Turning sixteen yesterday had meant many different things to Jiang Lihua- or, Tianzi as she was more widely known.
It had meant she had finally gotten to see her best friend Kaguya after what had been too long, though their lack of contact was understandable due to the duties and responsibilities both girls now shouldered which were nothing to be sniffed at. When one is the empress of a grand country and the other the leader of a Council, it becomes exceedingly difficult to plan to meet around the calls of their status- which was why Tianzi had been so excited.
It had meant a national holiday for the Chinese Federation, which was only to be expected on the birthday of their leader. This Tianzi was not so sold on this idea as it made her feel as if she were causing her people trouble- but when she had been shown news reports of festivities by her aides and seen the smiles on the faces of her citizens, she had soon shed her melancholic mood and forgot all about it.
It had meant gifts and exotic foods too, though while Tianzi enjoyed these- particularly the desserts- there was one or two things that the empress wished for that could never come in a package or a brightly wrapped box, and on her sixteenth birthday, she had finally received one of them.
Namely, yesterday had also meant that Tianzi- the Empress- had received her first proper kiss, and another promise.
--
The dinner formalities were over as a large and the crowd was slowly dispersing with excuses as, 'It's getting late, Your Highness' and 'Please enjoy the rest of your night, Tianzi-sama- we will attend to the affairs of the state.', which suited Tianzi perfectly. While it had been pleasant to enjoy a meal with her closer friends and confidants, the night was growing older and there were still a few things that she wanted to attend to. Glancing down the table- where she had sat at the head, with Kaguya to her left and Xing-Ke to her right- the now young woman smiled pleasantly and inclined her head to each person that left, the latest two being Xiang-Lin and Hong-Gu whom mentioned something about training tomorrow and needing an early start. However, as the crowd of guests gradually thinned, the two that had sat closest to her remained patiently, talking with each other over the noise created from the leaving parties.
Tianzi herself wasn't paying much attention to Kaguya and Xing-Ke's conversation, not for lack of interest, but because there were a couple of things that were featuring more prominent in her mind and therefore, occupying most of her thought processes. It wasn't until she realized that someone was repeatedly saying her name that she broke out of her trance, a light pink blush spreading across her cheeks as she looked towards the speaker.
Ah- Kaguya--
"Tianzi? Are you alright? You're spacing out a bit."
Rich brown eyes quickly darted down to stare at her hands, neatly arranged in her lap. How embarrassing! "A-Ah! Yes, I'm fine! I was just… thinking."
"Something important?" Kaguya questioned with an eager smile on her face and a mischievous twinkle in her green eyes- something which Tianzi had learnt, over the years, that meant her mind was running amuck. Had the empress been looking at her friend and not intensely studying the imperfections on her fingernails, she would've noticed the sneakiest glance directed at the third member of their party, whom was now sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised in what could only be mild amusement.
"Um, sort of, I think." Tianzi stammered, the blush threatening to spread as she tripped over her words. Even after these years, she still had difficulty with being shy due to her sheltered upbringing, hence the avoidance of eye contact and the red tinge on her cheeks. She hated that sometimes and wished she could just be forward for once- but she was working on it, one step at a time.
After studying the younger girl for a few moments, Kaguya shook her head slightly and beamed at the two with a knowing look on her face. "Never mind. You probably have a lot to think about, don't you?" Punctuating her rhetorical question with a yawn the size of which a lion would've envied, she stretched her arms in the air. "It's getting late—I should probably turn in now if I want to make it on time to that meeting tomorrow morning."
"A-Alright. Will I get to see you tomorrow?" Tianzi asked in a smaller voice, daring to look up from under her silver fringe at her friend with newfound courage. After all, it wasn't often that Kaguya was in China, and even if there were a couple of things that the empress wanted to do sooner rather than later, she still wanted to spend as much time with the other as possible before she had to return to Japan. Sneaking what she thought was a subtle peek over to Xing-ke only to find that he was looking straight back at her, Tianzi's eyes quickly returned to home- or, her lap.
"Sure! I'll come and find you after I'm finished the meeting, if you'd like." Kaguya replied cheerfully, slowly excusing herself from her seat and rearranging her formal dress so it sat right once more. "Goodnight Tianzi; Xing-ke!"
And suddenly she was gone, leaving the empress and her guard in what was now a virtually empty hall, save for the kitchen workers whom had come to clean up after the grand dinner. A slightly awkward air set down around them, or at least, around the younger girl, her mind turning over and over what she could possibly say as a means to an end.
Come on, Tianzi- you can do this! It's now or never, so just go on and ask him—
"Something really is troubling you, isn't it, empress?" Xing-ke ventured gently, breaking Tianzi out of her motivational aside and provoking the blush to appear on her face once more at being caught again. "You know you can talk to me if there's anything you're concerned about."
