Just a short little ficlet. My other Rent fic, Another Second Chance, is
completely written, I just have to type it up a little at a time. I sort
of missed writing though, not that I have the time. Anyway, this just sort
of came to me last night during a really bad thunderstorm we had here.
It's amazing the things you think of and the ideas you can develop and work
on in your brain during 2 am, 4 am, and 6 am feedings of a one-month-old!
Hence my lack of time and the fact that I can only type ASC in like twenty-
minute intervals. Oh well, enjoy. Collin, that's my son seemed to like
it, but he's the best kind of critic, he goes along with whatever I tell
him! At least at this age, doubtful he'll keep that up forever though!
Thunder, Lightening, The Way You Love Me Is Frightening
BOOM!
The loud crack of thunder woke her up some. As she rolled over, she realized she was alone in bed. She heard him moving around in the dark. "Where are you?" She called out sleepily.
"I'm over here." He answered her as another loud clap of thunder hit, followed almost immediately by a streak of lightening. "The storm woke me up."
"Oh." She yawned. "What time is it?"
He waited for the rolling thunder to finish before he answered her. "I don't know. The power is out."
"Figures." She said, somewhat disgusted.
"Not just here for a change. It looks like the whole block across the street is out too."
"Oh." Another yawn. "What are you doing?"
"Watching the storm. It must be right on top of us the way the thunder and lightening is hitting so quick."
"Okay." She pulled the covers up around her some more. Every time the lightening stuck, it lit up the room, sending an eerie light across his bare chest. It took a second for her eyes to refocus in the darkness of the room after each strike. She could tell he was moving around. "What are you doing now?" She sat up some, pulling the sheets with her.
"I just haven't seen a storm like this in a long time. I thought I'd get some of it on film. It's really pretty amazing. The way it streaks across the sky like that."
She watched him for a few minutes. When the lightening would illuminate the room, and he had pulled the camera away, she could see his face for a second before darkness over took the room again. Truthfully, she didn't need any light to know what expression he had on his face any more. She knew his eyes held that lost, pained look in them.
She let out a small sigh. "You really miss him don't you?"
"Yes." He answered her, never turning away from the window. "Don't you?"
"Of course." She answered, somewhat hurt by the way he asked her that. "Of course I do. You know I do."
"I know." He said softly, still staring out at the storm, whose thunder bangs were slowly getting farther away. "I guess I never thought I'd miss him this much."
"I know."
"I don't think I ever really let myself believe he'd really ever not be here."
"I know." She played with the sheets she had pulled around her, refusing to look up at him as she spoke. "What do you think he would have thought about this? About us?"
"I don't know." He said slowly, shaking his head. "I think it would have really bothered him at first, but if he could understand why, and how, I think he'd be okay with it."
"I hope so." The lightening had died down and the thunder had become a very far off rumble. She pulled the covers back some. "Come back to bed. Please."
He nodding, setting the camera down, even though he knew she couldn't see any of that in the dark. He crawled into bed next to her, swinging an arm around her, feeling her let him pull her close. As her curls tickled his face, he breathed in the smell of her shampoo. It had become a comforting smell.
They laid there like that in the darkness for awhile. She knew he wasn't asleep. She could tell. She could always tell. Finally she asked him the question that had been sitting in here mind for awhile. "If I ask you a something, will you tell me the truth? No matter what it is?"
He waited a moment before answering her, afraid of what the question might be. "Yes."
"Do you love me? Truthfully?"
He sighed and pulled her closer. "Yes and no."
"What does that mean?"
"Yes I love you, but I'm not in love with you." He told her, staaring at the ceiling as he said it. "I'm sorry."
She lay there for a minute thinking about that. "It's okay I guess. I mean I think I already knew that."
"What about me?"
"I love you, but yeah, I'm not in love with you. I think that's why I asked the question."
He ran his hand down her arm. "Is that enough? To love you, but not be in love with you? Because I don't think I could do that. Don't get upset, okay? It's not because of you, I think it's more because of him."
