A:N: Seems like I've hit a slump, huh? This time, there's a reason for the comfort/hurt tag. Sorry I've been silent a few weeks, I told you I it writers block..I've written like, 5 things, but I ended up ditching them all. Anywho, I was reading the translations of "Minutes Before Castle Oblivion" manga scans, and found that Demyx was singing to himself about feeling unfufilled when he was interrupted by Xaldin. I decided to work with this, and stumbling upon Tokio Hotel, this was born. Another drabble.
Please review, reviews keep me going to write more. I promise the next thing will be drenched in humor!
Roxas was feeling overwhelmed. The day seemed to go by in a blur; a rather bland breakfast of what he perceived as oatmeal, then quickly ushered by the terse mumbles of a man known to him as Saix to the Grey Room, where he was handed the instructions to accompany a steel-haired 'Zexion' to Twilight Town to teach him the fundamentals of mission performance. Being told repeatedly that he was an important asset to the Organization due to his ability to wield an over sized giant key still left him puzzled as to why he was so important because of it.
Nonetheless, he usually found the time after all of this to wander about the winding hallways of the Castle That Never Was to mull over such thoughts, having nothing else better to do with his time. He had not yet found his niche among such plagued individuals, but he hoped this emptiness would fade as he gained the friendship of others. So far, Axel seemed to be the most promising.
Roxas stumbled upon a corridor in which he had never seen before, which he wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for the faint sounds of...singing?
The voice that belonged to the words seemed vaguely familiar, though having only been in Organization XIII less than a few weeks, Roxas' strength was definitely not with names. Sparking his curiosity, Roxas carefully walked down the dark gray corridor, as though the vocalist was some sort of skittish creature that would flee at the sound of disturbance. But Roxas didn't know; for all he knew, it could be an intruder.
It's raining today
The blinds are shut, it's always the same
I tried all the games that they play
But they drove me insane...
The soft twang of a stringed instrument seemed to accompany the voice, soft at first, rising and falling with the melody of the notes being plucked from the unknown instrument. As he came towards the exit of the hallway, Roxas found himself at an exit, leading outside the shelter of the castle onto what seemed like a balcony. Upon the balcony, a figure sat upon the stone railing, back facing Roxas, the only features visible to the small blond being a mess of dirty blond hair and the makings of a large blue instrument.
Life on TV
It's random, it means nothing to me
I'm writing down what I cannot see
Wanna wake up in a dream...
Ah, Roxas recognized him now. He was Number Nine, the mullet haired one who seemed to spend all of his time lounging around playing that instrument of his, a carefree grin plastered upon his face, though his sea green eyes would reflect the true nature of that of Nobodies. Cold. Unamused. Emotionless. Roxas never took the time to learn his name, but for some reason, Roxas felt a bit sorry for the elder member. To Roxas, Number Nine seemed like he would have been such a happy person... if he had a heart, of course.
Whoa, Whoa
They're telling me it's beautiful
I believe them, but will I ever know
The world behind my wall?
Roxas' brow furrowed in slight confusion. The world behind his wall? He had a wall? Surely he wasn't talking about the balcony he was sitting on...? Perhaps this was a metaphorical wall...
"Ah, there you are." A voice said behind the eavesdropping blond, causing Roxas to jump a bit out of surprise. Apologizing sapphire eyes met emerald eyes, and Roxas let his shoulders relax a bit.
"Don't do that, Axel." Roxas frowned, only bringing about a chuckle from the Flurry as he shook his head a bit.
"Sorry, kiddo. I kinda have a thing for dropping in unexpectedly." Axel replied with a shrug, his gaze shifting from Roxas to the singing Nobody out on the balcony, sighing a bit. "Looks like he's at it again, huh?"
"What?" Roxas said, looking over his shoulder at the singing Nobody.
"That's Number IX, Demyx." Axel said, motioning towards him casually. "You already know that he's attached to that instrument at the hip..."
"He's a very good singer." Roxas replied, giving him a little credit.
I'm ready to fall
I'm ready to crawl on my knees to know it all
I'm ready to heal, I'm ready to feel
Axel heaved an exasperated sigh, causing Roxas to look back up at his "mentor" questioningly.
"Why does he sing like that...he can't feel, right?" Roxas asked. The very notion that this Nobody could sing about wanting to feel at all was both confusing and interesting at the same time. He had been told over and over again that they didn't have hearts, but how could one sing without a song in their heart?
Axel scratched the back of his head, not quite sure how to answer the teen's question.
"Well..." Axel started, bringing his arms to cross at his chest. "I don't exactly know Demyx very well..but from what I've seen and heard, he isn't bothered so much by the fact he cannot feel...he hates that he's unsatisfied."
"Unsatisfied?" Roxas tilted his head a bit. Axel could see he wasn't making very much progress.
Whoa, Whoa
They're telling me it's beautiful
I believe them but will I ever know
The world behind my wall?
"You remember that sea salt ice cream you had a few days ago?" Axel said, trying a different approach. Roxas nodded, though he wasn't sure where Axel was going with this. "You said it had a salty-sweet taste. It was fulfilling to your stomach, right?"
"Well, yea, it's food..." Roxas replied in an unsure tone. Axel smiled a bit. At least he was getting somewhere.
"Imagine eating that same ice cream, but it didn't have any flavor. And, when you were finished, you were still hungry."
Roxas' brow furrowed at the thought, before realization graced his features. He turned back to Demyx, another frown forming upon his lips, but not that of annoyance or anger. It was a frown of pity.
I'm ready to fall
I'm ready to crawl on my knees to know it all
I'm ready to heal, I'm ready to feel...
Take me there
Take me there
Take me there
It all made sense now. Roxas felt that emptiness in his chest swell, causing him to place his left hand upon the empty crevice. This wall he was singing about...it was the wall between him and his heart...the wall separating Roxas from his own heart. Roxas was overcome with a sense of longing, perhaps the same longing that Demyx was experiencing at the same time. Axel watched the younger male become consumed in the musician's words, and with a small sigh, he slowly turned on his heel and walk back down the corridor from where he came. He knew if he stayed, he would be consumed in the same longing that Demyx was singing about. It wasn't a feeling that Demyx felt exclusively; they all felt empty. They all longed for their hearts, snatched away from them unfairly...but Demyx was a bit more vocal about his anguish than the rest. Axel just learned to ignore it a long time ago.
Maybe that's what they should all do.
But something like that is really hard to do, isn't it?
Whoa, Whoa
They're telling me it's beautiful
I believe them but will I ever know
The world behind my wall?
Whoa, Whoa
The sun will shine like never before
One day I will be ready to go
See the world behind my wall.