The Journey
By Carly Pena
December 18 1990
"Lorraine, I can't take this anymore! I want out of this! I was stupid to get married at nineteen years old!" Felix yelled at his wife while throwing all his belongings into a suitcase.
"What are you saying? You want to abandon your family? Did you ever think about Lacy? She's just six years old. You are such a selfish bastard!" Lorraine yelled back at her husband as she started to throw his clothes out of the closet.
Little feet stand motionless at the end of the hallway. Tiny Lacy stood, tears running down her face, as she realized what was going on. Why is daddy leaving us? Does he not love me and mommy? It's all my fault. I've been a bad girl and now daddy is leaving me and mommy. I should have never spilled my chocolate milk on the new carpet today. Lacy thought as tears flowed like a tsunami down her little face.
Present Day
"Don't forget you're final term papers are due tomorrow at midnight." Professor Miggins says as the class comes to a close. Lacy snaps back to reality as she gathers her books. She thought about that last memory she has of her father. She knows him leaving was not her fault. She walks away from campus and heads to the bus stop. She wishes she had a car. Taking the bus sucks, but she is determined to finish college. She wants to be the first person in her family to graduate college. The determination that she has gained over the years helps her to keep going. She gets on the bus and sits in the very front. She puts her headphones in and stares out the window.
Lacy wakes up to a loud crash. She walks out and finds her mom passed out on the recliner. Lacy takes the bottle of whiskey and puts it on the kitchen counter. She grabs the blanket from the couch and covers her mom so she doesn't get cold. "Lacy go to bed. You are twelve years old not twenty. It's 2:00AM young lady!" Lorraine yells as she drifts back to sleep
The bus turns onto 34th street and Lacy gets off. She walks two blocks and finally reaches her apartment. She has enough time to grab something to eat and get changed for work. Being a full time student and working full time is hard but Lacy does what she has to do. She makes a grilled cheese and sits down at her kitchen table. She eats her lunch, changes for work, and then is out the door for work.
"There's my favorite waitress." Dakota, Lacy's best friend says as Lacy walks into the diner. Lacy clocks in then walks over to Dakota. Dakota and Lacy have been best friends for almost five years. Dakota is the one man who has not let Lacy down. She trusts him with her life.
"Hey Dakota. Shouldn't you be at work? It's almost six o'clock." Lacy says as she gets him a cup of coffee.
"Yeah, but when you own your own business you can technically come in whenever you want to." Dakota replies as he adds sugar and creamer to his coffee. Dakota thinks Lacy is one of the most beautiful women in the world. I'm going to ask her again. Maybe she will say yes this time. Dakota thought to himself as he watches Lacy. "Lacy do you want to grab dinner with my at Mariah's Italian Restaurant. I know it's your favorite place to eat." Dakota says hoping Lacy will say yes.
"Dakota, I would but this week and next week are finals. Plus you know I am not dating right now. I'm not trying to be mean but we've talked about this." Lacy replies wishing he would not have gone there. Lacy thinks Dakota is a great guy but she does not want to ruin their friendship by dating.
"I understand. Well hey I have to get to work. I don't want them burning down the shop. Plus I have a ton of paperwork to do tonight. Need a ride when you get off work tonight?" Dakota offers as he gets up and pays for his coffee.
"No I'm good. I'll take the subway. I will probably work a double tonight anyway. I really need the money. Rent is due next week." Lacy replies as she cleans up Dakota's spot where he was drinking coffee.
"Okay see ya later." Dakota replies as she walks out of the diner.
The night passes by very quickly. Lacy pulls a double. When 5:00AM rolls around Lacy is relieved to get off work and go home so she can get home. Lacy gives the check to her last customer. "Hello beautiful lady. Why is a beautiful lady like you doing working so late?" The man asks as he takes the check from Lacy.
"Sir I have to go. Please pay your check to the cashier. Have a nice night." Lacy replies. As Lacy walks away she can feel his eyes on her. What a creep. Lacy thinks to herself as she clocks out from work. She grabs her coat and heads for the subway. As Lacy is walking down the block she puts her headphones in her ears and starts to listen to music. Walking home at night gives her time to think. Out of nowhere she is struck aggressively in the head.
The smell of garbage and feces fills Lacy's nose. The sound of a television from an apartment fills her ears. She can't see straight and is groggy. She realizes her face is pushed into the hard cement and she feels him. He is on top of her. He is inside her. His hands on her hips and she immediately tries to get out from under him. His hands move from her hips to the back of her neck and he squeezes. She tries to fight him off but it's no use because he is too strong. His grip gets tighter and she can't scream. Lacy's world goes black.
"Ma'am, are you okay? Ma'am can you hear me? I'm calling an ambulance just stay with me." The Good Samaritan says to Lacy as she lays motionless on the cement.
"Please don't hurt me. Please." Lacy whispers not fully understanding what is going on. In minutes the ambulance arrives and Lacy is put on a stretcher.
"What happened to her?" The paramedic asks the Good Samaritan as the paramedic lifts Lacy into the ambulance.
"I don't know I just found her here. All she said was 'Please don't hurt me.' I called you guys and stayed with her till you got here." The Good Samaritan replies. The ambulance closes the door and heads for the hospital
Lacy wakes up and looks around her. She realizes she is in the hospital. She immediately starts to panic when a nurse walk in. "What's going on? I want to talk to a doctor." Lacy says as she tries to get up and then it hits her. She realizes why she is here. She realizes what happened to her. What the man did to her.
