Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight saga. The wonderful Stephanie Meyer does.
A/N: This is my take on Bella's change after the wedding and after she gets some. Or at least tries to get some. I really tried to keep everyone as in character as possible.
Also, I got a review saying that I made it sound like Edward has fangs. I know he doesn't have fangs, but I do know that his teeth are just razor sharp in general. Its part of the reason he doesn't want to go all french with Bella. If you don't believe me go to the Twilight Lexicon website. :)
Changed
We sat together in the meadow that was so sacred to both of us. This was especially true since now it would be the place where I would die and be reborn again. The place where I would lose the life I've known forever.
Inwardly, I was terrified. And strangely, it wasn't because of the pain I would endure or the fact that I might lose my soul forever. Even the loss of my family and friends didn't hurt as much as I had thought it would. The goodbyes were on a good note.
But, I was terrified of hurting innocent people, of being uncontrollable.
So many doubts were circling my mind when it came to this. That is why this needed to be done now. Before I changed my mind for the first time in my life.
He knelt into me and pressed his lips against my neck. I could feel the tension as he breathed cold, sweet air onto me. I shivered at the feeling as Edward's icy lips began to caress my heated skin. I was burning up from the anticipation and nerves as I waited for him to take me and make me his forever.
Edward began his torture by kissing up my neck slowly, letting his nose trail over my jaw. His cold lips soon began down to circle soft kisses over my artery and I leaned my head back, giving him better access. I could tell that this alarmed him as his lips pursed from tension.
"Are you sure about this, Bella?" He looked up at me with those beautiful gold eyes.
I looked down at him, holding back every hidden fear I had of this.
"I love you, Edward. This is what I want."
He studied me with sad and defeated eyes. They smoldered with brilliance even as he was about to kill me.
"This will be painful."
"I know." I gulped mentally.
Edward clenched his jaw and closed his eyes as he sighed, letting me take in his sweet breath once more.
"I think though…" He started.
"Yes?" I ebbed him to continue on.
Edward took another breath before continuing. I could tell that he was uneasy about what was to be said.
"If I… Drain you, your change may be faster. Perhaps, the morphine would be more effective," His eyes were searching mine, "Would you be okay with that?"
My eyes widened.
"You're going to drink my blood?" I trailed off a little surprised.
He looked down, ashamed. But I wasn't thinking how I should be thinking.
"Won't that be hard for you?" I asked.
I was worried about him. This was turmoil for him as much as it was for me. When I asked this though, his head snapped up and his eyes widened. Edward searched my eyes as if still trying to read my thoughts and then chuckled.
"As usual, you don't do what I'd expect of you. You're worried about me? You're the one who's about to die…"
Edward's eyes got sad with the last part.
I just looked at him, into those topaz eyes. They were lighter than I had ever seen them. He had gotten ready for this moment as had I. And they were scared. I was scared too but looking into my husband's eyes made me realize that he was even more terrified than me. He could never forgive himself if anything happened.
I looked at my angel and touched his face. His eyes closed with the contact.
"Well… I trust you," I smiled at him, "And if I die, I hope that you enjoyed me. I am your singer after all."
His eyes were wide with shock as he cupped my face, holding it fiercely.
"Don't even joke like that, Bella!"
Edward smashed his lips against mine and I could feel myself melting like always. This kiss was so unguarded and passionate. Not like earlier times, where I could tell that every movement was controlled.
He pulled away and I looked into his eyes again, a goofy smile on my face.
"Well that's not very good reinforcement. Good thing we can't have kids because you've got the punishment and rewards part mixed up bad."
He chuckled once again at this and I could tell that the tension in his face was fading finally. However, it seemed to be replaced by another emotion that I couldn't quite read. He was looking away, his expression still unreadable.
"You don't have to do this…"
I rolled my eyes as he went into this again. It seemed as though we would never get to the main event.
"Edward." I said sternly, forcing him to look at me again.
But when he looked at me, I saw such sadness.
"I'm so selfish. I'm taking so much away from you. Esme and Rosalie regret it, you may too…"
I was dumbfounded and utterly confused.
"What?" Was all I could get out with my befuddlement.
"Children. And not just that, but so many other things. I really wish you could understand Bella, how beautiful life is." His eyebrows were furrowed and he seemed almost angry.
Here we go again.
"Edward," I started, "My life is with you. This is what I want. You keep thinking that I'll regret things that I don't care for. Just because they're things that you think I should want to have doesn't mean they are. I'm not going to give up true happiness when I've found it and that happiness can only come from being with you."
