Becoming Heidi

I have been a vampire longer than I care to remember, longer than the world has been round in fact. Sorry, private joke. I grew up a pampered and adored child, prettier then other little girls, and I lived a very full life. By the time I was considered old, at twenty five, having been married four times and born children to three different men, I was looking forward to a quieter life. I was well sick of men. Men who took me simply for my beauty, not caring for my heart. And, certainly never asking my opinion!

In my lifetime beauty was something to value, it was considered precious and it was highly sought after. I was blessed, I suppose, with a great beauty, intelligence, and a gift it would seem for attracting people to me. My mother often told me that I was blessed by the gods. I don't know about that. If I were so blessed, my life would have ended with me in a soft bed surrounded by fat grandchildren. Yet here I was, a never changing, never ending Vampire. I still had my looks, fortunately, and my quick wit had saved me more then once. Sadly, I had never perfected the art of playing dumb, just not my thing.

I have quite the history. I was born long before Christianity existed, in a time of gods and demi-gods. At my birth my name was Helen. Yes, I am THAT Helen. The face that launched a thousand ships…yada, yada, yada. Truly, it was quite the disaster. Too many men desired me, and in those times it was practice to simply take what you desired. I watched men die for me, and it was not a pretty thing. I have caused wars, death, and I have been hated by many heartbroken wives and mothers for something that was not my fault. I was often forced to lay with a man whom I felt no love for, although I was able to act as though I did. Truly my performances in those days would have won me an Oscar. At the very least, it kept me alive.

The years of war, of battle, of being locked within the castle walls of Troy wore heavily on me. I still do not know how I retained my beauty, certainly I was getting older, and the stress of what I would witness through the window was draining. I watched as they drew in the great Trojan Horse; I even marvelled at it's beauty. It was a masterpiece, beautifully carved and fitted together. Little did the fools at the gates of Troy know of my people's cunning. I heard nothing that night, until the soldiers had all but taken the city. My hand maiden had made me a potion to help me sleep, something I had trouble with in those days.

When I was finally rescued; I was glad to be returned to my home. I loved my true husband, Menelaus. At least I had chosen him. He was everything I desired in a man, tall and powerfully built, all rippling muscles and strength. Oddly enough, he was also kind, a wonderful lover, and one of the few men who actually enjoyed my mind as much as my body. Paris, bless his heart, was a dalliance, a foolish mistake on my part…one that cost me many years with Menelaus, and his trust. I believe it was more pride that drove him to seek my return, and a desire to see Paris punished.

So many years of war, so many lives lost. We were happy together when we were at last reunited, and I was thrilled to return to Sparta. It wasn't the same, but at least I had my freedom. I thought I would finally get my wish and be able to grow old with my love. I hoped to mend the damage I had done and regain his heart. It was not to be. I was spotted by a vampire a few days before we were due to leave on a trip, and that night he stole into my home and whisked me away into the darkness. I awoke to see him watching me. I thought he was of the gods, he was so beautiful. I still felt great fear though, the gods of my time were not known for their gentleness or kindness. When he bit me, the pain was beyond anything I had ever felt, even birthing my children. He placed his icy hand over my mouth to muffle my screams and sat holding me as I burned, telling me what I was becoming and how I would be his mate. My only conscious thought throughout my suffering was "No!"

If what he said was true, and I was going to be one of the immortals, I would choose who I would spend my immortality with. I was well sick of men telling me, forcing me, to be with them. I was sick of acting as though I was in love to spare my own life. My years at Paris's side had taught me a lot, and I bided my time. When the fire left all but my throat, I arose, stronger then even Achilles had ever been, and I felt the strength flow though me. The vampire, I never learnt his name, seemed awed by me and somewhat cautious. He gave himself away when he winced a little as I took his hand. It was in that moment, I knew I was stronger then he, and years of watching vicious battle from my tower window took over. Within seconds, I had torn him asunder, and gleefully lit his pieces on fire. He'd been a fool to believe me stupid, and to tell me that fire was bad for us. As I wrinkled my nose at the cloying purple smoke, I contemplated my fate.

The world was a whole new place, I could see so much more, hear more, and the smells…oh they were amazing. Humans truly do not know what they are missing. I knew a few things of my new life, like I desired blood, and lots of it, I was strong and fast, and I was beautiful. Hunting would be easy; I could feast if I wanted to. There wasn't much that could stop me. Perhaps not even the god's themselves.

