I'd give anything to give me to you
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me
House's shoulders shook as he clung tightly to himself, rocking back and forth in the uncomfortable chairs outside the ICU. Wilson put one arm around his shoulders and tried to hold him, but House held himself away from that manly comfort. He was beyond consolable.
He looked up as Cuddy and Chase came out of the room. "House? You'd better come with us," was all Chase said. Cuddy looked worse than he'd ever seen her; they all loved Alison as much as he did.
House walked through the door and stopped, paralyzed at the sight of Alison in the ICU bed, covered with tubes and wires. Bandages were everywhere, hiding the damage done by the drunk-driver, but not repairing it. His cerulean orbs filled with tears as salty and as endless as the sea itself, and Eric had to help him walk the remaining distance to the bed.
"Honey?" Ali asked, her voice weak. "Are you there?"
"I'm here," House husked back. He took her cold hand. "You're going to be okay," he lied, seeing the shock in the others' faces. But he didn't care, this was his wife and he would do much more than lying if it would give her comfort.
"No," Alison corrected him weakly. "I'm a doctor too, remember? I just want to ask you to save our baby."
"Baby?" Cuddy and Wilson asked together with a gasp. "What baby?"
"She's pregnant. We only just confirmed it last week," House said, not looking away from his wife. "I'm sorry, honey, but it's too soon. The baby would need at least another four weeks before it could be delivered safely."
The group stood silently, until Lisa spoke up. "I saw something in a journal!" she exclaimed. "When I was, um, " and she let her eyes fall to the floor, "when I was trying to get pregnant myself. This hospital in Europe has been working with transplanting the baby and all the bits that go with it into another person. If the baby's completed all the tricky bits of the early pregnancy, all it has to do is grow big enough to be born. They put the babies into men, even, using the blood supply in the abdomen to support the baby."
"What sort of results are they getting?" Foreman asked.
"The longest one was five weeks," Cuddy answered.
"Five weeks!" Chase exclaimed. "And we only need four!"
"I'll do it," House said instantly, knowing it was their only chance. "I'll carry our baby."
"Oh, House, would you?" Alison asked, her face pleading. "It would mean everything to me, to know our little girl was going to be safe."
"We'll have to move fast," Wilson put in. "There's not a lot of time."
"Wait!" Alison said, worried. "One more thing. Wilson and Cuddy are to be her godparents."
"Shouldn't you pick Robbie and Foreman instead?" House joked limply, trying to cheer her up. "I don't think they allow Jewish godparents."
"They're good people. I'm sure that God will understand." It was the last thing she ever said.
House agreed to let them prep him for the surgery, and then they stuck a needle into his arm and he fell asleep.
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
He woke up some time later, with a terrible pain across his stomach. He groaned, and a gentle hand supported his head and gave him some ice chips. "Do you want something for the pain?"
"No! I'm not having anything until after Allie gets born! No Vicodin, no drinking, nothing. I only have one chance to get this right."
"It's going to be really hard," James warned.
"I don't care. Cameron?" House asked, already knowing the answer.
"She didn't make it," Cuddy said. "Oh, House, I'm so sorry."
Greg turned away to the wall and cried. He was one of those people who could only touch happiness, not hold it. For five years he had pushed Cameron away, while she patiently kept reaching out to him, and when he had finally given in to her, they had enjoyed a mere six months together. It was just so terribly unfair.
Nothing left to make me feel anymore
There's only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Come and find me
I'll do anything you say just tell me
The next weeks were terrible. House struggled with being sick all the time, and having terrible pains in his back and legs. His ankles swelled up, and he got terrible cravings for chocolate chip ice cream and hamburgers with mustard. He still refused to take any medications, but his team did everything they could to help him succeed.
When they got to four weeks, Cuddy wanted to do the surgery to get the baby out. House looked at the scans, and refused. "She's growing just fine where she is. And the closer she gets to a proper nine months, the better her long-term chances are," he argued. "I can manage a bit longer."
Five weeks, six, seven... Now the hospital in Europe was sending over their best people to give advice and take measurements. They congratulated House on his progress, and encouraged him to keep going. Finally, after nine weeks, Wilson insisted House stop.
"She's big enough now to be fine in a support crib here at PPTH. But look at your muscles! They're beginning to come apart. If you have the surgery now, you'll be recovered by the time she comes home. Don't you want to be able to look after your daughter? Wash her, change her, and cuddle her to sleep?" Then he played his most important card. "It's what Alison would have wanted."
House had to agree, and Alison Cameron House was born by caesarian section at 10:00 the following morning.
Twenty years later.
House sat on an uncomfortable chair, in a row outdoors, watching the graduation ceremony. They called out "Alison Cameron House" first, since she had come top of her class, even though she was two years younger than all of the others. She held the piece of paper up and flashed her trademark smile while everybody cheered.
"Oh, Allie, you would have been so proud," House whispered, speaking not to his daughter but to his dead wife. He still visited her grave twice a year, on their wedding anniversary and the anniversary of her death. He thought of the awful pain and difficulty he had gone through with the pregnancy, and then raising a little baby girl all on his own. His team and Wilson and Lisa had helped, but most of the work had fallen on his shoulders, and he'd wanted it that way.
It had been worth every second of it.
Anything for you
I'll become your earth and sky
Forever never die
I'll be everything you need
