a/n: man, i am obsessed with the interaction between sans and flowey before the start of the game. before frisk fell. So this one is set up around that time.
dedicated to offbrandbiscuit
for always reviewing. hope you like it, buddy.
''
kleptomania
''
"Howdy, trash."
Sans turned around at breakneck speed to the intruding voice, as though offended. He saw a yellow buttercup flower just outside his sentry station. The fact that this plant had a face ticked him wrong. "whoa, that's uncalled for, talking echo flower." He paused, assessing Flowey's appearance before shaking in betrayed disbelief. "now, why aren't you bluish, tho? i prefer cyan better than stunning yellow."
Flowey brushed off the skeleton's fake disappointment with his leaves. He then frowned at the confused monster, cute creases on his face almost making Sans laugh. Almost. He didn't like this one echo flower. Probably because it was speaking. "Doesn't your idiotic skull remember?" Rudely, at that.
"about you? nah. too busy minding nothing. it's so tiring." But Sans did wink.
Flowey rolled his eyes... beads as eyes. "You're as boring as usual, smiley trashbag."
"ay, sprout, don't wet your mouth with those profanities, or you'd be... floWET."
Flowey's sharp mouth quivered in pent-up annoyance. Did he not know that his stupid sanity was on his pity? "I can't believe I'm trying to communicate with you." Sans chuckled at the flower's weird fixation on pushing him. Aw, how cute. After a moment, Flowey continued, his voice empty, "So when do you think it will end?"
A nervous laugh escaped Sans's mouth, but the prince could see the twinkling amusement in his eyes. Ugh. Fake pile of bones. "well, uh, when you're tired?"
"I AM tired." The flower hissed, annoyed look was given when he heard Sans snorted, 'yeah, rite.' He scoffed, "But it still doesn't end.
"It never will."
Sans finally looked at him dead in the eyes, his eyesockets darkening. His voice cold. "It will. Someday."
Now it was Flowey's turn to snort. "Alright, trashbag, let's see what you say after another one managed to play your stolen fight theme."
Despite physiological challenge, the skeleton raised an eyebrow. "that a bet?"
"Obviously, idiot."
Sans shrugged, continuing to dip his potato chips too deep into the ketchup, purposefully repetitive to irritate Flowey. Maybe then the plant would spare him another groundhog day.
Or he could just stop existing altogether. That'd be great.
"heh." Sans proceeded to stand up and tossed his dipped chip to Flowey. Angry red was blatant against the snow's white. The flower sneered at the poor food before turning up towards Sans, or not-Sans. He was already gone. He could have sworn that he heard the skeleton mumbling something in Wing Dings—dumb skeletons and their obsession on fonts—but he decided against it. Swearing was more of Chara's-teristic.
... Flowey did not just make a pun.
Damn that smiley idiot.
So Flowey sat there, alone, staring at Sans's thrown chips, waiting someone, something, anything, to progress his world.
''
a/n: you guessed sans's stolen fight theme, yes, it's kleptomania.
03/15/2019 ~oceanole