I knew fire was a bad thing, and I worked out new born vampires were far stronger than older ones. I wasn't sure how long that would last for, so I took off, running as fast as I could through the night. I wanted as much distance as I could put between myself and my old home. I was still able to remember my human love, and I did not wish to kill my own family in a haze of blood lust. The run was exhilarating, but the cold wind in my face did little to ease the terrible burn in my throat.

As dawn broke, I happened upon a field of labourers. Without a thought, I killed and drained them. Then, I quickly burned and buried their bodies so deep I do believe they would never found. Full and only slightly disgusted with myself, I took to running again. I spared a thought for their families, who I had probably just sentenced to death as easily as if I had drained them too. I reached the ocean and thanks to not needing to breathe, simply kept running. I was heavy enough that I did not float up, and when my flowing robes bothered me I simply took them off. I swam naked though the dark oceans, having the occasional meal of shark. I wouldn't recommend that by the way, carnivores they may be but they taste terrible.

I was grateful to reach shore. The salt water sat heavy in my long hair. I stole through a sea side town seeking out the nicest abode, where I found myself a meal. That poor family...thankfully no one awoke. I had a brief qualm or two about the children. The girl especially looked like my own daughter. However blood-lust takes care of guilt pretty quickly, and they were dead and drained before I could really think about it. Once fed, I took a bath availing myself of the perfumes and soaps the lady of the house had. Then, I dressed myself in stolen finery, set the house on fire, and continued on my way.

This was my life for many a year. I was smart and careful, only ever eating when I truly needed to, and I always chose a lovely home with many luxuries, fat owners, and servants for afters. I liked nice things, and in my vampire state I saw myself as one of the gods. I would do as I pleased. I learned to avoid the sun, even though I loved how it made me sparkle, to dress well but not ostentatiously, and that my beauty brought me far more pleasure then pain in this new life. I met a few vampires, avoided the occasional fight with a jealous female, and destroyed one or two over-zealous would-be suitors.

I also made a few friends. We'd pass one another from time to time and caught up on the happenings of the vampire world. The older ones taught me a lot, and I in turn, would try to teach younger vampires. Some didn't listen well, and I made sure to be out of the area before they could call down a disaster. It was from my like minded nomadic friends that I learnt of werewolves, powerful shamans, and other things to avoid.

I moved continuously, crossing oceans and mountains with ease whenever they bared my way and explored the world at my leisure. I discovered that people were everywhere, the world was not flat, and I often visited places far before any other 'white' person did. In these places, I was deemed a demon, and once or twice I killed a party of warriors bent on killing me. I did not laugh at their attempts, nor mock them. I honoured their deaths as warriors and would try not to damage their bodies. You see, in my dead heart I was still the wife of a Spartan, and I believed every warrior deserved his honour. So, I would quickly snap their necks and then gently drain a couple before fleeing the area. I did not want to leave whole villages without men to protect them.

Decades past, then a century or more.

I passed the time feeding, exploring, learning, and observing. I was awed by the advances of man kind. For such a limited race, they really did alright for themselves. I adapted and took an interest in learning anything new. Being a vampire made learning extra easy, and I soaked up knowledge like a sponge.

I stayed away from places of conflict, merely listening to the stories travellers told around their fires before they slept. I learned to control my blood-lust and kill only those I needed to. I also learned to eat wild life if I had too, but I certainly did not like it at all.

I had been a vampire for some time when one of my few vampire friends told me of the Volturi. It was interesting to think of a group of immortals like myself who were making sure our existence was not exposed. I was never quite clear why we were so secretive. I guess it was simply easier then being feared. And, given what I had seen and experienced of newborns, if someone did not keep an eye on things, we wouldn't have many humans left to eat. Still, I wasn't too interested in the Italians. I kept a low profile so it wasn't an issue. Indeed I was rather vain; I believed my own existence to be of the utmost importance.

The 'Plague of the Immortal Children' was a terrible time. I saw one or two. They were lovely, and I desired one badly, but I also saw the folly of their creation. An all powerful three year old? No Thank You! My own experiences as a mother told me how badly that could turn out!

