Insistent Terminology

by TwinEnigma

Standard Disclaimer - I do not own Young Justice or any of the characters therein. I do not do this for profit, but rather for fun and skills building.

NB: A prequel to Alien Abduction.

Warnings: spitfire implied

"You'll need salt," Dick tells him, balancing a heavy book of folklore in his arms. The younger hero crinkles his nose, pausing, and asks, "KF, are you sure you don't want me to call-"

"It's aliens, Rob," Wally says, yanking the table salt from the cupboard. "Not magic – aliens."

Dick makes one of those faces that pretty much says he's probably rolling his eyes behind his mask. "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck…"

"Do you know how many variations there are in the duck taxon?" he retorts, waving the bottle of salt at him. "Now, say you've got one from another plane of reality and that's what we're dealing with."

"An extra-planar alien duck," Dick states, the incredulity barely kept out of his voice. "Right. And if that's the case, you're having me consult a fairy-tale book, why?"

Wally gives him an equally incredulous look. "Because it's the most consistent record of local interactions with these aliens and will give us the clues we need to get Artemis back."

His best friend stares at him in complete and awkward silence for a minute.

Wally clears his throat, inclining his head at the book.

Dick lets out a heavy sigh and hefts the book up once more. "Okay, well then, it looks like you'll need an iron knife or edged weapon of some kind, you'll need to leave out food for the both of you here or carry some with you – the accounts vary – and once you find Artemis, you're going to have to hold on real tight, no matter what. Then you need to drag her into a ring of salt and stay there until dawn."

"Sounds simple enough," Wally says and, inwardly, wonders what it is about salt and iron in particular that seems to deter these aliens as he begins to speed-search the apartment. Maybe sodium and iron behave differently in their plane of reality. It was certainly something that would make sense, especially given that most stories seemed to imply that time and relative spatial dimensions behaved in a different manner within the so-called fairy realms. Unfortunately, he wouldn't know for certain until he got there and there was still the manner of that jerk alien prince to deal with.

Well, he knew a few ways to shut up evil princes, though tricking an alien meta would be a bit different than dealing with Count Vertigo and his super-massive ego. Then again, there was a known scientific correlation between villainy and massive egos, so Wally might have some leeway to work with on that end.

He leaves all his supplies on the counter, mentally checking them off as he finds them. Salt, food for Artemis, food for himself, extra snacks for both of them - well, mostly for him-, and the only iron weapon he can find: his mom's cast iron skillet.

"I really think we should call Zatanna," Dick says, closing the book.

"There's no time for that," Wally retorts in between bites of a banana. "By the time she gets here, the door to their dimension could be shut forever or, worse, Artemis could be married, and then what would we do? I mean, how would you annul a wedding to an alien if it didn't even happen in US jurisdiction? And Artemis would never forgive us if we let her marry that guy! He's a total jerk and he kidnapped her, Rob, come on!"

There's another awkward silence.

"KF, are you sure you don't want to call Zatanna? This is your girlfriend we're rescuing."

Wally sputters. "She is not! We're just friends! Friends who are friendly and just happen to like hanging out together and doing... stuff!"

Dick sighs and Wally can practically see his eyes rolling behind the mask.

"...Okay, maybe she flirts with me a little, but it's totally one-sided!"

Sort of.

"I mean, Rob, come on! How can you think I'd go out with someone so... so... stubborn and... and not cute! It'd mess up our teamwork!"

Dick just covers his face with a palm, puts down the book and slides off the counter. "You're hopeless, Wally."

"What?"

AN: Wally, you are in denial.