You? Do you want to play now, not eventually? Those words broke him – or maybe Akira face did that, eyes that were unable to see. Hikru no longer wanted to face those called Pro's. As for Sai – that one loved the game and... the boy, he didn't need that world which hurt the boy.
The game I play
Chapter 1
It starts – once more.
Seventeen years old Hikaru sat before the Goban playing Sai in their everyday match – after so many years he was still amazed. Sai hand was the strongest of all – no matter who they played on internet or in Salon's.
"I have nothing." declared Hikaru
"Thank you for the game." ghost smiled at Hikaru "You should play more on your own in Salons."
"I'm fine. Playing the real you is best of all." boy cleared the Goban and sat on his bed "Tomorrow we will visit that Korean Salon."
"For real? Hikaru you're the best!" overreacting ghost jumped on the idea
"Yeah, for real." said Hikaru and covered himself with a cover "Good night Sai"
"Rest well." Sai sat right beside the bed, looking at boy now was painful – Sai knew that Hikaru still was suffering for lost of the rival. That boy who couldn't see anything that was under him. For Hikaru sake they played in distance from Go World... on Internet in random stores and under false names in Salon's – recently customers even started to call him just Sensei which made things easier. And above all they could play each other – Sai was happy, as a teacher he could once more regain what he lost. "Reaching Hand of God. - wasn't my real dream – is a result of this. Someday Hikaru will find true rival and then... I will see it."
If we were to decide – what is Hand of God? Sai wandered over it many times and so did Shindou Hikaru. That absolute hand – perhaps that was a different one for everyone... it was just hard to reach.
Hand of God was a gift from God himself for those who could see by each other hearts...
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Hikaru logged in and picked another player from the list, Sai liked playing so much that matter of power wasn't important at all. Hikaru realized it as well – weak player isn't a person to be left behind. There was a reason in calling someone a Sensei – when you bare a title, you should response to your duties in proper way. Above all who said that you cannot learn from them too – in fact Hikaru learnt a lot, about mistakes... and about how to use them to gain a profit which is not impossible if can read very far in the game.
"Sai... there is an Event in Institute" Hikaru placed the stone and waited for opponent move "That man will play there... do you want to go?" their rival just logged off and they could leave the store.
"Hikaru?" Sai asked shocked
"I bet they forgot about me, I even look different" he put his long hairs up and made them to look just like Sai's "I guess it maybe safe for me to go."
"Thank you Hikaru" Sai was serious this time, no playing around – well that was the case if it was about that man.
"You see Touya-sensei as your rival... I know this – and I'm sorry that I cannot give you a game with him"
"I know Hikaru and I will never ask this much." Sai stood beside his vessel "What you do know is ..."
"No, not at all – but I simply cannot stand it – their attitude of being the best. Perhaps I judging then in the wrong way – it's just, I cannot think in any other way. He didn't see, not at all – when I was so serious, for the first time in my life." Hikaru voice was blank as he was saying this, Sai knew why. Only Sai knew that Hikaru heart froze that day for anyone else than Sai. "I'm the game I play – that is true, but game level isn't to by judged by us."
"Since we are all the same, non of us found it."
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Hikaru and Sai entered Institute building, that feeling was rather strange – presence of Go was higher than in any other place. Young and old people had the same smell – kifu and wood.
"Hmm... I guess that we can find you someone to play with. We can ask an Insei – but you must control yourself a bit. Winning is fine, but don't go all out." said Hikaru, his eyes landed on two boy's "No, those are Pro's – they got in some time ago."
"I remember. That older one was top Insei for a long time, Isumi-san – isn't that right Hikaru?"
"Yeah, other one is Waya-san." Hikaru smiled as he spotted unknown face of boy who sat lonely near to the exit "I'm sorry, are you an Insei?" boy was about sixteen years old and looked rather unhappy.
"Yes... I guess." said boy "If you take second class as one..."
"Will you play me?" Hikaru smiled at the boy, Sai did the same. "I want to play!"
"Sure, but you could ask someone better than me..." with little hesitation boy stood up
"No." Hikaru looked at Sai who nodded "I want to play with you."
"Okay..." boy sadness decreased a little "I'm Haruka." once they entered hall with prepared Goban's boy looked at Hikaru "And you are?
"I would like to stay unknown." stated Hikaru "If that is fine with you."
"Okay... Are you amateur?"
"I? No, I play for some time now." Hikaru knew the reason of this question "I wish to have fair game with you... We will nigiri and komi is 5.5"
"Nigiri then." boy looked at his rival eyes, it hit him – that look in his eyes, usually seen in pro's
"I'm black. Good luck!" Hikaru bowed and looked at Sai "Sai, play..."
The boy lacked something, not skills those he had for sure – that what he lacked was trust to his own hand. I this match Sai challenged him many times...
"Who are you?" asked Insei "The way you play... but you are not a Pro."
"No." Hikaru placed one more stone
"I have nothing." boy lowered his head
"Thank you for the game." Hikaru placed his hand on boy head "What you lack is trust to yourself, nothing more or less."
"What?"
"Who is your master?" Hikaru was biting his lip, boy needed help – with a little push he could became very good player.
"I play with many, but I left my study session awhile ago. I was trouble my uncle since I wasn't progressing at all... they looked down on me."
"I'm asking who?"
"Touya-sensei... but actually I have never played him."
"I see... so you know of Akira." in this moment boy for the first time saw emotions in other eyes, that was sadness and hurt "You are the same as me then..."
"Someone like you." boy looked at the board " Would catch his attention for sure, so we aren't the same."
"'I will never show before you again' and 'You? Do you want to play now, not eventually?' that is what he told me." Hikaru stood up "If you want we may talk about the game in other place later... I must watch His match."
"I don't understand you."
"Then I will tell you more clearly." Hikaru faced other boy, his words were silent so no one else wouldn't hear "I hate this world, which is nothing more than disgrace for Go itself. I hate to admit that I wanted to be here too... but I love Go – I love it so much, that I came here to see Him play. The one that my Sensei see as rival."
"Disgrace?" boy was angry, but somehow that look in other one eyes was stopping him
"Yes, I realize what it is to be a stronger... and I have come to realize what it means to be a Sensei. I must look at every student that will come to me, judge him and teach as long as he himself say 'it's enough'. Matter of power have no meaning in it... what I must see is determination – it hurts so much when someone you admire cannot see that. I know that the best." Hikaru looked at Goban "They see only those whose power on the board is greater – they are living only to beat that person..." Hikaru hands massed up the game as he lowered his head "I know that I'm misjudging... I realize that fact. Even so I'm unable to think in different manner."
"You... you faced this world before." Haruka let his hands rest on Hikaru's "Who are you?"
"It's starting..." Hikaru could see determination in Haruka eyes, the same as before from Akira "It's starting... shall I try once more, Sai?"
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