It was then I saw the Volturi in action for the first time. They were fast and powerful and moved through the area I was visiting like cloaked Angels of Judgement. They were God-Like. I was awed and stole closer to get a better look. This is how I met Felix for the first time, and for the first time took a vampire lover. Oh we had such fun! We may or may not have caused a rather large rock slide. He was magnificent! I think I was attracted to him so strongly because he was so like the Spartan soldiers of my human life. All powerful muscle and wonderful strength. Was he my mate you ask? Sadly, no. I don't believe Felix will ever find a true mate; his love is the battle, to fight.

However, whenever we crossed paths over the next decade or so we would have wonderful sex. Unfortunately, I did not know of Aro's gift, and therefore, I did not know that Aro knew of me either. I was unprepared when he decided to send Felix and Demetri to "acquire" me. It took them some time though; they had to return to the Volturi two or three times to deal with problems deep in the south of the place the humans called America. I had only been there a couple of times. Some of their Indians were scary powerful with the deep magic. One of the few things I had learned to respect was the deep magic within this world. I carefully avoided all places were I had heard werewolves lived and was sub-consciously grateful that they seemed to be disappearing quite rapidly. I was lucky to never run into one, but I had lost a dear friend to a small pack of them in the north. Her mate had gone to avenge her; I never heard from him after that.

So, it took nearly half a century before Felix and his coven brother Demetri found me. I was residing in London at the time, playing the part of a high class Lady during the day, supping on silly rich English men at night. I glimpsed them in passing one night and knew something was up. So, when I found them in my bedroom later that night I was not surprised.

"Hello Beautiful," Felix greeted me, even bowing a little and making me laugh. Briefly, I entertained the thought he was there for what you call a 'booty call' now. It was Demetri's presence that made me doubt that.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" I enquired, watching them both, waiting for the hammer to fall so to speak. My instincts were at war inside me, fight or flight.

"I am sorry about this, but Master Aro wishes to meet with you," Felix replied, a decidedly guilty expression on his handsome face. I raised an eyebrow at him, indignation welling within me.

"Well, I would not have imagined you to be one to 'kiss and tell' Felix. How very ungentlemanly of you," I said haughtily. Inside, I was mortified. I was an intensely private woman and had experienced much humiliation in my human life. The idea that Felix had been talking about our liaisons was abhorrent to me.

"It isn't like that M'Lady," Demetri spoke for the first time. His voice was rich and silky, sending a little frisson up my spine. "Felix has been a perfect gentleman and has not willingly discussed your relationship with anyone. Master Aro is 'gifted.' He learned of your existence through that gift."

"Oh well, in that case Felix, I apologize for thinking ill of you," I said, feeling miffed. It did not escape my attention that Demetri had carefully avoided explaining how Master Aro's gift worked.

"I am truly sorry about this but you have to come with us, I do not wish to destroy you," Felix said, looking down at his feet.

I smiled to myself. He was feeling guilty. So he should too. I sighed. I could not fight these two, and I was pretty sure Demetri was a tracker. It would explain how they always seemed to pop up. I figured it was luck that had kept me from being tracked down sooner. I glanced about the room before gathering up my few personal effects and packing them securely in a satchel. I could buy more clothes; I had a tidy bank balance these days. Silly Rich English Men. Turning to my heavily muscled escort, I simply nodded my head, and we glided out into the night.

Volterra

The Volturi were unlike anything I had every experienced in my travels about the world. They were refined, cultured, and well, 'classy'. They had food brought in, and Master Aro was an incredibly gracious host. My first meeting with him went as was standard, his hands wrapping about mine in greeting. He looked at me, all knowingly, just for a moment and I realized he knew more about me then anyone in that one look.

Oddly, I was not afraid. It was almost a relief to be known for who I was. I think it was in that moment I decided to stay with the ancient ones. They were even older then I was! How that was possible I did not know. It wasn't by many years, though. So there I was. I'd changed my look and my hairstyle more times than I can remember, but I was still me. I had been Helen, Hazel, Marie, Sarah, Harriet, and Connie. Now, I am Heidi. Changing my name was, well, essential for my sake. With my looks, and age, the jokes are too close to the mark. Only Aro and probably his brothers and their wives know of my full history.

I will confess I chose Heidi because I liked the name. When you're a single immortal, you have to fill your nights somehow. I often spent copious night hours in the great libraries and art galleries of London, France, and Italy. Felix and Demetri were always up for a bit of fun, but I did not want to encourage that too much. Aro would not like a rivalry between the two of them. I can only hope he will find a talented mate for me one day.

