Old Maid Jane
Heated words echo in the castle section where Jane and her mother reside. Jane leaves her chambers in tears. She goes to a remote section of the courtyard garden to be alone. Dragon quickly foils her intent when he flies down to see what is bothering Jane.
"Jane, are you hurt?" Inquires Dragon
"My mother thinks I'll be an old maid if I continue with my training and become a knight. She says that no man would wed a knight. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be an old maid, it is so sad and lonely, they are pitied." Jane says as she resumes crying.
Dragon moves close to her and gently licks her face.
"What are you doing you big clumsy newt?" Jane says in a disgusted tone.
"Drying your tears." Dragon says submissively
"You only made me more wet." Says Jane as she wipes her face with her sleeve.
Dragon lowers his head as he whispers "Sorry Jane."
Jane recants her outburst "Forgive me, I have been so emotional recently, it is not like me."
"I like you regardless of your temper" admits Dragon
Jane explains "Mother thought my knight ambition would be just a phase, so now she wants me married before it is too late."
"So isn't it wrong to disobey your mother?" Asks Dragon
"Yes but she going back on her word, that is wrong too." Jane pauses "It wrongs Sir Ivan and Sir Theodore because of all the training that they have given me."
"That is three against one, in a battle you have the advantage" assumes Dragon
"Silly Dragon" exclaims Jane "It is not a battle of numbers but of tradition. If I had not trained as a knight, I would have been married instead . . ."
"So?" asks Dragon
"I'd have an arranged marriage . . . what do you think of that?" says Jane
"Arranged marriage?" dragon says quizzically
"Yes my mother along with some others would choose a suitor for me." Jane says with a tone of frustration.
Dragon asks "Should you be able to choose your future mate, what sort of short-life do you want?"
"A brave knight . . . a strong man who is gentle and honest . . ." Jane says with a wishful tone.
Dragon asks with a bit of concern "And what of this short-life man, what does he think of dragons?"
"He may like dragons, or not." Jane continues "Oh what good is it to talk of wishes when that man may not exist and I have no say in who it would be."
"Can I have a say in who you would wed?" Dragon inquires
"No," Jane says "I am not as fond of cows as you"
"Cows are funny - mooo (dragon laughs) . . . What where we talking about?"
"Cows" Jane replies with a mischievous smile
"oh they're funny - mooo (dragon laughs again)"
Jane stares at dragon in bewildered wonderment
Dragon acknowledges her disapproving stare "What? You don't think cows are funny?"
"That is right," says Jane ". . . and you cannot choose one to be my husband either."
"Oh yes, you want brave not funny," replies Dragon ". . . so what can this brave knight do for you?"
"Someone to caress and kiss me and love me." Says Jane with great wanting in her voice.
"I have done just fine for over 300 years without any of that." Retorts Dragon
"And that is why there is only one known Dragon" States Jane
Dragon says with restrained anger "If that came from anybody but you, there would be one fewer short-life in this world."
Jane tries to retract her comment "I'm sorry that comment was too cutting. What I should have said is that a man can give me a full life experience. He would make me his wife and in turn I give him my virtue . . ."
Dragon interrupts "Virtue?"
"Oh it is a polite way to say, . . . it is hard to explain . . ." Janes mouth becomes dry "women have a little bit of skin . . . and should I wed . . . my husband to be will be the one who . . . who will tear it . . ."
Again Dragon interrupts "Tear! Won't that hurt?"
"I don't know, but it will bleed." Admits Jane
Dragon declares with an incensed tone "Bleed! Should a short-life make you bleed, I will roast him three times, no six times . . . A dozen times! Then I will pound his ashes so far into the ground that only a well digger may find him!"
Jane laughs then says "Don't get your scales all ruffled, you big newt. Should I be wed, I shall want it torn, it is the only way I may be with child."
"So what if I just singe him a little . . . by accident of course?"suggests Dragon
Jane answers "That won't do either, you will just have learn to respect his union with me."
"You're taking all the fun out of being a Dragon." Protests Dragon.
"I have not been roasted, yet I can say with certainly that it would be fun for only for you." Observes Jane
Dragon asserts "You have an unblemished understanding of what it is like at the wrong end of my fire, or so I have noticed."
Jane wrinkles her nose at the imagery this brings her then says "I don't think I'd care to hear more about that."
"Awe, but my best stories are about burning short-lives and such." Dragon says with pride
"Maybe if I where to wed, my husband would like to hear your stories rather than be a story?" suggests Jane
"If you where to have a husband," says Dragon with menacing glee "I'd make sure that he hear every embellished detail."
Jane exclaims "On second thought, lets not do that. Otherwise I would not worry about being a widow but being abandoned."
Dragon says "Widowed or abandoned, it all depends on where someone digs the well."
Jane retorts "I assume the well will be dug where you pounded a pit into the ground"
"oh right, hmmm . . ." mumbles Dragon
"I see my life with you is limiting my choices." Says Jane
"If only everybody had a Dragon, the world would be a lot less complicated." Dragon says with an air of superiority
"And a lot warmer." Quips Jane
"And prettier." Adds Dragon
"I won't debate that, you silly newt" concludes Jane (they laugh)
Jane says with conviction "I have decided. I could try to have an ordinary life but for the fiery death threats on my husband or I can be an old maid and have a life unlike any other woman in the history of short-lifes. I want the latter."
"Ladder?" Dragon says quizzically
"The one with only you" explains Jane
Dragon nods as he says "I like that one best. No matter how many husbands you may have, you will never get use to the burning smell."
"I thank you kind sir for your most insightful counsel." Jane says as she bows to Dragon
"It is just another part of having the deluxe Dragon package." Concludes Dragon