Prologue

He is known as Germany.

But Germany has a secret.

A very dark secret.

He is Lord Doitsu.

The supreme ruler of homo.

The infamous leader of gayness.

The messiah of yaoi fangirls.

The nightmare of everyone else.

He has many names, for he is the greatest.

Or not.

It was night, and everyone in the small town somewhere in the south of Germany (*wink wink*) (but seriously, I meant the land mass) was already sleeping.

Except for her. She was desperately trying to escape the forest, escape HIM. Her legs felt like they were burning from the constant running, but she kept her pace the whole time, not being able to see the branches in the dark, until they slapped her in the face. Finally, she reached an old, small house and locked the door after she entered and fell to her knees.

The young woman was panting, partly from fear, partly from the exhaustion. She didn't have any time to process what was happening, because a few seconds after she locked the wooden door, it burst open and HE stepped in. Even if she couldn't see in the dark, she heard his loud voice.

"HAVE YOU ACCEPTED DOITSU AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR?"

"N-no!" That was the only thing she could say. He was scaring the sh...ampoo out her hair. Yeah.

His voice was calm, but cold. "I see. Looks like I will have to punish you."

He reached into his black leather pocket and pulled out a tiny pink radio (the typical plastic chinese junk type), and pressed a tiny red button.

"CAMP ANARCHY!"

He frowned and pressed it again.

"My anaconda don't

My anaconda do-"

He pressed it again, this time slightly annoyed.

"It's your baby! I know it! It has the same eyes"-

He muttered some curses and slapped the radio.

"Hey apple! Hey! Hey! Apple!"

The woman started screaming. She had never heard such an annoying voice and it frustrated her. It felt like her brain was melting. This punishment was worse than hell.

Lord Doitsu stared down at her and smiled his evil smile. Punishing nonbelievers was warming his soul.

Though he didn't have one.

And besides, he had to focus on his plan, so he didn't punish her that much.

Hello guys :D my first chapter, yay! I hope you like it. And btw, if you got the dickfigures reference, you're awesome :D

I hope this story will be fabulously gay and funny.