Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldnt be writing this for Fanfiction, I'd be rolling in my money!
Okay guys, this is gonna be a three part story for you. Originally a one shot but would have been way too long!
R&R please!
It had been three days since the loss of their loves ones. Of Fred, Lupin and Tonks and of so many more who had died fighting in that final war. Hogwarts had been rebuilt to the best it could be. But only time and effortless work would be able to bring Hogwarts to its true potential of beauty it once had been.
Tonight had been an emotional time for everyone inside the castle for tonight had been memorial for everyone lost in battle. There had been tears, speeches and toasts. And the boy who had saved them all was presented with a surprise Order of Merlin: First Class. As was his two best friends who had helped him achieve peace to the wizarding world once again.
A red haired attractive girl was climbing through her house common room door looking teary yet no tears had stained her cheeks that night. She was a strong girl. Growing up with six brothers had somewhat made her tough, and not weepy as so many others at the memorial had been. She paused causing her two companions to stop also.
"Oi, Ginny, what did you stop for?" Ron asked his arm around Hermione who was still wiping tears away.
"Sorry Ron, I just didn't want to disturb Harry" Ginny whispered pointedly.
Ron followed her gaze and saw his best friend sprawled on the couch asleep. Hermione removed herself from Ron's grip and to Harry's side. She removed his glasses and placed a blanket upon him.
"Let him sleep, he hasn't slept well in a while" she whispered looking up at the others after tending to Harry.
They both nodded and joined Hermione at the stairs as they walked towards their dormitories.
It must have been about two in the morning when Ginny travelled downstairs to collect her book bag for some light reading. She located her bag and had just started back upstairs when some light moans and whimpers reached her ears. She turned back and saw Harry. She sighed sadly at his distress and placed her book bag on the third step and walked towards him.
Upon seeing him closer she saw his face was distorted with the sorrow and rage of his dream. She couldn't quite understand what he was saying. She knelt down beside him and gently shook him so not to startle him, and whispered his name softly.
Slowly, his face un-creased and his eyes started to open. His eyes managed to relax more when he saw Ginny beside him looking worried.
"Hey" She whispered passing him his glasses.
"Thanks" He muttered putting his glasses on.
"You okay?" Ginny asked tentatively looking up at his pale, clammy face.
"Yeah, just a bad dream you know" he said smiling slightly.
He sat up and patted the seat beside him motioning her to sit next to him. She did and as though things had never changed she put her head on his shoulder and her arm across his stomach. Harry froze at her actions.
It wasn't as though he didn't want her to be like this with him; he did want her. He wanted to call Ginny his own again. He just wanted sure if any of them were ready again so soon after both of them had suffered losses in the heat of battle.
Ginny soon realised what she was doing and drew back very quickly.
"I'm so sorry Harry. I don't know why I did that!" Ginny lied.
She had been surprised she had done it, but she honestly did know the reason. She was lonely and missed him. She needed the contact back between them. This had been the first time that they had been alone since last June.
"It's okay, honestly" Harry replied not meeting Ginny's eyes.
An awkward silence fell between the former lovers. And just as Ginny turned her head in his direction to tell him she was going to bed, he kissed her. He gave into the temptation of needing her right now.
She kissed him back just as passionately as he was kissing her. She had longed for this all year. All of the worry, all of the fighting, all of the tears had finally been repaid. For he was still alive, he was reasonably well and he was kissing her like his life depended on it.
He parted from her panting slightly.
"Sorry" he whispered, not meaning it at all.
Ginny laughed and pulled him closer to her and put her arms around him.
"I'm always here for you Harry" she whispered.
She pecked him on the lips and bid him goodnight.
He watched her travel up to bed. But he remained where he was.
It was quiet here, and warm. Mostly everyone would be in bed and he was free of looks, whispers and questions. He was free of the praise, of the worship he didn't deserve. He liked it at night. But he cursed the day.
Couldn't anyone understand that he too needed time to grieve? Didn't they know how much he was hurting? Why couldn't they see he wasn't the hero that they saw?
He knew of only five people who understood, they respected him. They kept their distance from him, and often took over something Harry had been asked to do.
All too soon morning had come and Harry found himself lying by the diminished fire. He saw the daylight streaming through the windows and quickly got up to face the hordes of "fans" who would want to say good morning and sit next to him while he ate his breakfast. He sighed and joined Ron in the mass of students leaving the Gryffindor.
No one could fail to notice Harry's sadness this morning. He didn't even attempt to put on a face today.
Ron and Hermione shared worried glances.
"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione asked cautiously.
Harry looked up at her and shook his head.
"I'm tired Hermione. I'm not getting any rest from anyone. I don't mean you guys, I just, and I know this sounds weird, I just want to go home, I just wish I knew where that was"
Hermione nodded.
"Harry, go on upstairs, me and Ron will tell the staff to leave you alone for the day and if they need anything to come to Ron or me, get some rest Harry, and you really do need it"
Harry considered her for a moment, then nodded and smiled his appreciation.
"He needs her" Hermione whispered.
"What?" Ron asked "Sorry, I didn't hear what you said"
Hermione shook her head "It didn't matter" 'not to you anyway'
Ron looked at her suspiciously and saw her glance furtively in Ginny's direction still with worry etched upon her face. He followed her gaze towards his sister and squinted in confusion.
Ron climbed into his temporary dormitory that he and Harry shared and saw his friend asleep. He never looked peaceful in his sleep. The only time he had seen him peaceful in sleep was the very first night they had shared a dormitory.
