AN: Just a little song-fic based on Alex Parks' 'Cry,' I heard it on the radio and the lyrics inspired me to write this. Please review, since they encourage me to write more stuff.
Shalimar was sat on the floor outside Emma's bedroom, hoping that Emma would open up and let her in. She knew that she'd really hurt her younger red haired lover and was deeply sorry for causing her so much pain.
Never thought you knew me
Before Emma had come into her life it had been a miserable road of self-destruction including all-nighters of drinking and reckless sexual encounters with people she hardly knew, fuelled by the alcohol and her feline DNA. Then Emma had come along and had made her days somewhat brighter.
Never thought of you with me
Shalimar would spend her free time watching the young psionic meditating or practicing her breathing exercises, simple little things that made Shalimar go weak at the knees. Shal knew Emma loved her...as a friend, as a surrogate sister but not how Shal loved her. Shal wanted Emma, wanted her completely, mind, body and soul.
Always fighting in the dark before
Endless nights of insomnia, pain and tears. Hot, salty tears that coursed down her face like torrential rains storming into a calm river. Wanting to run to Emma, tell her how she felt and let her hold her tight.
Never got to
tell you
I don't know what I mean to you
no need to
explain
anymore
"Em, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," Shal's attempts to try and explain fall on deaf ears.
"Just go, I don't want you near me. Just go!" Is shouted by her love, her life. Her Emma who can't even bear to be near her.
But I'd cry
I
would die if I lost you
and I'd cry
Never-ending tears, that fall quietly in the shadows of the night. Tears that no one else can see fall from the strong feral's eyes. Tears of weakness, that express the emotional pain.
When I think about
us
it's only me that comes between us
Shalimar drives home alone after another reckless encounter, one that was automatically regretted. Infidelity, a word that Shal thought would never occur between her and Emma. Never did she ever think she would cheat on her Emma, not when it took her so long to finally to get her.
It's only me
that
closes the door
Shal remembers Emma slamming the bedroom door in her face, locking her out in the hallway. Another door closing in her life. Another door closing because of her actions. Shal can blame no one but herself.
And
you know you held me up
held me to the sun
when I was yours
With Emma by her side she felt invincible, she felt truly happy for the first time in her life. It was Emma who showed her what it was to be loved, those post-coital moments where Emma would just hold her in her arms and whisper words of love into her ear until she fell asleep.
And I know I let you
down
let you down
the day that I was gone
Emptiness settles inside of Shalimar, emptiness at the realization that she's lost Emma. What if's fill her mind, as she relives her moment of weakness, her moment of feral lust. What if she had decided to stay at home with Emma watching her work tediously on her laptop, instead of going to her regular haunt and getting off with the first pretty girl to make a move on her?
But I'd cry
I
would die if I lost you
and I'd cry
Finally after what seems like an eternity, Emma opens the door, as Shalimar jumps quickly and smoothly to her feet. Waiting for Emma to make her move, the ball is in her court after all.
Emma moves slowly towards Shal, each step elaborated until she is mere inches from her. Her hand reaching out to brush the tears away from Shal's stunning features, the endless tears that are falling from mocha eyes.
"Shal, you haven't lost me. You never will," Emma's statement signals Shal's forgiveness, causing the tears to fall even harder.