The quarters he put me up in were incredible - opulent to say the least and I was enchanted. I had not lived in such splendour since my days as a princess of Sparta. Indeed, I was impressed by all the grandeur. The bed was a little pointless, unless I found a mate...or took Felix to my bed again. Maybe I could bed Demetri...that was an entertaining thought. I smiled. It was not an unappealing thought. Like all my kind, sexual activity was a splendid way to pass the days. I pondered my options briefly, but I realized I would be staying in Italy indefinitely. Certainly, there were definite perks to life within the castle.

I began my service with the Volturi then. It was not long before I found my niche, and I thrived on bringing in the humans to the great throne room. I chose carefully, and I chose well. I knew the preferences of every vampire within the guard in mere days, and made sure I catered to everyone. Afton liked the Asians, so I always threw in a couple of them with each tour group. I tried to avoid bringing in children however, after Master Marcus thoroughly chastised me for it. Indeed, the Volturi were very cultured monsters. My job wasn't hard; there were always quite a lot of tourists from all over the world wandering through our fair city. A true walled city is a wondrous place to visit. It was a shame some never made it home.

The Cullen Conundrum.

During the late 1700's, we had a guest within the castle for some years. Carlisle Cullen. He was beautiful, inside and out. I must admit, I was a little in love with him. I tried to bed him; I must confess, but he was not interested. He was so gracious about it though, and I was not insulted once he explained his heart was waiting for 'the one'. I hoped he would find her.

Once the whole "sex" thing was out of the way, we quickly became good friends. He even attempted to sway me to his way of eating...which was a diet solely of animal blood. Having already tried this, I was simply not interested though watched the Masters try it once...it was very amusing. Even funnier was Felix playing with a giant grizzly bear he had woken from hibernation. Sitting on a branch of a tree to avoid dirtying my clothes, I laughed so hard that my sides would have hurt had I been human. Aro and Marcus gamely tried bear and a couple of other wild carnivores before declaring human blood was far preferable, Caius took barely a sip before spitting it out in disgust and racing off to find a human to 'wash away' the horrid flavor. I think he enjoyed the hunt; animals were a bit harder to catch then humans. Once the whole fiasco was over, I leapt graceful down from my perch and strolled over to the disgruntled looking guard. Only Carlisle seemed mildly amused by the whole thing, though I could tell that the continued loss of life in Volterra would bother him.

Sadly I was right, Carlisle left and we heard along the vampire grapevine he had "changed" a young man in the very early 1900's. Apparently, he was dying from the influenza that was decimating the English people, and his mother had begged Carlisle to save him. She had died before her son, and I guess Carlisle was lonely. Funny, I hadn't thought he swung that way.

As the years passed, we heard a little more about our old friend, his family grew quickly after Edward joined him. A few years later, he brought over a woman who had been left for dead, and we were soon after invited to their wedding. Unfortunately, the elders decided not to attend but sent a rather grand gift instead. I was disappointed. The woman of the Denali Clan raved about how handsome Edward was, and I wanted to meet him rather badly. Tanya and I had a mild rivalry going, and it delighted me to think I might sway Edward when she had failed. Original succubus my pretty vampire behind!

Not long after that, we heard he had changed another woman, one who had been left for dead by some men in Rochester. I felt for her, she was as used as I was. I hoped she'd gotten a happy ending. Within three years she did, the Cullen's added another male. Caius began making noises that the family was becoming too big, but Aro would simply respond, "It is Carlisle, Caius, he has better control then anyone alive, he can take care of things."

Marcus never got involved in these debates; he was so apathetic these days, only looking up when I entered the room with their meals.

Time passed and we heard that the Cullen coven had grown by two more, nomads who joined their lifestyle. This baffled me when I contemplated giving up human blood. This time Caius really did make a lot of fuss, and Aro rang Carlisle to talk, hoping to appease him. He was positively beaming after talking to Carlisle and assured Caius that they had nothing to worry about. The Cullen's were sticking to their non human diet and moving on regularly, keeping the secret. Caius grumbled. He wanted an excuse to get into a fight. He missed the days of the southern wars and defeating rival covens. Such a War Lord.

