Harry Potter and the Magicless Man
Authors note: Note that I don't own Harry Potter or Magicless men. Lolololol but I do own this story and it's AWESOME review now.
I have no magic, wailed the man.
Harry Potter vomited in disgust. He had never witnessed an unmagicing before; the sight was appalling. It made sense he supposed. The gift of magic was so intimately connected to a wizard's being, present in both body and soul. Magic is not something that can be disregarded lightly; it cannot be thrown away. The pain in the mans eyes was to be expected. His tortured writhing, anticipated. Unsurprising. The man was being torn apart. His magic stolen.
Harry Potter continued vomiting in disgust. It was truly a disgusting sight. He was surprised to see that he was the only one vomiting, for the image was so disgusting. Lord Albus Dumbledore grasped his shoulder in what was meant to be a comforting gesture. "It is alright my boy, there is no man more deserving. You witnessed his monstrous nature firsthand. You above all were wronged."
"My lord, he is…," Harry caught himself, "He was my friend." Harry's mind flicked back to the first time he had met Ronald Weasley. His young mind was overwhelmed by all of the wondrous events surrounding him. He was whisked from his negligent family into the arms of the fatherly king of magical Britain. It took his cracked hands, hardened by work and weather, weeks to acclimate themselves to the softness of clean linens and the delicacy of parchment. It took his mind far longer to comprehend the complexities of regal spoken language and written word. He was not ungrateful for the transition, but at times he longed for the simple life he had once known.
At times like those Harry would turn to the Weasleys. They were similar to the Dursleys, the kinsmen he left, in status but not disposition. They were kind instead of hard. Compassionate instead of vindictive. He would often times retreat to their small but intimate hovel in secret. Escaping the pressure, rigor, and expectations of Lord Dumbledore's regal manse. He could laugh and play freely. Let the cooling mud flow through his toes instead of the scratchy wool of expensive carpeting. Harry felt that the incantations and wand movements, that were being drilled into his head by his tutors, held far less magic than the Weasley's home. The magic of family.
All that changed that evening. Ronald was no longer an ally, not in any sense. And he couldn't ever go back to that house. It would be far to awkward. Still, Harry couldn't stand to see his ex friend, his ex compadre, his ex chum in this state. It made him sick to his stomach. Hence, all the vomit. He began to sob gently.
He thought back to the events of that morning. All started out normal. Ron woke up earlier than Harry, and went straight to his bed to wake him. This, of course, was the norm. Every morning Ron was excited about something or other. This morning, it was the field trip they were to take in Ye Olde Runes, a truly exciting class. Ron was real psyched for the trip, because he loved the magic and history behind the runes.
When the time for the trip came, disaster struck. Professor Bundlegast had lost Ron's permission slip! Ron was angry. Very angry. After some heated discussion, Bundlegast gave in and let Ron go, as Ron was always a good student and it was likely the form was just lost. Still, however, Ron was not happy about the situation, and he vowed revenge. He whispered to Harry, "Just wait and see what I can do with these magic runes." Harry, thinking Ron was planning a minor prank, laughed, expressing how he couldn't wait. Little did Harry know the nefarious plans Ron had for not only Bundlegast, but the entire student body.
The trip went as well as could be expected: Harry learned some runes, he learned some history, he learned some magic, and he learned the history of some magic runes. "It's too bad Ron wasn't here. He would've loved all those runes and history and magic, and especially the history of those magic runes." Harry needn't have worried though. In the absence of the class, Ron had spent some time learning some magic runes of his own, and was very happy with what he had figured out. The rest of the class wouldn't be so happy when they came back and learned what Ron's Runes were capable of…
They were capable of great evil. So much evil. I can't even believe how much evil they were capable of. It was heinous how much evil they were capable. Of. They were evil runes. They were Ron's evil runes.
Runes so evil that speaking of them make them more evil. Runes runes runes. Ron was unaware of the evilness of his runes. "I love runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes, runes" said Ron.
But how could you not love these runes, I mean you light em you smoke em, and you light em again. Sooner or later ron stopped going to school in general. Rons parents noticed that ron seemed depressed lately. One night rons parents caught ron masturbating with a large pot of runes on the side. At that point the parents knew exactly what to do. They called up dr. phil and had the most epic televised intervention ever. Dr. Phil told ron "Ron, the runes are obviously a way to hide away your anger at your parents, Mom and Dad, why do you send your son to hog warts anyway? You need to spend more time with your son, not send him off to some fancy boarding school where you never see him. Ron, you're a spoiled kid and you need to stop using theses runes and get on with your life." Later after the show Dr. Phil came up personally to Ron and asked how he could get some of the magical runes himself. Showbiz is hard you know. Harry potter saw these transactions where going on and threatened to black mail ron, saying he would tell about the magic runes biz to the head of Hogwarts. And Ron would be kicked out.
Then Ron had his magic sucked out, which made Harry vomit in disgust.
The end.