"Harry, mate, its 8 at night, we just wondered you might want something to eat" Ron said as Harry began to open his eyes.
Harry nodded.
"What about you?" At first Ron looked confused but then he understood.
"I'll have some desert, I skipped it"
"Kreacher, can you come here please?" Harry called out.
The house elf known as Kreacher came almost straight away. Harry asked for some dinner for himself and desert for both him and Ron and the elf left bowing low to both Harry and Ron.
"Comes in handy really, doesn't he?" Ron chuckled.
Harry paid him no attention.
Ron sighed. He knew what was wrong now. Why Hermione couldn't tell him he didn't have any idea.
"Mate, you okay?" he asked starting a conversation.
Harry grunted in response.
"Ginny misses you" Ron began. "She misses the closeness you had"
Harry looked up at Ron finally.
"Does she?" Harry asked emotionless.
"Yeah, I know she wants you back now that's its all over"
"It's not though Ron! It's never going to be over. I am never going to be normal! I'll always be in the papers, I'll always have some reporter trailing me, and I'll always have my life exposed to everyone!"
Harry turned away from Ron and looked out of the window. He could see the lake's reflection of the castle he concentrated on that while he spoke next, knowing that he had to get Ron out of the room before he broke down crying again.
"Ginny can never be with me" Harry said through gritted teeth.
"Of course she can Harry -"
"It was a mistake before" Harry lied.
Ron stood up, suddenly angry.
"You used her" he spat.
Harry knew what he had to do. For her and for the Weasley's and for anyone close to him at that time, he had to do it.
"Yes, I did" he lied again.
The next thing Harry felt was incredible pain to the back of his head that brought him to his knees.
He just lay there taking it.
The next morning, Harry sighed as he looked in the mirror. He was terribly blooded up, and bruised. Ron's brotherly instinct had kicked in rather hard and rather fast.
Everywhere he went, he got looks from people. Apparently his desire for the bruises and blood to mingle in with his other scars had been overlooked by the gods.
"Harry! What happened to you?" Hermione squealed when she met up with him in an empty corridor.
"Nothing Hermione, just leave me alone" Harry said shrugging her off.
"I will do no such thing, why are both you and Ron in such foul moods?" Hermione gasped. "He did this to you didn't he?"
Harry looked at her and smiled sadly. He could always depend on her loyalty. She had always stuck by him, no matter what. It wouldn't be fair to leave her in the dark.
"But Harry" Hermione started after Harry told her everything "You didn't use Ginny"
"I know I didn't Hermione I just don't want her to have a life full of photographers and reporters and being looked on as Harry Potter's girlfriend. It isn't a life Hermione. Please, leave this between me and you, the further me and Ginny are, the happier I'll be, for her sake"
"You want a life of solitude?" Hermione asked sadly.
"No, I don't, but I'm going to" Harry said in a final tone as he walked into the Great Hall.
"Harry, dear," Mrs Weasley began. "Why whatever happened to your face?"
"Nothing, Mrs Weasley honestly"
"Err, right anyway, we're leaving tonight. I would wish for you to come and live with us" Mrs Weasley said holding his cheek fondly and yet examining his bruised closely at the same time.
Harry bit his lip. This was going to hurt him more than it hurt her.
"No, thank you, Mrs Weasley, I shall find a place of my own" Harry said and walked off dismissively.
He didn't look back, he couldn't look back. Even when the tears choked him and he felt like running into her motherly arms and accepting her offer of a home, he didn't turn back. He had to be alone; it was how it was supposed to be. To give others life, you sacrificed yourself and your happiness.
A few minutes after he had sat down at the far end of the table, away from everyone else and he had bit back the tears threatening to fall, he heard Hermione shouting and he looked up to see her confronting Ron.
"YOU THINK THAT WAS RIGHT, DO YOU? HURTING HARRY LIKE THAT!" she screeched.
Ron, who had clearly lost his temper by now, shouted back.
"HE TOLD ME TO MY FACE HE USED MY SISTER YES I DO THINK IT WAS BLOODY RIGHT. NO ONE, NOT EVEN FAMOUS BLOODY HARRY POTTER GETS AWAY WITH USING MY SISTER LIKE THAT!"
He saw every Weasley look at him at Ron's words. He closed his eyes expecting another beating but opened them when none came and when Hermione's voice filled his ears again.
"OH RON, HE TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED, YES, HE TOLD YOU HE USED HER BUT HE LOVED HER, LOVES HER IN FACT. HE'S BEING A BLOODY GOOD GUY AGAIN AND LEAVING HER ALONE TO GIVE HER A LIFE WITHOUT BEING KNOWN AS HARRY POTTER'S GIRLFRIEND, A LIFE WITHOUT FAME, WITHOUT REPORTERS AND CAMERAS!" Hermione finished and sat down next to Neville.
Harry could feel every eye upon him. He couldn't take it anymore; he pushed his food away from him and headed for the door, deliberately taking the long route so not to pass the Weasley's.
Harry, as quickly as he could, went into Gryffindor tower to collect his backpack; he didn't want to stay here any longer. He didn't know where he was going to go, but he was getting away from Hogwarts.
Running down the stairs and out into the grounds, he made his way out of the gate so that he could apparate once he was outside the protective charms set around and in the castle.
"HARRY!"
Harry turned around and saw Ginny running towards him.
"Ginny -" Harry started.
"Shut up Harry, for once in your life shut up" Ginny said catching up with him. "Do you not get it?"
"Yes, I do, perfectly" Harry said slipping out of the gate and immediately apparating away from Ginny.