"I know. I understand. It's okay. I think we were what each other needed. I think that makes it okay. Don't worry, I'm not mad."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Okay? Please? What we've got, is a good thing. At least for us, and where we are it's okay. Really." She rolled over and rested her head on his chest. "Let's just go back to sleep. Okay?"
"Okay." He played with a few of her curls. "Goodnight Maureen. I really do love you."
"I know. I love you too Roger."
Thunder, Lightening, The Way You Love Me Is Frightening
BOOM!
The loud crack of thunder woke her up some. As she rolled over, she realized she was alone in bed. She heard him moving around in the dark. "Where are you?" She called out sleepily.
"I'm over here." He answered her as another loud clap of thunder hit, followed almost immediately by a streak of lightening. "The storm woke me up."
"Oh." She yawned. "What time is it?"
He waited for the rolling thunder to finish before he answered her. "I don't know. The power is out."
"Figures." She said, somewhat disgusted.
"Not just here for a change. It looks like the whole block across the street is out too."
"Oh." Another yawn. "What are you doing?"
"Watching the storm. It must be right on top of us the way the thunder and lightening is hitting so quick."
"Okay." She pulled the covers up around her some more. Every time the lightening stuck, it lit up the room, sending an eerie light across his bare chest. It took a second for her eyes to refocus in the darkness of the room after each strike. She could tell he was moving around. "What are you doing now?" She sat up some, pulling the sheets with her.
"I just haven't seen a storm like this in a long time. I thought I'd get some of it on film. It's really pretty amazing. The way it streaks across the sky like that."
She watched him for a few minutes. When the lightening would illuminate the room, and he had pulled the camera away, she could see his face for a second before darkness over took the room again. Truthfully, she didn't need any light to know what expression he had on his face any more. She knew his eyes held that lost, pained look in them.
She let out a small sigh. "You really miss him don't you?"
"Yes." He answered her, never turning away from the window. "Don't you?"
"Of course." She answered, somewhat hurt by the way he asked her that. "Of course I do. You know I do."
"I know." He said softly, still staring out at the storm, whose thunder bangs were slowly getting farther away. "I guess I never thought I'd miss him this much."
"I know."
"I don't think I ever really let myself believe he'd really ever not be here."
"I know." She played with the sheets she had pulled around her, refusing to look up at him as she spoke. "What do you think he would have thought about this? About us?"
"I don't know." He said slowly, shaking his head. "I think it would have really bothered him at first, but if he could understand why, and how, I think he'd be okay with it."
"I hope so." The lightening had died down and the thunder had become a very far off rumble. She pulled the covers back some. "Come back to bed. Please."
He nodding, setting the camera down, even though he knew she couldn't see any of that in the dark. He crawled into bed next to her, swinging an arm around her, feeling her let him pull her close. As her curls tickled his face, he breathed in the smell of her shampoo. It had become a comforting smell.
They laid there like that in the darkness for awhile. She knew he wasn't asleep. She could tell. She could always tell. Finally she asked him the question that had been sitting in here mind for awhile. "If I ask you a something, will you tell me the truth? No matter what it is?"
He waited a moment before answering her, afraid of what the question might be. "Yes."
"Do you love me? Truthfully?"
He sighed and pulled her closer. "Yes and no."
"What does that mean?"
"Yes I love you, but I'm not in love with you." He told her, staaring at the ceiling as he said it. "I'm sorry."
She lay there for a minute thinking about that. "It's okay I guess. I mean I think I already knew that."
"What about me?"
"I love you, but yeah, I'm not in love with you. I think that's why I asked the question."
He ran his hand down her arm. "Is that enough? To love you, but not be in love with you? Because I don't think I could do that. Don't get upset, okay? It's not because of you, I think it's more because of him."
"I know. I understand. It's okay. I think we were what each other needed. I think that makes it okay. Don't worry, I'm not mad."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Okay? Please? What we've got, is a good thing. At least for us, and where we are it's okay. Really." She rolled over and rested her head on his chest. "Let's just go back to sleep. Okay?"
"Okay." He played with a few of her curls. "Goodnight Maureen. I really do love you."
"I know. I love you too Roger."