My tone had finality in it and Edward knew it. His face shifted from determined to gentle and loving as I said this. His eyes were soft when I finished my last sentence.
"Now, I kept my part of the bargain, you have to keep yours…" I glared at him and then looked down at my ring.
He stared at me for a few seconds before looking away.
Slowly, he then pulled forward to let his cheek rest against the nave between my breasts. Edward listened to my heartbeat and marveled in the heat of my skin. Closing his eyes, he laid there for a good five minutes, leaving me to writhe in contemplation. Perhaps he wasn't going to change me and I'd have to go to Carlisle…
That's when I could feel his light touch as he trailed kisses up my collarbone, back to my throat. Edward continued to shower kisses all over my neck before finally reaching my left artery. His lips stopped as he blew air onto it, letting his lips touch my throat so lightly I could mistake it for a butterfly's wings.
I froze up as I could feel his finality. He began to caress his lips against my hot skin in a way that I knew that this was it.
He was going to change me.
I began breathing harder than I liked as I began to feel Edward's tongue in between the sensual caresses of his lips. His cold tongue was circling and pressing hard against my skin, yearning for a taste subconsciously.
My breathing grew even harder as I felt him open his mouth slowly, letting the tip of his teeth graze my skin lightly. Though it didn't break the barrier, I could feel how sharp they were against my throat. I involuntarily shivered when I felt that his mouth had opened all the way. His tongue was lightly placed on my artery, ready to taste me.
He paused for a moment, stiffening with intense tension. I could feel his hand slide up my arm and my shoulder to gently hold the other side of my neck, readying himself for the next step. Edward breathed cold air onto me again and I closed my eyes, embracing myself.
Then, he finally did it. Edward bit down and I gasped involuntarily at the pain. His teeth broke through my throat like butter and I could feel a familiar warm fluid beginning to flow from the wound.
This was it and it had hurt so much more than I had imagined. But I needed to enjoy this before the real pain set in and the fire engulfed me.
I needed to focus on something other than the pain.
I began to concentrate on Edward as he drank me, his lips still caressing my throat gently. His motions were so controlled and his tension was unmistakable. But even with this, his subconscious enjoyment was undeniable though hidden. He was embracing the taste of his singer, whether he liked it or not.
His hand caressed me gently as it held me close to his lips. I could feel so much yearning being held back as his tongue massaged my wound sensually, tasting me longingly. Edward's touch would have reduced me to a puddle if only the pain wasn't so strong. Continuing to concentrate, I felt him sucking my bite gently, keeping the venom from entering my veins.
I concluded that my wound must be nothing compared to a real bite from a vampire. It seemed like Edward was trying to make this feel better than any hicky I could receive. This was not very monster-like, this was almost erotic.
He continued to drink and finally the pain left me making Edward's lips feel only like a dream. I laid into him and enjoyed his kiss as everything began to grow fuzzy. I had lost a lot of blood and could feel very little pain. Though my mind wanted to panic, I stayed calm, trusting my husband.
It wasn't until I was looking into Edward's face that I realized that he had pulled away from my throat. Even with blood trickling down from the corners of his mouth he looked beautiful. I only wished that he didn't look so sad.
"And now, I give you my immortal kiss…" He whispered this so quietly that I thought I had imagined it.
Everything felt distant as he gently placed his lips on mine. I could feel them melding with mine and caressing me gently. With this, his arms wrapped around me holding me tight.
Edward's lips had been massaging mine so passionately and lovingly that I didn't even realize him bite down lightly. He bit down enough for it to break the skin letting a small drabble of blood leak and fall down my chin. He held the kiss for a couple seconds more before pulling away to look at me.
If Edward could cry, he would have been. He watched me waiting for the pain to set in.
And then the fire came.
It tingled in my lips and then began to spread. I could feel tears spilling from my eyes and I let Edward embrace me. He held me tight, hoping that his touch would bring me protection.
And it did.
I would make it through this as long as Edward was there with me. I even managed to crack a smile through the pain and tears as the fire spread everywhere. But once I managed this, I couldn't help but scream through the heaving sobs in my chest.
And he held me so tight.
A/N: You like? Dislike? Please review! Constructive criticism is welcome! I wrote this though because I'm just tired of there being no fics out there that go into detail about her change. Edward is a VAMPIRE and that's part of what makes him hot. The bite should be one of the best parts and yet no one writes about it.
I also was thinking of writing more because obviously, Edward broke the treaty. But, eh. Depends if people like it. It was originally supposed to be a one-shot.