Chakotay woke with a start. His felt his heart racing in his chest as he attempted to shake off his bad dream. He felt a soft hand come into contact with his bare lower back and immediately felt a sense of calm rush through his temples.
"Nightmare, my love?" Captain Kathryn Janeway asked her husband as she slowly rubbed his back. Her voice was soft and soothing, her eyes remained closed as she attempted to calm her husband after his visceral reaction to a night terror.
Chakotay relaxed into her touch and eased back onto his elbow so that his face hovered just above Janeway's own. "I'm better now," he said, brushing off her concern. And it wasn't a lie. It was, at worst, just a simple untruth. Ever since Voyager's encounter, and subsequent incident, with the Vidiians three weeks earlier, Chakotay had been experiencing vivid night terrors- flashbacks to the events of the not-so-distant past that made it impossible for him to sleep through the night. He attempted to brush off this latest dream-intrusion by focusing all of his thoughts on the woman, his woman, underneath him. Chakotay brought his lips down deliberately and kissed Janeway fully and passionately. He felt their bodies' immediate responses: her deepening of the kiss and his shifting of weight until he covered her body completely with his own. He let his hands travel lower on her body, cupping her breasts in his large hands while his tongue danced against hers in his mouth. "Chakotay," he heard Janeway whisper as she broke off their kiss for a moment to take in air. He didn't respond, he didn't need to. He shifted the bulk of his weight onto his knees and began kissing along a familiar trail south along her body, pushing up and away the fabric of her sheer, almost translucent, nightgown along the way.
Janeway didn't speak again, but her titillating moans provided Chakotay with all the feedback he required. He brought himself back up to face her and began kissing her mouth once again. Chakotay smiled as his wife reached out to gently clutch both sides of his face, a familiar signal that she was ready for him to enter her most sensitive region. Without moving from her impossibly soft and supple lips, Chakotay moved his hand downward in order to guide himself inside her soft folds and locked eyes with Janeway as he entered, filling her completely. Time seemed to stop in these moments for Chakotay. In bed with his wife pliable and sensual underneath him, her hair cascading along the silky sheets, allowed him to block every bad thought and fear from his mind. For this quiet, instantaneous, yet seemingly infinite moment, he was able to forget the dark memories and fears that kept him awake at night, he was able to forget the dark emotions that caused him worry almost every waking minute. As Janeway looked into Chakotay's eyes she understood what this moment of deep and intimate physical connection meant to him. Chakotay loved so fiercely and his lovemaking was always intense, a slow and tantric process that never failed to bring them both into erotic ecstasy. Without moving his eyes from hers, his face just millimeters away from her own, Chakotay began to slowly pump in and out of Janeway's body. Janeway felt her body give into the exquisite pleasure and though she knew Chakotay would not break his intense optical connection, she felt herself involuntarily drop her head back, close her eyes, and arch her back into his powerful thrusts.
"Kathryn," Chakotay moaned loudly he felt his partner's body come; he heard her choked gasps as she clutched at his chest and rode out the entirety of her orgasm. As always, Janeway's pleasure incited a warming sensation in the middle of Chakotay's chest, an outpouring of love, a primal need to protect, and the deep need to lay claim to the woman underneath. Desperate to mark her as his, Chakotay's thrusting pace quickened, and he suddenly went rigid- emptying his own strong orgasm deep inside his wife's eager body. Unwilling to crush her body, despite the fact that the last thing on his mind was movement, Chakotay rolled off Janeway onto his side of their bed.
Janeway chuckled as her husband focused on calming down from his powerful orgasm. "Well that was a spectacular way to wake up," she said laying a kiss on his temple. Chakotay groaned in content by way of response. Janeway looked over at him, her voice becoming more serious, "how are you doing?"
"I'm fine," Chakotay replied, understanding by her tone that their intense lovemaking had not made her forget the reason he had woken both of them up: his nightmare. Janeway rolled her eyes and touched his shoulder, gently yet firmly. It was a familiar gesture that told Chakotay she didn't believe him. He turned on his side to face her fully, "it's the same nightmares, Keira is gone, taken, and I can't do anything to save her. I fail her as a father and I fail you as a husband, Kathryn. It's not all of the bad things that happen in the dreams that make me restless, it's the feeling that I can't protect my family- my one true obligation."
Janeway frowned, "I want you to visit sickbay today. You are not to report for duty until you can get one full night of sleep."
Chakotay nodded, his feelings mixed about visiting sickbay. He didn't get a chance to answer because the door to their bedroom suddenly swooshed open. Four year old Keira stood in the doorway, clutching her favorite stuffed animal. Chakotay moved his gaze from his wife to his beautiful daughter and smiled, "good morning, my little love."
"Daddy, I'm hungry." Keira said, not stopping to greet either of her parents.
"Good morning to you too, Keira," Janeway said, her voice amused. "Why don't you come give me a kiss before demanding breakfast?"
