Heyo! This is our slash-fic. Poynter/Jones. Don't read if you don't like it. It's a bit...errm...strange. Don't take offence to anything/everything written. Reviews are wonderful!
(Dougie's POV)
It could never last. No matter how much he liked it, I was sure he could overcome it. Like, this one time on Will and Grace, Jack said, "If you live with one, you're going to catch it!" But I think he meant the other way around…
But I'm sure of it! All his little acts of love. He kisses my cheek on stage when we play my song, he tackles me to the ground, and he makes fun of my box that says, "DOUGIE'S PORN DON'T TOUCH." If that isn't love, what is?
(Bird's POV)
So we live outside this house of this famous band. It gets pretty weird. The tiny one with a schizophrenic hairstyle always locks himself out of the house naked. Once, this massive bloke with caterpillars on his eyes came to visit, so we attacked to get the caterpillars, having been hungry, but he got all angry and we couldn't pull the damn things off his face! Stupid caterpillars attached to the face…
We have reason to believe they're garbage men, because we often see the little one running around with big black sacks. And lizards... We're concocting an evil plan to eat those lizards one day. Mmm… Reptiles…
(Danny's POV)
So we were doing an interview today. It was not particularly interesting, because all interviewers like to ask the same lame-ass questions. Lucky for us, this guy's super homophobic, which means of course we have to all act like we're completely gay. It's pact we made when we started the band. Today, I will be with...um…Dougie! Yes! Dougie! Excellent!
We got to the interview and sat down. I smiled the "you ready?" smile at Dougie, and he nodded, blushing a little. Dougie blushes a lot, so I'm used to it. I wonder if the other guys notice. Come to think of it, I don't think they've ever mentioned it. Come to think of it, I don't think they have seen him blush. Come to think of it, I don't think he's ever blushed anywhere around them. Come to think of it, I don't think he blushes in front of anyone but me.
Ok, I'm done with the thinking. It makes my head hurt. I really ought to stop thinking for the rest of forever. I mean, seriously. All it does is give me headaches.
Moving on, we got to the interview shook the guys hand and sat down on the couch. I sad right next to Dougie and rested my hand on the top of his upper thigh, rubbing it gently.
"You giving him a massage before the show?" the interviewer guy asked.
"No," I answered immediately. Then I realized how that made me sound like I was hiding something, so I added, "It's just that Doug and I have unfinished business."
Dougie stared at me for a second, but then caught on and made his Dougie face. "Yeah. You interrupted us in the middle of very important stuff."
The interviewer guy made a face and then pressed his lips together. He was obviously waiting for a cue from the people backstage. Then, he spoke almost robotically.
"So, Tom, you're new single, 'First Night' is out next Friday. Tell us about it."
"Well, actually," Tom sighed, saying this for the millionth time today. "Dougie and Danny wrote the song. I just wrote the middle bit and part of the chorus."
"What?"
"See, what happened was that Dan and I were taking a break," Dougie began. I waggled my eyebrows at him and rubbed his leg some more. "And he was like, 'Doug, let's write a song,' and I was like 'whatever you say mate.' So we wrote these two verses and they were absolute rubbish, so we decided to get naked and—"
"You decided to get naked?'
"Yeah," I filled in. "Of course we did."
"Why?"
"We write songs best naked," Dougie exclaimed.
"We'll finish this discussion after break, guys. People, for more of the scoop on McFly's naked songwriting, stay tuned."
(Dougie's POV)
He wants me. He SO wants me. Did you see how he was rubbing my leg? Everybody knows the rubbing a guy's leg is like guy code for "I want your dick." EVERYBODY knows that. Jeez.
(Danny's POV)
Ha! This is totally making the berk flip out. Everybody knows if you rub a girl's leg, it means I want you really bad. I think it works the other way around…
Best idea for a song! You accidentally fall into a fairy tale and fall in love with Cinderella, who you steal from the prince! Whoa, that was random.
Anyway, the interview is back on, and we're still freaking out the dude.
"So, this one time, Harry and I walked in on Danny and Dougie-" said Tom.
"What were they doing?" asked the guy.
"Running the hoover," said Harry, rolling his eyes. Ha! Good thing he's the best actor in McFly!
"If that's what you like to call it nowadays," said Dougie, who then put his hand on my thigh. Genius!
