A/N: I know, I know, I know.
"Curli, it's been over a year! A whole freaking year! WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN?"
And to that, I say, I'm sorry. I truly am. I don't know what to say, other than the fact that life got in the way, I lost motivation, et cetera. But I have been trying to write more recently, especially because I think it would help me a lot. Writing, as any writer knows, can be quite therapeutic.
Anyway, now that that's out of the way... DID I JUST WRITE ROYAI?
Just kidding. But seriously. EdWin might be my personal favorite (if you somehow haven't guessed that already), but I do also have an appreciation for these two as well. It's interesting how a lot of their relationship is left unsaid, and you have to kinda read between the lines to see it. That being said, I definitely wanted to write these two poems interpreting their relationship, and just why they do some of the things they do.
For those of you who aren't already aware, there's another set of poems that I already have posted, the title is, "A World Away", feel free to go check it out, in fact I'd really appreciate it. For those of you who already know and in fact have already read it, it's pretty much the same idea, just for a different couple. This first poem is from Riza's POV, the second one is from Roy's.
Also a quick thanks to DragonRedfox for reviewing A World Away and motivating me to write these next two poems.
Hope you enjoy!
Love and Duty (Riza Hawkeye)
I would be lying if I said I never considered
If I said I never wondered
What if?
What would my life be like
If I hadn't chosen this path?
If I had never faced the agonizing realities of war,
If I had never carried upon my shoulders the weight of duty
If I had never stained my hands with human blood
Where would I have been?
But what ifs are useless,
Meaningless,
Because I can't change the past,
Because I have no desire to change the past,
And ultimately,
Ultimately
It's all because of you.
You, with your charismatic smile and the obsidian fire in your eyes,
You, with your idealistic goals and the terrible power at your fingertips,
You, the only thing I have left worth fighting for
Worth dying for,
And so, it's because of you that I'm in this position to begin with.
It's a difficult position, I must admit
Watching as you charm your way into the hearts of women
Watching as you smile and flirt and laugh
Knowing that I'm the only woman you will never look at
The only woman you will never have
But despite how much it hurts,
Despite how much it kills,
It is a burden I carry willingly
Because I know
I know
That what you want and what you need are vastly different.
You need someone who will protect you, instead of you needing to protect them
You need someone who will follow you into Hell and not just into your bed
You need someone who will fight for you
Push you
Every single step of the way
Until you're finally standing at the top
Finally able to make your dreams a reality
And I take pride in being able to say
That I am that woman.
I am the woman that you need, not the woman that you want
I am the one who will push you and fight for you
The one who will go to the ends of the earth for you
Who will live and breathe and die for you
Continuously carrying this burden with me
Despite the iron wall that stands between us
And people may wonder
May ask
Why I chose duty instead of love
But it was out of love that I chose duty
It was because you mean everything to me
That I made myself yours in a way that no woman ever would be
And regardless of what that means
Despite never being able to truly be with you
I know
That I would make the same choice a thousand times over
And I will never, ever regret it.