There are days like today where I sit and remember everything in my life all at once. No matter how hard I don't want to think about it. It always comes back to that.
That little girl for one. But not so little anymore.
You.
I remember the way I grabbed your face in my hands again. Saying that I wanted to be with you forever.
I want to be beside you every night, holding you close, whispering to you that I love you as my family more than anything in the world, that you turned my whole world upside down just when it needed to be turned upside down.
I want to make forever promises to you out loud, in front of God, and I want you to promise to be my family, my friend, my one and only protector.
Funny...
Maybe it's the alcohol that's making me remember the way you moved, talked and walked.
The way you promised to me and I to you that we would have each others back. You my best friend and my conscience. We were supposed to protect each other.
Then I think about what you made you interesting.
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. You hated them but still gave me one despite promising to see me again.
It's funny how good memories can make you cry, like I'm doing because you are gone and my heart is breaking.
It's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past. That terrible thing in your head that made you leave me despite the fact I could protect you.
It's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget. I remember that you made me forget you once and it broke your heart.
It's funny.
I remember you saying. "It's okay Shepard it's okay"
You smiled backing away from me. You had tears in your eyes as you backed away from the glass into the smoke and gunfire on the other side that would surely kill you.
"I know I'm about to die. I'm crazy not insane"
I know that but...Why? Why did you save me from this crap?
Cause you were crazy. If you were insane you would be babbling and drooling, your only risking your life and getting killed.
I see you Echo, I always see you.
I know you stand at the bar in front of me, drinking water. Too young to have alcohol. Funny thing again. Being an adult is hard for everybody. That's what alcohol is for. That's what you told me.
I promised. I'll definitely save you next time kiddo. I can't call you that now 'cause your all grown up, all grown up but gone and dead. No matter how many times I have to repeat all of this, I'll protect you net time.
It's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me. I lost you. I loved you...
"Memories are what warm you up from inside. But they're also what tear you apart." I hear a voice.
"Hey Liara" She sit's down on what should have been your seat.
"Bad memory?" She asks looking at the drink in my hand.
I still see the way you leaned against the glass. "Not how you planned to see me die, huh?"
Not the way at all.
"Don't! Come on we can get you out" I beg.
"You can't. I'm the vaccine, I'm the cure" you respond.
And I am Commander FUCKING Shepard! And I let you die.
"No" I answer Liara simply.
"I will get you out I promise" I bang against the glass.
"Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," You said. "Go for it, while you can. Get out of here, I know you have it in you. There's the exit right there. Right behind you. You're going to lead an exception life Darlin' you hear me? I know okay?"
Did you?
"I get that pain. But you are going to be fine. And I can't promise you'll get everything you want, but I can promise nothing will change if you don't try. Take that exit and go" You all but beg.
Liara left at some point as I wouldn't talk. I end up sitting in a lift outside the bar, waiting to become sober.
I see your ghost crouch down and sit next to me. "Your not dead yet?" You ask.
"I wish" I say.
"Liar!" You tease. This isn't real, I know it. You used to.
"Stay with me?" I look into your eyes.
"Always"
"Really?" I ask.
"I always have and always will"
You were called an Echo you told me.
It's funny. That's why I loved you.
'Cause it's funny.
You were never easy, but you're sure as all hell were never boring...