"Okay, um, I think we're out of time. Thanks very much, McFly," said the bloke, completely flustered.
(Dougie's POV)
Ah! That was brilliant. Danny's thigh is so warm… He will be my Danny and he will be named Danny and my Danny!
Next step of my brilliant plan, brain: I shall make him realize that girls suck! Too damn hormonal. It's not hard to convince someone of that.
(Bird's POV)
The little one is playing with lizards again. We believe him to be very odd…
The caterpillar man is back again! After a quick consult, we attacked him.
"Why do fucking birds always attack my face in the fucking neighborhood?" he yelled.
"No fucking profanity!" yelled the member of the band with the large hair.
(Tom's POV)
I really think we have a bird problem. They always attack Charlie when he's around. His eyebrows are humongous, though…
Anyway, self, I've noticed that Dougie has stopped pulling fans lately. Odd. He used to like it when girls flashed him, now he finds it a delay.
(Harry's POV)
Poor Dougs. I think a lizard died. Maybe he lost his porn.
(Danny's POV)
Dougie's been weird. Maybe his mind was taken over by a mongoose!
(Bird's POV)
We were discussing the possible forces at work that are keeping the caterpillars on that man's face. Whatever power it is, it MUST be stopped. Wait! The little one with the lizards is speaking to someone invisible. Maybe he knows something of the force at work behind the caterpillar man's face.
"…HAS to like blokes. I mean, sheesh, I'm gay, so he must be. Obviously. Plus, have you seen the way that he looks at me. And those kisses on the cheek. It must be love…"
(Danny's POV)
I was walking home from Charlie's house. He refuses to visit us until we deal with the birds. We'll wait a week, lie to him, and invite him over again. Anyway, I was walking home and I heard Dougie talking to himself, so I decided to listen.
"…must be love…" OOOOOH! Our little ickle Dougiekins has a crush. I wonder who it is! Maybe it's one of those girls we met the other day.
No. Can't be. They flashed him and he didn't even notice. Someone else then…hmm…I will have to ask him.
"DOUGIE!"
(Dougie's POV)
I was interrupted in my sick fantasies about Danny screaming my name by…well…Danny screaming my name. But not in the way I wanted him to be. And not as naked as I'd like him to be. But it's close. Oh…wait…BAD DOUGIE! Don't keep your love waiting.
"Yeah?"
"You were talking to yourself."
I blushed. What if he heard? What if he's not into that? I mean, we ALL know he's into blokes—honestly, it's not all blokes, it's just me that he's into, but whatever—but, you know…some of that stuff that I like…SHUT UP I AM NOT A PERV!!
"Oh…what did I say?"
Danny thought for a moment. "Something about love. So who's the lucky chick?"
Chick? Please, I am SO over chicks. They're just…not Danny. I mean, Danny's kinda girly looking for a dude, but still…DANNY BEATS ALL CHICKS!!
"Oh…just…someone…not telling…"
Danny looked all sad. Aww…I'm sorry. Can I kiss it and make it all better? And since there is no particular spot that I hurt, I'll just have to kiss all of you. Sounds like fun!
"Aw, Dougie, you're no fun!"
I smiled at him. He SO wants me. See what I mean? "Don't worry. They won't replace you in my heart." Since they are you!
Danny made the "I'm going to pretend to be fake hurt by what you said when actually I'm just sad because you haven't jumped me yet" face. "They were going to replace me?"
"There's no competition." I mean seriously, what kind of lame competition has only one competitor? God, Danny's stupid. Why do I love him again…
Oh yeah, he's sexy.
"Well, I'll tell you who I like if you tell me who you like."
But I don't need to know. Because it's me. But I will listen anyway, just to humor him. And he'll be all like, 'it's you', and we'll end up together just like in that creepy-stalker-ish story that my sister's friend's friend wrote. Don't ask me how I know what happens…
NO I DID NOT READ IT!
…
Well…maybe I read some of it.
…
Well, maybe I read a bit more than some.
…
Well, maybe I read most of it.
…
Well, ok…almost all, but not the ending…
…
Ok, so MAYBE the ending hasn't come out yet, and that MIGHT be why I haven't read it, but at least I'm not pathetic enough to have read all of it…yet…