"Aa, I… I…" Do it! "… Xing-ke. Would you… walk with me a while? That is… if you have nothing pressing to attend to…"
Her voice was so quiet and timid that he almost didn't catch her request- the clatter of plates and china around them was so loud that it was hard to make out and the fact that she was still talking down towards her hands didn't help matters- but when he figured out what she'd said, a smile tugged at his lips and he nodded at the empress, although slightly surprised. "Of course I would." Rising from his seat, he moved over to the empress' chair extended a hand towards her with the intention to help her up. "Where would your highness like to go?"
Venturing a brave look yet again up to Xing-ke's face, Tianzi trembled slightly before shifting her chair back on the floor and finally accepting the hand, trying to ignore the warmth that was emanating from her aide's fingers to her own as she hopped down. Her expression was one of apprehension and seriousness, the perfect opposite to the other's calm and placid one- although, there was a slight tinge of worry behind those eyes, as much as he tried to mask it. When the empress was troubled, he was troubled; that was a given.
"I-I think the gardens would be nice at this time of night," She managed, forcing the smallest hint of a smile to her face as butterflies wrecked havoc in her stomach. Kaguya had mentioned something like this to her a while ago, to which she had admonished her friend- 'butterflies couldn't live in there!'- but now that she considered herself more worldly, she could completely sympathize with the odd turn of phrase. "Don't you?"
Looking thoughtfully out from his dark fringe as he led the empress from the extravagant hall, Xing-ke inclined his head agreeably as they crossed the threshold, the cool night air a welcoming sensation to them both. It had been stifling during the banquet due to all of the guests, so it was nothing less than a relief to escape the heat from inside. "It's certainly warm enough. If you're sure you won't catch cold?"
"I'll be alright!" Tianzi assured him, almost a little too quickly. Biting her lip at her eagerness, her brow furrowed as a quiet chuckle drifted down from her partner. Even if it had been too cold, she would've insisted anyway; after all, now she was a 'woman on a mission', again, a term she had learnt from her primary instructor on the ways of the world.
Tianzi loved Xing-ke. Pure and simple. She knew that, and had known that for a least a year or two now. Not to say that she didn't love the other before, as she'd always felt a special kind of connection with him ever since that fateful day in the royal courtyard, but it had only been recently that she'd realized that it was a love that went beyond the boundaries of a platonic friendship. There had been telltale signs, of course. Even simple actions that had been everyday to her up until now, like Xing-ke holding her hand to help her up or their eccentric routine of brushing each other's hair in the morning (something that had started as a childish game, but had somehow developed into a habit) had changed, and Tianzi could tell. Every time she touched her friend, a scary kind of electricity ran through her- through her fingers, down her body and right to her toes, and the first time it had happened to her it had been thoroughly frightening- at least, until she had figured out what it was.
And how could she not love him? The one person that had always been there for her, fought battles for her, protected her and promised her that he would forever be by her side. There was no-one she held in higher esteem than Xing-ke, and the empress knew that wasn't something that was going to change.
However, her mission tonight was not to reveal this- after all, she had no idea how he felt back to her, did she? There were probably lots of women prettier and more experienced than her that would be dying to court him, and against this imaginary posse, Tianzi felt she didn't stand a chance. The notion that she might also jeopardize the current relationship that they had was also a contributing factor and there was nothing that scared her more than the thought that she might lose him, something that often jolted her awake in the middle of the night with his name upon her lips.
No. This was an issue that was better left secret. However, she did have something to tell him.
She'd been so absorbed in her thoughts and Xing-ke had been so quiet at her side, that she hadn't noticed that they were already moving across the boardwalk that led into the hall's gardens. Trying to focus on the beautiful scenery that surrounded them both instead of the tingling sensation that was still ailing her hand from when she'd been helped to her feet, Tianzi found it was harder than she thought. It was a wonderful night to be outside, as her partner had said before- the breeze was cool but the atmosphere was warm and calming, the cheerful chirp of crickets at the rock ponds on either side of the boardwalk littering the air. The moon was already high up on the sky by now, as they had been the last to leave what had already become a late party, and because of the time there were no others currently in the gardens; something else which suited the empress right down to the ground.
It was only a couple of moments until they reached a bridge which curved over a tiny, trickling stream in the middle of the area, the sound of the running water doing something to calm Tianzi's already slightly shattered nerves. Eyes searching out the moon, she stopped their walk by turning and leaning slightly on the rail of the bridge, the light drifting down from the sky playing upon both her and her companion, making them seem almost ethereal. Absently, she noticed Xing-ke come to a stop beside her, although he chose not lean on the bridge and instead, followed her gaze up towards the sky, now more than a little curious about what was on her mind.
