Oh. My. God. I can't believe I'm actually posting this... I'm assuming the apocalypse is close at hand, and soon I'm gonna be putting up Pokemon oneshots where the reader gets paired with BROCK. or PIKACHU, for crying out loud! But ya know what, this makes me smile, so there.
Yes, this is a reader insert, so, Just imagine yourself in here, if you may. This is somewhat a Christmasfic, so it's a little late. Even more-so considering that this was written... two years ago. I found it on a piece of paper I was gonna scrap, and was all like, "Oh damn, I completely forgot about this!"
Plus there is the fact that this is a Naruto fic. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Naruto or anyone within said fandom (with the exception of Sakura and Karin), but I've kinda lost interest in the story. Kakashi's dead and Naruto now looks like something I once saw while I was on an acid-trip.(apologies if I spoiled it for anyone, and no, I've never actually been tripping before)
Okay, CaCoPhOnY Of ScReAmS does not own Naruto.
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"So, explain this to me..."
"Pein! It's mistletoe!"
"Missile... toes?"
"No... It's a plant."
"That shoots people in the feet?"
"... I don't think so."
"Then why is it there? It's very... intimidating."
You and Pein, the dreaded leader of the Akatsuki, were arguing under said intimidating plant.
"... You're supposed to kiss me..." You said, quietly.
"What?" He whispered back, just as quiet.
"It's a Christmas tradition, you're supposed to kiss the person you're under the mistletoe with..."
"Isn't that rather... sissy?" Pein asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"S-shut up! I'm not saying you HAVE to! I was just letting you know!" You protested, waving your hands wildly in front of your face to hide your growing blush.
"Oh, okay. Wait... is that plant going to shoot my foot?"
"No, Pein."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Positive?"
"YES, Pein."
"Well okay then..."
An awkward and peinful silence (lol Peinful, it's a pun!) was brought through as the two of you just stood there under the red and green plant
"So..."
"Yeah..."
More awkward silence.
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?" You asked petulantly.
He smirked, "... Say please?"
You smirked right back, "Peeeiiinnnn~ You handsome hunk of sexiness, you. I want you--no, I NEED you to...kiss...me....please~"
"Well..." Pein pondered that for a while, meanwhile Inner Pein had already made up his mind. But of course, it's not appropriate for this story. Dirty, dirty Pein. Bad. "Okay."
And then, the most sexiest kiss EVER began. Pein leaned down and literally proceeded to shove his tongue down your throat. You moaned. And then began the hot, sweaty, make-out session.
With all the noise you were making, you were bound to attract some attention.
"--Oi! What the fuck's going on down there!?" Hidan yelled down the stairs. You stopped momentarily, before miving your 'activity' to the nearest closet. Hidan was still interested, so he leaned against the closet to hear what was going on,
"Ungh! Pein-saaan, HARDER!"
"Mmm..."
"Agh!" Thud thud thud thump.
"HOLY FUCK!" Hidan shrieked, and ran away as fast as he could to tell someone about what his 'unbeatable' leader was doing with you in a closet. Accidentally smacking his manliness off of a wall.
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"Wow..." You breathed as you stepped out of the closet, clothes messed and hair dischevelled.
"... I believe I understand mistletoe now... I will be sure to inform the other members of this tradition."
"Mmhmm~"
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"I swear to Jashin, they were like... fucking in the closet or something!" Hidan proclaimed to an unamused Zetsu as they walked down the hall to where you and Pein were previously, walking obliviously under the cause of all this chaos; The Mistletoe.
"Now you two have to KISS!" Pein yelled, coming around a corner.
"...Oh HELL no!"
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...Poor, poor Hidan. I'm going to hurt myself for this. I DESPISE reader inserts to no end, as well as OCs... WHY did I assist in the writing of this abomination!?!?
Well, at least I can share the blame. This was Co-written with my bestest buddy, Bloodjester, AKA Insane-Fluff. It was actually HER IDEA. Not mine. Hisss! I was trying to do my geography work and she was all like, "Pssst! Oi, Shaye! Oi! Write more of this!" and I, in my stupidity, was like, "Okay!"
'Cuz that's what we do. One person starts writing something, when passes it to the other after a paragraph, and so on and so forth.
Feel free to shoot me.