Always obedient, Keira padded over to Janeway's side of the bed and stretched her arms up, waiting for her mother to pick her up into her arms. Janeway picked her up slowly, not missing the fact that it was getting harder and harder to pick up her only child these days- she and Chakotay were going to have to have a conversation about weaning Keira off her love of being picked up, if she got any bigger Janeway was going to rip her back out trying to pick her up. Keira snuggled deeply into her mother's chest and giggled uncontrollably as Chakotay leaned over the bed to mock tickle her, making the ticking motions but not actually making contact with her. The action had always worked to make Keira laugh since the day she was born. Janeway looked down at the top of her daughter's small head as she laughed at Chakotay's antics and felt her heart fill with an immense feeling of love and admiration. She kissed Keira gently and breathed in her familiar scent, the effect was calming and she closed her eyes in contentment for a moment before her combadge disrupted the family moment.
~Tuvok to Captain Janeway~
"Go ahead, Tuvok." Janeway responded despondently.
~We have entered Andorrian space, your presence on the bridge is requested as soon as possible~
"On my way," she answered and clicked off her combadge, resting on the bedside table near her pillow.
Janeway met Chakotay's eyes, "you set to handle breakfast and dropping her off at school?"
"Of course," Chakotay replied, leaning over to plant a quick kiss on his wife's lips.
She smiled, "of course." She pulled on her uniform and pulled back her hair, getting ready for her day. After a few minutes in the bathroom, she stopped back in the bedroom to say goodbye to Keira for the day. She paused at the edge of the bed nearest to her daughter, "I'm going to work Keira, I want you to have a fantastic day at school."
Keira looked away from her father and up at Janeway, "I will Momma."
"Kiss," Janeway instructed her daughter, leaning down to lay a kiss on the younger Janeway's tiny lips. Having wished her mother goodbye, Keira scooted on the bed to climb onto Chakotay's open chest. He closed his arms protectively around his daughter's small frame and nodded to his wife as she walked to the bedroom's exit. "Chakotay," Janeway said, standing in the doorway, "I want you in sickbay right after you drop her off. I'll come meet you."
"You don't have to…"
She cut her husband off, "I do." Before he could argue, she turned out the door and walked out of their quarters- heading towards the turbolift.
Chakotay checked the time, they were still early enough to lay in bed for a few more minutes. Keira was snug on his chest, her tiny face buried in his neck. She went completely still after a minute or so and Chakotay heard the familiar whistle of her soft snores. He closed his eyes warily, not wanting to oversleep and also not wanting this quiet moment to end. His mind had other plans, despite the fact that his daughter was safely in his arms, he couldn't stop his brain from thrusting him three weeks into the past, when Keira was abducted by a hostile Vidiian ship and nearly killed while held captive. She was taken from them for eight excruciating days, days he felt would be impossible to ever forget. On his bed in his and Janeway's quarters he was suddenly wracked with fear and he felt his grip on his daughter's sleeping form tighten. He needed to protect her, they were trying to take her away from him. There were too many enemies, the need to protect made him feel crazy. His thoughts took away from the room he was in and far away from the needs of the child in his arms, his grip around her body and on her left arm tightened considerably- the hold too tight, causing purple bruises to begin forming on her arm and sides.
"Daddy! You're hurting me! Too tight, too tight!" Keira cried up at Chakotay. He looked at her blankly, his brain not recognizing where he was, his grip continuing to tighten around her small body. "Daddy! Let me go!" Keira cried again. This time the end of her cry was interrupted by a louder voice.
"Chakotay!" Janeway's voice yelled from the entryway of the bedroom, she had almost arrived at the bridge when she realized she had left her combadge on her bedside table. Walking briskly back to her family's quarters she had expected to see her husband and daughter eating breakfast in the family room and was shocked when she heard the small cry of "Daddy! Too tight!" coming from the bedroom. She was horrified when the doors to the bedroom opened and she observed her tiny daughter being crushed in a vice grip by her husband, his gaze far away. "Chakotay!" Janeway screamed, her legs closing the gap between the door and her daugher in three large, quick steps. "Chakotay, let her go! Let my baby go!" Janeway frantically reached out to pry her daughter from Chakotay's too-tight grasp. Her breath caught sharply in her throat as she noticed the ugly purple bruises on her daughter's skin, she exhaled as she quickly pushed thoughts of what might have happened if she hadn't forgotten her combadge out of her mind. Chakotay's arms wouldn't budge, he had a wild look in his eye and Janeway knew that wherever he was, it wasn't in this room with his wife and child, he looked almost catatonic, unable to control his body movements, mumbling something about 'saving Keira'.
Beneath Janeway, struggling to breathe, Keira looked up at her father and must have recognized instinctively the same faraway look in Chakotay's eyes that Janeway had just noticed. Her face dropped from one of fear to one of sadness and the tone of her cry changed from panicked and high pitched to a low pleading wail. "Daaa-ddd-yyy" she cried, her voice strained as she grasped for breath, "please let me go,"
As if in response to his daughter's change in tone, Chakotay seemed to snap back into the moment, his eyes focusing and his arms immediately easing off his daughter. He looked down at her small body, wracked with tears in his arms and then at his wife frantically pulling his daughter from him and towards her standing figure. "Chakotay." Janeway breathed heavily. Chakotay looked at his wife, confused.