I wondered at his human life. I had heard rumours that he had run with the Huns. Certainly, he revelled in killing the Romanians and led the army responsible for wiping out the werewolves. He'd even dabbled in the human wars whenever he had had the chance. There are stories that Vlad the Impaler mirrored himself on our Caius. Indeed, he was the sickest of the triad. Sometimes, he played with his food...taking a pretty girl to his private suite where he and his wife would lock themselves away for hours. I am glad I did not have to clean up after them. I heard from one of the minor staff that it was pretty gruesome.

Within the guard, I had few friends. I got along well with Renata, but she was usually busy with Aro. Chelsea, well, I liked her but I didn't know if it is real. Jane was plain scary, and Alec was creepy. The wives didn't really mingle so I spent much of my time laughing and chatting with Felix and Demetri, while trying to avoid Afton. He was un-mated, but I had no attraction to him. Unfortunately, he wanted me and it was becoming uncomfortable. I needed to speak to Aro about it.

During New Moon

Well,I finally got a look at Edward Cullen. O.M.G. As people said these days. He really was gorgeous. And crazy, apparently. Who would fall in love with a human and not change them? Especially when they want to be changed? Humans were breakable, fragile, and they were food for goodness sake. She did smell lovely though, from the whiff I got as they scurried out. I'd have 'collected' her if we had crossed paths while I was fishing. She was gifted too, Master Aro was quite perturbed by her silent mind, and Jane was still sulking because she couldn't hurt her.

The memory of Jane rendered useless was pretty funny. Though, it did not bode well for Bella, the human. Jane did not like to be thwarted. So petulant! Thank goodness Alec kept her from being completely vicious. Edward had better change his little 'pet' quick if he wanted to keep her. Aro was interested, that much was obvious, and I wasn't even in the room during the interview. My master was the consummate collector and I was sure he would "collect" Edward, Alice, and Bella if he could. It didn't hurt they were Carlisle's progeny. Though their diets and life style differed, those two had always remained such firm friends.

Eclipse

OOOH sometimes my masters were most unfair! There was a new born uprising that had to be taken care of, but I had not been allowed to go. The Cullens were neck deep in this too. I think Aro and Caius were hoping they would be weakened. My masters were getting greedy. This did not bode well.

No casualties...nary a one. How on earth did they manage to get out of that one? I am sure there was something going on. I have been around a long time, and no one had ever come out unscathed from an onslaught like that.

Breaking Dawn.

Before The Battle

Somehow, I did not think our journey was about an immortal child and alliance with werewolves. Something in Irina's words seemed off. I knew Master Aro had seen her thoughts, had replayed her memory time and time again, but why on earth would the Cullens ever cross such marked lines?

Carlisle Cullen knew what a disaster the immortal children where, he'd met a couple of them and saw the heart break they caused in death. Sulpicia wept for near on a year after Aro had to destroy the two they had kept and observed. As for the werewolves, well I got that he respected all life, but ugh... honestly? Why keep company with one, or even treat it as a pet? They smelled revolting! None of this made sense. This was not a good battle to be in. Still, we were the Volturi. The masses must know that we were to be respected. I would stand at my master's side while we discovered the truth.

Hopefully, we might see some action, and I would like to finally see Emmett's wife, Rosalie. Many had told me that in beauty, she was my only rival. Huh, we would see about that! I was Helen of Troy, after all, and the muse behind many a song, sonnet, play, and painting. Even Shakespeare himself had immortalised me. Do you think he could have written Juliet as fair had I not entertained him so sweetly? Really, I was glad I had not killed him. He was an entertaining fellow, as was DaVinci. Actually, DaVinci was brilliant...but in a wonderful, eccentric way that made him a most entertaining companion. Still, he did plead for me to pose, and I am glad I did not. It would be hard to explain why you looked just like a famed portrait. Family history is buy-able, but not if it is an exact likeness. Good thing that the artists of the ancient Greeks were not gifted in exact likenesses, I guess. I was wandering in my musings, I apologize. The trip to the Cullen's home was dull and no one was in the mood to chat.

We'd landed and were travelling across the winter landscapes to Forks. Demetri had a scent and he was following it. I knew it was Carlisle's scent that we were honing in on. Aro was almost giddy with excitement. He was finally going to get what he desired, he was sure of it. I was a little sceptical however. The Cullen Coven were too peace loving to join our ranks willingly.

To Be Continued...