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Contest entry for Lyrics to Life Contest
Title: We'll Beat This
Pairing: Seth/OC
Rating: T
Word Count: 2896
Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: She gets the call she so desperately feared. Would he stand by her side or walk away? AH
She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don't discriminate or care if you're just thirty eight
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, "I know that you're afraid and I am, too
But you'll never be alone, I promise you"
Seth's POV
The phone rang as my wife, Sarah, was getting out of the shower so I answered it.
"Hello, Clearwater residence," I answered.
"Hi is Mrs. Clearwater there?" a male's voice asked.
"This is her husband, may I ask who's calling?" I asked.
"Of course, I apologize. I'm Dr. Whitlock from Grace Towers Medical Center, it's urgent that I speak with your wife," the doctor insisted.
The tone of Dr. Whitlock's voice worried me, so I immediately headed for the bathroom door.
"Sarah, Dr. Whitlock's on the phone for you," I called as I knocked.
She opened the door, her eyes wide, and grabbed the phone.
"Hi Dr. Whitlock, what were the results?" she asked in a shaky voice. She dropped the phone and burst into tears.
The doctor just confirmed her fears, I thought as she collapsed into my arms.
It took her awhile to speak, but when she did, her words broke my heart.
"I'm just thirty eight. How is this possible?" My wife was in tears. "What am I supposed to tell the kids?"
"Babe, the kids will be fine; don't need to worry them," I replied holding back tears, "We're going to love you through it. You'll make it through this; we can do this together."
Cancer? I thought. First we lost my dad when I was just fifteen, now my wife has… I can't even think of that. No, we won't lose her, isn't gonna happen.
The doctor scheduled her for surgery just a week away. I'm scared but I won't show it, she needs me strong.
Sarah's POV
She made it through the surgery fine,
They said they caught it just in time.
But they had to take more than they planned.
Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her.
But she just wants to feel like a woman again.
"I don't think I can do this anymore," I confessed as my voice cracked.
The doctor had informed me that they caught it just in time but they had to take more than they'd planned which meant they took … my breasts. This is a woman's worst fear besides losing a child. My kids and husband are my life but without my breasts … my womanhood … I don't know how to move forward. I broke down in tears as my husband held me.
"That's what my love is for," he whispered, rubbing circles on my back, "We'll do anything...pray if we have to, but you will make it through this. The kids need you." He paused. "I need you babe."
I hugged him as he wiped my tears.
Seth's POV
*One month after surgery*
The doctor wanted to be sure they got it all, so we went in for more testing. The next day the phone rang.
"Hello," she answered.
She dropped the phone and burst into tears. The doctor just confirmed our fears. They didn't get it all. My heart dropped as she told me, "I don't think I can do this anymore."
"Do you remember what I told you before?" I asked.
"Yes, but this is different. I thought they got it all," she cried, hanging her head in defeat.
"How is this different?" I asked. "You still have … no, we'll fight it again! I meant every word I said babe. We will do anything, ANYTHING to beat this," I said holding back my own tears. "I know you're scared, so am I, but we'll beat this."
The next day we went into meet with Dr. Whitlock. When we arrived at his office, he took us straight back.
"Have a seat," he instructed and then paused before continuing, "Sarah, I know this is hard, but we need to discuss the next step." Dr. Whitlock looked sympathetically at my wife, giving her a moment to compose herself.
When she nodded, giving the doctor a slight smile, he began, "There are a couple of options you have: Chemotherapy and/or more surgery."
I personally wasn't thrilled with the idea of her going under the knife again and she knew it, but I also wasn't looking forward to chemo either. From what we'd read online and in magazines, the chemotherapy would make her very sick and would have even more physical side effects than the surgery had. I honestly didn't know what would be better, but I also knew it wasn't my choice to make.
I looked at my wife as she answered, "I want to try chemo."
"Hold that thought," Dr. Whitlock said, leaning over to grab a pamphlet from a stack that were placed neatly on his desk. "Before you give me your final answer there are some side effects to chemo that you should be aware of." He held out the pamphlet to Sarah, and though she took it, she informed him that we'd already done some research of our own before coming to his office.
"So, then you're aware of how much this treatment will take over and change your life?" he asked.
"Yes and I still want to try chemo. If it will help me without being cut open again, I'd rather go that route," Sarah bravely said.