Then, silence passed for a minute or so, the only sounds around them coming from the garden and the rustles of leaves as the breeze toyed with them. It was quite hard to get up the courage to stay anything heartfelt to her friend these days, for some reason- but she'd just come of age, hadn't she? Now that she'd become a woman, she'd have to start acting like one. With that resolve, she looked away from the moon and down to the stream instead, the rushing water an almost hypnotizing sight.
"Xing-ke." She began, hearing the other shift a little next to her, which she could only guess was him turning his head in her direction. "I… wish to thank you."
It was odd hearing someone whose voice was usually so carefree when he was around take on such a serious tone, making Xing-ke wonder briefly if he'd done anything that could've possibly upset Tianzi. Of course, that was the last thing he'd ever want to do, and he knew that she'd be on his mind until they reached the bottom of this matter, whatever it was- not that she wasn't always on his mind, anyway. "I've done nothing that is worthy of your gratitude--"
"That's not true!"
Eyes widening slightly as the empress whirled around, fixing him with a look that was such an odd mixture of emotion that it was impossible to decipher, Xing-ke tried to remember the last time he'd heard Tianzi talk like that. Concern washed over his features and his arm left his side, fingers reaching out to the other—though, they stopped short as she continued.
"All of these years, I don't think I've ever said 'thank you' properly to you for all the things you've done for me!" She managed, her voice still charged with emotion. Her thin, pale hands absently balled into fists at her sides to try and keep herself on the right track- she wanted to do this right, to show that she cared. A quiet breath escaped her lips before she hung her head for a moment and then looked up again, her voice much quieter the second time she spoke. "I know that we promised to each other, but… you've always stayed by me, no matter what. No-one has ever done that for me before, and I—"
"Empress."
Tianzi's already timid voice stopped completely at Xing-ke's interjection, her body trembling slightly at his tone and her words dying on her lips. It wasn't strict or commanding, but there was something hidden within that she didn't recognize for the lack of ever hearing it coming from him before. The man in front of her resumed what he'd been doing and he reached for his companion's balled fists, encasing them with his own lithe hands, apparently ignoring the tiny squeak he received in reply.
"You know that I'd want nothing else but what I'm doing right now- or have you forgotten just how serious that promise was?"
Her mouth was trying to form words to respond, but nothing was coming out- this was getting more difficult than she'd thought it was going to be. That look that he was giving her- that one that was full of concern, care and affection- was making it hard for her to think of anything but him and thus it rendered her speechless. It was at times like these her heart ached like no other, although that feeling made her feel selfish and silly- how could she ask for more from someone that had already given her so much?
"N-No, but I…"
Briefly, one of his hands left hers and gripped her softly by the chin, tilting her head upwards so that she'd have to look him in the eye. Xing-ke had known this moment had been coming for a while now, but it was all he could do to keep himself from gathering the girl in front of him up in his arms. To think that he'd been the cause of her worry was painful, at least to him.
"You never have to 'thank' me for anything, your highness." He told her slowly, his voice kind- too kind. Oh, how cruel the fickle fiend that love was. "You saved my life, and in return, you're all that I live for."
Frowning slightly at his last statement, Tianzi desperately tried to look away from the other, the blush tingeing her cheeks once more becoming more noticeable by the second. "Do you… do you only stay by me because I had your life spared? Because of the obligation?"
The moment the words had left her mouth she immediately felt guilty, because she knew that Xing-ke wasn't that kind of person- but still, the doubt in her mind refused to be quelled with any sort of ease, and the fact that she could be forcing the person she cared most about to do something against their will for her own selfishness was not a comforting thought.
Suddenly, her companion's expression cleared of any hint of a smile and was instead replaced with a serious look, even though she could only see him out of the corner of her eye. She had said the wrong thing, hadn't she?
"Do you honestly believe that?" He murmured, turning Tianzi's chin towards him once more and locking his eyes with the brown ones, full of tears that threatened to spill over. Xing-ke would have none of this nonsense- if his feelings weren't already clear, then this would be of no consequence.
"I-I just— I'm sorry—"
Abruptly cut off by something warm pressing against her lips, it took a couple of seconds to register that Xing-ke had leant forward and was actually kissing her. Frozen in place not by terror but by her mind's inability to comprehend the situation, it was a moment or two before he pulled away and she could string together a thought of any coherence.
What- does this mean that he…?
Most probably triggered by the look of confusion on Tianzi's face, Xing-ke lightly placed his hands on her shoulders- she had grown considerably taller over the years, but he still had to bend a little to reach her properly- and pursed his mouth.
"Shouldn't I have done that?"
But he had little time to reply as thin arms were thrown around his shoulders, the empress catching her beloved in a tight embrace, small frame shaking slightly with… was that laughter?
"That's not it, Xing-ke." She murmured, her voice a little choked by tears though smiling. Quickly, strong hands encircled her own body to support her. "That's… not it."