"What is going on?" he asked, reaching up to comfort his sobbing daughter. He winced as Keira jerked fearfully out of reach of his touch.
"Don't touch her." Janeway said, reaching out to cup the back of her daughter's head, protectively holding her face in the crook of her neck.
"Don't touch her? Kathryn…" Chakotay started, getting up from the bed.
"Chakotay, stay here." Janeway replied, over the still violent sobs coming from their daughter.
"Kathryn, what's going on? What happened? I was laying here with Keira and next thing I know she's screaming, you're back in the room and now I'm not allowed to comfort my own daughter?"
"Chakotay, not now, you need to get to sickbay immediately, but I need to calm our daughter down first and make sure she is okay... When I walked in you were squeezing and grabbing her in a bear hug- she was crying she couldn't breathe! Look, Chakotay, look." Janeway turned a bit so Chakotay could see the large purple welts on Keira's left arm. She bounced Keira in her arms, rubbing her back and attempting to soothe her to stop crying. Keira's sobs were now interrupted by large coughs and choking sounds, her forceful crying had burned her throat, leaving her to have a number of coughing fits.
Chakotay's eyes widened with total shame as he saw the marks on his daughter's soft skin. His heart was suddenly wracked with a sharp and aching pain as he realized how badly he just hurt his daughter. "Oh my gods," he said softly. "I'm- I'm… I'm so sorry," he said to Janeway. Softening his voice even more he directed his speech towards Keira, "Keira, baby, my little love, I'm so so sorry. Daddy should never have hurt you like that, oh my gods, my love, I'm so sorry."
Janeway was torn between the two people she loved most in the world. She knew Chakotay would never have hurt Keira on purpose, she wasn't upset with him, she was gravely worried. She had known something was wrong with him this morning, it was why she had insisted he visit sickbay, but he hadn't shown any signs of issues while he was awake, most of his symptoms had occurred up until this point in the night. She felt like kicking herself for not making him visit the Doctor sooner. Chakotay was strong, Keira was not, Janeway had to take care of her daughter first. "Chakotay, it will all be okay I know you didn't do this on purpose."
"On purpose, on accident... Kathryn, it doesn't matter. I just hurt my daughter. I'm supposed to protect her, not... I hurt her."
"Chakotay." Kathryn responded sternly. "I know, we are going to talk about this, but not now. Right now I need to take care of our daughter. Lie down for a few minutes, I'll take care of her and we'll call the doctor to come to our quarters once I make sure Keira is okay."
Chakotay nodded lay back on the pillows, closing his eyes in frustration. Janeway frowned, worried about her husband's health and eager to settle her daughter down. She used the hand not supporting her daughter to gently touch her palm against her husband's cheek. "I love you, Chakotay."
Kathryn Janeway padded out of her and Chakotay's shared bedroom supporting Keira on her hip. Keira continued to cry, but her sobs had diminished considerably and amounted now to little more than a pitiful whimper occasionally interrupted by bouts of coughing. Janeway gingerly laid her young daughter on her bed and brought herself to a sitting position next to the small human. Keira had inherited the best traits from her parents. She had Janeway's soft and thick hair, striking eyes and strong cheekbones. She also had Chakotay's dimples (Janeway's favorite part of her daughter), full lips, and strong brow. She was an incredibly quiet and loving child- she befriended everyone she met and had a sweet and caring disposition, she literally couldn't hurt a fly. Janeway couldn't stand to watch her daughter hurt or upset. She had tried to move on from the events of the previous few weeks (the very events that continued to torment her husband) in order to be strong for their daughter, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't still haunted by the excruciating loss of their daughter to the Vidiians, the pain Keira was just now seeming to recover from her ordeal. She was still visiting the ship's counselor twice a week in the hope she would open up about what happened to her while captive. In fact, she had been pretty much silent about the whole experience, choosing to pretend it hadn't happened, behavior the counselor had seemed very wary of. From the moment Chakotay found and rescued her from the Vidiian trade ship she hadn't said a word about her time there and would go silent if either of her parents asked her about it.
Now, leaning against her daughter's bed, Janeway wondered how long it would for everyone to heal this time. She gently rubbed Keira's leg as her daughter finally stopped crying. A silence descended the pair- Janeway slowly rubbing, trying to take away the hurt and sadness. Keira broke the silence, "is Daddy okay, Momma?" she asked. Janeway's eyes welled with tears. Even after her scare, their daughter's first thought was of her father.
"He's not right now, my love, but he will be." She got up and kissed the top of Keira's head. "I'm going to go take care of Daddy, I want you to rest. I'll come in with the Doctor in a few minutes and get rid of those bruises." Caring, sweet, and incredibly smart. Janeway thought about her daughter as she walked out of the bedroom. The healing had already begun.