"Alright then, I'll set you up for chemo. I want you to start it as soon as possible," he informed us.
We talked for a little while longer and he explained the process of chemotherapy in depth. Once we were satisfied, we decided to head home. With all of the changes we were facing, we knew we couldn't keep this from the kids any longer.
"Thanks doc," I said, shaking his hand as we left.
*Later that night*
"Kids come into the family room please," I yelled up the stairs.
"Coming dad," they answered in unison.
As I waited for them to make their appearance, my stomach twisted and turned inside my body. I didn't know how they were going to react to the news, or if they would even understand. They were so young…
A few minutes later, the kids came filing in the family room and I instructed them to take a seat on the couch.
"Your mom has something to tell you. Whatever you feel just please remember she loves you."
Sarah's POV
I took a seat in the recliner opposite the couch that the kids were sitting in and took a deep breath. As much as I knew they needed to know what was going on, I was finding it hard to articulate the words.
I decided it was best to start from the beginning.
"As you know I've been sick for a while now," I started, but then paused to clear my throat. "We have some bad news to tell you. I have cancer." I paused to give them time to process what I'd just said.
Our son and oldest daughter didn't react at all, but our youngest daughter had a confused look on her face as she asked, "What's cancer, mommy?"
Paul, our oldest boy, answered, "It's a disease, Lacey. It means she's gonna die."
Those words penetrated me, slicing like knives all the way to my heart.
Seth started to say something, but I held my hand up to stop him. This was something Paul needed to hear from me.
"Paul, why would you say that?" I moved to kneel in front of him, taking his hands in mine. He wouldn't look at me and I felt my stomach drop. "Honey, answer me. What makes you think I'm going to die? Baby, people survive cancer all the time."
He finally brought his eyes to mine as a tear escaped, making its way down his cheek.
"Embry's mom didn't," he answered, his voice cracking on the last word.
Christine, our middle daughter, let out a strangled sob as she and Lacey both lunged into my arms. Though Paul didn't join them, I pulled him into my arms anyway and peppered them with kisses on their cheeks and hair.
"I'm not going anywhere, do you hear me?" I said, pulling back to look at each of them. "I've already seen the doctor and we have made plans to beat this."
"What kind of plans?" Christine asked as she wiped away her tears.
"Well, your mother is going to be getting a kind of treatment called chemotherapy." Seth came to sit next to us, wrapping his arm around my waist.
The kids were visibly confused, so I went on to explain that chemotherapy was a type of medicine that would be put into my body to help fight off the remaining cancer. Seth and I answered all of their questions as best as we could and we warned them that I would be very sick for a while and that I might even lose my hair. They still didn't completely understand, but there was no way to accomplish that and they knew what they needed to.
After we put them to bed, my tough exterior crumbled. I spent the rest of the night crying in my husband's arms.
Seth's POV
Today was the day my wife was to start her treatment. The kids were staying with my mother and stepfather.
She was worried and I was scared for her. Even though we'd done our research, we still didn't really know what to expect.
I was currently lingering in the lobby waiting for Sarah to be done with her first treatment of chemo, thinking back to the time we first met.
*Flashback*
Sarah caught my eye the moment I saw her.
She had been hanging on Sam's arm being, what I call, a perfect girlfriend. Sam, however, was being his usual jackass self.
Every move she made that he didn't like, she would get in trouble.
I could remember wanting to kick his ass, but I respected her, so I didn't do anything.
I had been keeping a secret eye on her because I've seen this kind of relationship before. It was lunch time and I was in the cafeteria, when Sam and Sarah came in.
Sarah immediately went over to her friends and they began to talk excitedly about the upcoming football game and dance that was to follow the game. It was homecoming and Sarah had been voted into the court.
"I'm hungry," he demanded as he'd pulled her with him. "Let's go." He looked to have a scowl to his harsh features.
"No, I never get to see my friends, so I'm staying to talk to them," she'd said, her stance defiant.
He grabbed her arm roughly and slapped her face. I was over there in a flash as the cafeteria erupted. The sting from Sam's hand hadn't even fully subsided before he was being attacked. Guys that didn't even know Sarah were getting ready to beat his ass. I pulled her into my arms and I let her cry. Ever since then, I had been protecting her.
*End Flashback*
I heard a whispered, "Hey" which brought me back to reality.
