May I die?
I started this new fic, but I'll surely continue the old ones too. For the purpose of the fanfiction I changed the characters, so don't be surprised.
Little preview: Emily has never been a ranger neither has her sister been sick. Master X is already defeated and Jayden lives a normal life. But then comes Emily...
Please tell me if you like the first chapter, it's all Emily's POV.
Silence. A breath of sadness. Silence again. Where the hell am I? Am I dead? Please, please I wanna be dead. I just don't want to keep on living in this cruel world full of disappointment and pain. I just can't stand it! I wanna be gone, just dead. Have no more worries, be free.
But I'm not. No, I still feel something, something painful. O Lord, why? Why couldn't I just die this time? Why? No! No! No! No! I don't want to be here! Not here, not now! Not in this stupid grey room. What room is this anyway? Looking out of the window to my right I can see trees swaying softly in the wind. It would be nice to be a tree, maybe an oak. Then everyone would have a picnic, play or just enjoy himself beneath me. I would be cut down to feed a family's fire in the end. But no, I will be buried on a graveyard where hundreds of people walk around. Just this once I wanted to die.
Now rain is falling against the window. The birds seek shelter under the thin bushes. It's November but rather chilly for this time of the year. Just like last night when I, unfortunately unsuccessfully, tried to commit suicide. Yes, that's how far things have come with me, trying to kill myself because God doesn't do it himself. I think the Lord just doesn't understand how I feel and that's why I'm still alive. But I wonder what happened last night.
Flashback
Determined I was sitting in my very small car. Drunken I've been driving to a cliff to throw myself down. I got out of the car, closed the door, staggered to the edge of the cliff and stared down. The sea down there was raging and it started to rain heavily. From one moment to the other I was soaked to the bone. Trembling I held a bottle of strong vodka in my left hand and rose it to my lips to take another deep swallow. It made me feel special, not a nineteen-year-old student who could, despite hours of working as a waitress, barely afford a tiny flat. The person with the worst name on earth – Emily. How could anybody in his right mind name his daughter Emily? I hate that name!
I got closer, my toes were already over the edge, I shifted my weight to the front and then … I was flying. Flying down, deeper and deeper until I hit the cold water. The impact itself should have been enough to kill me, but obviously it wasn't. The cold felt like thousands of needles torturing my skin and I bit my bottom lip in agony. My lungs cried for air, but even if I had wanted to dive up I couldn't have. The waves pushed me deeper and deeper and then all went black.
End of flashback
And here I am now, in an unfamiliar room. What happened? I should have been dead, my corpse down at the bottom of the sea. But I'm lying here. Here in this bed