"Ma'am can you tell me your name? Do you know what happened to you? We found you in an alley on 30th Street." The doctor says when he walks in the room. The doctor looks at her and can see the panic in her eyes. "Ma'am you're safe now." The doctor says trying to reassure her.
"I was raped. He attacked me." Lacy replies not looking the doctor in the eyes. The doctor just looks at Lacy. His heart goes out to her. He can see the pain in her eyes. The doctor exited the room and called the police.
Knock Knock. Lacy is curled up in a ball and doesn't say a word. She just wants to disappear and forget what happened to her tonight. "Lacy? Lacy it's Detective Gonzalez. I just want to talk." Detective Gonzalez says through the door.
"Come in." Lacy says feeling as if she doesn't have a choice. Detective Gonzalez enters the room. She looks at Lacy. Lacy is curled up in a ball on the hospital bed. She can't even imagine what this young girl has gone through.
"Hi Lacy. I'm Detective Gonzalez can you tell me what happened to you tonight?" Detective Gonzalez asks as she stood across the room from Lacy. Lacy didn't want to talk about it she just wanted to forget what happened to her.
"I was walking home from work. I walked the same way every night after I get off work. I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head and everything went black. When I woke up, my face was being pushed into the cement. I tried to get out from under him but he was too strong. I tried to scream but he hit me in the back of the head again. The next thing I knew someone was telling me they were calling an ambulance." Lacy replies tears rolling down her face. She can't believe this is happening to her. I should have been smarter than this. I knew the diner was in a bad neighborhood. Why would I be dumb enough to walk home by myself so late? Lacy thinks to herself as she stares at the floor.
"Lacy, the doctor said you have a concussion and will have to stay overnight. Is there someone I can call for you?" Detective Gonzalez asks.
"My mom. Her phone number is 895-2302. We are supposed to meet for coffee in the morning. She's gonna be so mad." Lacy replies as she wipes tears away from her face. She hates crying in front of people. Crying shows weakness. At least that's what her mother told her growing up after her dad left them.
"Lacy this is not your fault. Lacy we need to do a rape kit to collect any evidence the perp may have left behind." Detective Gonzalez replies.
"Okay. Will you stay here with me?" Lacy asks as she tries to stop crying but she can't stop. The tears just keep on coming. Lacy did not want to be alone. She did not think she could take it without seriously going crazy.
"I'll stay with you as long as you need me to." Detective Gonzalez replies.
The nurse comes in with the rape kit and starts the process. "First we have to collect your clothes. Stand on the paper and remove each piece of clothing and put each in one paper bag." The nurse says. Lacy slowly strips down naked. This is so humiliating for Lacy she feels as if the world can see her. "Now I am going to use this light to see if there is any saliva or semen left by the man who attacked you." The nurse says as she turns off the lights and turns on the special flash light. Lacy's neck, lips, thighs, and chest light up. The nurse takes swabs of all of the spots. Then the nurse gave Lacy a hospital gown to put on. "I need you to lay down on the bed and put your feet here." The nurse instructed and Lacy did as she was told. The whole time Detective Gonzalez was by her side. The doctor walked into the room. Not sure what to say, the doctor said nothing. The doctor began the examination of her vagina and pubic hair. As soon as the doctor tried to open her vagina up Lacy closed her legs and tears started to pour down her face like a hurricane.
"I can't do this. I want to go home." Lacy says as she sits up.
"Lacy we have to finish the rape kit. I know this is hard but we have to finish." Detective Gonzalez says trying to comfort Lacy. Lacy just hugs Detective Gonzalez as tight as she can. All she wants to do is die. She doesn't want to be here anymore. Her whole world has fallen apart in one night.
"Okay." Lacy replies and lays back down. As the doctor starts to examine her tears roll down her face. She squeezes Detective Gonzalez's hand and tries to be somewhere else mentally, but it's no use. The exam is finally over. The nurse brings in a pair of hospital scrubs for Lacy to wear. Lacy just wants this nightmare to end.
"Would you want me to give you a ride home Lacy?" Detective Gonzalez asks.
"Yes please. "Lacy replies and then heads to the bathroom to get changed.
Lacy walks into her apartment. She looks around at her apartment. The dishes are piled up. She has a light brown couch and a light brown recliner. It's a small one bedroom apartment but it is all she can afford right now. Her kitchen table has her textbooks scattered over the whole table. She walks to her bathroom and starts the bath water. She sits on the toilet. She feels dirty, ashamed, guilty, and stupid. She knows not to blame herself but she just can't help how she feels. She wants to scream. She needs to scream. She has to scream. She grabs a wash cloth and puts it in her mouth. She screams as loud and hard as she can. Tears flow down her face. She steps into the bathtub and sits down. She stays in the bathtub for 2 hours washing her hair and body multiple times. The water gets cold and she knows she needs to get out and go to bed. She stands up and grabs a towel as she gets out of the bathtub. She dries herself off, puts the towel around her body, and goes to her bedroom. She puts on a pair of gray sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. She decides to lay on her couch. She knows she won't be able to fall asleep yet so she turns on the tv. She turns on The Big Bang Theory.