knew she had any right to be. She and Artemis had altered the time line so much so many times, saving countless lives in the process. And it all amounted to nothing in the end. Only she and Arty remained.
'Only me and Arty...' Holly didn't dwell on why or how or when Artemis had become 'Arty' in her mind. She didn't care any more. She knew Artemis almost better than she knew herself: almost two hundred years of time travel would do that to you and the only living being who traveled with you.
This latest stint was their grand attempt: one final try to see how reality was working, why time was looping for them. But having seen... that tree... Holly knew something, deep in herself.
She and Artemis were in for the long haul. They were never getting out.
The time passed. The sun grew low on the horizon, casting long shadows. Artemis and Holly watched the world race by, silent, unheard thoughts echoed between their minds. Strange minds, after all, thought alike.
'At least we have each other...'
A/N: Well, there you go. A new story to love and cherish. Enjoy!
1.1: Welcome, Master Fowl and Mistress Short. You can check out any time you like,,,
1.2: ...But you can never leave.
1.3: Memories are the key, if you're an AI.
1.4: A dish best served with tap water ice in fresh spring water.
1.5: The strange eons have come. Even death has died.
1.6: Potato, potahto, Sasha Braus.
1.7: Our heroine, everybody. Dynamic and realistic and challenged but undeniably a badass.
1.8: How far down does the rabbit hole go?