"How did it go?" I asked.
"It went well, I think. I just feel tired," she whispered as she leaned into me.
"Let's get you home," I smiled as she did in return.
When we arrived home, I ushered her upstairs to our room and into bed. I covered her up, gave her a kiss, and left the room as she fell into dream land.
I went back downstairs to clean until our dinner arrived. I'd ordered our favorite food: pizza, breadsticks, and a two liter of coke. I'd called Pizza Hut after leaving our room and they'd informed me that it'd be here in about an hour, so I had a bit of time to spare.
I cleaned up the kitchen; dusting, putting dishes in the dishwasher, straightening up the fridge and freezer, and wiping everything down. Then it was on to the family room where I dusted, wiped down the coffee table, picked up the trash, and vacuumed. As I was finishing up the down stairs, the doorbell chimed. I opened the door, paid the delivery guy and tipped him, then closed the door and put the food on the table. I went upstairs and to our room.
"Honey, dinner's here," I told her quietly as I went to her side.
She slowly woke up, seeming a little groggy still, and stumbled to her feet. I helped her down stairs and into the chair. I handed her a slice of pizza on a saucer, glass of coke, and a napkin. I also put a slice in front of me. We said a little prayer before eating. The next thing I knew, Sarah was hurtling toward the sink to throw up.
I walked up behind her and pulled her hair back from her face. I then started rubbing her back as I grabbed the hand towel. I turned on the faucet to wet the towel and used it to wipe her face with. I felt helpless knowing there was nothing else I could do to help her.
A week later, we were back in the chemotherapy center. I was once again in the lobby as she went back to get her treatment done. I really hoped this treatment would work and that all of the sickness and pain would be worth it because I couldn't imagine life without my soul mate and wife, Sarah.
I must have lost track of time because the next thing I knew, I heard a whisper, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Hey baby," she said, a weak smile gracing her beautiful face.
"Hey, let's get you home." I returned her smile as I rose to my feet.
I wrapped my arm around her exhausted shoulders as we headed out. I helped her into the car, then got in myself, started up the engine, and headed for home. A few moments later, we arrived home. I helped Sarah out of the truck and into bed.
The next few months were hard. She had many ups and downs but she was also getting better and better every day.
One time, a month after her first treatment, she got really angry and snapped at me when it was time to go to her treatment.
"I said I don't want to go!" she'd yelled.
"But babe this is the only way you'll get better," I pleaded.
"I'm done fighting! I'm so tired and it's not worth it anymore." Tears began to fall from her eyes.
"Babe, life is worth the fight. The kids need you and I need you. You have a family who cares about you, isn't that worth fighting for?" I'd asked.
"I love you guys too, it's just so hard. I just want to give up. Why won't you let me?" she begged.
I sighed and kneeled down in front of her, gently pulling her chin up so that she was looking at me.
"Remember that promise I made you when all of this first started?" I'd asked her.
"Yes," she sniffed.
"I meant every single word I said that day. I will fight for you until there's nothing left to fight for because my love is that strong," I declared.
"It's just so hard to keep fighting though, babe," she whispered.
I nodded in understanding as our son came into the room and gave his mom a hug while telling her, "Mom, you need to go. I don't want you to die."
Those words brought the determination back to the forefront of her mind.
She looked at me and said, "Ok, let's go babe."
I then ushered her out to the car.
I couldn't really say that I blamed her for wanting to give up. She's endured many of the side effects that comes with having chemo, such as fatigue, which started early on, but slowly got better. She has had pain in her joints and many headaches, but she persevered through it. She's had muscle spasms, but with massages they went away. She's also had trouble moving her fingers due to the nerve damage that was caused by the chemo treatments, but she didn't let any of that stop her from getting better. She is determined to stay here with us.
The most troubling side effect has been that the drugs they use for chemo has made her lose some of her memories. There were times she forgot where she laid something and, at the time, we didn't think anything of it because most of us misplace things at one time or another. What really concerned us was when she forgot our son's name. It broke his heart because he's a kid and he didn't understand how his own mom could forget his name.
Despite all of these horrors, Sarah and I remain hopeful that, with time, she will be able to beat this cancer once and for all, and she will be able to return to her former self. In the meantime, the kids and I are loving her through it.
Song: "I'm Gonna Love You Through It" by Martina McBride
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